Chapter 17
Chapter
Seventeen
K ade’s heart drummed a deafening rhythm in his ears as he followed Liam to their room.
No, it was his room, not their room. For his own sanity, he needed to remember that.
“We need to talk” was such a relationship thing to say, but he was trying not to overanalyze it.
Everything that had happened in the last few hours had left his head spinning. Realizing how compatible he and Liam were despite their differences, discovering what the spirits might be, finding out their neighboring packs were overrun by them, and facing one that large. How did he begin to process it all?
When they got inside, Liam turned to him, his expression nervous. In Kade’s mind, his presence jittered.
He inhaled like he was about to speak, then startled. “ Oh . First. Your sense of smell returned?”
“Ahh, yeah. Last night. Sorry. I should have told you.”
“So… Could you smell me when you were… uh… smelling me?”
That was a very polite way to put what Kade had done to Liam, how he’d feasted on his scent. There was no use hiding it.
“Yes.”
“The scent of my magic doesn’t bother you?”
Not even remotely. “You’re bonded into the pack, so your magic smells like pack magic.” Among other reasons it didn’t bother him in the slightest.
“Oh, I hadn’t thought of that. I suppose it would.” Liam winced, then squared his shoulders. “About that. About our bond…”
Kade refused to get his hopes up. It was doubtful this was going where he wanted it to go.
“I think we should keep it,” Liam said. Kade’s eyebrows rose, and Liam hurried on, starting to babble. “I’m aware that’s not what we agreed on. But don’t worry. I don’t mean forever. Just for now. Because this morning? Elijah needed all the power I could give him. I wouldn’t have been able to do that if we weren’t bonded. Or at least not to that extent. And we still have to face the spirit on Niall’s land, which will take as much energy to capture, if not more. And who knows what will happen after that? We need to be as strong as possible, and that means keeping the bond. I know, I know. I can sense you’re unhappy about that. You must be as eager as I am to get rid of it, and I understand, but if this isn’t finished before the new moon, we should stay bonded until it’s over.”
Unhappiness was only one of a dozen things Kade was feeling—elation that he could keep this longer, dread that it would make the severing more painful, and everything in between.
Liam was reading some of his emotions, but wasn’t parsing what they meant, and that “as eager as I am” was keeping Kade from contradicting him. All he was getting from Liam was the anxious jangling of nerves.
But the bond did make them stronger. Insanely so. The amount of energy Liam had channeled from him should have left Kade exhausted and depleted, but it hadn’t. They were more powerful together, and they needed as much strength as they could get. Regardless of what was happening between them, the best thing Kade could do for his pack was keep the bond until they were positive they’d taken care of the situation.
Liam’s face twisted into a poorly concealed grimace, like he thought Kade would reject the idea flat out, but Kade couldn’t do that. Even if it was a false hope, he could pretend there was a chance they’d stay bonded long enough for Liam to realize how right it was.
Kade nodded. “I think that’s for the best. After we get this worked out, we can decide what to do from there.”
Liam exhaled, his shoulders sagging with relief. “Hopefully it’ll be done within the next two weeks, but with the way things are going, I doubt it.”
“The sooner we defeat these spirits and whoever is behind them, the better.”
That was the closest he could get to agreeing with Liam. He did want the spirits gone, but he also needed to figure out what to do about Liam and the sudden revelation of how compatible they were.
Which reminded him…
“Now that we’ve settled that, I need to talk to Victor.”
Kade reluctantly left the room that was saturated with their scent.
Victor wasn’t difficult to find. He was sitting at the small table in the kitchen with Elijah and glanced up as Kade stalked toward him. “I take it you want to kick my ass?”
“Very much so.” A growl laced through Kade’s words.
Elijah snorted. “You guys have fun.”
Kade and Victor headed outside.
“Do I get to explain why before you kick my ass?” Victor asked as they turned to face each other.
“Sure, but that’s not changing anything. Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?”
“Because it’s you. ”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“I know you. For all you fuck around, you’re weirdly romantic about true bonds. Don’t pretend you didn’t want that moment when you realized it yourself. I’d bet the fucking pack house you’ve wanted that for years. Someone else telling you wouldn’t have been the same. I thought your sense of smell would return sooner, but if I’d known it’d take the better part of a week, I still wouldn’t have told you. I wouldn’t have taken that realization from you, and I wasn’t letting the pack do it either.”
Kade huffed in frustration. As much as he hated to admit it, there was something special about experiencing it himself, realizing it himself. Learning about it secondhand would have felt like a spoiler.
It also pissed him off that Victor had guessed the stupid romantic notions he held about getting bonded.
He knew it took time to recognize true compatibility—scents needed to mingle first. But he’d figured it wouldn’t take long, and then he’d treat his mate like they were the most precious person in the world. He’d make them feel special. He wouldn’t pin them down in the forest and fuck them, creating this mess of a bond.
“It sucks it happened how it did,” Victor said, following Kade’s train of thought. “Things would have been a lot easier if he’d come to visit Elijah in a month or two, but that’s not the case. And no, before you ask, it wasn’t until afterward, when your scents were thoroughly mixed, that I noticed. Obviously the circumstances aren’t ideal, but even if it comes with an ass-kicking, I don’t regret my decision.”
Kade ran a hand through his hair and paced away from Victor, then back.
Everyone in the pack had known. Their damn gossipy pack had kept their mouths shut for almost a week. They’d probably all had aneurysms over repressing the urge to meddle, but they’d done it. For him. Because Victor had made it clear they shouldn’t.
“Fuck you.” He glared at Victor. “I can’t kick your ass when you’re being irritatingly reasonable and shit.”
“Never stopped you from trying when we were kids.”
“You were never reasonable when you were a kid. This is an entirely new thing you’ve started. Clearly Elijah’s doing.”
Victor grinned.
He was such a dick. And not the fun kind.
A thought hit Kade.
Dicks .
Oh fuck.
He cringed and buried his head in his hands. “The first present I gave him was a bunch of dick-shaped candles,” he said in a horrified whisper. “And then a dick-shaped lollipop. Our grandchildren are going to ask how we met, and I’ll have to tell them an evil spirit played matchmaker, and then I wooed him with dick-shaped presents.”
“You’re already imagining grandkids?”
“We won’t have them if I keep giving him presents shaped like dicks.”
“And what has he given you?”
“…Porn and sexy underwear.”
Victor snorted out a laugh. “See? Match made in heaven. Besides, anyone meant for you is basically required to enjoy a variety of dick-shaped things.”
Kade blinked at him. “That sounded like something I’d say.”
“Someone has to pick up the slack. Should I embrace my inner Kade and say you better hope he likes dick-shaped things because your face is dick-shaped?”
“Oh, fuck off. I’d never say something that lame.” Kade shoved him, and Victor pushed back.
“Give me four or five hours and I’ll make you a list of all the dumb-ass shit you’ve said over the years.”
Kade scoffed. “Lies.”
They stood in silence as Kade processed everything.
He huffed, his shoulders slumping. “I didn’t think it would be any of Elijah’s friends.”
Victor raised an eyebrow.
“Grandma June,” Kade said. “Once, when we were alone, shortly before she passed, she had a vision that I’d also end up with a mage, but it’d take a while. So I figured it couldn’t be one of Elijah’s friends. It seemed too soon after you two getting together.”
“You never told me that.”
“You’re one to talk when it comes to hiding things. We still need to discuss the real reason you didn’t trust your wolf when it came to Elijah.”
“Oh, no. This is about your issues, not mine.”
“Fine. But don’t think for one second we aren’t going to deal with your shit eventually,” he said, pointing at Victor before deflating. “I didn’t tell you—didn’t tell anyone —because I’d seen you get teased about it for years, and I don’t know… I wanted something of my own. A secret little piece of the future just for me. Plus there was the whole ‘taking a while’ thing. What if I told everyone and it didn’t happen until I was fifty?”
“That ‘it’ll take a while’ might have meant it would take a while for you to become aware of it.”
“Maybe? Or maybe she was getting the general impression of this fucked up situation. She never would have imagined one of us bonding a mage in something other than a true bond.”
“But you do have a true bond.”
“Do I? Because it sure as fuck doesn’t feel like it. I can sense his emotions to some extent, but it’s nothing like you and Elijah.”
“You can smell how compatible you two are now. The entire pack can, and Elijah says it’s written in Liam’s magic too.”
“Then why is the bond so weak?”
“How does it feel when Liam uses your energy?” Elijah asked.
Kade spun around to see him descending the porch steps. He’d been so focused on Victor, he hadn’t heard Elijah slip outside.
Elijah shrugged, reading his surprise. “Since it appeared no ass-kicking was happening, I decided I might as well join you. But seriously, how much access does Liam have to your energy?”
Kade frowned. “When we’re touching, he can access all of it, but when we aren’t, it’s sort of a light flow.”
“Consent,” Elijah said.
“What?”
“The reason your tether isn’t like ours. Consent. You were under the influence of the spirit when you bonded. Neither of you were consenting.”
“I was more than willing to have sex with Liam.”
“Finish that sentence.”
“What?” Kade asked again.
“There’s more to that sentence. Would you have had sex with Liam in the forest when you were supposed to be doing something to protect the pack if you weren’t affected by the spirit?”
“Of course not, but in a different situation, I absolutely would have.”
“But it wasn’t a different situation. You couldn’t fully consent, not while the spirit was affecting you. I’m not sure about bonds, but from the mage side, tethers require consent to work properly. If Liam doesn’t have full access to your energy, that might be why. He didn’t have your full consent.”
That seemed logical. Kade looked at Victor. “Would that affect the bond? I know transactional bonds don’t have the same level of emotional transfer as true bonds, and I’ve been assuming that’s why I’m not sensing him completely. That it’s distant and muted because it was similar to a transactional bond.”
Victor cocked his head. “I’ve never heard about how non-consensual bonds feel, other than that they can be used to steal control of a mage’s magic. Not that you forced the bond on him, but that’s the closest thing I can think of. Maybe the best parts of a bond don’t happen unless it was consented to by both parties?”
Kade’s stomach sank. “So I fucked up my chance.”
“What do you mean?” Elijah’s gaze bounced between Victor and Kade.
“We can’t bond the same person twice,” Kade explained. “If our bond is messed up, it’s not like we can sever it and get a redo.”
“Liam should be able to reset the tether between you if you’re both willing. That might fix it?”
Whether it would or not, in reality, it didn’t matter. “Liam doesn’t want the bond. Why would he fix it when he plans to sever it as soon as this is over?”
Victor stared him down. “Have you given him any indication that it could be something more than temporary?”
“No, because he doesn’t want to be a pack mage or be trapped here. He has a job he loves and a life on the East Coast, and unlike Elijah, that’s not changing. He wouldn’t want to live in the middle of nowhere for me.” He glanced at Elijah. “Liam would never stay out here, right? Would he be happy in some little rural town?”
Elijah shook his head. “I wish he would. I’d love to have him here. But unfortunately, no. I can’t imagine him living here permanently. I think he’d be fine being here occasionally, but definitely not full-time. He needs to constantly be learning new things, and that’s not possible here. Not to the level he requires.”
“See,” Kade said to Victor. “I can’t leave; he won’t stay.”
Victor snorted. “Why can’t you leave? There are packs on the East Coast. Pretty sure you’re even related to one. Do you honestly think I’d keep you here if that’s what you had to do? If you need to leave to be with him, then you need to leave.”
Kade’s mouth dropped open. It took him a minute to respond to that. “But I’m your second.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I want you here, but only as often as you want to be here. No more, no less. I’d miss your obnoxious ass more than you’ll ever get me to admit. But I’m not going to be the reason you can’t be with him.”
Something inside Kade loosened at the permission Victor had given him. He didn’t have to be chained there; he could go wherever Liam wanted or needed him. Part of him ached at the idea of leaving his pack, but the rest was certain Liam could be his pack too.
But that lovely sentiment aside, he couldn’t let a comment like that slide. “How would you run this place without me?”
Victor waved him off. “I can replace you.”
“Fuck you. I’m irreplaceable. No one could do as good a job as I can.”
Victor scoffed. “Katrina would run circles around you. She’d make a killer second.”
Kade wanted to be offended, but Victor was right. He was being right an annoying amount today.
“So are you done thinking of reasons this can’t work?” Victor asked. “Are you going to stop denying it?”
Kade sighed. “He smells so good. Fucking perfect. I don’t want to sever the bond. I want to see where this goes, but I don’t know. It feels like karma that I ended up with a bond like this after everything I did to you two.”
Victor growled. “I thought we were past this shit. If I’d been possessed and had attacked you, would you be saying I didn’t deserve Elijah?”
“Fuck no.”
“So why are you saying it about yourself? Give yourself a break. You deserve happiness as much as we do. One shitty run-in with a spirit didn’t change that.”
“But—”
“No. I told you to take your own advice, and I meant it. Get your head out of your ass. You and Liam smell like you should be together, and until you discuss it with him, don’t assume it can’t happen. If there was zero possibility of him wanting to be with you, I don’t think you’d be as compatible as you are.”
Kade wished he could believe that, but he still worried there had been a mistake. Were scents ever wrong?
“You should show him the attic,” Elijah said.
Victor chuckled. “Yeah, you should.”
Kade’s brow furrowed. “Why would I do that?”
He got the parallels between this and him making Victor show Elijah the attic, but everything up there had been destined for Victor’s mage. That didn’t apply this time.
Elijah’s expression grew mischievous. “You should have your Beauty and the Beast moment. It makes a mage rather fond of the person who shows them.” He exchanged a warm, knowing glance with Victor that left Kade longing for that kind of connection.
“Plus,” Elijah continued, “Liam really likes books, and there are a lot of them up there. He might find something useful. I’ve only looked through things briefly. Once Liam was finished with the books he brought, I was planning to have him go through it, and Aran and Miles took care of the last of his books yesterday.”
Resolve built inside Kade. He could do that. He’d show Liam the attic, and then they’d go from there.
Victor smirked. “Hey. I’m starting to see your face again.”
Kade did the emotionally mature thing and flipped him off.
But he needed to know something if he was doing this. They couldn’t avoid the pack and Liam’s friends forever. They had to help.
“How can you stand Elijah being away from you and letting people get close to him?”
Victor shrugged. “It’s what I need to do for the pack. I focus on that. It doesn’t stop the instincts, but it mitigates them. You managed just fine today. I’m assuming because your attention was on the spirits? On saving Grant’s pack?”
Kade paused, then nodded. Although he hadn’t been happy they were around so many people or that Liam had been in danger, he’d known it was what they had to do.
“So the next time you have the urge to drag him to your room because someone breathed in his general vicinity, concentrate on what you need to do,” Victor said.
“Also, the overly possessive feelings are super hot, especially when he’s worked up and ready to haul me to bed. Liam will grow to appreciate it too.” Elijah sent Victor a heated look that made Kade think Victor’s self-control wouldn’t be holding out long after this conversation.
He rolled his eyes. “Oh, go fuck already.”
“Same to you,” Victor shot back.
“Yeah, same to you,” Elijah said. “You have my permission to be your perverted self around Liam and court the absolute hell out of him. And I know I don’t need to give you the ‘if you hurt him’ speech, because you won’t. But if you hurt him…” He held out his hand, and a ball of fire sprang up over it. He grinned at Kade—a pleasant threat.
A smile twitched at the corner of Kade’s mouth. “Fair enough.”
He had no intention of hurting Liam. If anything, it’d be the other way around.
With a nod to Victor and Elijah, he went inside the house and up the stairs.
When he got back to his room, Liam was passed out on their bed, the night of no sleep and the morning’s magic use catching up to him.
Kade sat beside him and just breathed, letting Liam’s scent—their scent—wash over him.
They smelled so right together. So perfect.
He didn’t want to give this up. There were so many things he longed to do. Pull Liam close, wrap himself around him, bury his nose in the crook of his neck and drown in his scent. But he didn’t; he restrained himself. For now.
Their to-do list felt endless—catching more spirits than ever, determining how to destroy them and who was behind them, getting Niall to let them help him, and more—but none of that would stop Kade from trying. If he didn’t do that much, he’d regret it.
No matter how this had begun, he wanted to keep it, so he was going to do everything he could to convince Liam they were meant for each other.
He’d make this into the perfect love story he’d always dreamed of if it was the last thing he did.