Chapter 29
twenty-nine
. . .
Wren
“How do you feel about leaving?” Lulu asked as we sipped champagne at the bridal store for Henley’s final dress fitting.
She was in back getting her dress on as we waited for her to come out.
“I have mixed feelings,” I said. “I don’t like how I left things after the last competition. I want to face that, you know? And show people that I’m not afraid to ride my horse. But I’m also feeling more content than I’ve ever been since I’ve been home.”
“It’s temporary,” Eloise said, leaning her head on my shoulder. “You go back and you kick some ass, and when you’re no longer feeling the need to kick ass, you come home.” She paused and added, “But I’m going to miss you, Wren.”
“We are not doing that.” Emilia threw her hands in the air. “It is not goodbye. We’re going to see you soon. That’s it. I refuse to say goodbye. I just refuse to do it.”
I chuckled. “We don’t have to say goodbye. I hate goodbyes.”
“Shit. I feel like we’re sending our child off to summer camp, but she might be gone for years.
” Lulu stood and started pacing in a circle.
“And Rafe said the training and competitions are intense and that you’ll be working all the time.
So how the hell are we going to do book club now?
We’re too invested in you, Wren Waterstone. Too damn invested.” She sniffed.
“Oh my gosh. Are you crying? This is not good. We are not crying,” Emilia insisted as her bottom lip started to quiver. “And you said you could still do book club via FaceTime.”
“Did you just say ‘via’?” Lulu laughed as she wiped at the tears running down her cheek. “That’s so formal. ‘Via FaceTime.’”
Now we were all laughing, just as Henley walked out with Ellie by her side. Her mother was in Paris and would be coming for the wedding, but Ellie was like a second mother to Henley, and she’d come to all the fittings.
Henley was breathtaking. She wore a strapless princess-style gown. The bodice was fitted in white satin, and the bottom was a full tulle skirt that swished from side to side when she walked.
She came to a stop when we all gasped at the sight of her.
“Are you guys crying?” she asked, her voice laced with concern.
“You’re just really beautiful, Hen,” Lulu said, and we all swiped at our tears and moved toward her to take her in.
“You’re the most beautiful bride. I can’t believe I’m missing your wedding.” I shrugged as a few tears escaped my eyes, startling the hell out of me.
“You’ll be out there making us all proud, and I’ll be checking my phone as much as I can for updates.” Henley squeezed my hand. “I’m proud of you for putting yourself back out there, and wherever it leads, we will be cheering you on the whole way.”
“Thanks, guys.” I swiped my face and held her hand before stepping back to take her in.
“Let me get a picture of all of you together with Henley in her dress,” Ellie said. “That way we’ll have wedding pictures with you in them, too, Wren.”
I nodded, and we all stood around Henley as Ellie held up her phone.
“Say ‘Romance book club,’” Eloise said, and we all shouted out the words on a laugh.
“Say ‘Dirty romance is my favorite,’” Lulu said over her laughter. “Sorry, Ellie, I couldn’t help myself.”
“Don’t apologize on my behalf. I’ve been known to dip my toes in a few steamy reads myself,” she said, snapping a few more photos.
“Okay, I’m going to go get out of this dress, and then we can all go grab lunch.” Henley and Ellie went back into the dressing room area.
“Tell us about how things went with your brother,” Emilia said as we sat back down on the pink velvet sofa.
I reached for my glass of champagne and took a sip. “It went well. I mean, I’m not going to hold my breath. But he seemed genuine about wanting to fix things. It’s just hard for me to forgive the fact that his actions led to me and Axel not speaking for two years.”
“I’d like to junk punch that guy,” Lulu said. “Oh wait, did I say that out loud?”
“You sure did,” Eloise said with a big smile on her face. “Listen, it’s normal to be angry. I’ve dealt with betrayal before, and it’s not easy to let it go. But he is your brother, so some relationships are worth salvaging.”
“Agreed. But protect your heart,” Emilia said. “Have boundaries in place and just be cautious with him. Actions speak louder than words.”
“And a good kick in the balls speaks the loudest of all.” Lulu shrugged, then drank the last of her champagne before setting her glass down. “What does Axel say?”
“He supports whatever I want to do. It’s tricky,” I said. “My parents are getting divorced, Mom has temporarily moved to North Carolina, my dad is having a baby with another woman. It’s a lot. So Collin and I only have each other right now, you know?”
“I totally get that.” Eloise reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze. “Just keep some boundaries there.”
“Listen, I know firsthand that family can be tough. And oftentimes, friends feel more like family.” Emilia waited for me to meet her gaze, and I saw all the empathy there.
“But I also know that you can’t change people, so if your brother has a habit of lying to you and doing things that hurt you—you need to be aware of that. ”
“Agreed,” Lulu said. “I have dealt with pathological liars, and most of the time, from my experience, they will insist they’re going to change—but they’re lying about that, too.”
I knew that I wasn’t going to change my brother. But I also knew that he hadn’t always been like this, at least I didn’t think he had.
“I’m going to be cautious. But I also want to give him a chance to make things right. He called off his engagement, and he appears to really be working on himself.” I sighed. “So we’ll take it one day at a time.”
“You can decide whatever kind of relationship you want to have with him,” Eloise said. “Maybe you just have boundaries there, and you find your new normal.”
“Yeah, that’s a good plan,” Emilia agreed.
“And if worst comes to worst, kick him in the balls.” Lulu popped a few Jordan almonds in her mouth.
“I see Lulu is sharing her wisdom about physical violence,” Henley chuckled as she and Ellie came out to meet us.
“Hey, fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, you best cover your junk because I’m coming for you.” Lulu wrapped an arm around my shoulder when we all stood. “I just want you to be careful. And just know that we have your back. Always.”
“Always,” they all said in unison.
“Thank you,” I said. “Now let’s stop talking about my brother and go have lunch so we can talk about the wedding. That’s much more exciting.”
Because Emilia was right. Sometimes friends felt more like family than your actual family did.
And these girls—they definitely felt like family.
“I’m going to miss this bathtub,” I said as my head rested on his chest.
“You don’t have a tub at the training center?” Axel asked.
“Well, not in my room. There is a spa with a hot tub, and I do use that. Plus, you aren’t in the tub, so it wouldn’t be as fun.”
He laughed as his fingers interlaced with mine beneath the water. “I noticed a lot of scrapes and bruises on your legs tonight.”
“Yeah, I’m definitely increasing the training, and battle wounds come with the territory.”
“Your body has taken a beating for years. I’m sure it gets exhausting.” He hugged me tighter. “I’m glad I get to see you compete in your first competition back.”
“Me too. Thanks for going with me and arranging transportation for Wrax.”
“Are you kidding? I wouldn’t have it any other way.” He kissed the side of my neck. “And it means more time together.”
“It does. Plus you’ll meet Coach Sharky and a few of the athletes I’ve grown close to.”
“Looking forward to it, though I don’t like that your coach went behind your back to help your father,” Axel said.
“Me either. But the truth is, I’m not super dependent on him anymore. I’ve been doing this so long, I can do the workouts in my sleep. He just basically schedules my competitions and gives me advice here and there.” I shrugged.
“One day at a time, Horse Girl. Okay?” he whispered, and chill bumps covered my body as his lips grazed my ear when he spoke.
I turned over abruptly, the water splashing around us, but I wanted to look at him. “One day at a time.”
“I’ll be there as much as I can. And we can FaceTime every day, and time will fly.”
I smiled up at him. “You sound like you’re trying to convince yourself.”
“I’m already convinced. Just trying to ease your mind.”
“Listen, it’s a sport that doesn’t allow for a lot of outside time.
I know I won’t be able to come home often, and if this gets to be too much, you know, the waiting…
” I blew out a breath, knowing that it needed to be said.
“If it’s too much, and you meet someone and you find yourself interested in her because your girlfriend is living on the other side of the country, all I ask is that you tell me. ”
“Hey, hey,” he said, tipping my chin up so I could meet his gaze. “My girlfriend is the only girl for me. Even when she wasn’t dating me or speaking to me, I didn’t want anyone else. You are all I need. Do you believe that?”
I sniffed a few times, the lump in my throat growing. We were leaving tomorrow morning, and it was all hitting me.
This had been a fairytale. A break from my real life.
But reality was approaching, and I wasn’t ready.
“I believe that. I know you love me, Axel. It’s the one thing I’ve always known. Even when we weren’t speaking, I knew that you loved me. I just assumed you didn’t want a relationship back then.”
“And now?” he asked as he stroked my cheek with the tips of his fingers.
“And now I know you want a relationship. But I also know that being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t live near you or in your time zone can be challenging. It can be lonely. And I don’t want you to suffer if you aren’t happy.”
“And what about you, Wren? Do you not get lonely? Do you not suffer?” he asked.
“Of course I do.”
“Well, you don’t see me here telling you how to get out of this if you aren’t happy with the distance.
Because none of that shit matters. We spent two years apart and we were both miserable.
You and I belong together. This isn’t a casual thing for me.
I’m in it for the long haul. So if we have a few rough years in the grand scheme of a lifetime together, who fucking cares.
We’ll get through it. I’m not going anywhere. ”
I nodded as a few tears sprang free and ran down my cheeks. I didn’t know why I was feeling so emotional. Axel was going with me to North Carolina. We would be spending the next week together. Maybe it was because I was leaving Rosewood River.
These people who felt like family.
I hadn’t felt a contentment like this in many years.
And I wasn’t looking forward to leaving it.
“Baby, it’s going to be okay, I promise. And if you need me, I’ll be there. I can hop on a plane.” He nipped at my bottom lip. “Be there in a heartbeat, Horse Girl.”
“You’re running a company, Axel,” I said, chuckling and sniffing at the same time. “I want to be there for you, too. And I just hate that I won’t be there for the little things, you know?”
“Meh. I never cared much for the little things,” he said as he thrust up against me so I could feel how much he wanted me.
Nothing little about what’s pressing between my legs at the moment.
“I can handle the big stuff.”
That was all it took. He sprang up from the tub, taking me along with him, as water slushed over the sides, and my head fell back in laughter.
He wrapped me in a towel before quickly drying himself off and tying a towel at his waist. He scooped me up and carried me to the bed before dropping me with a whoosh. “I love how you look in my bed.”
“I love being in your bed.”
“That’s because you belong there,” he said before leaning down and kissing me hard.
And I knew he was right.
I did belong here.
This was home.
This house. This bed.
This man.