Chapter 18 #2
Elliot worried his bottom lip, considering Sully as if he was weighing the impact of his words before he committed to them.
Suddenly, Sully didn’t want to hear whatever lie Elliot was about to blurt out. It was obvious, now that he was starting to parse the mix of emotion filling the room, desire and longing, right there beneath much more intense nameless things covering them. He clenched his fists.
“Let me guess, Elliot, you figured since I fucked you once on the other side of the world, I’d be more than happy to fall right into your bed in exchange for a job away from the heavy fighting.
” Sully gritted his teeth and sent Elliot a spiteful stare.
“I got news for you, I’ve never sold myself before and I’m not starting now, so you can take your assignment and shove it right up your—”
“Christ, Warren. That’s not it!” Stone cut across, face red with anger, emotions a roiling mass of frustration and darkness. “I wasn’t—I wouldn’t—I’m not after that.”
Sully scoffed, throwing his arms out from his sides, palms up. “Right, just happens that I’m the best guy for the job? Me? A screw up who’s barely useful to anyone because I’m always one push too far from collapse? Bull. If you read my file, you would know—”
“I know you’ve been taking risks, bigger ones than you ought to, just to keep the men around you safe,” Elliot cut in, voice reasonable and urgent, like he thought this was a better alternative to the unseemly insinuation Sully had made.
“I know you push yourself to your limits every day and are never given enough time to recover before you rush right back out there again. So don’t tell me I don’t understand how useless you are when you’re the one who fails to understand how valuable you are. ”
Recognition lit up in Sully’s mind, fueled his flaming temper, shoved reason right outside and locked the door behind it. “Ah. So that’s what this is about. You think you can just swoop in and rescue me from myself, like I’m too stupid to know what I’m doing.”
Elliot’s brows drew down. His fists curled in tight balls at his side. “Well do you? Honestly, Warren, do you? I thought you wanted to get back home to Anne. Didn’t you tell me you would do anything to? Because it appears you’ve lost sight of that.”
Sully’s nostrils flared as his breath quickened, responding to the rising tension between them.
“Of course I want to make it home! Of course I don’t want to leave her alone.
But for fuck’s sake Elliot, have you been out there?
How many men have you seen die right in front of you?
How many body parts have you seen blown clear off?
I’m doing my job, same as every other man here.
I’m not any better or worse ’cause of what I can do or who I am.
They deserve to be safe as much as me. Why shouldn’t I ride my limit? I watch less people die that way.”
Elliot’s anguished eyes pierced holes into Sully’s heart. Tendrils of fear licked the air. “Christ. And what happens to you?”
“Why should you care?” Sully asked flatly, stance defiant. “You’ve got no right. We fucked once. That’s all. You don’t get a say in what I choose to do because you had your cock in me.”
Stone shut his eyes, a despairing clench of something not quite pity, but close enough to tick Sully off more, permeated the room. Choked Sully’s throat up and he cleared it angrily.
“I don’t want to fight you,” Stone said, quiet, opening his eyes, pleading blue all lovely and poignant and focused directly on Sully.
It’s not fair he’s got those damn eyes. Even when I’m fucking furious I want to stare in them forever. “So don’t. Tell me the goddamn truth, Elliot. What do you want from me?”
“I swear I don’t expect anything more than hard work.
Everything in me says you can excel in this role.
You’re smart, resourceful, and you’ve got skills suited to deception and infiltration.
You would be an asset, one we need desperately if we’re to stop an attack that could see the Germans turn the tide of this war before America has a chance to shore up the Entente troops. ”
The sincerity underlying those words, the honest pleading in his voice begged Sully to believe him.
Sully’s rage tempered to a simmer. Stone wasn’t lying.
He really did believe all those things. Maybe Sully had jumped to the wrong conclusion.
His constant exhaustion wore on his patience and made him quicker to burn hot.
What he needed was to think without all the feelings between them distracting him.
There was no time to press Stone for more information as a quick rap of knuckles tapped on the door, then Bell stuck her head in.
“Hate to interrupt, but that pompous old windbag who didn’t want Sullivan going anywhere? He’s on a war path. I suggest we sneak off while we can and let Courtemanche deal with the rest later.”
“Of course,” Stone said straightening, then he bit his lip in a shy gesture that plucked at Sully’s chest. That wasn’t fair either.
Sully was supposed to be angry, not thinking about the marks those teeth left behind and how much he wanted to run his tongue over them, to taste Elliot’s seductive mouth.
“Will you still be joining us, Warren? If you feel you can’t, I understand.
But I wish you would. We truly do require someone like you. ”
Sully hesitated. He was frustrated. In the dark on too much. Was he furious enough to turn this down? His chance to get farther away from the carnage wearing him down day by day before it spat him out raw? What would even be left of him when he finally returned home if he went on like this?
His anger couldn’t be worth staying. As part of Stone’s team he could be useful. Useful in a way that wouldn’t necessarily leave him undamaged either but might not destroy him quite as rapidly.
At least I might be able to breathe unrestricted. At least I might be able to think straight. But there’s one thing needs saying.
“Sullivan,” he corrected, uncompromising. “We do this, you need to remember who I am to you here.”
Something pained crackled around Stone. Sully frowned at it, but a second later it was locked down. A wound he obviously didn’t want Sully nosing around in.
“Right,” Stone said. “Yes, obviously. Shall we, then?”
With a sigh, Sully followed them outside. He really hoped he wouldn’t regret this.