Chapter 35 Patience and courage #3
The couple exchange a wordless glance before Zane slips from the room. Vienna takes my hand, drawing me down onto the couch beside her. Her hands move from my face to my arms.
“You’re not hurt? Nothing wrong with your health?”
“No. I’m fine. Physically.”
And as I say it, the last of my hesitation about coming here dissolves. Zane and Vienna have never made me feel like anything other than family. And right now, I belong here more than in Rowan’s house.
“Rowan and Echo are okay too?” Vienna asks, and I nod.
She exhales. “That’s good.”
Zane reappears, carrying a glass of water and a cup of hot chocolate. He sets them both in front of me. “D-do you want to talk to Vienna al-lone?”
I open my mouth and what comes out is barely a whisper. “My memory is back.”
The room goes still. It takes a beat of silence, of processing, and then Vienna pulls me into her arms.
“Oh, Violet. I am so, so happy for you. Everyone who knows you told me what a beautiful life you had, and I prayed every single day that you would get it back.”
I hadn’t known, until this moment, how desperately I needed someone to hold me like this. I squeeze her back and close my eyes. She runs her hand slowly over my hair, the way moms do, the way that is so unfamiliar to me.
When we finally pull apart, Vienna searches my face. “Isn’t this a good thing?”
I bite my lip. I don’t know where to begin.
Then my gaze drifts to Zane, and I notice his expression hasn’t changed. There’s no elation there, no relief.
“You know, don’t you?”
His mouth tightens into a thin line before he nods.
“What is it, Zane?” Vienna turns to her husband. “What do you know?”
“Rowan and I never discussed getting engaged,” I say quietly.
Her brows draw together. “But what about your grandmother’s ring?”
“It was how he was supposed to recognize me. But our date never happened.”
Vienna’s mouth falls open. “What? But he was in Spring Falls. He went for the date.”
“He found out that I was there too—Violet, not Purple—and he couldn’t make himself walk through the door. He stayed in the parking lot, and I met him outside afterward. That’s when I realized he was Night.” I pause. “The man I had been waiting for.”
“Violet.” She breathes my name. Her hand covers mine, where it’s clasped tightly over my knees. “And then you had your accident,” she says slowly, as though she’s afraid of the words.
“Rowan had nothing to do with my accident.”
Vienna smiles, a small, sad smile. “That may be true. But you will never be able to convince him of that.” She closes her eyes and tears slip quietly down her cheeks.
And the tears I have been holding back all evening finally find their way out.
When Zane moves to sit beside his wife, Vienna turns to him. “You knew he lied to her? How could you let him do that?”
“V-vienna. You know your s-son. He w-would never take advantage of a-anyone. He d-did it to protect Violet.” The anguish beneath Zane’s voice is unmistakable as he looks at me. “Th-there was no bad intention in what R-Rowan did.”
“I know that.” My voice cracks on the words. “But Rowan decided for me. Decided how much I could handle, how strong I was. This lie might have protected me in that one moment, but it broke him and us.”
I pause to breathe and give my emotions a moment to settle.
“Rowan is buried in his insecurities, and now in guilt so heavy he can’t imagine a future for us anymore. I don’t know how to convince a man of our love when he has already decided he isn’t enough for it.”
Zane runs his hands through his hair and closes his eyes. “I w-was the one who asked him to w-wait. He wanted to t-tell you everything the f-first night you were here.”
“Zane,” Vienna gasps, drawing her hand back from his.
“I w-was scared for our s-son and for the woman he l-loves, Vienna. Rowan t-told me Violet was his s-soulmate, and in the same br-reath he told me he’d left her w-waiting at that restaurant.
He was about to t-tell her that the engagement sh-she was counting on had never actually h-happened.
What w-would that have d-done to her? To th-them? ”
He looks at his wife, and his voice goes quiet.
“You know our s-son. You know th-the way he th-thinks. D-do you truly b-believe that he could have convinced Violet of his l-love-when he hasn’t even managed t-to love himself?”
The sob that escapes Vienna fills the room, and my heart breaks for Rowan and also for his parents.
“Th-that night changed b-both our boys,” Zane says softly.
“They have d-decided that what they see as their sh-shortcomings make them unworthy of l-love. Every d-day since that night, I have tr-ried to sh-show them that real l-love doesn’t keep t-track of your f-faults. But it s-seems I have f-failed.”
I can’t hold the hiccup that escapes me.
Vienna reaches over and takes her husband’s hand firmly, making him look at her.
When she speaks, her voice is soft but absolute.
“You listen to me, Zane. There is nothing in you I would change. Nothing that would make my life more than what it already is with you. I’m grateful for every single second we have together. ”
Zane’s smile is so full of love it aches just to witness it.
“I know, h-honey. And th-that’s all I have ever w-wanted for our sons.”
He turns to me with an expression of pure honesty. “I’m not s-sure I had all of th-this worked out in my head w-when I asked Ro to wait. P-perhaps part of me s-simply believed it was the r-right thing for him and you.”
Zane glances down for a beat before meeting my eyes.
“I’m n-not going to apologize on behalf of R-rowan.
We’ve g-given him a ch-hance and now he has to f-fight for your love and his own.
B-but for the pain you are carrying b-because of all of this, I am truly s-sorry, Violet.
If you c-can trust me, please b-believe, I was not only th-thinking of my son, but you too. ”
I rise before I’ve fully decided to, and Zane stands when he sees me coming. I walk straight into his arms and he pulls me close. I feel equal parts sorrow and gratitude and the particular warmth of a fatherly embrace, the kind I have only experienced with Pop.
“I know,” I whisper into his shoulder. “And in some ways, I’m grateful.
You’re right—maybe I wouldn’t be standing here if we hadn’t had these past months.
Rowan and I found each other outside the safety of a screen.
We got to experience this love in the real, complicated, beautiful mess of real life.
And due to that”—I pull back and look at him, at the worry, the guilt, and the love all living together in his face—“I know I have the patience to wait and to believe that Rowan will find the courage he needs to fight for us.”