Chapter 49 #2
"I'm sure we could try." I dropped the ball of dough into the proofing bowl and covered it. "I haven't thought too much about Christmas baking yet."
"Maybe we could make them and you could post a video of us baking together."
I nearly dropped the bowl. Surely he didn't mean a blog video.
He couldn't. And why would he? That was just my imagination shifting into hyperspeed.
He was talking about a parent filming their kid doing something cute and calling it a movie.
That was all. "Tell me more about that. What kind of video? "
"You can take a video when we make the tree cakes together. I'll help you and everyone can see. All the people would love that post."
My eyes were prepared to blink their way out of my skull.
But, wait. There was no way Percy was watching videos from my baking blog. That simply was not possible. First of all, he was a child. A child with an internet connection, obviously, but he wasn't on there looking up seedy multigrain bread recipes. He simply was not.
I was being jumpy. That was all. Paranoid for no reason. If I let myself, I could lose entire months to pointless paranoia. I'd wasted the whole year after my divorce worrying about my husband jumping out of a closet and dragging me back to California.
I left the bowl on the far corner of my counter designated for bread proofing and dumped the roasted squash into another bowl now that it was cool. I handed Percy a masher and put the squash in front of him.
"Do you like baking videos?" I asked.
The masher held in one hand like a sword, he typed out his response. "Daddy and I watch them all the time."
"Yeah? Do you have any favorites?"
He started mashing, giggling at the squelching sounds the squash made. "Just your videos."
I stumbled back a step, gripping the edge of the counter for balance. "My videos?"
He glanced up at me, a few specks of squash on his glasses. Nodding, he responded, "We watch all your videos. If Daddy is away when a new one comes out, he saves it for when he's home and we can watch it together."
I felt cold and hot all at once. There was some static in my head and I had to work hard at swallowing. I really would've preferred the paranoia.
"Daddy tried to make your apples but it didn't come out good."
Nodding, I pushed off the counter and started tossing ingredients in the mixing bowl for the cinnamon roll dough. It helped that I could do this without thinking.
"Maybe he used the wrong kind of apples," Percy went on. "I didn't tell him because he was sad they were so mushy."
"That happens sometimes." I added a cup of squash to the mix. I should've weighed it. I always weighed my ingredients when testing recipes but I couldn't focus on anything other than the fact that Jude and Percy followed my blog. They watched my videos. They'd tried my recipes.
And in all the time we'd spent together this month, Jude hadn't mentioned a word of it to me.
"Daddy says you're the—" The robotic voice cut out and I glanced at Percy to find him glowering at the screen. He sighed and lifted his hands, one above his head and the other over his belly.
I knew what that sign meant immediately. "Oh. Yes. Ballerina," I said. "I am. I was." He signed something but I wasn't sure if I understood. "Why? Does this mean why?"
I gave my best imitation of the sign and his face lit up in a toothy smile as he nodded.
"I used to be a ballerina," I said simply. "I'm not anymore."
I switched on the mixer as he signed and then used his tablet to ask, "Why not?"
"Before I answer that deeply personal question, let me ask you something, my friend. Will you help me learn how to sign? You can use the app to tell me the words and then show me the sign."
His tablet read, "Yes," as he signed it.
"Just like that," I said. "I was a ballerina when I was in high school. I loved dancing very much but then some things changed. I didn't want to dance anymore."
"Do you still love it?"
"Yes," I said automatically.
He dragged his teeth over his bottom lip as he tapped the screen and I worried he'd ask some intense follow-up questions that I didn't have the heart to answer. "Can we bake tree cakes and make a video together?"
Profound self-analysis averted for another day. "We'll have to ask your dad first and if it's okay with him, we can research some recipes and give it a try."
"He'll say yes," he responded. "I know it. He loves your videos a lot."
Yeah, apparently.
Audrey: guess who showed up at my door last night
Jamie: I'll play this game but only if the answer is Daddy Fiancé
Ruth: yeah same
Ruth: though I've been at work since before the sun was up this morning so I'd still play along even if it's just an obnoxious dude selling solar panels who asked to speak to the "man of the house"
Jamie: I also need the answer to be that you need our help picking out a new mattress today because Fiancé railed you right through the old one last night
Audrey: it was Jude
Audrey: and his son
Audrey: …and they showed up when Brecken was dropping me off after getting together for dinner
Jamie: I'm listening
Ruth: please tell me you didn't let him inside without a very good explanation for ghosting you
Audrey: his son's grandmother had a bad accident in the kitchen. The whole story is a hot mess but basically, she broke a few bones, burned her arm, and will need a lot of rehab before transitioning to assisted living for dementia care. And the house is toast.
Jamie: oh shit
Ruth: okay fair enough
Audrey: his son witnessed the whole thing and is slightly traumatized because the place was full of smoke from whatever happened with the stove and he couldn't help Grandma out of the house because her hip was broken and other stuff that was all confusing in big ways to a kid
Jamie: that's rough
Ruth: okay but wait. Fiancé couldn't even shoot you a text to say he was alive, some personal shit went down, and he'd talk more later? Not once in 3 weeks?
Jamie: yeah, put me down for that question too
Audrey: believe me, I know
Audrey: the hot new problem on the block is that Percy's mom's best friend wants to take over Grandma's visitation since Grandma won't be sharing custody if she's moving to assisted living
Jamie: no, I don't enjoy that at all
Ruth: family law is not my area but I have questions
Ruth: it would be one thing if we were talking about a temporary switcheroo but it doesn't sound like that's the situation
Audrey: not temporary at all and this friend has been angling for custody for years
Ruth: angling because she knows Grandma will leave us at some point?
Audrey: that and she doesn't like Jude. She told Percy he could come live with her if he wanted.
Jamie: what a helpful thing to say to a small child
Ruth: I want to support all women but sometimes they make it hard on me
Audrey: as you can see, he's had his hands full
Jamie: one thing that's annoying about me is that I can see everyone's perspectives and even if I don't agree, I can still empathize with them
Audrey: it's not annoying
Jamie: Grandma and Friend just want to love this little boy and hold on to any part of his mom that they can. They're making life difficult but they're not evil
Jamie: and at the same time, he could've texted you
Ruth: I see how everything is really fucked up for him and he's probably been trying to focus on the kid but yes, he could've found time to text you once
Audrey: that's basically what I said
Jamie: has he at least spent this time apologizing so hard that you won't be walking right for the next week?
Audrey: something like that
Ruth: ignoring the sex for a minute. Does he know that he's used up all his second chances?
Audrey: seeing me with Brecken made that pretty clear
Jamie: the better question is do you, Miss Audrey, know it's his last second chance?
Audrey: yeah, I do