Chapter 45
Chapter Forty-Five
My mouth hung open as I swiped one final coat of brown mascara onto my lashes. I nodded in approval when I took in my appearance. I looked good. Danny would tell me I looked beautiful no matter what, but I still wanted to knock his socks off.
I drummed my fingers impatiently against the vanity.
Why hadn’t anyone come to get me to start filming yet? Brady had made it seem like it would be an early day, but now it was creeping into the afternoon, and I hadn’t heard a peep from anyone.
My chest buzzed with anticipation.
After everything we’d been through, it would be a relief to finish this last bit of filming and close this chapter—to hold his hand in an airport and fly somewhere, together. It was the ending we should have had months ago. The ending I deserved, dammit.
A rhythmic knocking rang through the room.
Finally.
“Come in,” I called, not having to check the peephole to know that it was someone from the crew.
At first, I’d been a little reluctant to move to this hotel room, but it had been positively luxurious sleeping in a fresh bed. And don’t even get me started on the bathroom. I’d spent so much time in the jetted bathtub last night, my skin was still pruned this morning.
The change of scenery was a welcome reminder that freedom was right around the corner.
I was surprised to see Brady walk in instead of Emma.
“Hey, Trace.” His drawn out, ‘hey’ had an apologetic ring to it.
I was on high alert immediately. “What’s up?” I asked. “Is it time to film?”
Emma had already briefed me last night before bed. They’d take me to a gorgeously decorated mat on the beach, where Danny would be brought out to see me. We’d both share our feelings and then we’d be free to go.
No engagements, no interviews, no more faking anything.
“So, there’s been a slight change of plans,” he said.
My heart slammed against my chest. I didn’t speak—I couldn’t. He had that look in his eyes. That one that said he was going to drop a bombshell, or something.
“Danny isn’t here.”
“Why? Are we back to filming at the mansion?”
He frowned, pity in his eyes like he felt sorry for me. “He’s gone. Left.”
“Um. What?” The disbelief was heavy in my voice.
“Left for the airport this morning. Said he couldn’t even say goodbye.” He got up and paced, waving his hands around. “Of course, we begged him to at least talk to you, but he refused. The man couldn’t get out of here fast enough.”
Thoughts flooded my head. “That doesn’t sound right,” I said, shocked by the calm circulating through my system.
Despite all of the turmoil we’d already been through, this felt majorly off. He would never leave me high and dry like this, with people he didn’t trust. That wasn’t Danny. He was protective to a fault.
After he’d dumped me on Tough Love and filming was over, he’d followed me through the airport, not brave enough to actually talk things through with me, but needing to see me safely to my gate all the same.
Even though he’d made his fair share of mistakes, nothing he’d ever done had made me truly doubt how he felt about me.
He’d always delusionally rationalized to himself that he was doing what was best for me.
So leaving me in the hands of people he openly didn’t like or trust? That wasn’t something he would do.
Brady walked over and put a hand on my shoulder. I jerked away.
“I’m afraid to say, he’s definitely gone. Someone put him in a taxi to the airport this morning. He couldn’t face you. I’ve got some footage if you want to see.” He angled his tablet, showing me four videos on one screen. Danny storming around. Packing. Getting into a car.
“That makes no sense,” I insisted. “He wouldn’t do that.”
“He’s done it before.”
Exhaustion took hold of me then.
I was freaking tired.
Tired of being used and exploited. Tired of smiling through my anxiety. Tired of everyone who wasn’t me running my life.
Everything about this reeked of foul play, but I couldn’t quite figure out why.
All I knew was that I was done, and Danny wasn’t here.
I was completely over this. And, judging from the zealous expression thinly disguised as sympathy Brady wore, all he wanted was to see me crumble.
I would not be giving him the satisfaction.
“So, what now? Is the finale canceled?” I asked coolly.
He blinked, clearly taken aback by my nonchalance. “Oh, uh, no. We’ll want to get a shot of you alone on the beach.”
“Fantastic,” I let the word drip with sarcasm. I didn’t care anymore. I was hours away from being out from underneath his thumb. If this was the story he wanted—me heartbroken, alone, never to be loved—then so be it. The faster I went along with it, the faster it would be done.
“Oh, w-well. Okay then,” he stuttered. “I’ll let you collect yourself. Oh, and one last thing!” He turned before walking out the door. “Sorry in advance, but your mother is here. She’s waiting to see you.”
“What?” I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to ease my pounding heart. Could this day get any worse? It was my fault. I’d jinxed it by thinking it would surely be smooth sailing from here on out.
Don’t tempt karma.
“Apparently, this is the hotel she’s been staying at,” Brady said. “She ran into some of the crew coming through the lobby and demanded to see you. I figured you’d want a friendly face, after everything.”
My mother’s face was the least friendly one I could think of.
I sighed. “Send her in.” For some reason, I felt better prepared to face her than I had in years.
He slipped out the door. It hadn’t even clicked shut when my mother breezed through as if she belonged there. She was wearing a flowy beach coverup, the tie cinched around her waist.
“Where the hell were you? You snuck out with Danny? I couldn’t believe it when the publicist at your label sent me that photo. Do you know how many views it has, Tracy? This is bad. Like, really bad.”
Of course, that news had already reached her. She had Google alerts for me set up on all her accounts.
“It’s fine,” I said flatly.
She laughed. “It most certainly is not fine. Are you kidding? The entire first album is about how he broke your heart, and now you’re seen in public with him?
This is bad for your reputation. You’re going to look like an idiot.
And Brady said he already left? What’s that about?
You really did this entire show just to get dumped by the same guy? That’s beyond humiliating.”
My cheeks burned, but I kept my lips pressed shut.
My mother sighed and flopped onto the bench at the foot of the bed. “Lucky for you, the label doesn’t care about any of that. With all the talk about the show, they want to fast-track your next contract. Five albums. Can you believe it?”
“Great.” She must not have caught the sarcasm, because she pulled her laptop out of her bag and set it next to her before furiously clicking around.
“If you sign it now, I can get it to them today. They finally upped their royalty share, and to think we were having a hard time getting them to agree to one album a few months ago! This show really was a fantastic idea. But we need to keep your image intact.”
“What does that even mean?” I slumped further down into my chair.
She stood and set her computer down in front of me on the long glass table. The small black font on the stark white page instantly blurred before my eyes.
“It means, you need to walk away from this with your head held high. As far as everyone is concerned, Danny is just some guy who’s beneath you. You were never actually considering him. That’s the narrative we can sell once you’re out of here.”
“I can do and say whatever I want, actually,” I said.
She snapped her gaze to me. It was the first time she’d made eye contact since stepping inside. “Excuse me?”
I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes. “I just meant that it’s my life at the end of the day. And as much as you don’t want to hear it, I’m in love with Danny. Still am, despite whatever is going on right now. I’m not going to fake anything. I don’t want to pretend anymore.”
“Lord, give me patience,” she muttered, squeezing her eyes shut. “He doesn’t want you! He can’t make that any clearer.”
Pressure stung around my eyes, but shockingly, tears didn’t fall.
None of this seemed right. As much as I probably should, I just couldn’t give up hope in him.
Because he’d never really left like this before.
He was scared and had stepped back, then tried to claw his way forward again.
He wasn’t perfect. He was flawed and vulnerable.
But he wanted me, faults and all. In fact, he seemed to be the only one.
“You don’t know anything about him,” I said.
“I don’t need to know a thing about him to know that that man won’t stay. He’s going to make you look ridiculous over and over again if you let him. You need something stable. A little heartbreak is fine at first, but it gets old. And the public opinion will shift.”
“Then let it shift.”
She sighed. “I’m trying to look out for your best interest.”
“Is there anything else?” I asked dismissively.
She clicked around again, bringing up the contract from the screen that had gone dead. “Just sign this while I’m here. Our lawyer has already looked it over.”
I shook my head. “I’m not signing that.”
Her lips parted as she let out a short laugh. “What do you mean? This is the best contract we could have hoped for.”
“I don’t want to be at that label anymore. I’m not happy there. There’s no way I’m giving them my next five albums.”
“Like hell you aren’t.” She slapped her hand against the glass countertop. “What’s gotten into you? This is what we’ve been working toward.”
“It’s what you’ve been working toward. I’ve been telling you I’ve been unhappy for a while now. I want to write my own songs. This isn’t the direction I want to go.”
“You ungrateful little—” she cut off to avoid saying something overly crass.
There it was. Ungrateful. A word my own brain had tossed around countless times, but it didn’t have the effect it once had. I refused to let it.
“I need to figure out my next move, but it won’t be this.” I stood and walked toward the door, angling my head to indicate she should be going.
“I can’t believe you’re doing this. You’re going to be alone and unsigned. Why are you throwing your life away?”
“I’m reclaiming it, actually,” I said. I was saved at that moment by a knock at the door.
“You better head out,” I said. “Oh, and Mom?”
She started stuffing her laptop back in her bag, anger practically radiating from her body.
“What?” she snapped.
“You’re welcome to keep staying in the townhouse in Nashville until it sells, but I’m moving out when the show ends and putting it on the market.”
“What? You just bought it?”
I shrugged. “Then maybe I’ll rent it. All I know is I’m not going to be living there anymore.”
She frowned, looking me up and down. “I’ll go with you.”
“No. I need some space.”
She scoffed. “Is this because of him? Did Danny tell you to say this?”
“I should have said it a long time ago. You push me too much.”
“I want you to be the best.”
“Yes. You’ve wanted me to be the best since I was four years old. Do you know what the result of that was? Me never, ever feeling like I’m good enough. Well, I’m done. I’m letting that energy go.”
“Tracy—”
“Trace,” I corrected, though I knew it didn’t matter. “I need to do things for me. I’m taking the space that I need to heal. And I’m not signing another contract with a label that makes me miserable.”
I’d never seen my mother without perfect posture, but now she let her shoulders hunch forward, folding in on herself. “You’re just going to throw away your dreams?”
“No. You don’t get it. This is me going after my dreams—what I actually want.”
She shook her head and started moving for the door. “This is all him. God, I knew this would happen.” Then she was gone, the door slamming shut behind her.
She could think whatever she wanted. No matter what I said, she wouldn’t listen anyway. Still, it felt good to stand up to her. It was something I’d needed to do for a while, ever since she’d shoved herself into every corner of my life.
Now that she was gone, however, I was left to simmer in my own thoughts.
A hollowness spread through my chest.
Had Danny really bailed again? My gut said no. But he’d done it before. Could I really trust him to stay?
Brady had explained everything, even shown me a video to back up his words.
Still, my senses screamed at me that something felt wrong.