Chapter 21
21
Fiona poured herself a large scotch. It wasn’t her drink of choice, but a couple of her clients had grown to expect it at meetings so she always kept a bottle or two on hand. Half the glass was gone when Annabel appeared at the door.
‘What happened?’ she asked. ‘How did it go?’
She took another mouthful and let the warmth hit the back of her throat.
‘Well, I thought it was going okay, but…’ She had difficulty finishing the sentence.
‘So what went wrong?’ Annabel stepped inside the room. ‘He didn’t drop you? He couldn’t possibly have dropped you?’
Her nod was infinitesimal, almost undetectable, even to herself.
‘He said we could still do the seminar next month,’ she added. Annabel dropped down into a chair.
‘And after that?’
She filled another glass and handed it to her receptionist.
‘I told him he could shove it.’
‘You did what?’
‘Uh-huh.’ Having finished her drink, she moved to pour herself another, but stopped. She fetched another glass from the cabinet and opted for water instead. ‘I told him I wouldn’t – I couldn’t – do what he wanted. So, he could shove it all.’
‘So, what now? Where does that leave us?’
With a heavy heart, she looked at her assistant. The weight of the world seemed on her shoulders as she sank down in the chair opposite.
‘I’m sorry,’ Fiona said. ‘I don’t know what else to tell you. I considered backing down, but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t.’
A trembling started on Annabel’s lips, which she quickly tried to hide. ‘It’s fine,’ she said. ‘You’ll be fine. It was one company. That was all. You’ll bounce back.’
Fiona glanced around at the room, the office, the little empire she’d built.
‘You’re going to be all right,’ she said at last, in the most positive voice she could muster. ‘You will. You’re amazing and I’ll give you an incredible reference and I’ve got contacts. I’ve still got plenty of friends. I’ll find you something, don’t worry. I’ll start making calls tomorrow.’
Annabel paled. ‘You’re going to call it a day so soon? We’ve got other clients. Other events coming up.’
The sting of bile replaced the taste of whisky at the back of Fiona’s throat.
‘That’s not the way it works,’ she replied, only just starting to understand the full weight of her actions. ‘Half our allure was that we work with VertX.’
‘You don’t believe that, surely?’
‘Don’t I? It’s true. As soon as people hear Dominic’s gone, they’ll want to know why.’
‘That doesn’t mean they’ll go too.’
‘I wish I had your optimism.’
Annabel stood up from her chair and placed her hands on her hips.
‘People want to work with you because you’re you . Because you’re amazing at what you do. So what if we’re not in some fancy office for a few months? What does that matter? We can use your house as an office. Sod it, we could use my flat. It costs enough to rent the damn thing. And there’s plenty of room, if you don’t mind sharing with Hedwig.’
‘Hedwig?’
‘My cat.’
Fiona smiled sadly.
‘That’s so sweet of you to offer,’ she said, nearly in tears. ‘You should go home. Honestly, take the afternoon off. No one’s coming in now; we cleared the diary. And there’s nothing for you to do here, except watch me mope.’
‘I’ve got some filing I ca?—’
‘Please,’ she took her hands. ‘Please go home.’
Annabel nodded.
First silence in the house, now in the office. Fiona had always thought herself a person who liked her own space, who enjoyed the luxury that came with having no guests to entertain or others to consider but now that she found herself seemingly all at sea on a solo journey, it felt even lonelier than before.
Twice she tried calling Holly. Twice it went to voicemail. She waited half an hour and tried again. Success.
‘Fi? Is everything all right?’ Holly had the now-familiar tone of panic in her voice. ‘What’s happened?’
Fiona considered the possible ways of answering truthfully and discarded them all. ‘I was just wondering what you were up to, that’s all. Whether you wanted to catch a film together or something?’
A throat clearing was followed by a slight pause.
‘I would, I mean I can, of course, if you need me. It’s just, I’m on that date. With Jim, from yoga. Remember?’
‘That’s today?’
‘Well actually, it was last night. But it’s been going remarkably well.’
Fiona responded with a sad half-laugh. ‘Sorry, I’ll let you get back to him.’
‘Not if it’s important. Honestly, he’s great. He’d completely understand. He probably needs a break, actually.’
‘No,’ she said, with added certainty in her voice. ‘If he’s that great, then you absolutely have to stay. Honestly, I’m fine. Better than fine. I was just ringing to catch up, that’s all.’
Another pause indicated uncertainty.
‘You’re sure?’
‘I’m positive. Go, enjoy yourself. And make sure you fill me in later with all the details, okay? I want to know everything. Maybe we could do lunch some time.’
‘Lunch sounds good. I love you, sweetie.’
‘I love you too.’
She hung up. A simple silence had been replaced by a humongous, impenetrable vacuum. This was it. This was her life now. A business on the brink. A family disintegrating. Just her and her lonely existence.
She reached again for her phone and flicked to Joseph’s name. She needed to hear his voice. Just hearing him call her ‘Mum’ would put everything right again. Her finger hovered over the dial button. She dropped the phone. This wasn’t her. She wasn’t going to be the sad person who relied on their child for emotional support. This was her mess, after all. Even Stephen’s affair she should have seen coming, if she’d kept her eyes open. It certainly shouldn’t have blindsided her like it had. It all came down to her. And she wasn’t going to inflict herself on anyone else. It would have just been nice if she could have had someone to talk to about it.
A little bell tinkled above her head, as she stepped through the café doorway.
‘Sorry, we closed at six.’ He didn’t turn around from the table he was wiping down.
‘But the door was unlocked.’
‘I was just doing a bit of tidying. We’re open tomorrow at— oh.’ He stopped mid-turn, eyes wide with surprise. ‘This is unexpected.’
‘Well, I realised I’ve gone off without paying for two coffees now. I didn’t want you to think I’m a serial cadger.’
‘The second one was just instant, not a proper coffee.’
‘True, all right then, so just one.’
A smile curled up at the corners of his mouth.
‘I guess that’s pretty honest of you. But the till’s already cashed up, so you’ll have to come back another day to pay your debts.’
‘I guess that means the coffee’s off too?’
‘In here it is.’ He grinned. ‘Just give me a second.’
While he finished something behind the counter, she took the time to observe her surroundings. Perhaps she’d been a little harsh about the aesthetics when she was last here. There was a certain allure to the place. The ambience was gentle and understated, even if it did smell of wheatgrass.
‘Right,’ he said, wiping his hands on what looked like a hessian sack. ‘That’s me done. Just need to head back to the shop.’
She had a sudden attack of nerves. When she’d left her office, with the sun starting its descent, this had felt like the perfect place to head to. The only place she could think of, in fact. Now she was here, it very much looked like she was about to impose on someone who was a virtual stranger.
‘Do you know what? I’ll just leave you the money. It’s fine. I shouldn’t be disturbing you.’
‘You’re not.’
‘But you’re busy.’
‘Says who?’
‘Well you look busy.’
‘Do I?’ He shrugged. ‘I’m not. In fact, I was trying to make a concerted effort not to be busy. That’s why I closed early. You hungry?’
‘I… well…’ Her attempt to escape had been scuppered.
‘Great. Like I said, we just need to pop to the shop.’
He opened the front door, causing the little bell to jingle again.
‘My name’s Rory, by the way. I thought I should tell you, given that I’ve just invited you to my flat, which is not something I tend to do with people until I learn their first name.’
‘Your flat?’
‘Is that a problem?’
She took a moment to study him. There had been a time when she’d considered herself a good judge of character. Sure, Stephen was never perfect, but there had been a lot of good in there. Generally, she hit the nail on the head when it came to clients too. And while she wasn’t – recent evidence notwithstanding – in the habit of following young men to their apartments, something about him was different.
‘Fiona,’ she said.
With a grin, he opened the door wider.
‘After you,’ he said.