Chapter Twenty-Six
River is still knocked out, but Ryder has tied him to a tree trunk as a precaution.
Ryder claims that River won’t be able to use his powers of Influence while the moon still hangs high in the sky.
He left to find some ingredients to create a memory loss serum and assured me he would be back before sunrise.
That’s his new plan. It’s pretty genius, really.
I sit on the wooden bench in the forest, keeping a close eye on River.
I can’t help but feel a sadness run through my body.
Ryder was right. River is too good to like someone like me, and now he is going to forget everything important about me…
about us. I tried to be normal, and look where it got me.
I pick up a stone and fiddle with it in my fingers.
“I’m sorry, River,” I say to him, even though I know he can’t hear me.
The pit in my stomach won’t go away. I can’t believe this is what my life has become.
To think, two days ago, the only thing I was worried about was which of the Sun Gods would visit me.
Now Oriah has thrown a colossal spanner in the works.
I hear a grunt, and I know River is waking up.
He lifts his head slowly and looks around at his surroundings, confused.
His eyes meet mine. He doesn’t even try to fight the rope; instead, he just looks at me defeated, and my heart sinks.
This isn’t me. This isn’t what I do. The guilt is overwhelming, but I can’t think of another way to protect my secret.
Oriah’s words still haunt me: ‘If they find out about you, they will want you dead.’ This is bigger than just me.
“Asha, why?” His sad eyes torment me. I can’t face him; I have to look away.
“I had to; trust me, this is for the best,” I say, throwing the rock into the depths of the forest.
“Trust you? How can I trust you when you keep lying to me?” He has a point; I did lie, but I did it because I didn’t have a choice. I’m not lying about my race, though.
“I wasn’t lying,” I sigh and play with my fingers again.
“You were being serious?” I nod, waiting for another insult, but it doesn’t come.
“So, there is an ancient race, the Starkind. And you’re one of them?” he asks.
“Honestly, I wish it weren’t true…but it is,” I say and walk over to him. “But I never wanted to hurt you. I didn’t mean to trap you. I was so scared I had killed you.”
I go to stroke his face, but he flinches at my touch. A tear rolls down my cheek.
“This is the only way… I can’t have you getting hurt again.”
“What are you going to do?” he asks, probably fearing my response.
“Ryder has gone to make a memory loss serum. One drop and you won’t remember any of this.”
“What if I don’t want to forget?” He drops his head at this, and I can’t help but feel sorry for him. I’m taking away his memories.
“Do you really think you could carry on knowing what you know?” I ask. “You can’t even look at me.”
“Yeah, well, maybe you’re right,” he says, staring at the floor in front of him. “But it doesn’t change how I feel about you.”
“How you felt about me, you mean?” I say, remembering the disgust on his face moments earlier.
“No. Feel, Asha. I can’t just turn my feelings off for you. Believe me, I wish I could.”
I smile regretfully at him, and our conversation is interrupted by the sounds of Ryder’s footsteps coming this way.
“What did I miss?” Ryder says, sarcasm lacing his words. He holds a blue serum in his hand, which he throws over to me.
River kisses his teeth and turns his head in the opposite direction to Ryder.
“Ermm, nothing,” I say, rising to my feet and examining the blue solution Ryder threw to me. I take a long breath out. “Right, let’s get this over with.”
I bend down to his level, getting ready to administer the serum.
“W-wait!” River shouts. “B-before you start. I know I will hate myself if I don’t say this before I forget…
but be careful with him.” He looks over at Ryder.
“You’re doing this because you don’t want me to get hurt?
Well, I don’t want you to get hurt either…
He’s a Moon, Asha. They’re all the same. ”
I look away, trying to brush off what he is telling me. Ryder wouldn’t hurt me, would he?
“You have to remember, I’m half Moon too,” I counter.
“But I won’t remember, will I? Just promise me you are going to be careful… Please.”
I meet his eyes and nod my head.
“Okay, give me the elixir,” he says, and I pour it carefully into his mouth, watching him gulp it down.
“The date didn’t go well; you only see Asha as a friend.
She went back to her dorm, and you fancied a walk in the woods.
You drank too much and passed out,” I say, knowing that my lie will register to him as truth in his hypnotic state.
The friend part hurt the most, but I know it’s for the best. No more Asha and River.
I watch as his eyes glaze over. He nods his head, and I know the serum has worked.
Ryder unties him, and we both move behind a tree to hide from him when he comes to.
River gets to his feet, confusion plastered on his face.
“What am I doing here?” I hear him whisper. “That drink was lethal.”
He stumbles a little and briskly walks back toward Sun property.
Ryder and I share a sigh of relief. Crisis averted. So why is the pit in my stomach still there?
I get up and walk further into the forest as sadness takes over me. I hear Ryder behind me.
“Asha?” he calls out, but I ignore him.
“Asha.” He speeds up and grabs my arm, making me turn back to face him.
He can see the sadness on my face, and the floodgates open.
Tears stream down my cheeks, and I can’t see clearly over the wall of water in my eyes.
I feel a warm embrace as Ryder pulls me in for a hug.
I lose myself in his bear-like grip and sob into his chest.
“You did good… Stalker,” he says, chuckling a bit at his ‘stalker’ line.
This makes me laugh, and I playfully push at his stomach and wipe the tears out of my eyes. I stand in front of him and smile up at his face, which is empathetic.
It’s funny; this is the first time I’ve seen him show a typical human emotion.
He looks kind of innocent, and for some reason, I have never found him more attractive.
He catches me staring in thought and quickly changes his face back to his normal, harsh self.
Gods forbid he actually lets himself be vulnerable for one minute.
“You know you can’t be the same around him as you used to,” he says, crossing his arms in a lecturer-type way.
I wipe my eyes again and nod at him, but my eyes drift off to the side.
“I’m serious. If he’s around you too long, the effects of the serum may wear off. Do you understand this?”
“Yes, I understand,” I say in a huff as I shift in my stance.
He’s right. We’ve gone through so much to keep my secret; the last thing we need is River’s veil slipping.
“I will keep my distance.”
He nods down at me, which sends a shiver down my spine. The sun is rising now, giving Ryder an orangey glow to his face, which is somehow making him even more appealing. I can’t believe we have been out all night.
“Okay, then,” he says, also shifting slightly in his space. “I guess this is goodbye.”
He looks towards the sunrise as a sign that he should be turning in now.
“Yes, I guess it is,” I say, looking up at his dark chocolate eyes. “Thank you for your help. I couldn’t have done it without you.”
“Just take it as you owing me one.” He winks before turning to walk back to Moon Sovereign.
“Wait!” I call out to him as Oriah’s words repeat in my mind - ‘You know the way of the Sun now you must learn the way of the Moon.’
He turns back and walks closer to me until we are face-to-face again.
“Can’t bear to see the back of me?” He smiles again, making me want to melt right there and then. My cheeks blush. He’s not wrong, but luckily for me, that is not what I want to talk about.
“I was thinking… Oriah said I need to learn the way of the Moon.” A pause encompasses us. “Will you teach me?” I ask, waiting for him to shut me down.
“Sure,” he says almost too quickly for me to register.
“Really? You’re not going to make a joke about me just wanting to see you more, or something?” I ask, genuinely surprised by his lack of cheekiness.
“The way I see it, the sooner you learn to control your Gifts, the sooner I can stop cleaning up your messes,” he says with a shrug.
I suppose he has a point, but I can’t help feeling a little offended at this. I shouldn’t complain, though; at least it means I get to spend more time with him. I nod, trying to hide the disappointment on my face.
“And I suppose it wouldn’t be a bad thing to see more of you,” he adds, scratching the back of his neck and smirking, resulting in my cheeks turning a scarlet colour. I try to fight the smile forming on my lips, but it beats me.
I hear him laugh as he turns to walk away.
“Tomorrow, twelve a.m., use the tunnel in the archives.”
“Okay… Bye, Ryder,” I respond, watching him walk away.
“Bye, stalker,” he says, disappearing into the trees.