Chapter 33
thirty-three
. . .
Wren
We arrived in New York yesterday afternoon, and I was still not feeling well. It didn’t help that I’d missed my period, and my mind was reeling.
My dad and Chrissy were here, and my brother had shown up with them, which I hadn’t expected.
My mom had decided not to attend this competition, as she didn’t have any desire to spend the weekend with my father’s mistress turned fiancée.
“Are you feeling any better?” Jillian asked. She and I were rooming together this weekend. “I’m sure you’re exhausted. You’ve been pushing so hard, and then add in the fact that your entire family showed up—that’s stressful.”
I laughed. She knew what was going on with my family, and she’d always been someone I could open up to about this kind of stuff.
“I’m okay. Just a little under the weather.” I cleared my throat and then glanced up at her. “I’m a few days late on my period.”
Her eyes widened. “Well, you and your cowboy spent a lot of time in your cabin when he was here.”
I snorted. “We sure did. But that would really throw a wrench in things.”
“You could easily have missed your period because of the stress of training so hard. I miss mine all the time. I’m sure it’s nothing.”
“Yeah. I’m sure you’re right.” I chewed on my thumbnail.
“Listen, I know you’re going to meet your family now, and I’ve got some time. I’ll go grab you a pregnancy test, and I’ll leave it here in the room for you. I’ll stick it in your backpack, so when you come back, you can at least take the test for peace of mind.”
There was a knock on the door before I could reply to her, and I pulled it open to find Collin standing there.
“Hey, I thought we were meeting in the lobby.”
“I can’t be around those two alone, so I thought I’d come get you,” he said.
“Oh, okay,” I said, walking over to hug Jillian goodbye.
“I’ve got you. Go have fun.”
“Thank you. I’ll see you in a bit. We’re doing dinner tonight, right?”
“Yes. Looking forward to it,” she said.
I waved and headed out the door. I tried hard to push away all my anxiety, because I needed to get my head on straight for tomorrow. It was a big day. And I also needed to get in the right state of mind to deal with my father and Chrissy.
“Is it hard being away from Axel now that you two are together?” Collin asked as we took the elevator down to the lobby.
“I miss him so much, but we talk a lot, and that helps.”
“Are you happy, Wren?”
“That’s a pretty heavy question for an elevator ride,” I chuckled.
“I know.” He shrugged. “But I sometimes wonder if you ever really got to pick who you wanted to be. Or if it was just decided for you pretty early on, and obviously you’ve been thriving at life—but that doesn’t mean you’re enjoying it.”
We stepped off the elevator, but I came to a stop and turned to face him. “I’m very happy in my relationship. And I’m happy to have Wrax back. Those are the things I’m sure of. I’m still figuring out the rest.”
“I’m just going to say this to you, because you know I’ve been attending therapy weekly now, and it’s really helping.”
“Okay,” I said as I looked up at him.
“Dad is going to do what makes Dad happy. It’s who he is.
He’s our father and we love him, but he’s also a narcissist, which I’ve come to learn I am as well.
I don’t want to be,” he added, his smile forced.
“I’m working on it, Wren. I want to be better.
And we both know that it makes Dad happy when you win.
But he’s not the guy out there working himself to the bone.
He’s not the one taking a physical beating day after day.
He just likes to show up and brag, and treat you like you’re a trophy and not a human being.
And I’m here to tell you that life is short.
You’ve got nothing to prove to anyone. You deserve to be happy, Wren. You’re the best person I know.”
This was the Collin I’d grown up with.
Did I fully trust him yet? Absolutely not.
My brother could be the most supportive, caring guy on the planet, and then he could also be a manipulative, selfish asshole.
Apparently, both could be true.
“Thank you for saying that.” I nodded. “And thank you for being here.”
“I know I’ve got a lot of work to do, but I am trying, Wren.”
“I can see that. And I do appreciate it.”
“I know Easton and Henley are getting married tomorrow, and that’s why Axel isn’t here for this one, so I thought I could be here to cheer you on because I’m sure you also want to be there.”
“I wish I could be in both places at the same time.”
“You ready to go have lunch with Dad and our new stepmommy?” He smirked, making no attempt to hide his irritation.
To say I had a lot on my mind was an understatement. I was slightly consumed with the fact that I had a huge competition tomorrow, and I felt physically horrible, not to mention the fact that I was going to take a pregnancy test later.
But by all means, let’s have lunch with my father and Chrissy.
“No,” I chuckled. “But I think we’d better get over there.”
“Dad sent a text that they’re in the restaurant, and they’ve got a table,” he said as we made our way to where they were sitting.
After a quick greeting, Chrissy showed me a slew of photos of ideas for the nursery. They’d already moved into their new house, and my parents had just accepted an offer on my childhood home.
My mother was happy that the house had sold, as we had other homes that they were dividing up in their divorce settlement.
“Okay, that’s plenty of nursery pictures, honey,” my father said as he held up his whiskey glass for the server to bring him another.
We all quickly placed our orders.
“Are you ready for tomorrow, Wren?” Chrissy asked.
She was trying, and I struggled with it because they were going to have a child.
Another sibling. An innocent baby. But my father and Chrissy had betrayed my mother, so it made things very complicated.
I couldn’t turn off my feelings for my father, even if I was appalled by what he’d done.
Chrissy was a different story. So I tried to be polite, but I didn’t want to be here.
I really didn’t want to be here.
I resented my father for bringing her here.
For putting me in this position.
“Yep. I’m ready.” A wave of nausea hit me in that moment, and I reached for the sparkling water that I’d ordered and took a sip.
“The press has given Jacques Louise the edge over you, but they think you two will be pretty neck and neck. But I know you’ll come away with the win. We didn’t travel all the way here for second place.” He chuckled, but it rubbed me wrong.
We’d had conversations about this, about how he needed to stop pushing so hard—yet here we were again.
“I would assume you traveled here to support your daughter, regardless of the outcome. If that’s not the case, you should rethink coming in the future.” My tone came out much harsher than I expected, but I didn’t regret it.
My chicken sandwich arrived, and if the nausea hadn’t completely killed my appetite, the conversation had.
“Is it so wrong that I think my daughter is a winner?” he asked as he sliced into his steak.
Collin spoke up. “I don’t think it’s wrong that you think she’s a winner.
I think it’s wrong that you’re making it apparent that if she doesn’t win, your trip will have been wasted.
That’s really fucking wrong,” he said, and my eyes widened.
I’d never heard him speak to our father quite this sharply.
“What in the hell is going on with everyone lately?” he asked as he swirled his whiskey and took a long pull.
“Well, I already told you that our child is not going to do any competitive sports,” Chrissy said, and I couldn’t stop the laugh that sprang from my lips. “I just don’t think it’s healthy to be judged by how you perform.”
“I mean, seriously? You’re marrying a man who judges his own children by how they perform.” I continued laughing, and my brother joined in.
Our father narrowed his gaze and frowned before shrugging his shoulders. “How else would you judge someone if not by how they perform?”
“By how they live their life. How they treat people,” Chrissy said defensively, and my brother and I shared a glance.
They’d had an affair while my father was married. My mother was a friend of Chrissy’s. So I wasn’t quite sure where she was going with this.
“How about we focus on the reason we’re here, which is to support Wren, and all her hard work.” Collin winked at me.
He was definitely trying, and it meant something to me.
Dad didn’t heed my brother’s advice, and he continued to point out all of Jacques Louise’s weaknesses, which were incorrect. I’d competed against him several times, and he was a rock star. He was a decade older than me, and I’d admired him since I’d started riding competitively.
But I remained quiet, forcing myself to eat some lunch even though I wasn’t hungry.
My phone vibrated, and I smiled when I saw it was Axel. He was on West Coast time, and I hadn’t spoken to him yet this morning. I knew today would be busy with the rehearsal dinner and the wedding tomorrow. I excused myself to use the restroom, then stood off in the hallway as I texted him.
Cowboy
Hey, Horse Girl. How are you feeling?
Better now that I’m hearing from you.
Cowboy
Where are you?
Lunch with my father, Collin, and Chrissy.
Cowboy
Oh, good times, huh?
Chrissy is not going to let their baby play competitive sports, and my father lives for competitive sports, so this ought to be very interesting. LOL.
Cowboy
Are they treating you well?
Yes. Everyone is fine.
Cowboy
How’s your stomach? Are you feeling better?
I definitely think I’ve got a little bug, but I’m doing all right.
I chewed the edge of my thumbnail as I thought about that pregnancy test back in the room.
I was not going to freak out Axel, when it was most likely negative.
His entire family was preparing for the wedding, and I wanted him to have a good time this weekend and not worry about me.
And feeling run down was not unusual in my sport.
Cowboy
I hate that I’m not going to be there this weekend.
Do not give this a thought. I’m going to be busy competing and napping in between events. You’ve got your whole family there. That’s where you need to be.
Cowboy
Everyone is missing you, baby. But I’m missing you the most.
I’m missing you more. Can we FaceTime tonight before I go to sleep?
Cowboy
Of course. I’ll sneak away during dinner and call you.
All right. I better get back to the table. I love you.
Cowboy
Love you, baby. And remember, you just leave it all out there tomorrow. It doesn’t fucking matter where you rank or any of that bullshit. You and Wrax just have fun and kick some ass.
That’s exactly what I intend to do.
I made my way back to the table just as they were paying the check, and I was surprised to see Coach Sharky standing there.
“Hey, Coach, what are you doing here?” I asked.
“I came to see how you’re feeling. I’ve got a doctor on call if you need to get checked out. Apparently, two athletes tested positive for strep throat,” he added, and I could see the concern.
He wanted me to perform at my best. This sport was tough on a good day. But when you weren’t feeling well, it could be brutal.
“I’m feeling okay at the moment. I think I’m just going to go upstairs and rest for a little bit,” I said before hugging everyone goodbye as Coach walked with me to the elevators.
“I’m going to have the doctor come swab your throat just to be safe, all right? If it’s strep, we want to get you on antibiotics as quickly as possible,” he insisted as he pulled out his phone and texted someone who I assumed was the doctor.
“Okay. I’ll be in my room.”
I didn’t have a sore throat, and I didn’t think I had strep, but I wasn’t going to fight him on it, because he could be relentless when he wanted something done.
But I suddenly felt very anxious about taking the test that Jillian had gotten me. She sent me a text to let me know she’d tucked it in my backpack, as we’d agreed.
I got to the room and pulled it out, then quickly read the instructions.
I peed on the stick before pacing around in a circle nervously. I shoved the box in my backpack to hide it, just in case anyone came to our room while we were here. It was the longest three minutes of my life.
The timer on my phone went off and I read the results, and my chest tightened as I looked down at the stick in my hand.
A knock on the door startled me, and I quickly wrapped the stick in several layers of toilet paper and dropped it in the trash can.
I hurried to the door and let the doctor in to swab my throat.
But my mind was reeling as I sat in the chair and opened my mouth as wide as I could, while he ran a long Q-tip around the back of my throat in a circular motion.
I realized in that moment that my life had already changed.
I wasn’t the same girl who’d left for Rosewood River just a few months ago.
My future was finally starting to come into focus.