Chapter 29 #2
“You’re a hero,” Mike from the feed store calls out. “But if you were my daughter, I’d put you over my knee for doing something so idiotic.”
“So what I’m hearing is, Mike wants to spank me.”
That makes Kruger growl louder, but Mike narrows his eyes at me before his lips twitch. “My point is, it’s always going to be too soon. Look around you. Look how many people you brought together. None of us would be standing here if it weren’t for you.”
I swallow at that and blow him a kiss. “Thank you, but I can’t take the credit for this.
Sure, the concept was my idea, but Midas was the one who gave me the keys to Au and said, ‘Make it yours.’ So I did.
” I offer Midas a watery smile. He inclines his head, knowing there was so much more to it than that.
But at its essence, he gave me the keys to the kingdom that I made myself queen of.
“Circus and Capone brought my vision to life. Actually, this is so much more than I dreamed it could be. It’s like they took my idea, dipped it in magic, and finished it off with a sprinkling of glitter.”
The crowd laughs as Capone shakes his head, and Circus takes a bow.
“Kruger and Theo kept me sane. Well, for the most part. They loved me through all the craziness and supported me when I felt like I’d bitten off more than I could chew.
I’m not saying they’re my favorite of God’s creations…
” I tease, getting some boos from the men and some laughter from the women.
“But Kruger and Theo really are the best of the best.”
I glance around the room and feel the love emanating from everyone. “To my girls who helped style the place, and to the guys who worked tirelessly behind the scenes doing the shitty work and making sure we all stayed fed.” I wink at Con, who blushes.
“None of this would be possible without each and every one of you. If you had told me six months ago that the place I ran from would be the same place that welcomed me home, I’d have laughed in your faces.
Now though, I just want to say thank you.
Thank you for forgiving me. Thank you for allowing me the time to forgive you right back.
It’s a tricky thing to be both the hero and villain of your own story. ”
I wave my arms around to encompass them all. “And this is why I don’t give speeches,” I say to the now quiet room. “My mouth tends to run faster than my brain. Again, thank you for coming and making this day even more special.”
The room explodes into a load of clapping and whistling. Before I know it, I’m being pulled in for hugs and cheek kisses, and everything becomes a whirlwind of congratulations and well-wishes.
It isn’t until the store is closed for the night and Kruger heads back to the clubhouse to swap out his bike for the truck that I find myself alone with the boy who has consumed my thoughts all day.
“Hey, Theo?”
He turns and looks at me over his shoulder from the table he is wiping down. The expression on my face has him standing quickly, leaving the rag on the table as he hurries over to me.
“What’s wrong?”
“I need to talk to you. But before I do, I need you to know that I love you so fucking much. Don’t ever doubt that.”
He freezes before swallowing. “You don’t want me anymore?”
“That’s what you got from that? Lord, spare me from thumping the stupid out of you. Sit your ass down and don’t ask ridiculous questions like that again.”
I wait until he takes a seat at the closest table before pulling out the chair opposite. “Every time I became pregnant, that baby became my whole reason for existing.”
He sucks in a sharp breath, his eyes locking on mine.
“Every loss felt like a failure on my part. When Samuel died, I thought I was being punished—that I must have been evil in a former life to deserve this much pain. Yet looking back, I wouldn’t have changed getting pregnant.
I wouldn’t have spared myself the heartache.
Because for those blissful moments, no matter how small, they were the happiest moments of my life, even if they were followed by the worst.”
I take a steadying breath before I push on. “Now I know it was a test. A fucked-up test for sure. But it forced me to be strong, taught me how to hold on even when I was weak, and it took my love that was full of softness and yearning and turned it into something vicious.”
“I don’t understand. A test for what?”
“For you. There is no place for a soft Delphi in what’s to come. No place for me to hesitate or question myself.”
“Delphi, you’re scaring me.”
I reach across the table and take his hand in mine. “Your mom is in rehab. She checked herself in, and Greer has warned me that if she gets clean, given that she was never physical with you and wasn’t present when you were last attacked by Josh, they’ll likely place you back with her.”
His hand squeezes mine hard. “Fuck!”
I don’t chastise him for swearing, not when it comes to this.
A man or a woman who he has never met, who has never lived a day in the horrors Theo has, will determine if he has to return to the hell he escaped from after finally tasting safety and freedom.
It’s not fair and speaks volumes about the fucked-up system that so often fails the kids it’s supposed to be protecting.
“If a judge orders you to return to your mom, I can’t stop Greer from taking you. I won’t fight her. I’ll hug you tight and watch you go.” I tell him the harsh truth, trying to stop the helplessness from bleeding into my voice. He tries to pull his hand back but I won’t let go.
“Do not think that means I want you any less.”
“So fight for me,” he whispers.
I lean over and cup his cheek. “I’ll show Greer nothing but compliance, but me and you—we’re going to have a plan. Nobody else can know about it though, Theo. Not even Kruger. Do you understand?”
His eyes search mine before they fill with tears that he manages to wrestle under control. “I trust you, Delphi. Not one other person has cared for me the way you do.”
“I don’t know if that’s true or not because you’re easy to love. What I do know is I’ve lost child after child, and goddamn it, I refuse to lose anymore.”
His eyes slip closed. In that moment, a pact is made between us, written in love, steeped in promises unspoken, and signed with an oath. No matter what happens, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.
“Let’s make a plan.”
He looks at me for a moment before a smile graces his lips. It’s small and shaky, but it’s there, and it gives me the strength to carry the burden of what’s to come.