Chapter 50 #2
"We won't let it." He hooked my leg around his waist and dragged his hand up from my knee to my backside.
Those fingers gripped my flesh hard, like he wanted to leave a mark just so he could come back tomorrow and kiss it better.
There was something proprietary about the way he touched me.
Like he'd just been waiting for me to realize what all of this meant and why he was here, and now he could stop holding back. "We just won't let it, Saunders."
I wanted to believe him though there were more than a few significant roadblocks in our way. "But—"
Jude didn't let me finish. He stole my lips in a bruising kiss and rocked his erection against me and that was the end of our conversation. I dragged my nails over the ropey muscles of his back and shoulders, wanting to dig into him, to claim a piece of him for myself just as he claimed me.
He pushed my shorts and undies down to my ankles and I had to admit that was better than my pull the crotch out of the way idea. Less cumbersome. Better for all involved.
He slipped a hand between my legs, growling as he drew circles around my clit. I was wet, shockingly so, and there was no hiding it now.
"What did it for you?" he asked, quite pleased with himself. "Hearing how completely you own me? Or realizing that I might actually be a stalker?"
I yanked the shirt over his head. "Neither. I'm just—I don't know. It's overwhelming to talk about trying to be us again."
"You could've told me that." He kissed his way along my jaw, back to the corner of my mouth.
I worked his belt open, pushed his clothes to the concrete floor. "I just did."
"You only told me because I pushed."
"Says the guy creeping on my baking blog for years. You can tell me things too, you know."
He took his cock in hand and gave it a long, slow stroke. "Are you ready to hear all the things I have to tell you?"
"Yes." I ran a hand through his hair before adding, "Maybe."
Growling, he pushed inside me with one slow thrust and held himself there as I gasped and shuddered.
My grip on his hair was brutal but I couldn't help it.
The pressure was unreal. Heat washed over my skin.
I closed my eyes as I tried to talk my body into opening up a little more.
That was all I needed. Just a little more.
"Oh god," I gasped. "I need— Wait. I can't. It's too much."
"You just need to breathe," he said. "Come on, princess. Breathe for me."
I fought to pull in air, to find that space inside myself. "It's like I can feel you everywhere."
"Good." He gave me a hard, quick kiss as my muscles yielded to him. "Now, let's get back to that maybe." His hand settled on the small of my back, canting my hips as he moved deeper inside me. My lips parted on a silent cry. "You can do better than maybe."
"You can tell me anything." The tension building inside me was too much. I couldn't bear it, not like this. Not all at once. I felt tears gathering behind my eyes and a deep, twisting ache low in my belly. "I won't jump out of the car."
"Anything? You're sure about that?"
He pulled out slowly, each inch dragging over my tender flesh like a promise—a threat?—of what was to come. "Anything," I whispered. "Please, just—yes."
He flattened me against the washer before the last word left my lips. I had one hand curled around the back of his neck, the other gripping his shoulder, and it was the best I could do to steady myself while he thrust into me.
"Can I tell you that I haven't stopped loving you?" he asked, digging his fingers into my hip. "Not once? Not even when I needed to stop loving you more than I needed anything else in the world?"
"Tell me." I dropped my head to his shoulder, brushed my lips over the pulse hammering in his throat. "Tell me all of it."
"I've never loved anyone else and I hated you for keeping me for yourself," he said, the words hoarse. "I hated that you walked away but I couldn't leave you."
My belly swooped and a fresh new rush of blazing heat moved through me. I watched as the muscles in his arms and shoulders pulsed with every thrust. His jaw ticked and I had to lift a hand to his face just to feel it under my fingers.
Everything inside me seemed to gather and twist. My back arched off the washing machine as my inner walls tightened, giving a painful throb. I'd do anything to come right now. Anything at all.
"I love you too," I said. "Always have."
"Say it again."
"I love you," I said, my body quivering now. "I never stopped."
He met my eyes as he rocked into me once more. "I know."
Some orgasms were explosions. Some were like getting caught in the barrel of a wave.
But then there were some that unraveled like a ball of yarn that slipped out of your hands and down a flight of stairs—and those were the most devastating because they started slow but stretched on until there was nothing left.
All I could do was press my mouth to his neck and dig my fingers into his skin and hope he understood that anything that might've stood between us was gone. All those years, everything we'd thought to be true—shattered.
He growled something that I was too slow and woozy to understand and then I felt him swell and surge inside me.
We stayed there, gasping and shaking and clinging to each other.
My head was full of white noise and my backside was pancaked against the washing machine.
I'd probably wear an imprint of the logo on my upper right butt cheek for the next week.
"I don't know if I'm allowed to say this," Jude started.
"Then you're probably not."
He reached for my hand, lacing our fingers together and sliding our joined palms between our bodies. He traced where he still pulsed inside me. I shuddered when he painted my folds and my clit with his release. "This feels so much better than I ever remembered."
"We barely knew what we were doing back then," I said. "I mean, the only objective was doing it without getting caught. Not a lot of technique involved."
He went on stroking me as he considered this, his cock still buried inside me and rearranging my organs. "Does that mean it wasn't good for you?"
"I remember it being good," I said. "But I like that we're better at it now. And that we don't have to sneak around."
"We are better at it." He gave my backside a light slap. "But you're amazing. When I'm inside you, it's so good that I can't think. It feels like you're stealing something from me but I don't mind because I want you to take it. Take all of it, everything. Suck me dry."
I huffed out a laugh. "That's just because we don't need condoms anymore."
"No, Audrey. It's because I fucking love you and I've been waiting to get you back for a literal fucking decade and now that I have you, the only place I want to be is inside you.
It's because no one will ever be able to convince me that we weren't made for each other.
That we fit right here"—he pressed my palm hard against my mound—"better than anyone else ever could.
And we fit here"—he rested his forehead against mine—"better than anyone else.
It's because I touch you and I feel like I know how to exist in this world. Like I'm awake and alive again."
I nodded because yes, that was the truth of it, even if I'd avoided finding that reflection in the mirror for weeks. I kissed the corner of his mouth. I didn't think I could say anything and even if I did, it wouldn't be adequate.
But I knew there was no going back now. We weren't the same people who argued in that bathroom at the reunion and we weren't the same ones who'd shared a bed in that terrifying motel room. We weren't even the same as we were last night.
And what a relief that was.
A knock sounded on the door and then the voice from Percy's tablet asked, "Are you guys in there?"
Our eyes locked. Jude cleared his throat. "Yeah, we're just—we're fixing something," he called. "Why don't you go upstairs and hang out with Bagel? We'll be up in a minute."
"He's sleeping," the tablet announced.
"Okay, well, hold on and we'll be there soon," Jude said, glancing at the discarded clothes all around us. He set me down, holding my waist as I found my footing. "We just need to put something back together."
"Can I help?" Percy asked.
"Jesus Christ," he breathed as we scrambled to pull on clothes. "Not this time, pal. You don't have the right safety gear for this one."
After a long pause, the tablet said, "I'm going to read my book in the backyard."
When we heard his steps on the basement stairs, we stared at each other for a second and then burst out laughing. "I guess we're not done sneaking around," I said.
"Apparently not." He skimmed a thumb over my cheek. "I do love you."
I pushed some hair off his forehead. "I love you too."
He flattened a hand to the lid of the washing machine and stared at it for a minute. I'd barely noticed it running all this time. "The agitator is starting to go," he said.
"What? No. It's still new. I bought it when I moved in. It's only a few years old."
"They don't build these things to last anymore. If it were up to me, I'd hang onto the old ones as long as possible. They require a lot more attention and care but they're worth it." He stared at the washer for another moment before saying, "I'll add this to my list."
"Now you have a list? What else are you fixing up around here?"
A grin warmed his eyes as he cupped my cheek. "Anything you'll let me get my hands on."