Chapter 2 #2
Nathan looks every inch the preppy college graduate he is.
He comes from money and has no problem admitting he likes the finer things in life.
But say what you want about the man, he’s solid.
From day one, he never blinked at my cut or my scars.
And no matter who walks through these doors, your sex or sexual orientation, wealth, or political views, the man will treat you exactly the same way.
Even Hannibal likes the guy, and Hannibal likes nobody.
“Good to see you. How’s shit going?”
We, as a club, don’t share most things Raven-related, so he has plausible deniability, as do our clients. That doesn’t mean he’s dumb.
“It’s been rough. I hate to keep piling the shit on you, but I need to keep working remotely for a while. I’ll pop into the office when I can to go through the crap I can’t deal with off-site, but I won’t be around to actually talk to clients.”
“You’re the boss. You don’t need to be talking to clients anyway.”
I’m about to speak, but he folds his arms. “You don’t need to be working on anything right now. We have it handled. Lil’s case is different. I get why you want to work on it since she’s family, but everyone else can take care of the rest. We have a team for a reason, Kruger. Use them.”
I sit in one of his chairs and sigh, feeling tired to my fucking bones. “You might be right.”
“Can I get that in writing?”
“You want me to fire you?”
“Nice try, but we both know this place would fall into ruins without me.” He laughs, grabbing a Coke from the mini fridge and handing it to me.
“Aint that the truth.”
“Tell me what you need from me.”
“Just what you’ve been doing. I can’t keep spreading myself thin. Now that she—”
I snap my mouth shut when he leans back in the chair and gives me a knowing smile.
“She, huh? And it all makes sense.”
“It ain’t like that.”
“You’re a shit liar, Kruger.”
“Alright, it ain’t like that for her.”
He steeples his fingers, his eyes moving over my face.
I shake my head. “No, it has fuck-all to do with my scars and everything to do with my winning personality.”
He grins then. “Can’t say I blame her then. Though I hope she knows what she’s got herself into. I’ve never known you to back down from anything.”
“This is different. I fucked up. Fucked up so bad I don’t know if there is any coming back from it.”
He stares at me in that way that makes me feel like he sees more than he lets on. “Then let her go.”
“Just like that?”
“If you already have one foot out the door, why hurt her more? You can’t half-ass it, Kruger.”
“It’s not that simple. Fuck me, I wish it were. She hates me.”
“It warranted?”
I press my lips together. “Yeah.”
He rubs his jaw. “See all sorts doing this job. Including the guy that fucked up so bad his woman leaves him. Then he keeps fucking up by not leaving her alone. At some point, it becomes more about him than her. If this woman wants no part of this, you have to walk away. You’ve seen how this plays out. ”
“That’s just fucking it, I’m so damn tired of walking away. I’ve been the good guy, the bad guy, and everything in between. You know what I haven’t been? Her guy. The one she comes home to, the one she runs to when shit goes bad.”
“I understand that. I just don’t want you to be the guy she runs from.”
There’s a warning in his tone. I get it. He’s right. We see this shit all the time. Men who fuck up so badly, but they can’t get their heads around the fact that their women won’t forgive them. Ironic, given the stats say men in the same situation are far less likely to forgive than women are.
“I walked away so many times. I don’t have it in me to do it again.”
“Then you need to give her a reason she should believe that this time you’ll stay.”
I have no idea how the fuck to do that. I might have been in love with Del for years, but she never had eyes for anyone but Snake.
I grit my teeth thinking about the man I thought was my friend.
Even after all this time, the betrayal runs deep.
I can only imagine what it feels like to be in Del’s shoes.
“I’ve gotta go. Text me if you run into any issues.”
“You got it.”
I get up to leave, pausing with my hand on the door when he calls my name. I look back at him as he stands.
“You love her?”
“Yeah. I do.”
“Then fight for her. If anyone can turn shit around, it’s you.”
“I hope you’re right. I really do.”
I think over what he said as I walk out and ride over to the compound.
I park my bike, knowing I’m going to exchange it for my truck because Del is in no fit state to ride behind me yet.
It doesn’t mean I can’t dream about the day I can have her wrapped around me.
As I walk up to the saloon with my thoughts on Del, I almost collide with Midas, who is hurrying out.
“Fuck, sorry.”
“You okay? Legs okay?”
“Yeah, we’re all good. I’m just trying to find a fucking prospect to make an emergency ice cream run.”
I snort. “Good luck with that. How’s Legs doing with everything anyway?”
“You know my girl. She might as well be Teflon-coated. I don’t know how she keeps on taking hits and stays standing.”
“Women always were the strongest of us.”
“Pretty forward thinking for a brother,” he teases.
“That’s just it, though. We need a band of brothers to keep ourselves safe. But the women here? They do that shit themselves. I’m pretty sure they only let us protect them so we can feel like big, strong men.”
He throws his head back and laughs. Amity—G’s old lady—walks out, twirling keys between her fingers.
“Oh, hey, guys.”
“Where you off to?” Midas asks.
She cocks her brow at him.
“Not trying to babysit you, need ice cream for Legs and can’t find a damn prospect.”
She relaxes her stance. “I’m about to throw myself out of a plane, but I can pick some up on the way back.”
We both stare at her before turning to look at each other.
“You’re absolutely right. They don’t fucking need us at all.”
Amity, catching on to what we’re talking about, grins. “Oh, I don’t know about that. Vibrators can’t mow the lawn or take out the trash.”
“Or, buy ice cream when the craving hits,” I add, making Midas sigh.
“Fine, I’ll go buy it myself. Might just buy out the store because we all know she’ll have changed her mind about what flavor she wants when I get back,” he mutters before turning to leave.
Amity grins. “Use the freezers in the barn if there are no body parts stashed in there. I figure with Hannibal gone, it’s probably empty.”
Midas salutes her as he walks away, but I shake my head. “We really can’t keep anything secret, can we?”
“Men are worse than women for gossiping. Plus, I’ve yet to meet a man who understands the difference between an indoor voice and an outdoor voice.”
“What the fuck is an indoor voice?” I shout.
“Exactly.” She pats my chest and walks off, heading toward the warehouse where her new Camaro is parked.
I head into the saloon, wondering if I’ll ever understand women, and see Neveah drawing a chalk outline around Toot.
“I guess that answers that, then.”
I walk over as Neveah stands up, careful not to flash anyone in her little flippy skirt.
“Should I be concerned?”
“Huh?” She looks up at me, confused, before her gaze drops back to Toot. “Oh no, I’m doing some research for a book. The time to worry was when I was getting everyone’s measurements last week.”
“Yeah, what the fuck was that all about?” Toot asks, jumping up.
“Coffin sizes.” She shrugs as she walks away, leaving us both staring after her.
“I’m starting to think the women are more messed up than the rest of us.”
I look over and see Legs sitting next to Probe, dunking a burger into what looks like a bowl of cereal and grimacing.
“It’s not often I agree with you, Toot, but you might be on to something.”
He looks me over, then frowns. “You’re not working?”
“And people say you have no observational skills.”
“God couldn’t give me all this beauty and brains. It would give me an unfair advantage over the rest of my brethren.”
“Jesus,” I snort, making him grin. “I was tying up loose ends.”
His grin slips from his face. “Delphi?”
I clench my jaw. “She’s my next stop. Nathan has ELM under control, and the house is good to go.”
“So what the fuck are you doing here then?”
“Apparently not getting any moral support.”
“Don’t be such a pussy. The woman you’ve been in love with forever is finally single and apparently not a traitor. If you can’t make it work now, you never will.”
Mack walks up behind him and slaps the back of his head.
“The fuck?”
“Tact. Try to find some.”
Toot grumbles and walks off as Mack shakes his head.
“You gonna tell me he means well?”
“Am I fuck. Toot is Toot. No changing him now.”
“You say that, but I have a feeling a woman might change everything.”
“The only thing it would change is Toot’s status from alive and kicking to six feet under. He tends to bring out a woman’s homicidal side.”
“I can see that.” I roll my eyes when Legs throws a water bottle at Toot’s head.
“He’s right in a roundabout way, though. She’s gonna be at your mercy. If you can’t make it work now—”
“Yeah, yeah, I never will. I got it. Guess I could always handcuff her to the bed and wait for her to develop Stockholm syndrome.”
“Glad to see you have a plan.” He chuckles before walking over to the bar.
I head to the corner table where Havoc, Circus, and Capone are talking. Havoc looks up when he sees me approach. “Hey, everything sorted?”
“Yeah, I’m heading to the hospital now.”
“We can cover you for a week or two, but after that, we’ll need to figure something else out.”
“I know. Hopefully by then she won’t want to stab me in my sleep and will listen to reason.”
Circus snorts. “Yeah, good luck with that.”
“I gotta ask, and I know I’ve been out of the loop a little, but what’s the general consensus around here about Del? I don’t want to work on bringing her back into the fold only for her to be treated like a traitor.”
His jaw clenches, and I know he’s thinking about the parallels between Delphi and Lola, his ex.
“Still haven’t heard Del’s side of things. I don’t know her well enough to make a judgment call on this without at least speaking to her first. Especially when Blade seemed pretty sure when it happened that she was involved.”
“And what’s he think now?”
“I haven’t told him she’s back on the scene.
I just brought her up in passing. He admits he reacted in anger.
But when I asked him if he thought she was capable of the shit he accused her of, he said he didn’t think Bear or Snake were capable of the shit they pulled either, and there wasn’t anything Del wouldn’t do for Snake. ”
I run my fingers through my hair, feeling frustrated. I’d hoped things weren’t quite so up in the fucking air. I believe her. The fucked-up thing is, looking back without the anger, I believed her back then too. I just had blinders on.
“Once I get her settled, come see her. Feel her out.”
“I will. I’m just saying, as much as you want this to be smooth sailing, there are going to be bumps in the road. The shit with Snake and Bear caused a ripple effect. Blade will have a hard time with this. Some of the old timers will too.”
“Well, they’d better figure their shit out, or I’ll remind them exactly why I’m the club’s enforcer.”