Chapter 36
thirty-six
. . .
Axel
Photographers were rushing around Wren and Wrax, and I stood back. Coach Sharky and her father managed to get themselves in most of the shots.
The rain was still coming down hard, and her dark eyes found mine through the downpour. Just like they always did.
She’d done it.
My girl was the biggest badass I’d ever known. When she set her mind to something, she didn’t let anything or anyone deter her.
She’d gotten her mojo back.
She had nothing else to prove to anyone. I saw it in the smile that had spread across her face as she sailed over the final jump.
I unzipped the front pocket of her backpack to find the phone I’d tossed in there, as I could hear it ringing. My family was on standby, waiting to hear from me. When I dug inside, I noticed a small, rectangular box. I turned it slowly and saw the red letters across the front.
A pregnancy test.
I stared for a long moment, my heart thudding against my chest.
A mix of hope and fear.
Hope that Wren was carrying my child and fear that she didn’t want to be pregnant. Why hadn’t she told me about it?
I shook off the feeling. This was not the time or place to make assumptions.
I zipped the front pocket of the backpack and pulled out my phone just as the score was announced, and it was clear that Wren had won.
I sent a quick text in the family group chat letting them all know.
She was surrounded by people, but that didn’t stop her from sliding off Wrax and asking Coach Sharky to hold the reins as she ran toward me. She jumped into my arms, and I spun her around.
“You’re so fucking amazing,” I whispered against her ear. “No fear, baby. Just fierce and strong out there, doing your thing. Not for anyone but you.”
She slid down my body, and I set her on her feet as she leaned her head back and let the rain fall against her pretty face.
“You saw all that, huh?” she asked.
“Damn straight.”
“Will you come with me and finish up the photos, and then we can sneak away after? I need to talk to you.”
I did a slow nod. “Of course. And you know that whatever you want to talk to me about, I’ve got you, right?”
Because it didn’t matter. If Wren was pregnant, I’d be happy. If she wasn’t and she wanted to continue competing for years, I’d be just as happy.
Because when we were together, I felt complete in a way that I’d never understood until now.
This was love.
We’d been through the ups and downs, and we’d found our way back.
So we’d keep fighting. No matter the obstacle.
“Same, Cowboy. I’ve got you, too.” She smiled as her fingers interlaced with mine.
We made our way back over for more celebrating and photos and questions.
Athletes and fans came up to congratulate her.
People were not running for cover, almost like they were aware that they’d just witnessed something rare.
Something special.
The rain finally slowed, and Wren asked if I would take Wrax to his stall so he could eat and drink and rest. She needed just a few minutes with Coach Sharky and her father.
Her brother was there to congratulate her and then took Chrissy inside to get dry.
I nodded as I led him out of the crowd and took him to his stall. I made sure he had food and water, and I patted him down, congratulating this badass horse for all that he’d just accomplished.
I’d seen multiple falls today, and several slips, and every other rider had received a time penalty, aside from Wren and Wrax.
This horse might’ve been considered a senior horse in this sport, but he was fierce and strong, just like the woman who’d ridden him to victory.
“Hey.” Wren’s voice called from behind me.
“Hi. Everything good? Do you want to get back to the room so you can get some dry clothes on?”
She shook her head no. “I have to tell you something.”
“Is it about the pregnancy test I saw in your backpack?”
She winced. “I forgot I tucked the box in there.”
“Were you afraid to tell me?”
She chuckled as a wide grin spread across her face. “Not even a little. I’m not pregnant, Axel.”
I was surprised at the disappointment that settled in my chest, but I nodded and made sure my features gave nothing away. “All right. I’d be fine if you were.”
“I know you would.”
“So why didn’t you tell me?” I asked.
“Well, I just took the test two days ago, and even though it was negative, it gave me a lot of clarity, and that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“What kind of clarity?” I asked, moving closer to her.
“I thought I would feel relieved that it was negative, but I didn’t. I felt disappointed, sad even. And I realized in that moment that I’m not where I want to be.”
“Where do you want to be, baby?”
“I’m glad I came back. I’m glad I’m leaving on a positive note.
Wrax and I were never afraid of competing.
We were just done with this chapter of our lives.
I knew it when I went out there today. I love riding.
I love this sport. But I also want to have a life. I want to wake up with you every day.”
“Wren, if this is about me, I will sell the business and move to North Carolina, if that’s what you need.”
“It’s not, though. I’m tired of competing and the pressure and the travel and even the training.
I’m proud of what we’ve accomplished. But I want to just ride my boy with you and Honey.
I want Sunday dinners and date nights. I want to go to book club with my friends and attend weddings and birthday parties.
I want a life. One that isn’t affected by a bad day of competition.
I’m happy with where I am. I’ve lived this chapter and I’ve enjoyed it, but it’s time to walk away. ”
I placed a hand on the side of her neck. “I get that. You’ve been doing this for years. You’ve accomplished so much.”
“Yeah. I know some people won’t understand, and that’s okay. I can’t keep living my life for other people. I want to start living it for me.”
I tipped her head back and kissed her.
When she pulled back, she smiled up at me. “I’m so glad you were here to see this. Because it felt very final, and I wanted you to be with me when I walked away.”
“I’ll always be with you.” I stroked her cheek. “And when you said you wanted to attend weddings, did you mean other people’s or ours?”
“Both.” She chuckled. “You can put a ring on it whenever you want, Cowboy. I already know that you’re my forever.”
“Good answer, baby.” I gave her a chaste kiss. “How did Coach Sharky and your dad take it?”
“As expected. Because they forgot that this was about me and not about them. But they’ll be fine eventually. They need time to let it sink in.” She shrugged.
“Proud of you,” I said.
“Yeah? I’m actually proud of me, too. Now how about you take me back to the room and we take a shower, put on warm clothes, and order room service?”
“I’m on board with all of it, aside from the clothing. How about shower. No clothes. Room service.”
“Done.” Her head fell back with a laugh as she walked toward Wrax and gave him one more hug, right before his caregivers whisked him away for a nice rubdown. “We’re going home, boy. And we can ride as far as we want to every day. You and me.”
“I swear it looked like you were both smiling when you came across that final jump.”
“Yeah? I think we were.”
Her fingers interlaced with mine, and we closed the door to the stall and made our way back through the hotel.
We were stopped by dozens of people as fans and athletes congratulated Wren.
I just stood back, allowing all that light to shine on her.
My Horse Girl.