Chapter 17
seventeen
. . .
Wren
I hurried down to the water, wearing nothing but my lace bra and panties, before diving in.
I am actually doing this.
Axel and I used to always strip down and jump in the water when we were young. Once we got to high school, I was a little more self-conscious about being in the water in nothing but our undies, and he’d always make fun of me for it.
The man didn’t have a self-conscious bone in his body.
But he did have a giant bone attached to his body, which I’d just gotten a peek of as it protruded through his briefs.
I burst through the surface of the water and pushed the hair out of my face as I turned in a circle, trying to find Axel.
“Looking for someone?” His voice was deep and gravelly as he came up behind me.
I whipped around to look at him. The light from the moon, the only thing illuminating the dark river, created a halo around him.
“Just making sure you’re still out here, because swimming in dark water still freaks me out,” I said, my words breathy as I treaded water to stay in place.
“You can put your feet on the ground. It’s not that deep.” He was clearly standing with ease. I pointed my toes in an attempt to reach the bottom, only to find that touching the ground meant the water would cover my face.
I sighed and continued twirling my legs and arms around to keep myself afloat. “We aren’t all six foot three.”
“That’s right. I’ve got almost a foot on you.” He moved closer, a wicked grin spreading across his face. “You can ask for help, you know.”
I blew out a breath, already exhausted from working so hard to keep my head above water. “What if I just hold on to your shoulders.”
“Sure. Use me however you want to.” His voice was gruff and sexy, and a dull ache settled between my thighs.
I hadn’t been touched by a man in a long time. I mean, really touched. Sure, I’d made out a few times since the night Axel and I had spent together.
But he was the last man to make me feel something.
Anything.
I desperately tried to maneuver my body so I could grasp his shoulders yet still keep some distance between us.
A loud laugh escaped him. “Just hold my damn shoulders and relax. I can’t see anything.”
My leg brushed against his as I held on to him, making sure to put a few inches between all our off-limit areas.
“Thanks,” I said, leaning back to look at the stars. “I miss how peaceful it is out here.”
“Yeah? It’s hard to beat, isn’t it?”
“It is.” I sighed before straightening my neck and looking into those sage green eyes. “Thank you for giving me a job and giving me an apartment and getting Wrax back for me. I really am grateful.”
“I know you are. And you’re helping me as much as I’m helping you. My books were a mess, and you’ve got everything running like a well-oiled machine.”
“Happy to help.” I nodded. “I felt like you were avoiding me tonight. Sometimes it seems like we’re back to normal, and other times I feel like you’re pulling away.”
“I’m just trying to stay in my lane, Wren.”
“What lane is that?” I asked.
“The one where we get our friendship back on track. Where I know that no matter where you are, we’re still connected.” He cleared his throat. “I can’t lose you again, Wren.”
It was honest and vulnerable, and I appreciated it.
“I can’t lose you, either.”
“So we’re on the same page,” he said, the corners of his lips turning up.
“Aren’t we always on the same page?”
“Yeah. So you’re here until the end of July? I haven’t wanted to push, but I want to know.” He blew out a breath. “I guess in a way, I need to know.”
“Wrax and I go to North Carolina at the end of July and will get back on our routine.” I lived at a training facility there, an all-inclusive equestrian center where many riders lived and trained.
“And do you feel good about going back?”
“Yes and no.” I pushed the hair back from his forehead because I wanted a better view of his eyes. Unfortunately, the slight change of position had my knee grazing his very eager erection. “Oh my gosh. Control that thing, Axel!”
“You’re practically naked in my arms, and you think my dick can just fake his feelings for you?” He laughed. “Answer the damn question. I feel like you’re holding back with me, and if you want me to put my guard down, you need to do the same. Come on, Horse Girl. It’s me.”
His words hit me right in the chest, and I adjusted my hands on his shoulders. Because it was him. I could trust him.
“Something shifted in me a few weeks before I came home,” I whispered.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I had that accident shortly after I won Worlds, and normally a disastrous showing would put a fire in me. But this was different.”
“How so?”
“It felt like a wake-up call. I’d just won this huge title, and then here I was lying on the ground with a few broken ribs and a bunch of scrapes and battle wounds, and I just didn’t know if I wanted to even get up,” I said, feeling a huge weight lift off my shoulders as the words left my mouth.
“That’s not like you,” he said, his voice quiet. “Maybe your gut is telling you something.”
“Yeah. It’s tricky. I’m in a good position to make the Olympic team, and that has always been the big goal, right?” I shook my head. “But I don’t feel excited or passionate about it. Not the way I should.”
“Do you think it’s because of the fall? Did it scare you?”
“Nope. It wasn’t near to being the worst I’ve ever had.
But it could have just been a moment, you know?
And then all hell broke loose with my father and Coach Sharky, and they decided that Wrax was the problem.
” My legs brushed against his, and I found myself staring at his mouth.
His plump lips formed a straight line now, his eyes laced with concern.
“Is going to the Olympics still a dream of yours?”
No one had asked me that. Not in the last five years.
“I don’t actually know,” I said, my voice just above a whisper.
“You know that my grandfather made the Olympic team, and it’s just been something my father’s ingrained in me since I was young.
And I just don’t know if it’s my dream or his dream that I’m chasing.
I feel like I’ve accomplished so much, and I don’t know, sometimes I just wonder if there’s something more for me out there. ”
“More as far as competing?”
“No. More as far as living.” I shrugged. “But I also don’t want to have regrets. I feel like I should just know, and I don’t feel strongly one way or the other, outside of knowing that the only way I want to compete is with Wrax. We’re a team, you know?”
I’d never experienced a crossroad like this in my career. I wondered if it was a phase, or the stress of Wrax being sold in the most deceitful way, or the mess my family was currently going through, or the fact that my brother had betrayed me.
A little gust of wind moved around us, and a few small waves glided through the water. My chest grazed his, just as my middle bumped against his groin.
“For God’s sake, Cowboy. Control your body.”
“I can’t help that I’m attracted to you, Wren,” he groaned.
I was painfully attracted to him. But we had a long way to go to repair our relationship, and the first time we’d crossed the line had ended in a disaster. I wasn’t looking for a repeat of that, especially the way he was still cautious around me.
The one good thing that I had going on right now was that I had Axel and Wrax back in my life.
I couldn’t hide the smile on my face. “I thought you were mad at me.”
“I am mad at you.” He raised a brow. “Doesn’t mean I’m not attracted to you, too.”
I rolled my eyes. “What are you mad at me for?”
“I’m mad at you for not coming to me when you know me better than anyone. But I’m mostly mad at you for leaving me.” There was zero hesitation in his voice.
“I’m mad at me for leaving you, too.”
“And you’re leaving me again,” he said, his gaze locked with mine. “Even when you aren’t sure what you want, you’re going to do it because it’s who you are.”
“My father may be on my shit list lately, but he’s supported my passion for many years, as well as providing the financial support to pursue my dream.
And then I’ve got Coach Sharky, who’s put in a lot of time and energy to get me to where I am now, and I feel like I owe it to him. ” I blew out a breath.
It was the truth. At the moment, they were my reasons for returning, and I wasn’t sure that was good enough.
“What about what you owe to yourself. To you and to Wrax? Is this what you two want?”
“Wrax and I are happiest when we’re just out in a field running through wildflowers and chasing butterflies.” I smiled, because it was true.
“You’ve always known what you wanted, so I’m sure it’s frustrating that you don’t know right now.”
“I think I’ll figure it out. At least I know what I want for every other aspect of my life,” I said, my voice more confident now.
“Tell me.”
“I want to take Wrax out and just get back to riding for the fun of it. I want to teach. I love working with Melody. Love the idea of empowering young riders and educating them about the sport, and at the same time encouraging them to love the process. Being outside in nature, bonding with a beautiful animal, feeling the wind blow in my hair…” I sighed. “Laughing and living, I guess.”
“That’s cowboy kind of stuff right there,” he said with a chuckle. “But I get it. It’s going back to what first made you fall in love with riding.”
“Yep. So I don’t know how long I’ll continue competing, but I’m going to see how things are when we get back to North Carolina. Hopefully I’ll figure out what I want, once we’re back there and training again. Maybe I’ll realize I do miss it and I do love it.”
“I think that’s a good plan.” He nodded. “So tell me, Horse Girl, right now in this moment, what is it that you want?”
I stared into those beautiful green eyes that had always been my safe place.
My happy place.
“You want me to be honest.”
“Of course. We’ve always been honest with one another.”
I looked away for a pause, glancing out at the way the black water sparkled in certain spots where the moon was shining down on it.
“I know I have no right to ask this…” I cleared my throat.
“We’ve never stood on ceremony with one another. Tell me.”
“Well, right now, in this moment, I want to kiss you, Axel. Just one more time.”
He searched my gaze. “I don’t think a kiss can do any harm.”
“I know we’re rebuilding our friendship, and that’s important to me. But I’m desperate to feel something, because it’s been so long.”
“You want me to make you feel good, Wren?” he asked as his hands moved around my waist and pulled me closer.
“Yes.” It was a single word that came out far too breathy.
He rocked me against his erection, and my legs wrapped around his waist. “Take what you need, and tomorrow we’ll go back to working on our friendship.”
I chewed on the corner of my lip, knowing this was dangerous territory for us to enter. But the desire I felt was overpowering. I was desperate to kiss him. To touch him. I couldn’t stop myself even if I wanted to.
And I definitely did not want to.
My hands moved to his hair. I’d missed tugging on the ends. His fingers traced a path down my back in the most sensual way. We were both breathing heavy, our lips so close it would only take the slightest movement to bring us together.
“I missed everything about you,” I croaked.
The pain in my voice was impossible to miss.
“I’m here. Take what you need, Wren,” he said, his words strong and commanding.
And I stopped fighting it.
I leaned forward, my lips colliding with his.
It was as if the world stopped around us.
Hunger and desire and passion all taking over.
My lips parted as his tongue slipped inside, as if it belonged there.
It was frantic and needy, and very different from our first kiss.
Like we’d both die if we didn’t take what we needed.
My hips were rocking against him of their own volition, and I felt every long thick ridge of his dick. It was the hottest thing I’d ever experienced.
I humped him shamelessly, his hands moving to my hips as he slid me up and down his shaft. I wanted him to push for more, to slide my panties to the side, to drop his briefs and take me right here. Right now.
But he didn’t do that.
He let me just keep rubbing up against him like a horny teenager.
My head fell back as I pulled away briefly when my entire body started tingling. The feeling was so overwhelming that it was difficult to breathe. I’d never been so turned on in my life.
I gripped his shoulders, digging my nails into him harder.
My hips bucked relentlessly.
Faster.
Sliding up and down his thick erection.
“That’s it, baby. Keep grinding that pretty little pussy against my cock,” he grunted as he shifted me faster now. He had a filthy mouth, and I loved it. “I know you’re fucking soaked right now. Come for me now!”
I was panting as my hips rocked up and down.
Over and over.
My entire body started shaking. And then his head leaned down and he took one of my nipples between his lips, sucking right through the lace of my bra.
That was all it took.
Bright white lights exploded behind my eyelids, his name leaving my lips on a cry.
He flicked my nipple a few more times with the tip of his tongue as I continued rocking against him, until I’d ridden out every last bit of pleasure.
I fell forward against his shoulder, waiting for my breathing to slow, as he wrapped his big arms around me and held me close.
“You all right?” he whispered against my ear.
“Never better, Cowboy.”
And that was the damn truth.