Chapter 31
31
By the time they left, it was agreed. Fiona was going to take them on and find them – in seven days – a venue, including all catering, presentation facilities, the lot. In return, it was going to be a green event. No goodie bags filled with plastic crap.
‘We are with you on that, man,’ Caleb enthused.
‘I’ll need all your marketing material, any images or graphics you want included, ASAP.’
‘I’ll send them to you now,’ Jenny replied. ‘I’ll give you everything we’ve got.’
‘And I need you to know that this won’t have all the bells and whistles I’m usually known for. I mean, I will do the very best that I can for you, I really will, with only one week to play with.’ She exhaled heavily. ‘But most companies would be talking to me at least three months in advance and even that would be pushing it.’
‘Honestly, whatever you can do.’
Despite the spikey choker, Jenny looked a pitiful sight. When did I become so sentimental? Fiona wondered.
Standing, she signalled the end of the meeting.
‘All right, I’ll spend tonight and tomorrow seeing what I can pull together, and we’ll catch up on Monday.’
‘Thank you,’ Jenny said, looking relieved. ‘We just want to make a good impression. Shit, I feel like such an idiot! I mean, if this goes wrong, they could pull out, think we’re not up to it and there goes all our backing.’
‘Don’t worry.’ Fiona rested a hand on her shoulder. ‘I’ll handle this.’
She walked them to the stairs with a strange feeling of déjà vu, like waving Joseph off on his first school bus trip.
‘So…’ She turned around and faced Annabel who, returning with tortillas and drinks, had sat listening through a crack in the door. ‘We’ve got a lot of work to do!’
It was good. Frustrating, but good.
At six o’clock, Fiona packed up her computer and began to head home, although her phone was still pressed to her ear as she walked.
‘Honestly, that’s completely fine. I quite understand. No, it’s really last minute. Sure, maybe for the next one. I’ll definitely keep you in mind.’
She had rung around close to thirty venue hotels already, all with nothing available.
‘What about that old church on Hawkins Street?’ Annabel had suggested.
‘Tried it. There’s an arts festival on next week that’s booked up a lot of places. Then there are all the usual midweek weddings and I think someone said something about a fashion show.’
‘And the hotels?’
‘I’ll have to try some of them again tomorrow. Half the events teams had packed up and gone home for the day.’ She sighed. ‘I just want something really special for them.’
‘You’ll do it.’ Annabel had smiled reassuringly. ‘I know you will.’
Dragging herself home, Fiona’s hands, legs and every joint between her neck and her ankles throbbed. With over two weeks spent on, essentially, gardening leave from proper work, she’d forgotten how exhausting the job could be. The minute she stepped inside the house, she was going to kick off her heels and pour herself a large glass of something. That was the plan at least. However, when she reached her front door, it got unexpectedly derailed.
‘What are you doing here?’
An icy sensation prickled across her skin.
Pushing himself up from the step, Rory looked at her.
‘What do you think? I came to see you. You haven’t replied to my messages. I thought something was wrong. You didn’t tell me anything about yesterday; I was worried.’
‘Well, there’s nothing for you to worry about. You can go now. Come to think of it, how did you even know where I live?’
‘You gave me your address, remember? You were going to cook me dinner.’
Huffing, she reached into her pocket for her keys and waited for him to move aside.
‘Look,’ she said, when he still hadn’t budged. ‘I’ve had one hell of a day. Seriously. And right now, I’m on the edge. I really don’t need you here to be the tipping point.’
He frowned. ‘What am I missing here? What’s happened? I thought we were getting on great. Better than great.’
‘Yeah, me too.’
‘Then what’s this about?’
Sighing, she pushed past him and jabbed her key into the lock. It wasn’t a key that stuck, or at least it never had before, but she was having an unusual amount of difficulty making it work.
‘Here.’ He wrapped his arms around her shoulders. ‘Let me help.’
‘I don’t need your help!’ She shrugged him off as the key finally turned.
Once again, despite every part of her willing them not to, her eyes started to fill up. Looking at the sky, she attempted to blink her tears away. She didn’t want him to think he was the cause. He definitely wasn’t. It was exhaustion. Exhaustion from dealing with idiots. Exhaustion from battling every day and not just the last couple of weeks, she realised, but for years. Battling to be heard in a room where men’s voices always got the attention. Battling to be taken seriously as a woman business owner, even by her own husband. Battling balancing being a good mum, a fair mum, one her son could turn to, with all the other demands on her. She was just exhausted.
‘Fiona, please, just talk to me. I can see you’re upset.’
Throwing her bag into the hall, she turned to face him.
‘Do you know who should be upset?’ she asked. ‘Your girlfriend.’
‘My girlfriend?’
‘Or wife. Or whoever it was you were cosied up to in the café yesterday.’
This was like dealing with Stephen all over again. No denials, no excuses or explanations. Just his skin turning pale as the blood drained from it.
‘See, not so easy to lie now, is it?’ she demanded, stepping through the doorway, about to push the door closed.
He caught it with his hand. ‘Fiona, please.’
‘I popped by to say hi, that was all. Just thought it would be nice to see you.’
‘Please, let me explain. It’s not like that.’
‘No, it never is.’
‘I swear. It wasn’t my girlfriend. I don’t have a girlfriend. Or a wife. It was my daughter. I was with my daughter.’
The door was still wedged open, his foot now blocking it from closing.
‘Please. I should have told you about her, I know now I should. But if you’ll let me come in, I’ll explain. I promise. I’ll explain everything.’
What was it with her and falling for a sad face today? she scolded herself. Wife or daughter, she didn’t want to hear any more. Yet, as she stepped inside, she left the door open behind her.
The need for wine was replaced by one for something stronger, for spirits. Pouring herself a vodka tonic, which she’d finished before even sitting down, an awkward silence hung between them. He was clearly waiting to see if she was going to offer him one too. She didn’t.
‘We got married young,’ Rory started, realising that she had no intention of playing the hostess.
‘How young?’
‘Nineteen.’
‘Jeez, that was young. Were you religious or something?’
He chucked briefly, only for his face to fall again.
‘No, we were not religious. We were just in love. We’d been together since we were fourteen. We were in love, and we thought we’d be together forever.’
‘And you weren’t.’
He scoffed. ‘I was a kid playing at being grown up. I didn’t know what responsibility meant. I thought I did. I was working in a kitchen and wanted to be a chef. And when Shelly – that’s my ex – when she fell pregnant, I was so excited. Kept thinking about all these amazing things me and this kid were going to do together. We’d head out on hikes, go camping. Maybe we’d learn to ski or sail – all of those typically cheesy things.’
She allowed herself a small smile, despite her own growing sense of sadness at this description of young love.
‘I was delusional. I didn’t know what it was like to have a kid. Of course, I didn’t. I was still one myself. And when Pippa was born, from day one, everything changed. I felt I’d had to give up my whole life, everything I’d dreamed about, you know, for this screaming child. It’s tough to admit, but I did. And it wasn’t as if Pippa even wanted to be with me, either. Any time I’d try to help, try to give Shelly a break, she would scream the whole house down, like I was the worst person that she could possibly be left with. She would go purple in the face.’
‘All babies do that.’
‘I know that now, of course. I know lots of things now. But, back then, I didn’t.’
‘So, you left,’ she said.
‘Deep down I knew that I was leaving for me. That I was leaving to get my life back. But I’d managed to convince myself that everyone would be so much better off without me. I packed up and I went travelling. Didn’t look back. By the time I grew up enough to realise what a dick I’d been, Shelly had moved on, and Pippa had a new man in her life who she called Daddy.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t be. It’s not your fault. It was my own doing.’
‘So now? Are you and Pippa close?’ She handed him a vodka of his own.
‘We’re working on it. I think we’ll always be working on it, if I’m honest. For a while, I got angry, really angry. Decided I was going to fight for her. I wasn’t going to have another man being called Daddy by my baby girl. It just wasn’t going to happen. So I got myself a lawyer, went to court, the whole nine yards. Social service visits. Family counselling. God, I dragged them through everything I could. Honestly, I’ve done a few things in my life that I’m not particularly proud of. But the way I treated Shelly during those years… that’s the worst of it.’
She could see the pain in his eyes, as if it were only yesterday.
‘What happened then?’
With a small sniff, he reached down and lifted the glass to his lips. ‘I was angry,’ he said, after taking a sip. ‘It went on for years. The court dates, the solicitors. And then Pip was about to start secondary school. You know, she was a proper person. Not just a kid any more. And I had visitation rights. I just didn’t think it was enough. That was why I was still fighting. But I was starting to see a change in her. The resentment she had for me. She’d have never said anything – she’s too much like her mum – but it was there. And then, one day, I was standing outside the courthouse, waiting to see the judge. And I saw them all: Shelly’s family. And that was when it hit me.’
‘What did?’
‘All the pain. The pain that I was causing them. Me kicking up like that, it wasn’t helping anyone. Especially not Pippa. I knew Shelly would be in the same boat as me, having to use up all her savings to keep fighting. I’d known that I probably wouldn’t stand a chance, but if I couldn’t take my daughter from her, then I’d at least take everything else: her money, her time, even her new relationship, if I could. And that was when I had my eureka moment.’
For the first time since he’d started, he looked from the ground, directly at her. ‘I did lie to you. I said this whole lifestyle thing was a gradual change. That I wasn’t like you. But the fact was, it was exactly the same. I watched as Shelly kissed Pippa goodbye and then kissed this guy – Ted, his name is – and Pippa took his hand. She had a brother by then as well – two, now. And they were all there together. And they looked like such a perfect family. They are a perfect family. No matter what I was putting them through, they were sticking this out together. And I was trying to ruin it all for them. And why? Because I screwed up. Me. It was all on me. Ted hadn’t done anything. Shelly hadn’t. God knows, Pip couldn’t do anything bad if she tried. And yet there I was doing my best to tear their lives apart, to make myself feel better.’
‘So, what happened then?’
‘I apologised.’
‘Just like that?’
A sad, but coy, smile appeared for the first time.
‘Let’s say I grovelled. A lot. Promised to do things on their terms. If that was leaving Pippa alone, then that was what I was going to do. Believe me, it’s taken us a long time to get where we are now. And things are still far from perfect, but Shelly’s a great mum. Puts Pippa first no matter what. She’d never wanted me out of her life.’
‘And where does the shop fit into all this?’
‘My dad. He died only a couple of months after that day. It was part of the reason I changed so much too. I decided to do something good in this world, so I took all the money he left me and ploughed it into the business. Every last penny. That’s why it was so important to me that it worked.’
Fiona lifted her glass back up to her lips and held it there a moment, before remembering it was empty and lowering it back down again.
‘You could have told me all this.’
He nodded slowly. ‘I could have. I should have, but I just didn’t feel ready. You seemed to see me like some kind of rock, and I liked that. Honestly, it was the first time in a long time that anyone had looked at me like I was the one who had it all together. I liked being this stable person you could rely on. I didn’t want to ruin that illusion and disappoint you.’
She fought back the urge to reach out and touch him.
‘So, you lied?’
‘I know. I know I did. I guess I just wanted you to get to know the good parts of me, before you learned about all the screwed-up bits.’
‘Ah, yes,’ she smiled. ‘I went for the same approach too. You may have noticed. I definitely showed you my best side first.’
His small smile became somewhat more substantial.
‘Yeah, I definitely noticed that.’
This time, her hands didn’t hesitate. They reached across and took hold of his.
‘And now?’ she asked.
‘And now it’s whatever you want it to be.’
And at that moment, she knew exactly what that was.