33. The Weight of Dreams and Secrets
THE WEIGHT OF DREAMS AND SECRETS
RAYMOND
T he next few hours fly by in a blur. Even though we gave Charles heat for being overly prepared during Daisy’s entire pregnancy, but God, that RV he transformed into a luxury ambulance came in handy in getting Daisy safely to the hospital.
We followed him and his security detail in our cars. Our big family took over the waiting room, and finally, finally, Penny Hawthorne made her appearance. She has a tuft of her mom’s black hair, but her eyes are all her dad’s—strikingly blue.
“I cannot believe this day,” Willow mutters, looking out the window as I drive us home.
We already video-called Quill to tell her she has a little baby cousin who’ll share her birthday, and the way her face lit up said it all.
“I’m dying to see Bug play big cousin. She’s going to be awesome in that role.” Willow steals the words right out of my mouth. “See, I’m shivering just thinking about it.” She holds her hand in the air, and I grab her quivering palm in mine.
“When the day started, I knew it was going to be special. After all, I woke up with you in my arms, Firefly. Then Bug spoke her first words to me, and now we have a new addition to the family. Damn, I don’t want it to end.”
“I understand too well.” She twines her fingers with mine.
I glance at the clock on the dash. Quill is already asleep, and with Grandpa Will staying in the main house with her, there’s no real reason for us to hurry back home.
“Do you want to go somewhere?” I ask, placing her hand over my thigh.
Willow follows my movement. “What do you have in mind?”
“Let me surprise you, Miss Pershing.” I take the following exit, away from our usual route toward home.
I park my car outside our upcoming wedding estate, the catalyst for bringing Willow and me together. If this was any other business arrangement, I’d say we’ve met all the terms.
My daughter has opened up in ways I never imagined. We have the most luxurious wedding estate sprawled in front of us, and from the early inquiries about pre-bookings, I have no doubt this will be one of the biggest businesses in Cherrywood. But still, there’s one thing that has stayed unresolved. Something that wasn’t even a part of the initial arrangement.
When I first invited Willow into my home, I didn’t know how I would survive with her being in my space. But now, my biggest worry is how we , my daughter and I, will survive when she leaves our house.
“Why are we here, Raymond?” Willow asks, pulling me out of my thoughts.
I don’t reply immediately. Instead, I step out, circle the car, and open the passenger door for her. “I thought we could take a moment of quiet to let the day sink in.”
She gives me a hesitant look, one that visits her face often whenever it’s just the two of us. The times when her fear reminds her that this thing between us might be heading into some serious zone. I wait for her to sort out her thoughts and fears, until she places her hand over mine.
We walk around the building, which is completely dark right now except for the solar lamps that have been installed along the cobbled walking path. But in a few months, this whole place will come alive, and I can’t wait for it.
Willow and I amble toward the bench swing that I had installed for her by the stream. We settle down without words before she flips the switch, and the tree comes alive with the aid of numerous fairy lights. She looks up, and a huge smile takes over her face. Even though she’s always pretty, Willow Pershing is a vision when she’s smiling.
“After Gramps died, I felt his presence the strongest in this spot. But every time I came here, my heart would feel so heavy, like it was ready to plunge deeper and deeper in my chest. I wondered how and if I’d be able to make his dream a reality. During the day, I held my head up and tried to act all confident around you, Gio, my lawyer, Mom, Nana…but at night, when I was alone, fear and self-loathing gripped me from all sides. I was going to be a failure.” She pauses, taking a deep breath and then another. “I always thought I’d lost the happy, hopeful, and strong part of me when I lost Gramps. But then you made me the offer to be Quill’s nanny and did that”—she points toward the wedding estate before motioning up to the lit-up drooping tree branches—“and that.”
Willow’s emotions are like a heavy blanket in a warm room, thick and suffocating. I place my arm over her shoulder, and her head rests against my chest.
“Could it be that this dream your grandfather saw wasn’t exactly with you, but for you, Firefly? When he saw the little Willow helping him around in his B and B, he knew you were meant for bigger things, bigger responsibilities.”
Beside me, I feel her going rock solid.
“I don’t know your gramps, Wills. But from what I’ve heard about him, he wasn’t the kind of man who would want something for himself. If he’s watching you today, I’m sure he’d want you to be proud of how far you’ve come. This”—I point toward the estate building—“is because of you, your determination, and your grit. You need to believe that. I don’t think he’d ever want this dream to become a burden on you. The only thing he would want is for you to be as happy as you possibly could be. And that would be the greatest way you could honor him.”
Willow’s face lifts, her eyes wide, shining under twinkling lights as a tear rolls down her face. “I…I never thought of it like that.” She’s quiet for several long moments before the corners of her lips curl slightly. “I call Quill my surprise packet, but you, Raymond Teager, are the biggest surprise of my life.”
I tip her chin up, forcing those warm hazel eyes to meet mine. “Keep me close, Miss Pershing, and soon my surprises will be your new regular in a way that you’ll crave them when I’m not around.”
She lets out a breath, her lips barely moving as she whispers, “That’s what I’m afraid of.”
Her words do something to my chest. But I don’t push, don’t call her out on it, because I know this is as close to the truth as she’ll let herself get right now. Instead, we settle into a quiet silence, the swing creaking as I push us lightly with my feet.
“Is this turning out like you expected?” I ask after a few beats, glancing at the building standing tall against the night sky.
“It’s more than any of my imaginations,” she admits as a shiver rolls through her, her teeth chattering ever so slightly. It’s still early autumn, but night temperatures have started to dip.
I slide my jacket off and drape it over her shoulders, pulling her closer. “Have you thought of a name?” So far, we’ve been calling it the new Elixir estate , but that’s just a placeholder.
“I actually have.”
I shift so I can see her face. “What is it?”
“I loved how my grandparents named the B and B Whispering Willow. It made the place special, more mine, but…” She hesitates, her fingers fidgeting with the sleeve of my jacket. “It also always felt so… soft , you know? Almost like it was meant to fade into the background. I don’t want that for this place. I don’t want it to whisper —I want it to boom .”
“So what are we calling it? Booming Willow?”
She chuckles. “No, I think if we attract people with the building, we’ll repel them with the name.”
“Fair point. So what is it?”
Her smile shifts into something almost shy. “How about Blooming Quill? I want our bug to have a place that’s hers . But only if it’s okay with you.”
Everything in me freezes for a second. The name settles in my chest, heavy and warm all at once. I shift slightly, pulling away just enough to hold her face, needing her to see how much this means to me. “I think it’s perfect, and she’s going to love it.”
Willow swallows. “I think so too.”
The moment changes and the air around us thickens with electricity. I watch as her lips part, her breathing shallows, her gaze drops to my mouth and I don’t hesitate.
“I’m going to kiss you now.”
Like always when my lips touch hers, the world tilts. She clutches at my shirt, pulling me closer as if she needs me the same way I need her. I kiss her slow, deep, and soak in her sharp inhale when I nip at her lower lip.
“Can I ask you something personal?” she asks when we finally break apart.
“Why is it that we always end up having deep, soul-searching conversations right before, during, or after”—I lift a brow—“sexy stuff?”
Her lips curl slightly. “I don’t know.”
I brush my thumb over her jaw. “What is it you wanted to ask?”
“Um…your mom told me something.”
“Please tell me it wasn’t an embarrassing childhood story.”
“No.” Willow shakes her head, but the small smile lingering on her lips doesn’t quite reach her eyes. She glances at me, seemingly hesitant about whatever is coming next from her lips. “She told me…that you never took a paternity test when Quill came into your life.”
Silence stretches between us, and I don’t meet her eyes right away. I could give her the answer I’ve given everyone else. The one that’s always on the tip of my tongue.
I know Quill is my daughter. I don’t need a damn test to tell me that.
But Willow isn’t everyone else . For some reason, she’s the one person I want to tell everything to—even the things I’ve never told my family, including my cousins, my parents.
I inhale deeply and exhale slowly before asking, “Would it change anything for you if Quill wasn’t my biological daughter?”
Her eyes don’t widen in shock. If anything, she looks…steady, as if she already knew. “I don’t think blood defines family,” she replies like it’s a fact. “I found mine in people who aren’t biologically related to me. My friends. Your daughter.” Her unwavering gaze stays fixed on me.
She doesn’t say it out loud, but I want to believe that my name is also on that list.
“You are her dad,” Willow continues, “and anyone who thinks otherwise is blind and brain-dead.”
My grip on her tightens. I have to close my eyes for a brief moment, gathering the courage to say something I’ve never spoken out loud. “Quill isn’t my biological daughter.”
Her sharp inhale cuts through the air. “You’re sure?”
“I never took the test, because I don’t need to.” My mouth suddenly feels dry. “I was with Quill’s mom for one weekend, and the timing doesn’t match.”
She processes that for a beat, her brows pulling together slightly. “Does anyone else know? Your cousins?”
I shake my head. “It’s not that I don’t trust them or anyone else in my family. They all love Quill, and I know this wouldn’t change that a bit.” I swallow hard, the gravity of the truth settling deeper now that it’s out in the open. “But I don’t want them carrying the burden of this secret when it’s only mine to bear.”
Understanding flickers over Willow’s face as she reaches for my hand and threads her fingers through mine. “I’m going to say it again, Ray—you’re the best surprise of my life.”