Chapter 1
Chapter
One
K ade paced through the tiny airport. He made his way from the check-in counter, prowled past the car rental agencies, turned sharply at the lone baggage carousel, then retraced his steps and did it again.
Note to self , he thought. Confirm the flight’s on time before leaving.
Not that it mattered. He wasn’t going anywhere. There was no danger of him missing a flight. He’d be staying right there in Lost Creek.
Still, arriving at the airport to find he was ninety minutes early hadn’t been the best of surprises. Especially when his phone battery was at seventeen percent. He’d read until it had dropped into the single digits, then attempted to occupy himself with other things. Nowhere nearby was worth the drive to help kill time.
A milk frother whirred and an espresso machine gurgled in the cramped coffee shop he’d passed at least ten times. Roasted beans and creamy froth beckoned him, but there was no point in getting a cup. It’d be bland and dull, as flavorless and muted as everything he’d eaten and drunk over the last few days.
The air should have been filled with the heavenly aroma of freshly brewed coffee. Instead, it was the olfactory equivalent of a blank slate, mocking his inability to register even the strongest of scents. He told himself that, on the plus side, it was also saving him from the stench of harsh disinfectants and people who’d been traveling too long. But sense of smell was an integral part of being a wolf shifter, and the sudden lack was unsettling, leaving him off-kilter ever since the spirit had—
He breathed in as he reached a tall bank of windows, each and every one sealed shut, then pivoted on his heel to stalk back to the ticket counter.
His body might have healed, but not all his senses had recalibrated yet. Thankfully his hearing had returned to normal, as had his sight and perception of touch. He focused on the hiss of the air-conditioning vents and the brush of that slight breeze against his skin. Tiny airport or not, it was still a large open room with plenty of clean air in it.
Clean air and not much else.
Sunlight streamed through the windows, giving the wooden floors a warm glow. The whole place was remarkably modern, despite its location in a remote corner of the Rocky Mountains. A lot of money had been spent on the minuscule number of people who used it—likely no more than a hundred or so passengers on any given day. At least the architecture and decor were interesting. Not an hour’s worth of interesting, but better than the dated designs he’d been expecting from such a rural airport.
The sole rack of travel brochures had held his attention for a whole two minutes until he’d realized he’d been to every place they advertised—all local and nothing he cared to see twice. Places he’d dragged Victor to when they were younger, rarely more than a few hours’ drive away.
Was it too much to ask for a tropical island or a world heritage site? Maybe glossy pictures of white sand beaches and azure water? Something different from the snow-covered mountains and windswept plains he’d grown up around? Probably. ‘Welcome to the middle of nowhere! Wouldn’t you rather be somewhere else?’ wasn’t exactly a winning tourism campaign in the making.
He really should have checked the arrival times.
Rolling his shoulders, he continued his circuit, each lap a ritual of frustration and impatience, but no amount of pacing seemed to alleviate the itch gnawing at him.
Usually, he only got this restless on a full moon, when his wolf’s need to run shivered through him. But that wasn’t the case now.
This simmering inside him, this too-tight feeling of his skin—it was entirely human. It had to be human; there was nothing more to him than that at the moment.
His wolf’s absence cut deeper than losing his sense of taste and smell. It had taken the bulk of the damage when he’d been—
Kade inhaled, concentrating on the air entering his lungs, then slowly exhaled.
Without his wolf, everything was off. Everything was wrong. He’d never felt like this before. So incomplete. So broken.
God, how lame was he? How pathetic? Who’d ever heard of a wolf shifter with a defective wolf? One who couldn’t smell.
It had to be temporary. His wolf must be in some kind of hibernation while it healed. Anything else was unimaginable. His mind shied away from the thought of losing such a huge part of himself, of never experiencing the pleasure-pain of transformation again. Of being stuck forever in his human form.
He scoffed. After what he’d done to Victor and Elijah, after trying to rip them apart when they’d just found each other, it wasn’t like he didn’t deserve it. He should have been stronger, should have stopped the spirit from—
Invisible bands tightened around his chest, and he forced himself to take a deep breath, casting about desperately for a distraction.
In the coffee shop, the barista leaned against the counter, his eyes tracking Kade’s journey. He wasn’t hiding how blatantly he was ogling Kade.
Well, that would have helped pass the time. If it weren’t for the wedding ring on the guy’s finger. Cheaters could go fuck themselves as far as Kade was concerned; he certainly wouldn’t be doing it.
Though it wouldn’t have made a difference if the barista had been single. Kade’s sex drive had always been so tied to his wolf. Horny on full moons, marginally less so on new ones. He tried to imagine having sex when he couldn’t smell, couldn’t taste, couldn’t feel the primal spark of his wolf, but it was impossible.
Apparently close brushes with death had adverse effects on a shifter’s libido. Go figure.
He looked away before the man got the wrong impression.
With a sigh, he shuffled over to a bench in the arrivals lobby. Its fake leather creaked as he took a seat. He struggled to sit still, his leg bouncing.
In front of him, two enormous TV screens hung on the wall. One announced the day’s arrivals and departures—all to or from Salt Lake City, all delayed. The other played cable news, subtitles rolling as the anchor talked about events in places Kade would never get to visit.
When the program broke to commercials, Kade snorted as an older couple strolled hand in hand along a white sand beach. But then the camera dipped into the clear water, and a crushing, suffocating panic twisted around him. He squeezed his eyes shut and refused to gasp. Instead, he drew in slow, deliberate breaths.
This was a large room filled with clean air, and he clung to that knowledge. He wasn’t submerged in filthy water. No rot flooded his lungs. He could breathe just fine.
He shook his head, trying to rid himself of the memory. Karma, she was a bitch. He’d wanted something tropical. That the ad had been hawking erection pills was a nice little twist of the knife.
To distract himself, he pulled out his phone. Eight percent and one notification. Messages were good. They’d keep his mind off the shit show that had been the previous week.
Elijah
A quick reminder! I'm perfectly capable of throwing fireballs at your head. You're not allowed to hit on my BFF.
Kade
What if he hits on me?
The reply was immediate.
Elijah
He won't. You aren't his type.
Kade
I'm everyone's type.
Elijah sent an eye-roll emoji.
Elijah
To quote a different friend, Liam needs someone who can fuck him while he reads.
Kade blinked at his phone.
Kade
Huh. I've never done that. It sounds fun. What would he be reading?
Elijah
No! Bad Kade!
Kade
You're the one who brought up fucking.
Elijah
No. It means, like, anyone who wants to date Liam will have to share him with his books.
He needs as much mental stimulation as he does physical.
Kade
So what I'm hearing is I should be looking up Shakespeare quotes to use as pickup lines.
Elijah
Why did I think having you pick him up was a smart idea?
Pick him up in a platonic manner!
Kade
Because you're an excellent friend and know he'll enjoy the ride I'll give him?
Elijah
NO RIDES.
I mean, except in your car. Obviously.
Kade
It'll be a tight fit, hopefully in more ways than one, but I can make it work.
Elijah
Ugh. No.
Please behave? In everything but blood, he's my brother. I want him to like my pack.
Kade
Aww. New pack member card well played.
Fine. I'll behave.
Elijah
Thank you! I'm leaving for the shop now. Will see you there.
But remember, FIREBALLS TO THE HEAD!
Kade sent him a thumbs-up, grinning.
Elijah had spent the morning warding the wooden boxes they’d use to trap the spirits infecting their pack territory. He and Victor were needed on the pack land; Kade was not. Picking up Elijah’s friend was the only way he could help, the only way he wasn’t completely useless.
He scrolled up and clicked on the picture Elijah had sent, clearly cropped from a group photo and complete with a caption.
Elijah
This is Liam. Don't even think about it.
Unheard laughter glittered in Liam’s deep brown eyes, crinkling them at the corners. His wide grin revealed a row of perfect teeth, while his light brown skin told of blended ancestry and contrasted with the dark shadow of his buzz cut.
Elijah was probably right. Kade doubted he was Liam’s type any more than Liam seemed to be his. He couldn’t imagine anyone with a smile that friendly and genuine wanting a dirty fuck in the back room of a club.
He put his phone away to save the remaining battery, leaned his head against the wall behind him, and stared at the ceiling.
Elijah’s friends wouldn’t be his type; he already knew that. It was too soon for him to find his mage. His thoughts drifted to his grandmother—she’d never been wrong when she had visions.
And honestly, given the screwed-up state of his life, that was preferable. How shitty would it be to meet his mage like this? He wouldn’t be able to sweep them off their feet, to make them swoon over his charms. No, he wasn’t ready for a proper meet-cute. It was not the time for his reformed rake redemption arc. He hadn’t earned his happily ever after yet. If his mage walked through those automatic doors right now, they’d take one look at him and throw themselves onto the next plane out of there.
He prodded at his wolf, attempting to coax it awake but knowing it wouldn’t react, just like every other time he’d tried over the last couple days.
Come on, dude. We aren’t this pathetic. Wake your ass up.
His wolf stirred.
Kade’s breath caught.
It was sluggish and groggy after days unconscious, but it stirred.
The lump in his throat prevented him from swallowing, and his eyes burned, but he didn’t pay that any mind. All he could do was sit there, frozen, as his wolf roused itself. He forgot to breathe, forgot to move, forgot anything else in the world existed.
His wolf was awake. Grumpy and unhappy about it, weak from the healing it had done, but awake.
It shook itself, its long slumber falling away like snow from its fur.
Relief didn’t seem a powerful enough word, not after days of worrying, days of not telling Victor or their pack. Joy surged through him, so overwhelming it bordered on painful in its intensity. He let out a shuddering exhale and pressed his eyelids closed, savoring the connection to his instinctual side. The lack of that familiar presence had been haunting him like a phantom limb. When he inhaled again, no scents registered, but it didn’t matter. His wolf was with him once more, a missing piece restored. He could wait for the rest.
The roar of jet engines and the skidding of landing gear on the tarmac interrupted his thoughts, and he blinked his eyes open, swiping at them with the heel of his hand as he looked at the TVs and saw one plane’s status change to ‘Arrived.’
Kade’s wolf stretched, and it stunned him how comforted he was by something he’d taken for granted before this. His desire to get home, to shift and run, had his foot tapping against the floor, but he stopped the movement with effort, though he couldn’t keep his fingers from drumming on his leg.
The minutes crawled by until the automatic door from the security-cleared area opened and passengers spilled out. The rattle of luggage wheels accompanied them into the lobby.
He scanned the travel-weary faces—barely three dozen of them, with Liam nearly the last out.
As he stepped through the doors, Kade did a double take and almost rechecked his phone. But no, this was the guy in the picture, though it didn’t begin to do him justice.
He was a striking figure. His expression, so radiant and cheerful in that photo, was more serious now, accentuating his strong jawline and high cheekbones. The warm brown of his skin made him stand out in the crowd. The soft-looking sweater he wore pulled tight across a broad chest and hinted at the body beneath, while his backpack appeared to dig into his shoulders with its weight.
As Kade watched Liam, his wolf stilled. Far from its recent near lifelessness, this was a predatory quiet, a lurking silence, the moment of suspended anticipation before the strike. Kade shivered.
Ah. There was one of the feelings he’d been missing, and at the worst time too.
He shouldn’t have been checking out Elijah’s friend, but Liam was undeniably attractive, and if Kade had met him in a club, he would have tried to pick him up—in the decidedly spicier meaning of the phrase.
Elijah had to be insane if he thought Kade wouldn’t flirt with a guy who looked like Liam.
But Kade had said he’d be good, and he would be… After he took another beat to appreciate the view while Liam surveyed the crowd. He had about three seconds before their gazes met and recognition flashed on Liam’s face.
Kade stood. As Liam walked toward him, his eyes raked down Kade’s body in an almost physical caress that made Kade’s lips quirk.
He won’t. You aren’t his type.
Yeah, right.
And if Liam was giving him a thorough once-over, there was no harm in Kade doing the same as he moved to meet him halfway across the lobby.
He found himself inhaling deeply, the instinct impossible to deny. Like he’d somehow catch Liam’s scent when he was incapable of detecting anything. He got nothing but frustrating blankness.
“Liam, I take it,” Kade said as they reached each other. He received a nod in reply. “I’m Kade.” He extended a hand and had to suppress a grin when Liam’s eyebrows shot up.
Shifters didn’t do this to mages often. The gesture spoke of familiarity and ease around magic. A willingness to smell like it. Not that the usual reek of magic presented an issue for him in his current state.
As their palms met, Liam’s magic flared between them, alive and licking along Kade’s skin, a new sensation. Something that made him want to slide his hands over Liam’s body to get more of it.
He’d shaken Elijah’s hand before. This wasn’t like touching Elijah, not at all.
Liam felt it too, if the widening of his eyes was any indication. There were golden flecks in his irises—little sparks of light in the rich brown, fireflies in the dark. He was a few inches shorter than Kade, the perfect height to wrap in his arms and grind against as they danced together in a club.
None of Elijah’s friends were his mage, but that didn’t mean Kade couldn’t enjoy their company while they were there.
He stroked his thumb along the back of Liam’s hand and swore magic rippled under his touch.
Liam tugged his hand away, shaking it out, his eyes narrowing. “Elijah said I should be prepared for you to offer me a ride.”
His tone was flat, but left no doubt which kind of ride Elijah had warned him about Kade offering.
Right. He’d promised to behave and fully intended to keep his word, no matter how the hum of electric magic lingered on his skin, making him seriously reconsider that vow.
A loud buzzer sounded, and the belt of the baggage carousel jerked into motion, saving Kade from having to come up with something that wasn’t a pass at Liam. A salvation he was doubly thankful for because, for some reason, the only questions he could think to ask were if Liam was a bank loan or a parking ticket. On top of those being beyond lame as fuck, Elijah would not approve of him saying Liam held his interest and had fine written all over him.
The first suitcases started making their rounds as Kade and Liam approached the carousel. Given the size of the flight, it didn’t take long before Liam hauled a sizable black suitcase off the belt. In the bright light of the lobby, Kade saw the faintest chalk markings on the fabric—runes, maybe. Liam muscled the bag to the floor.
Kade hoped Elijah was proud that he hadn’t checked out Liam’s ass when he bent over… much. It’d scarcely been a glance. Totally didn’t count.
A matching suitcase followed, also marked with a hint of chalk. Kade lifted it, grunting as he belatedly noticed the orange overweight baggage tag on the handle. While it wasn’t exceptionally heavy, he hadn’t expected it to be quite so solid.
He opened his mouth to comment on it when Liam grabbed a third suitcase, and Kade realized there was a fourth behind it, also sporting those nearly invisible runes. He snagged that one as well, its weight similar to the other.
“Okay, that’s it,” Liam said.
That was it? Was he helping Elijah out for a couple of weeks, or moving across the country?
Kade should have borrowed Victor’s SUV. He wasn’t sure these would fit in his car.
Liam started to arrange the bags so he could roll a pair in each hand, but Kade nabbed two. No guest should be lugging four suitcases on their own.
“What do you have in these?” he asked as he led Liam out into short-term parking.
Liam shrugged. “As much of the library as possible.”
Books. He’d brought four massive suitcases full of books.
That called to mind Elijah’s comment about Liam… How much fucking could a person get done while reading four suitcases’ worth of books? Kade frowned as he tried to puzzle it out. He’d need to know shit like how many books were in each suitcase and how quickly Liam read to answer it.
He’d never paid attention in math class, but none of the word problems in his textbooks had been like this.
Not that Liam was there for fucking. And not that Kade wanted to risk Elijah’s wrath to find out. He was being good.
He cleared his throat. “So. What’s with the marks on the bags?”
“Protection runes. Most of these books are hundreds of years old and one of a kind. I wasn’t taking any chances with them.”
Kade nodded. How should he respond to that? Definitely not by asking about Liam’s favorite kind of protection or what else he might be packing. Those were absolutely off-limits. And regardless of Liam’s preference for large suitcases, Kade shouldn’t ask if he also liked large sacks. That was a horrible idea. Innuendos about emptying said sacks were not tempting in the least.
The four sets of luggage wheels clattered over the pavement, and Kade watched Liam out of the corner of his eye.
Damn was he good-looking. Did he have to have this whole tall, dark, and nerdy thing going on? His neat, modest clothing seemed like a front, a failed attempt at hiding the effortlessly smoldering hotness beneath. The contrast was doing things to Kade. Did Liam ever wear glasses? He might be even hotter in glasses. In only glasses, as he read, and Kade—
No. Bad Kade , Elijah’s voice said in his head.
Damn it. Behaving generally didn’t involve imagining giving someone a blow job, did it? But it was fine. He could do this. Asking if Liam always needed over an hour to arrive was a terrible idea. As were any questions about the mile high club.
Elijah just had to go and play the new pack member card, didn’t he? So unfair of him. Had he met Kade? Had he seen Liam? Was he trying to give Kade an aneurysm by making him repress a fundamental part of his nature?
For such a small parking lot, it took forever to reach his car, and then Kade needed to perform some serious tetrising to get Liam’s suitcases inside.
He managed it. Barely.
As he shut the trunk, he heard a jet engine accelerating and looked up to see a private jet taking off. It banked up and around the airport as he watched it fly away.
When he turned back, Liam was studying him.
“Have you ever flown?” Liam asked.
Kade forced out a chuckle. “Wolves aren’t known for flying.”
Typically they preferred to stay close to their packs, and when they did travel, they’d rather drive, willing to sacrifice the extra days on the road to avoid hours trapped in stale air with too many smells and noises assaulting their senses, while not being in contact with the ground. They would fly, if they had to, but most avoided it. They didn’t just leave to go jetting around the world.
Liam’s gaze assessed him, but he didn’t comment.
The first thing Kade did when they got into the car was crack the windows. Liam snorted, and Kade inhaled, about to say he wasn’t doing it because of Liam. He could use magic the entire drive for all Kade would know. With as messed up as his senses were, not even the abrasive scent of non-pack magic would register.
Most wolf shifters found the scent repulsive enough that they’d do everything in their power to not be stuck in a car with a mage for any extended period. That wasn’t Kade’s problem, but he had no desire to discuss the real issue. He didn’t want to explain why he couldn’t smell Liam’s magic, why he needed the windows open and fresh air constantly flowing through the car.
Liam could believe whatever he wanted about Kade. It was easier. And with three non-pack mages on their territory, it might be a blessing that his sense of smell wasn’t working.
He pulled out of the spot and pointed the car toward the exit, racking his brain for something to say. No pickup lines allowed. Safe, unflirtatious topics only. Those had to exist.
His wolf wasn’t doing him any favors; it thought picking up Liam was precisely what they should be doing, but Kade was being good, goddamnit.
“So… do you come here often?”
Well, that was not it.
Liam glanced at him, expression impassive, and Kade held back a wince.
How the hell was he supposed to have a conversation with a hot guy without hitting on him? That was such an unreasonable restriction, particularly when they had nothing in common. At least with Elijah he had the option of teasing him about Victor.
“This is my second trip out here,” Liam said after a few painfully slow seconds. “I helped Elijah move in, but I haven’t been back since.”
“Ah, I see.” Kade drove to the nearby highway. Fields rolled by, brown and empty, waiting for the oncoming winter, and Liam seemed content to watch them pass.
Silence settled between them, the purr of the engine and the hum of the tires the only sounds.
Come on. You’ve got this , Kade thought. Surely there were tons of non-sex subjects to talk about. Like… the weather? People talked about the weather, didn’t they? That wasn’t flirty. Yeah, he’d do that.
“Hopefully we take care of this soon,” he said. “Otherwise, by the beginning of next month, you’ll need to be ready to handle a thick six or seven inches.”
Liam raised an eyebrow at him.
Ah, shit. That came out wrong.
“Of snow,” Kade clarified. “We can get a lot of snow.”
Liam sighed, adjusted his seat belt, then returned to staring out the window. “It’s a thirty-minute drive, right?”
“Yep. Though, just so you know, normally when I give someone a ride, I make sure it lasts lon—” Kade clamped his mouth shut. Fuck. Why was this so hard?
He huffed. The fact that it couldn’t be hard was the problem.
Liam shot him another flat look, unimpressed by his attempts at not flirting.
It really was going to be a long ride, and not in the fun way.