21
‘This Love’
—Taylor Swift
Scott
The next time I saw Lara was on New Year’s Eve. I don’t know if she broke things off with Isaac, but as we walk into her house, he was nowhere to be seen.
I look at Lara, who’s dressed in pajamas, still looking very exhausted. My eyes immediately find the butterfly necklace around her neck, making me smile. I walk over to her, my shoes dragging across the hardwood floor.
“Hey, Butterfly." She looks up at me, her big brown eyes digging into my soul.
“Hey, Scotty.” She gives me a slight smile.
“What happened with Isaac?”
“I told him I didn’t want to be with him, he got mad, yelled at me, then said it’s because of you. He packed his things up and left last night.” My heart pounds in my chest.
“He left?”
“Yeah, he did.” Now I feel like shit, but he deserves it. He deserves to be in jail. “Do you want to get out of here? Go to a party or something?” I ask her, I watch her eyes light up at the word party.
“Let’s go.”
**
She changed into something casual, put on some makeup, and did her hair before we headed out the door.
I drove her to Landon’s house for his annual New Year's party.
It happens every year since sophomore year, since he’s a senior, it’s the last one, so it has to be the biggest.
I went every year, and I didn’t want to miss out this year.
I usually just hung out with Ashton, Danny, and Axel the whole party, we get drunk or high, and have a huge blast.
I know parties aren’t my safe space. I just like to have fun once in a while.
I pull into the huge driveway. He owns a really big house right outside Olympia. His parents go on vacation for New Year's, so he has time to hire cleaners before his parents get back.
“Wow,” I hear Lara whisper under her breath.
I look over at her, still trying to park.
I stare at her pink, pouty lips, wondering what it would be like to kiss her.
I get where she’s coming from; she doesn’t want to ruin our friendship.
‘Not at first, no. It took a while to convince her I was a good man until she finally kissed me at midnight on New Year's.’
Maybe I will kiss Lara at midnight tonight. Live up to grandpa’s legacy.
“It’s huge,” I say back to her. I step out of the car, already hearing the music and the loud chatter of the guests. I open the car door for her, watching her step out.
We walk inside, letting the smell of alcohol fill my lungs. Lara grips my arm. I look around the house and spot Danny and Ashton.
“Scott!” Ashton waves us over, Lara immediately lets go of my arm, dropping it by my side. “I didn’t think you were coming.”
“Well, here I am.” I give them a sarcastic bow.
We talk, Lara doesn’t drink anything, I think it’s because of her hangover last time she drank.
“How was your guy's trip?” I don’t want to tell them we kissed. I know Lara doesn’t want them to know.
“It was good.” Lara answers, not elaborating on anything else. I know exactly why.
“I like your necklace.” Ashton points to her neck. He was there when I bought it. Lara grips the necklace charm tightly, sliding it back and forth across the chain.
“Thank you,” she replies.
A big crowd of people crowd outside, it’s time to let off the fireworks. Ashton and Danny rush outside, leaving Lara and me and a few other stragglers left in the house.
“Ten, nine, eight…” I hear a big group of people chanting. I step closer to Lara, closer and closer, until suddenly she’s backed into a wall.
“Scotty…” she mumbles, staring at me with her puppy dog eyes.
“Four, three, two.” One. I crash my lips against her, my eyes flicker shut, cupping the back of her head, angling the kiss in the most perfect spot.
She kisses me back almost immediately, and I smile into the kiss.
Every word we never said seems to disappear.
Her fingers curl into the fabric of my jacket as the fireworks explode outside.
“Butterfly…” I pull back from the kiss, panting, looking her straight in the eye. All I see is the girl I’m in love with. I love her. “Let’s get out of here.” I watch her nod in agreement.
**
Everyone is at Lara’s house for New Year's, so we go to mine.
I unlock the door, stepping inside with her.
She hasn’t been to my house in a while. I watch her look around at the pictures, picking up little trinkets off the shelf.
She examines a glass bird. I know she’s just stalling because she’s nervous.
“Cool bird,” she murmurs.
“Come here,” I demand. I watch her turn around to face me, giving me a nervous look.
Hesitantly, she steps forward. I pull her into another kiss, and she kisses me back.
This one's slower, more tame. I am kissing Lara Mae, and I love it.
She pulls away suddenly. I feel my heart stop, the blood draining out of my face.
“I’ve never done anything before.” Relief fills me; she’s just nervous. She isn’t going to leave me this time.
“We aren’t going to have sex if that’s what you mean.”
“I’m okay with that.” I smile.
“We can just kiss.”
5 years later
‘The Man Who Can’t Be Moved’’
— The Script
Scott
“Brother!” Amara shouts, running towards me as I pull into the driveway. I step out of the car, my smile rising as I see her excited face.
“Mari!” I pull her into a huge hug, since it’s been a while since I last saw her. My parents walk outside laughing, but my mom immediately notices something's wrong.
“Amara, go inside. I need to talk to Scott.” My mom says Amara pouts, but does what she’s told to do. I sit down on the porch bench next to my mom.
“What’s going on?” My mom asks me.
I don’t want to talk to her about it. I already know she wants the best for Lara, and I’m not the best. I’m not even the best for me; I’m not a good person to myself, so how can I be a good person for the one person I love?
“I confessed to Lara again, but she rejected me. I ruined our friendship.” I explain..
“You’re talking to Lara again?” She tilts her head.
“We became friends 2 months ago. I guess I never mentioned it.” I tell her everything—from running into Lara again to Danny’s accident, to the confession in the plaza.
“Honey, I don’t think you’re a bad person. I think Lara just isn’t ready to trust you again. She’s still healing from the past. It takes time.” I nod. Time. That’s what I need to give her. I can’t force her to rush into a relationship with me; it’s just wrong.
“I made you guys snacks!” My dad calls out, carrying a tray piled with loaded nachos.
“Okay, one second!” My mom shouts back.
“I love you, kid. You’re always welcome here when you have time. I always watch your games on TV. I’m proud of you.” I smile, she’s proud of me.
I head inside to eat some snacks my dad made. I’m leaving at 3 am. I tried not to match up my flight with Lara. I already messaged my team manager and told him I’m ready to play again.
“Brother, I saw you on TV!” Amara tells me she looks really excited.
“I know, I’m on TV a lot,” I tell her.
“I want to be on TV!” She turns to my mom, jumping up and down with excitement. “Mommy, can I be on TV?!”
My mom just laughs and shakes her head. “You have to be famous, and Scott’s famous.”
“Really? People ask you to sign things?”
“Yup, tons and tons of people.” She enjoys me telling her these things, so I stretch the truth a little more than I should.
“How about you take Scott to the park?” My mom says.
“What park?” The only park I remember is across town.
“They built a blacktop with some basketball hoops.” My dad says, stuffing his face with the nachos.
“Really?” Where was this when I was in high school?
“C’mon!” Amara tugs on my sleeve.
**
I let out a low whistle when I see the brand new hoops. Fresh blacktop stretched across the park. The white lines are still bright against the pavement. There were already a few kids shooting around.
“Race you!” Amara shouts, taking off towards the closest hoop.
“Hey, no fair!” I laugh, jogging after her.
She reaches the hoop first and throws her tiny arms into the air. “I win!”
“Only because you’re a cheater.”
“Am not!”
“Here.” I hand her the ball. “Feet shoulder-width apart.”
“Bend your knees.”
“Like this?”
“Perfect.”
She bends her knees.
And then…
She misses.
“Aw.” She pouts. I catch the rebound, dribbling it back to the three-point line, then shoot.
“Whoa.”
“With enough practice, you could be in the WNBA,” I tell her.
“What’s that?”
“It stands for Women’s National Basketball Association. It’s professional basketball for women.”
“I’m short though.” Amara sounds disappointed.
“Mom’s tall. You’ll probably grow a lot.” I ruffle her hair. “You’re still a kid.”
“I love you, big bro.” I blink in surprise.
“I love you too, kiddo.”
Lara
New York feels empty without Scott and Aurora.
I have no one to hang out with, which gives me time to work on my book.
I finished the ending too. It’s been 2 weeks since his love confession.
Christmas is in 9 days, and I have no one to spend it with.
Scott has a huge game on Christmas, which I won’t be attending.
Chapter 47
This time, I won’t give Dylan a chance to redeem himself, because he doesn’t understand where he went wrong.
Dylan was my first love, and maybe, in another life, one where he understood what he broke, he could’ve been my last.
But not this one. Loving him didn’t just break my heart; it rewired it.
I started second-guessing myself, where I went wrong, if I was pretty enough, if I was too much to handle.
Every memory of us turned into evidence against me, like somehow I had been the reason it all fell apart.
I started shrinking myself without even realizing it, thinking maybe if I took up less space, he’d finally stay.
That’s what loving him did to me. It’s over now.
I’ll always be grateful that he taught me how deeply I could love.
I’ll never be grateful for what loving him cost me.
The end.
I immediately emailed my publisher the finished manuscript and the cover print, telling her I want a paperback of the book.
Now I’m stuck waiting to hear back from her.
I shut my laptop, walking to the kitchen to make myself something to eat.
I miss hanging out with Scott even though it hasn’t been very long.
I want to take him back. I just can’t let myself be hurt like that again.
How am I supposed to trust the man who broke me? How am I supposed to just forgive him?
I take my leftover Chinese takeout from the fridge and begin chomping down on the orange chicken before heating it. In my opinion, it tastes better when it's cold. Leftovers are like the best thing ever, unless it’s mac and cheese.