Chapter 29 – Isabella
T he thick squares of glass set high in the brick let some natural light filter into the stall, while the plastic covered ceiling lights buzzed to keep up with their job. The grout between the coin size tiles on the floor was brown with age and use. There was a certain funk that permeated the rooms of this building, and I would always associate the smell with old church. The few other parishes in our circuit that I’d visited were dated like Our Lady of Mercy. They smelled just as dusty, ancient, and pious.
Mass would start in a few minutes, but I needed a moment before the ordeal of sitting next to the strega for the next hour. Few of the menfolk would bother to make appearances. There’d been another illegal cage fight in Atlantic City. Our famiglia hadn’t hosted the event, but they flocked to the seashore in droves.
I checked my reflection in the compact mirror, not using the facilities for anything more than privacy.
The door to the bathroom banged open, and a chorus of giggling burst into the room.
“You’re so bad, Giulia,” Benedetta whispered.
“Sshhh, someone’s in here!” Giulia couldn’t stop laughing.
“Are you really going to try?”
Giulia murmured in assent. “All I’m saying is that if Caterina can pretend to be a hooker and have a taste of the bear , then why can’t we?”
If they thought turning the faucet on would help muffle their hushed speech, they were wrong.
“We don’t know anything about him,” Benedetta insisted. “Signor Fabrizi brought him along, and now suddenly everyone wants him.”
“But Caterina called me this morning with the details,” Giulia confided. “She said the new bodyguard was the best she’s ever had!”
My heart dropped painfully in my chest. They had to be wrong. Caterina was a lying little sneak. There was no way she would be able to sneak around her older brother and sleep with the underboss’s newest associate.
And Ilya….
He wouldn’t.
I fisted my hands at my side. He was my stalker. He left me gifts; he left me food! Every night there was a meal, and every morning there was some nutritious, high calorie snack such as a protein bar weight builders ate. I’d been eating them with gusto, liking to see that my ribs didn’t show as badly in the mirror and my cheeks were once again filling out.
The only regret was that we hadn’t been able to talk. I never caught him sneaking into my space and cornering him while he guarded the underboss was impossible. He hadn’t listened; he hadn’t left town, nor stopped his attention. It made me…happy. As twisted and messed up as this thing was, Ilya’s constant presence made me happy!
By any standard of a normal relationship, I might not know him at all.
But there was an undeniable connection to him.
No, whatever these little mafia bitches were talking about, they were wrong. He wouldn’t spend the night with another woman. I knew that in my heart. I wouldn’t accept any alternative.
The two women slipped into stalls, and even though a cold feeling made my limbs numb, I hurried out of the stall while I could move.
“Oh! Fourteen men were found in a dumpster this morning,” Benedetta added. “Every one of them was under Gambino’s charge before he disappeared and his fingers showed up at Isabella’s bridal shower.”
I frowned at the closed stall door. While the majority of parishioners of Our Lady were in the famiglia, Benedetta’s lack of discretion was disturbing. Before I could think, I pounded on her wall.
The woman yelped.
“You two need to shut your mouths,” I growled. “You know better than to talk about family matters. And Benedetta? Just because your daddy is a capo, doesn’t give you the right to talk about business. Ever.”
“Isabella?” Giulia stammered. “Is that you?”
“Lucky for you,” I snapped and moved to the sink to run my hands under warm water. It did little to dispel the cold seeping into my veins.
“How’s your wedding planning?” the younger woman asked, emerging from her stall.
The thought of standing here and making small talk soured in my stomach. I glared at her through the mirror. “It would take a hellspawn to prevent me marrying Alonzo. The wedding’s happening.”
Which, if the malicious gossip was to be believed, was already haunting the don’s reign. Between the war with the Scorso Famiglia and the disaster that was this marriage, holy water was being used for baths and cornicello amulets were being passed out like candy.
I glanced at my own, the charm nestled just above the neckline of my dress. Gio might be a troublesome kid, but he was a good little brother.
“That’s interesting,” Benedetta said in a tone that was almost a sneer. “I heard things were being postponed. Glad to hear you’re so eager.”
“And what’s that supposed to mean?” I slammed my elbow into the paper towel dispenser.
Giulia shuffled. “I think she means that it didn’t seem like you were interested in marriage before. And when the wedding planning fell apart—”
“And so mysteriously,” Benedetta added with a bite to her voice.
“We thought you seemed, well, glad.” Giulia shrugged.
“Right,” Benedetta added, coming from her stall and fluffing her hair. “It’s just nice to see you so…happy.”
“Well, I am.” I pointed a finger at the women—who’d been just as idiotic and bubbleheaded in high school. “Remember, keep your mouths shut about business.”
They nodded meekly, and I stormed out of the bathroom.
“Did you know she was so fiery?” Giulia’s astonished question followed me through the door.
“Nope, she always seemed so dopey,” was Benedetta’s hushed response.
I grinned. Yes, ladies, I have teeth.
It felt good to unleash that part of me, even if the moment was fleeting.
***
Those who were able knelt on the cushioned pads. The words of the priest floated through the sanctuary, and the words of repentance formed on my lips.
Cecilia hmphed.
I shot a side glance, hoping my black veil would be enough to hide the look. Coming in late, the underboss and his son knelt next to us in the pew. Their cologne was stifling, and I had to resist the urge to sneeze. Holding my breath only made my ribs pop as the muscles contracted. A snort exploded from me, filling the silent church. My cheeks flooded with warmth, and I struggled to suppress a second outburst. The strega reached quickly between us and her fingers pinched tight. A sharp sting radiated through my side. It wasn’t like her warning could stop the force of nature.
As the contrite confessions of the congregation rose in unison to the steepled ceiling, I sneezed violently, three times, in quick succession.
“Excuse yourself and come back when you’re more composed,” Cecilia hissed.
Sniffing furiously, I hurried from the pew, not needing to be asked twice. Dashing to the stack of brochures in the front entryway, I grabbed a tissue from the box sitting in one of the cubbies. It was only going to continue if I didn’t find some allergy pills. I ripped open my clutch, digging through the few items, even though I knew there wouldn’t be any relief in there.
I opened my phone to order a delivery grocery service to bring allergy meds, knowing it would be faster than sending the guards for the stuff.
Something dark prickled along my spine. Embarrassment swelled inside. I didn’t have to look behind me to know I was being watched. The spectre saw my struggle with the allergy attack.
He’s here.
The words chanted through my mind on repeat. Sweat coated my palms and only shallow breaths filled my lungs. It would be a simple matter to return to our pew and sit beside the don’s sister in plain sight of everyone.
But…I didn’t want to be safe.
I wanted to yell at him and demand a reason for his actions. This was someone’s life he was messing with. Guilt over our last nocturnal encounter should have been the driving force. I couldn’t bring myself to be upset at him. I chose to be with him.
And damn me, I wanted to taste him again.
I needed him to push me into the dark alcove behind the shelter of the religious statue and devour my mouth. The fire that burned inside fueled the needly little ache that hadn’t been satisfied.
Just one more taste and I would rid him from my system.
That lie was as unbelievable as it could possibly be.
This dangerous, intoxicating game threatened to consume my life. Was it because it was an escape from the tragedy of my reality? Was it because there was unfinished business between us? I wanted…him.
Ah! I was in over my head. I needed to march my ass back into the sanctuary and purge the dominating presence from my life with a contemplation of taking holy vows. But I couldn’t go back. I told myself it was because the clutch was empty. There was simply no way I would make it through the rest of service with the obnoxious stink of the mafiosos tickling my senses.
I rounded on the bigger problem, lurking near the stairs to the choir loft. “You need to leave me the hell alone. Whatever this is, it’s gone on long enough.”
“If that was how you really felt, you would have told the don who I really am,” Ilya countered sharply.
I sucked in a breath. “They would kill you! I can’t have a death on my conscience.”
Funny how my immediate reasoning was for his safety, not for the scandal his presence would bring to my life.
His voice grew hard. “Then you don’t actually want me to leave.”
Maybe he was right. I advanced, my angry steps carrying me closer to the thing I desperately wanted. “Why are you here? Why did you leave Chicago?”
There was a pause. “Because…you’re here.”
My heart pattered. “Do you follow every one-night stand from the club? Did you follow the girl sent to you last night—”
“I’m going to stop you right there.” That grey gaze hardened into a bright, lethal silver. “I’m not some Chicago player who scores on the dancers and partygoers, nor did I touch the mafia princess playing bad girl last night. Back then, you wore me down, week after week. I would have kept resisting you if it hadn’t been for the man bothering you in my club.”
His club. I always thought he was just some rich patron with access to the upper rooms. That made a whole hell of a lot more sense. Another piece of the puzzle clicked into place.
“You could have let your bouncers handle it,” I breathed. Images of the spectre launching himself from the VIP balcony and rushing to my aid flickered through my mind.
“I should thank that man,” Ilya said softly.
I stopped, right in front of the line where shadow met light on the patterned floor.
“Why?” I didn’t dare hope.
“He made me realize I didn’t want another touching you.”
That was it. There wasn’t much more my weary soul could take. This force of nature laid claim to me, and I was in danger of surrendering to his pull.
“You’re impenitent, aren’t you,” I scoffed, unable to fully believe what I was hearing.
The spectre cocked his head. “What is that word?”
I blinked. Whoops. Me and my big vocabulary. “Unrepentant? Remorseless?” I shook my head, trying to find the simplest thesaurus term. “Not sorry that you’re here and trying to claim what you can’t have.”
“Impenitent…yes.” He chewed on the idea for a moment. “I’ll never apologize for fighting for what’s mine. But you’re more than a polished, stagnant trophy, little one. You’re the ultimate prize, and I need to earn the right to belong to you. I will earn that, Izzy.”
Something crackled inside me. It would be so easy to move forward the last couple of inches separating us. But I couldn’t. I struggled to form the words that needed to be said. “I can’t be yours.”
“Too late. You sang your song, rusalka, and now I’m here, enchanted and forever your loyal subject.”
I couldn’t look at him. It was too much. It was all too damn much. Twisting around, I lifted my blurring gaze to the vaulted ceiling where the pale light was barely strong enough to penetrate the colored glass.
“I haven’t thought of anyone besides you, Izzy.” Ilya reached out, the tips of his fingers twisting a lock of my hair before he let it fall piece by piece. “You vanished. And we had unfinished business. I tried to let it go, tried to move on. But you were imprinted on me. I scoured the city, and then the country, accessing every dark channel I could to find you. And yet, my little siren, you disappeared into nonexistence, taking my heart and soul as your prize.”
“It wasn’t by choice,” I whispered.
But Ilya didn’t seem to hear me. “Then, in a sheer stroke of luck, I found your engagement announcement in the paper. Do you know how many times I ordered myself to turn around? To leave you to your happily ever after?”
“No,” I choked.
“I did it fifteen minutes ago—I’ve done it every hour of every day since I saw that picture.”
Weeks. He’d been tormented for weeks.
“What’s stopping you?” I asked bitterly.
“While the rest of the world sees the image you so carefully present, I see you. I see the terror in your eyes. The way you protect those you care about, even at the cost of your own soul. You should have contacted me, should have told me you were a prisoner.”
“There’s nothing you can do about it.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. I will protect you, Isabella, from every chess move, from every player who seeks to use you until you can walk safely, with your head held high like the saints damned queen that you are. You’ll never have to wear another mask, Izzy.”
Why did it feel too good to be true? He was one man, and I was trapped in a labyrinth of demonic sonsofbitches who wanted to use me or end me.
A ping on my phone signaled the approach of the allergy medication. The sound stung sharply as reality fell back into place. I moved away, watching the dust float through the shafts of grey light high above. The world out there was cloudy and bleak. Hopeless. Here was a ray of something, shimmering and dark, reaching out and offering itself to me.
His voice caressed my back in an insistent touch that made a shiver rattle down my spine. “The way I feel about you is an all-consuming desire; my every breath and purpose revolves around you. I will never touch another woman now that I’ve had you. And I will save you from this world, but Isabella?”
“Yes?”
“There will be no saving you from me. Do you understand that?”
It sounded so nice. I blinked at the domed roof high above, refusing to look at the spectre lurking in the dark behind me, his presence tempting me to flee into the dark with the promise of safety. An escape, wasn’t that what I prayed for? For a blissful moment, I wanted to indulge in the idea of surrendering to this monster’s claim.
But it wasn’t possible. There were more souls than mine to consider.
“You don’t believe me.” A rough laugh barked from his chest. “Be patient, Izzy. I’ll prove it to you.”
I rounded, ready to tell him— To tell him—
The shadows were empty, and I sneezed violently as the door to the sanctuary shoved open.
“What are you doing?” a creeping voice sneered.
Holding a tissue to my nose, I glared at Cosimo. “Waiting for Door Dash to bring my Zyrtec since you bathed in AXE or some other cheap body spray.”
The delivery driver chose that moment to push through the doors, one of Cecilia’s guards on his heels. The large goon no doubt scared the living shit out of the driver. That evil look in his eye made me wonder how he would tread on hallowed ground.
I hurried to the delivery man. We exchanged nods, and I took the paper bag, tearing the seal open, without many words exchanged. As I pulled the pills free, the driver fled.
The underboss’s son narrowed his eyes at me. “Your absence is making a scene. Return to church…immediately.”
The pill stuck in my throat as I tried to swallow it dry. Moving toward the drinking fountain, I ignored Cosimo. Or tried to.
The rotten bastard hounded me, suffocating me with his presence.
“Who the hell do you think you are?” I bit out, annoyance superseding my better judgment.
His hand shot out. Instinct made me move backward, dodging the blow. My hip collided with a side table, and pain flared from the spot.
“How dare you!” I gasped.
Cosimo advanced a step. “My father tore down yours, and while there’s a puppet keeping his seat warm, know that you’ll be a widow soon, dolcezza. I’m going to come for you.”
Fear slithered down my spine. He couldn’t be serious. Did he really just say that? I swallowed hard. Cosimo gripped my elbow and tugged me back to the door. I let him, but only because I hoped my dark knight watched from the distance. This little prick wouldn’t survive the wrath of my spectre. Ilya might not be able to save me from the whole famiglia, but he could remove Cosimo’s grubby fingers for touching me.
Unfortunately, through the rest of the service, there was no indication of the phantasmal presence haunting me.