Chapter 36
chapter thirty-six
Audrey
Today's vocabulary word: restraint
The door to our room was barely closed when we tore into each other. My dress was up, off, flying over my head as I wrenched his belt open and ripped at the buttons on his shirt.
Jude had the clear advantage here, seeing as I had just one primary piece of clothing for him to contend with, and this gave him a lot of time to pinch my nipples through my bra. Then again, maybe the advantage was mine.
"Come here," he growled at the same time as I fought with the last few buttons, saying, "Just let me finish!"
He abandoned my nipples to yank the shirt over his head. Before I could comment on that, he spun me around to face the wall. "It's cute that you think I have the patience to stand here while you politely undo every button. Just fucking adorable."
He grabbed the band of my bra, jerking me back just enough that my backside connected with his hard shaft.
The way he groaned into my shoulder lit up everything inside me.
I rocked against him and his hips answered with a ragged, rutting pace.
He wrapped an arm around my waist, holding me in my place while he growled, while he kissed and nipped at my neck.
"Fuck, Audrey, what are you doing to me?"
Maybe it was strange to say that I was proud of myself for turning him on and making him feral but I was proud. It'd been a long time since sex had been a mutual exchange of pleasure. Since it'd been fun. And it'd been even longer since I'd felt desirable and worth being desired.
"What do you want me to do?" I asked.
Jude dragged his fingers up my spine and with a quick flick, had my bra flying to the floor. My panties were quick to follow. "Anything, baby. Anything at all."
I flattened my hands on the wall as he ran a hand down to my waist and over my backside.
Then lower. With that broad palm and those incredible fingers of his, he cupped me between my legs in a manner I could only describe as vulgar.
Rude, even. Like this was the only part of me that existed and he'd do with it as he pleased.
He dragged a finger down my slit. It was wet. Audibly so. The noise he made was—oh. Oh, yes. That was when I recognized his touch as vulgar and rude but more than any of that, it was possessive.
And he confirmed it when he delivered a fast, hard slap to my mound and growled, "Tonight, this belongs to me."
No one would think to call me sexy or sensual. I wasn't coy. I didn't know how to say seductive things. Any attempts at being naughty usually resulted in significant embarrassment for all involved.
It came as an epic shock when I reached back, gripped his shaft through his pants, and said, "And this belongs to me."
I couldn't even believe I'd managed to speak with him slapping my pussy. Let alone claiming his cock for myself. I'd never, ever manage such a flawless response ever again.
With a hand tangled in my hair, he said, "We're in agreement."
He scooped me up, carried me the last few steps to the bed, and set me down on the edge. A lamp glowed from the dresser but otherwise the room was dark. It felt right. Comfortable. The last thing I wanted was every light in the room shining on my bare skin.
Stepping between my parted legs, he brushed some hair away from my face and over my shoulder. His belt was long gone and I'd managed to open the button but that was it as far as his bottom half went.
"You're so fucking beautiful." The words rushed out in a huff. "Do you even understand that?"
I pushed his pants and boxers down just enough to reach inside and wrap my hand around him. His head dropped back as he growled out a groan and that silly, stupid pride of mine exploded. I was positive there was nothing I couldn't do.
I shimmied the pants and boxers down the rest of the way and then dragged my tongue over the head of his cock. I heard him pull in a broken breath and I felt his entire body pull tight but I was too busy teasing him between my lips to pay much attention.
He gripped my hair as I sucked him deeper, twisting it around his palm as he murmured Yes and Baby, please and What are you fucking doing to me?
I liked that last one a lot.
I couldn't take him very deep without feeling like I was going to gag.
Since I really didn't want to gag, I kept it shallow while stroking him from the base to my lips.
He dropped his free hand to my shoulder and then slid it up to my neck.
He held me like that, his palm on my throat, his fingers at my nape, and his thumb pressed to my cheek.
I didn't know if he could feel himself through my cheek but I liked the idea that he could.
"This," he ground out, "isn't what I had in mind for us. But I can't bring myself to stop. Goddamn. You're so fucking good at this." I peered up at him as I pulled him deep, as I hollowed out my cheeks. "Oh, fuck, look at you. Just fucking look at you."
When my fist connected with his base on the next stroke, he curled a hand around my wrist, holding me in place.
He took a step back, retreating from my mouth only far enough for his cockhead to rest between my lips.
He pointed to the bed and let out a harsh, wild sound that probably made the neighbors wonder what kind of animal I had in here.
I scrambled to the middle of the mattress. Did not even care how I looked doing it.
The bed had already been turned down by the housekeeping service. That made it easier to peel back the blankets but then I was there, waiting with nothing but the need thrumming through me while Jude stared from beside the bed.
"I know I need to get a condom," he said eventually. "I keep telling myself you'll be right there when I come back but I don't believe it yet."
I held out a hand to him. "You don't need a condom. I can't get pregnant."
"You're sure?"
I didn't know which part of this he was questioning but the answer was the same either way. "Yes, and if you don't get over here, I'm going to assume it's because you don't actually want—"
He was on me, his hips anchoring me to the mattress and his cock a hot brand on my belly. He kissed my neck, my shoulders, my lips. "You're sure?" he repeated. "Obviously, you can change your mind at any time but—"
"Yeah, I'm sure," I said, dragging a foot up the back of his thigh. "And I promise I won't flee to the bathroom if your phone rings."
He dropped his head between my breasts, laughing. "If you do, I'm following you in there this time."
I canted my hips until I felt him between my legs, the perfect pressure and weight of his cock throbbing against me.
He reached between us, taking his shaft in hand and holding himself at my entrance.
I shifted a bit, pinning my knees to his waist. It was all I could do to keep myself from shouting, Give it to me now.
"I want to hear you say it again," he rasped, his fingers around the base of his cock. "Tell me you want this."
"I wanted you to follow me into the bathroom," I said all at once. "Into the shower. I should've—I don't know. I shouldn't have put the pillow between us because we could've been doing this all week and—"
Apparently, that was all he needed to hear because he snapped his hips forward and pushed into me with one blinding thrust that robbed the breath from my lungs.
He was impossibly thick, so much more than I remembered, and I could barely think beyond the hot, blissful fullness.
I felt him everywhere, filling me, pushing past all my limits.
I couldn't even take a deep breath without being aware of him inside me.
I wanted to tell him that. I wanted him to know I felt him in my chest, in the back of my throat. And that I wanted more.
"I can hear you thinking, princess," he said. "What do you need? Should I lick those sweet nipples? Bite them?"
"It wouldn't hurt."
His brow arched. "It will if I want it to."
He pushed up on an elbow as he rocked into me.
I brought my hand to his bicep to feel the flex of his muscles with each thrust. He leaned in then, sucking one nipple between his lips while pinching the other.
My inner muscles rippled in response, clamping around his shaft so hard it stole my breath for a second.
I shoved my fingers through his thick hair, saying, "That didn't hurt at all."
"Sometimes I can't believe you're real and you're here." He gave a dark chuckle against my breast before pinning my nipple between his teeth.
I raked my fingers through his hair, holding him close to me while I bucked beneath him. "I can't believe we're here."
Every thrust seemed to take me apart, brick by brick. It was careful. Deliberate. I was about to fall apart but he wasn't breaking me and there was a difference. I hadn't known it until right now and I didn't think I'd be able to do this again without thinking about it.
And I wanted to do that to him too. To dismantle him. And then build something brand new.
"I can't believe how fucking good you feel," he said. "I just— Fuck, Audrey. Fuck."
He pumped into me and then pulled all the way out, and with both hands anchored on my waist, he rolled us over. "Ohhhhh my god," I said, my hands braced on his chest.
"Come on now," he said, lightly slapping the side of my ass. "Don't keep me waiting. It's not polite."
I didn't waste any time sinking down over him. I couldn't. Not when my body was busy humming a chant of Get there get there get there and he was staring up at me like this was the only thing in the world he wanted. And I loved being on top. It was the only position that worked for me every time.
"I don't know what you mean," I said as I worked to find the right rhythm. He was so thick and I was so out of practice. "I'm very polite."
He kept both hands on my waist as he thrust up into me. His thumbs pressed into the crease of my thigh. This angle, that pressure, and the complete fullness of feeling him everywhere, it was just about enough for me.
"Yes, you are, baby," he drawled. "That's why you're gonna come on my cock now."
"What if I'm not ready?"
He tipped his head back, leaving his throat exposed as he swallowed. "You feel really fucking ready."
He met every rock of my hips, every hard grind into him with relentless thrusts that sent pleasure spiraling through my body. "What if I want more?"
"Then I'll fuck you straight all night long," he said. "You should know by now I'll give you anything you want, even if it's the heart I carved out of my chest."
And that was the last brick.
I fell forward onto Jude's chest as a wave of spasms moved through my body and had me panting out an unintelligible series of please yes more now.
Shooting stars flared behind my eyes and everything inside me seemed to unravel.
He shifted to band his arms around my back, holding me steady as I shattered.
"Good?" He went right on hammering into me, working every gloriously sated ounce of me while I sprawled across his chest like a well-fucked starfish.
"Good," I mumbled. A moment later, I felt the roar building in his chest before I heard it.
In a distant, foggy sense, I was aware that Jude was speaking to me. Growling, perhaps. I knew he'd wrapped his arms around my torso and held me tight as he came though I couldn't focus on anything beyond the wonderful pulsing heat in my core.
It was so much. So very much. And he must've known I couldn't bear this, not all of it at once, because Jude rolled us to the side and tucked a pillow under my head.
He stroked my back as I shook and gasped.
It took a few minutes to fully catch my breath but when I did, I realized he was still inside me.
My thighs and abdomen were drenched in our orgasms. He was a mess too, if we were taking stock.
"Wow," I whispered, touching a finger to my lips. All of a sudden I was exhausted. I could fall asleep right here and I wouldn't stir once.
"Yeah, I'd say so." He rubbed my nape and shoulders, I wanted to cry at how good it felt. "You're cold," he said.
"Not really." It would've been believable if the air conditioning hadn't clicked on at that moment and sent a shiver down my spine.
Jude kissed my forehead. "I can't reach the blankets unless I pull out."
"And you don't want to do that?"
He stared at me for a beat. "I don't want this to end."
I kissed the corner of his mouth. "What if we press pause for a minute? I can go to the bathroom, you can grab the blankets and get us some water. Then we'll come back and start again."
He tucked some hair over my ear. "You want that?"
"Yeah." Another shiver shook through me. "Think we can do that?"
It took a second but the corner of his mouth kicked up in a grin. He slapped my backside, saying, "Hurry up, Saunders. I'll be waiting for you."
Once I'd peed and cleaned up as much as possible, and the bedding was straightened, we slipped back under the covers. I nestled into his chest, my head under his chin and our legs twined together. He drew circles down my side and kissed my temple and forehead over and over.
I didn't let myself think much of it before asking, "Did you know I was at Pepperdine when you transferred to Caltech?"
"Yeah." He said this like it was more than obvious.
"Why didn't you tell me? We could've—I don't know—talked. Or something. You should've told me."
He leaned back to meet my eyes. He peered at me, his brows bunched tight like he didn't understand the question. Then, "I couldn't do that because of the restraining order, Audrey."