Chapter 43
chapter forty-three
Audrey
Today's vocabulary word: gathered
Jude: something urgent came up
Jude: I'll call you in a few days when things settle down
Jude: I'm sorry
Jamie's message read We're going to brunch. Don't make me come to your house and drag you along.
It'd been a week since Emme's wedding—and the last I'd heard from Jude—and without the nonstop parties and preparations to keep me busy, I had to create my own distractions.
I'd tested six new bread recipes, planned out my first full month of lessons, and brought home a new foster dog.
Through it all, I somehow found the time to check my phone every few minutes on the off chance I'd missed a call or message from Jude.
I told myself there was a perfectly good explanation for his abrupt departure and the silence that'd followed, but as the days ticked by I felt those threads of certainty slipping through my fingers.
Since I knew better than to call Jamie's bluff, I set up Bagel the beagle with some peanut butter-flavored busywork and hopped a train into the city.
I found Jamie and Ruth on the sidewalk outside the restaurant, deep into an animated conversation. I loved that they both talked with their entire bodies.
"About ten more minutes until our table's ready," Jamie said by way of a greeting. She held up a timer on her phone. "I feel like I haven't seen you in a year."
"It's only been a few days," I said.
"But time is weird in the summer," she said. "There's so much of it but then it's over before it even gets started."
"The closest I come to a summer break is leaving the office before sunset on Fridays," Ruth said.
"You make five times as much as we do and no one wipes their nose on your skirt," Jamie said.
Ruth pointed at her. "Valid."
Once we were seated inside the restaurant and had a team strategy for ordering that covered a wide portion of the menu, Jamie clasped her hands on the table and swung a knowing glance between me and Ruth. "I've gathered you both here today because we are overdue for a debrief," she said.
Ruth snapped her menu shut. "What are we debriefing?"
I shot a grin at the woman beside me. I liked that she was brash. That she didn't seem to worry about offending anyone. She didn't let herself get caught up in niceties or careful phrasing when blunt truth got the job done. I could learn something from her.
"Yes, I'm wondering the same," I said.
Jamie arched her brows and went on staring with that universal teacher death glare that said I'm waiting for you to do the right thing. Don't make me remind you what that is.
I probably deserved to be called into confession after the whirlwind I'd kicked up last weekend. No part of it had been subtle and that was a big departure from the role I usually played in this group.
I caught Ruth's eye and read the Please don't call on me energy there plain as day. "I suppose I can go first," I said.
"I'd love that," Jamie said. "Please go into great detail on the part where you disappeared for the duration of the cocktail hour and came back looking as though you'd been ridden like a prize pony."
"I did not look like—"
"Your hair was half out of the updo and you had beard burn on your face, neck, and décolletage," Jamie said. "Don't even get me started on the condition of your dress, which, I mean, best wishes to your dry cleaner on that chore."
"What's a décolletage?" Ruth asked.
"Okay, but pony? Really?" I asked.
"Sure, I'll just look it up for myself," Ruth said.
"I did say prize pony," Jamie said. "Also, I'd like an update on your missing rider.
What happened to Daddy Fiancé? Why didn't he come back to the party with you?
Please tell me you fucked him silly and he needed fluids and oxygen to recover.
Where is he now? Is he waiting for you in bed, chained to a headboard?
Please say yes." She tossed her long dark hair over her shoulder.
"Please explain what's happening with you two now.
And when will you admit that I was right about him all along? "
I reached for my mimosa and drained it in two gulps.
My body would hate me for it later but my head would appreciate it now.
"I wanted to show him around the tulip farm," I said.
"As you know, we hadn't talked since the week before, and I love the farm so much and I just wanted a minute away from everything.
We ended up over by all the sunflowers and"—I turned my gaze downward and scraped my nail along the hem of my shorts until I could form the words—"and we had a moment there. Against the side of the barn."
"What kind of moment?" Ruth asked.
"Yeah, what are we talking about here?" Jamie asked. "I don't know how anyone ends up looking as thoroughly fucked as you did without taking a serious pounding."
I glanced at the tables surrounding us, praying they hadn't heard that comment. "He, you know," I said, the words barely audible as I gestured to my lap.
"I admire a guy who sees opportunities to enjoy a slice of pie in the most unlikely of moments," Jamie said. "It takes maturity to put your interests first."
"Then we"—I flapped a hand quite pointlessly—"and that's what happened."
"Against the barn? As in outside?" Ruth asked. "During cocktail hour? When people were wandering around the grounds?"
I nodded as I refilled my mimosa. My cheeks burned like a fever.
"It's always the quiet ones who turn out to be truly devious," Jamie said, wagging a finger at me. "I knew there was a reason I liked you."
"Yeah, well, he left right after that," I said.
"Talk about dine and dash," Jamie muttered.
"That's lewd," Ruth said. "I love it."
"But why did he leave?" Jamie asked. "We're missing something here."
"I went back inside and he took a call, and I couldn't find him after that." The words felt like rust in my mouth. "He sent me a text saying something urgent came up and…he left. I haven't heard from him since."
Ruth and Jamie exchanged deep frowns and furrowed brows.
"That's…odd," Ruth said.
"Very odd," Jamie said. "I'm guessing you've tried to contact him since last weekend?"
"Yep," I said, polishing off another mimosa.
"I've called a couple of times. No answer, no call back.
I've sent messages. No response. It's not even showing that he's read the last few messages.
" I set the glass down instead of refilling it.
"I don't know if I should keep calling or just… stop trying altogether."
"A week is a long time to go silent. Right?" Ruth asked, glancing between us. "Even if he's in the middle of a shitstorm, it's not that hard to send a text saying I'm all right and I'll get back to you in a bit."
"Unless he's secretly Superman, he has time to text you back," Jamie said.
"Since you'd probably know about his superhero identity, let's assume it's something else.
He does have a kid with special needs and a mom who just got through breast cancer.
And he flew in on a red-eye flight to be your date to this wedding, and the minute he could get you alone, he served it up hot and fresh.
I'm trying to add those things up but my calculator keeps turning into a Magic 8 Ball and telling me to ask again later. I don't know what to say, baby girl."
"Neither do I." Rubbing my temples, I asked, "What if he's ghosting me? Maybe this is his passive-aggressive way of saying he's done." That it was my turn to be the one left wondering what'd happened.
Ruth and Jamie shared another loaded glance. Jamie motioned to her, asking, "Would you care to tackle this one?"
"I'll give it a shot." Ruth laced her fingers together and stretched out her arms. Cleared her throat, sipped her iced coffee.
Then, "Did you miss the part where we talked about him hauling his ass across the country to see you?
And then immediately shoving his head under your dress because he was so thirsty? "
"I hear what you're saying," I said, "but also—"
"But you're not playing at that level," Ruth cut in. "If I hooked up with someone last weekend and he wasn't replying to my texts, I'd assume he was done because that's the field we're playing on. Hypothetically speaking. I didn't hook up with anyone. You did and you're nowhere near that level."
They just didn't understand. They didn't know the ins and outs of my history with Jude, everything we'd been through and the long, complicated mess of it all. They just saw a sweet guy who made time to see me and the rest was a case of bizarre but harmless hiccups.
I knew better. I knew what was really going on here.
"She's right," Jamie said. "She's also lying and I don't mean that hypothetically because she definitely hooked up with someone."
"What?" I whirled on Ruth. "Who?"
"This is all news to me," Ruth said.
"The secret benefit of being on heavy-duty antibiotics during the whole wedding weekend was that I was sober enough to keep noticing when y'all disappeared and who else was missing at the same time.
" Jamie's feline grin was a little scary.
"And I know that you, Miss Ruthie Ralston, were absent from the cocktail hour and the bouquet toss, and only appeared for the last twenty minutes of the newlywed brunch the next day. "
Ruth straightened her silverware. After a beat, she said, "The line for the bathroom was outrageous."
"Must've been a nightmare," Jamie drawled. "Be a lamb and remind me who else was missing from those same events, please."
"I wouldn't know," Ruth said, her gaze still fixed on the tabletop. "I had to take a few work calls during the reception. I missed a lot of things that night."
"Makes sense," Jamie said. "I can see how you'd need to handle urgent work matters on the Saturday evening of your brother's wedding. Totally understandable."