Chapter 29
Chapter Twenty-Nine
“Trace! Can you look a little more exuberant…or something? It’s a volleyball game, not a funeral.” Brady pulled the megaphone away from his mouth. I wasn’t sure where or when he’d acquired it, but he’d been an absolute menace with the thing all morning.
We were outside on the beach, with a net set up and the area roped off, although this part of the beach was only private mansions, so there wasn’t much foot traffic to keep out.
I forced my smile to be wider and jumped up and down clapping. “Like this?” I asked.
“Perfect.” There was a loud feedback squeal from the megaphone. I looked at Emma, eyebrows up by my hairline. She stood closer to me, just behind the camera operator who lingered to my right.
She shrugged and gave me a what can you do look.
Even though the entire point of me being out here on the sidelines was to observe the guys playing beach volleyball, I’d done an incredible job of shifting my focus to almost everything else.
They were all shirtless, of course, and while it wasn’t a bad sight, I couldn’t take it in.
Because if I looked at any one of them, my eyes traveled straight to Danny.
He’d been watching me all morning. I could feel it.
His presence here had completely destabilized me.
“Alright, let’s resume the game!” Brady instructed, unnecessarily loud.
I made a poor effort to only concentrate on the volleyball as it bounced back and forth, side to side. I was so conscious of every move I made now that Danny was here. It was like I couldn’t relax. I was so aware of him at all times, even as I actively avoided looking directly at him.
He was on a team with Austin and Grant. Christian, Isaac, and Tripp made up the other team. In the usual formula for this show, the members of the winning team would get extra time with me.
Most of the guys were frustrated by Danny’s late arrival.
Not because they were in love with me or anything, but because it probably hurt their fragile egos.
I could practically smell the testosterone mixing with the salty air.
I looked out onto the ocean, desperately wishing I could just swim away instead of stand here the rest of the game.
The megaphone squealed. “Trace. Eyes on the game.”
I drew out a sigh before bringing my attention back to the net in time to see Tripp spike the ball over.
Grant quickly got underneath it and shot it to Danny, who returned it with ease.
Crap. Watching his pec muscles strain with the motion could not be good for my mental health.
A few months ago, I’d been able to run my hands over them.
They’d been mine. Now they just tortured me.
The ball was barely on the other side before Isaac hit it back over. It went in Austin’s direction, who flailed for a moment before ultimately missing it. The ball landed in the sand, giving the other team another point.
“Shit,” he exclaimed, kicking the sand. Austin’s team was behind.
While Grant and Danny were naturally athletic and pretty good at the sport, Austin apparently had poor hand-eye coordination, or something.
He’d been struggling the entire game. It didn’t help that the other side practically looked like a semi-pro rec league.
Tripp and Isaac were shockingly good, and Christian had enough competitiveness to at least always make contact with the ball.
It was Isaac’s serve. He got it over the net without much effort, and Danny returned it. Christian got under the ball in time, but it sprang off his closed fist and went out of bounds. Point for them.
I clapped, even though I secretly wasn’t rooting for Danny’s team. Him being here was more than I could handle. I wasn’t mentally prepared to have another conversation. What would I say? Worse, what would he say?
No, it would be much easier if they lost this game, and I could have a moment’s peace to collect myself.
I gnawed on my bottom lip, pulse quickening as I watched another back and forth. Once again, as soon as it was on Austin to return, he whiffed it and the ball went straight into the net. I could practically see the vein bulging in his neck.
“Alright, next point for team Tripp wins!” Brady called, “Trace, announce it so we can get it on camera.”
I did as I was told.
They were called team Tripp because he was one team captain, Austin was the other.
They’d picked their teams schoolyard style.
I was surprised at who Austin had chosen, considering he was pissed about Danny’s arrival, and Austin and Grant clearly didn’t get along.
But they were the tallest, so my best guess is that he thought they’d help him win.
Unfortunately, the other two couldn’t quite compensate for how badly he was playing.
And just like that, Isaac served it over, Grant tipped it up to Danny, who spiked it. Tripp got under it just in time, sending an easy ball in Austin’s direction. But once again, he wasn’t where he was supposed to be and didn’t quite get there in time. The ball fell to the sand.
“That’s game!” I shouted, doing my best to cheer. Even though the outcome had been what I thought I’d wanted, I found my heart sinking straight into my stomach at the thought of not getting to see Danny.
Get a grip, Trace.
I’d lost focus for just a second and my eyes found his, drawn like a magnet. He offered me a small shrug and a smile. I tore my gaze away. It was a shy gesture for him. I’d expected him to look angrier, or something.
Not as angry as Austin, though. He picked up the ball and squeezed.
“Damnit!” he cried, before launching it at the net. The volleyball bounced off the pole and ricocheted right toward me.
“Hey!” I yelled, trying to duck away, but the ball whizzed into my stomach, knocking the air right out of my lungs.
I dropped to my knees, arms wrapped around myself, gasping for a full breath.
“What the fuck is the matter with you!” Danny barked, immediately getting in Austin’s face. “Don’t throw a ball in her direction like that again.”
“I didn’t throw it at her!” Austin, although clearly still pissed, seemed to realize the colossal mistake he’d made. Taking his anger out in such an immature way wouldn’t earn him any popularity points.
Austin put on his mask. “Sorry, Trace.” He took a step toward me but stopped when he saw Danny’s death glare.
Danny jogged toward me, dropping to his knees in front of me.
“I’m fine,” I said, forcing myself to be a good sport about it. I also didn’t want to gasp in pain with the camera right there, documenting the whole thing.
“You sure?” Danny asked, eyes darting frantically over me. His fingers grazed my stomach just above my bellybutton, where a red spot had formed. My stomach did about a million backflips.
“I’m fine. It barely touched me.”
Danny ignored me, instead inspecting the skin the ball had grazed. “You’re all red,” he said, jaw locked. He shot a glare back at Austin, who’d started to approach me again, but stopped once more when he met Danny’s glower.
Austin held his hands up. “I said I was sorry.”
“It’s not his fault he can’t aim,” Grant said.
It took a moment for the jab to sink in before Austin turned his attention to Grant. “You weren’t much help.”
Grant tossed his head back and laughed. “I did everything I possibly could, but you’re just too absurdly terrible at this. It really was amazing to watch. A physical feat in and of itself.”
Austin got in his face and his voice shot up an octave or two as they argued over whose fault it was.
“You sure you’re okay?” Danny asked, returning all his attention to me. I could drown in those blue eyes.
“I’m fine,” I choked out.
He brushed a finger against the red mark. Goosebumps pricked my entire body. “You sure it doesn’t sting?” he asked.
I bit down on my lip. Hard. “Nope.” Now I was breathless for another reason entirely.
He straightened up, holding out a hand. I took it and let him help me up.
“Wish we’d won,” he said.
My mouth parted slightly, but it was like I’d forgotten how to speak. Why couldn’t I just be over him, dammit?
Tripp jogged over from the winner’s side of the volleyball match, but he slowed his stride to an apprehensive walk as he got closer.
His eyes shifted from me to Danny. My guilt seeped in.
Tripp didn’t deserve this. He deserved someone who was sure about him, who wasn’t hung up on an ex who wasn’t just a memory.
“You alright?” Tripp asked.
“She’s fine,” Danny bit out. “Shit, sorry,” he said, shooting me a sheepish look that told me he realized how ridiculously jealous and macho he was being right now.
“I’m fine,” I said, answering for myself this time. “Good game.”
“Yeah. Good game, man.” Danny held up a hand and Tripp shook it, nodding his head.
“You, too.”
My hands flew to my ears as another exceptionally loud screech from the megaphone blasted us.
“Alright, let’s round up the losers and get them inside. Tripp, Isaac, Christian, stay behind for your date. We’ve got beach towels set up fifty feet down the beach, and we’ll bring you snacks and drinks.”
Danny looked pained, like he hated leaving me there. But he offered me a soft smile and a nod.
“I’ll see you later,” he said, tipping his chin in acknowledgement and walking backward for a few steps, not turning away until it was necessary. He joined the rest of the guys and some of the crew as they walked back toward the house.
My eyes stayed locked on him until his back was past the gate. I blinked a few times, finally breaking the spell.
Crap. Why was that enough to make me melt? Way to stay strong.
“Okay, Trace, let’s get a quick interview,” Emma said. I’d almost forgotten she was there. “Tripp, go get set up with Brady and the other guys.”
He nodded and shot me a smile before walking off.
“Geez, it’s gotten disgustingly hot out today,” Emma muttered, adjusting my mic as the camera operator turned so he could capture me full on, with the ocean in the background.
“I wish I could run into that water,” I said longingly.
“I’d let you if Brady wouldn’t kill me. He’ll probably want shots of you playing in the water with the winners, though.”
“Great,” I deadpanned, already dreading how unnatural that would be. I’m sure he would instruct us to splash each other while laughing, or whatever vision he had in his head.
“So,” she started, looking at her tablet and shifting into interview mode. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m excited. The game was intense and fun to watch, and I’m looking forward to spending time with the winning team on this beautiful day.”
I could do these interviews in my sleep by now; standing here and answering Emma’s questions was like muscle memory. I knew exactly which soundbites they were looking for to splice into the episode.
We rattled off a few more quick ones. She was kind and kept it all light, not asking me anything about Danny except how I thought the other guys were handling his arrival, to which I just responded, “I think they’re being gracious and understanding,” even though I wasn’t convinced that was the truth.
“Great, that was perfect,” Emma said, pulling off her headset as the camera operator moved further down the beach to the beach towel setup and the three winning men.
“You’re good, really?” Emma asked now that we were sans camera.
“As good as can be expected,” I answered.
“I saw you practically drooling over Danny.”
My lips parted. “I was not! I hardly looked at him.”
She chuckled. “There were literal hearts in your eyes, if that’s possible.”
I tipped my head back and groaned. “Stop. Don’t tell me that. I’m trying to stay strong.”
“Good luck. With a body like that, I’d cave too.”
“Not helping.” I gnawed on my lip. “What am I supposed to say to Tripp today? How am I supposed to have a normal date? He was offering to propose to me yesterday, for crying out loud.”
It was like a lifetime had passed in a day.
While the idea of getting engaged to Tripp had always felt a bit preposterous, no matter how much everyone tried to convince me it was no big deal, the idea now felt even more insane.
Nothing cemented Tripp as a stranger to me more than the guy I was still in love with just showing up out of nowhere and re-centering himself in my world.
“You’re sure you don’t want to give Tripp a chance anymore?” she asked.
“Unfortunately, it’s not about what I want. It’s like ever since I saw Danny yesterday, my mind is laser focused. I’m either thinking about him or using all of my energy to not think about him. Which is basically still thinking about him!”
Emma frowned and looked down the beach to where the three guys were applying sunscreen.
“Look, you’re still reeling from yesterday.
Totally understandable. Don’t do anything rash, okay?
Just have fun with it. Make jokes, play in the water, do your best to avoid deep conversations.
Keep any topics hypothetical. Where do you see yourself?
Do you want a family? Yadda yadda. You know the drill. ”
“Right.” I nodded, squinting because I wasn’t allowed to wear sunglasses. “I can do that.”
“Danny did hurt you, let’s not forget that. Maybe after you give your nervous system time to calm down, you’ll realize that you’re more over it than you thought. Maybe you’ll still want to give Tripp a chance.”
I nodded.
“Remember,” she said, ushering me to the awaiting guys. Tripp caught my eye and gave me a shy wave. “Light and fun.”
I ran off to meet the guys, a bright smile glued to my face. While I knew that Emma had the best of intentions, I also knew that she was wrong.
No amount of time was going to get my nervous system under control. Not with Danny in the equation.