Chapter 6 #3
“Hmm? Someone else’s dream. I travel between them. I often visit my sisters, May and Hazel. I used to help with my mother’s nightmares.” Elliot stared up at the magnificent stars and gossamer clouds streaking the sky. “I can leave now if you'd like. Since it's all in order.”
A frantic hand grabbed hold of Elliot’s shoulder and he met panicked eyes. “Please don’t. I want you to stay. Please.”
Elliot melted like he’d sunk into a hot bath, resolve no stronger than a wisp of steam.
Still, he gave it one more attempt. “You might not wish I did so in the morning. If you recall any of this.” Warren’s eyebrows lowered and drew together.
Elliot oughtn’t be so cryptic. “While you sleep, inhibitions lower, defenses peel away. It’s far too easy to say or do things you’d regret on waking. ”
“Puh-leeze.” Warren rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t regret anything with you. You’re the most interesting man I ever met. If I could’ve, I would’ve spent so much more time talking to you. Maybe never would’ve stopped. Told you all my secrets too.”
Warren’s gaze was so sincere Elliot had to repress a grin.
“Perhaps you wouldn’t, but are you typically so free with that sort of praise when you’re not seducing someone?
Or are you only expressing those thoughts because at this moment you don’t possess the foresight to consider consequences or how you might feel about saying it later? ”
Lips pursing, Warren stared out at the grass.
He was quiet for long enough that Elliot got lost examining stars, attempting to pick out half-remembered constellations.
Finally, Warren said, “I get what you’re worried about.
Probably wouldn’t be so easy for me to admit I wanna spend time with you out there, or that I hate I never got the chance. At least not out loud.”
“Exactly.”
“But…”
“Yes?”
“This is a dream right?” At Elliot’s nod, Warren continued. “If it’s a dream, will I even remember it tomorrow? I don’t usually, except awful snatches lately.”
“Then probably not, no. Most people I’ve had occasion to interact with haven’t remembered much. Our encounters seem to remain locked in the subconscious.”
“Right. So what’s the big deal. I won’t even know if I say or do anything dumb.”
“It’s wrong because it violates your right to privacy whether you’re consciously aware of the violation or not, Warren. Your mind ought to be safe. And I’ll remember. That’s not right.”
“Didja think my mind was safe when you showed up?” Warren asked, his stare far too perceptive as a hint of fear crept back into his voice.
Elliot sighed. His shoulders slumped. Damned if he did, damned if he didn’t. Guilty no matter which way he turned. “No, however—”
“So stay, then. Keep me safe in here, because it’s sure as hell not gonna be safe if you’re not with me.
At least in here it can be easier if I’ve got you to keep me from dreaming about what it’ll be like over there.
I don’t want to admit it and seem weak but I’m scared, Elliot. I’m so scared, all the time.”
How could he say no to the pleading in Warren’s voice? Or to the distress plain as day on his face? “All right. I’ll stay to keep away the nightmares and help you rest peacefully.”
Warren smiled triumphantly, then it dimmed. “Will you come back tomorrow? It’s been hell every night if I’m being honest. I really don’t want to be alone. Please come back?”
Elliot waffled. He oughtn’t agree to this. Warren was already confessing things Elliot suspected he would hate revealing in the waking world. Christ, he knew better.
“I’ll do my best,” he said. Warren brightened, throwing himself at Elliot.
Almost knocked Elliot over as Warren tucked his face into Elliot’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around his neck in enthusiastic thanks.
It startled a chuckle out of Elliot. He allowed himself a brief embrace before pulling away.
“I’ll come back if we can agree to abide by some rules. ”
Warren made a show of rolling his eyes again as he sat back, but the brilliant smile never left his mischievous lips. “Rules?”
One word. One word and the smug flirt made it into precisely the opposite of what Elliot had meant it to be.
Grant him mercy. In any other circumstance he could think of a thousand witty responses.
Those would only get him in trouble with his conscience, so he kept his voice from conveying how much he’d like to offer a vastly different sort of reply.
“Indeed. Rules such as: we refrain from touching one another. Absolutely no physical intimacy. I won’t take advantage of you in that way, not here.
” He struggled to disregard the disappointment on Warren’s face.
An immensely difficult task. “Further, if you tell me to leave I will. If you tell me not to return, I’ll stay away.
Nothing you say here will be held against you, now, or in the future.
Nor will I expect anything from you in the world outside. ”
“Can’t say I like the first rule,” Warren said, sounding reluctant. “But if it means you’ll come back, I’ll learn to live with it.”
This was a terrible idea. A terrible, horrible, genuinely awful idea.
The kind of idea that would inevitably incinerate them both and salt the scorched earth.
It was bound to have unintended consequences.
But when Warren looked at him so gratefully, Elliot couldn’t bring himself to regret whatever accident of fate had deposited him here.
He’d been wondering how Warren was faring since they’d parted outside The Hotel La Salle in the early morning hours.
Curiosity that only deepened whenever they’d encountered one another at a distance in the weeks since. Now he might see that curiosity sated.
There was always an infinitesimal chance this wouldn’t lead to utter ruin.