25
‘Franklin House’
—Brenn!
Lara
“There is no us.” That is what he said before driving away, leaving me alone in this shitty town. He graduated early and moved away to college without saying a word to me.
I stood outside his house for ten minutes, convincing myself he was going to open the door and laugh at how dramatic I was being.
He didn’t answer the door.
His mom did.
I was hoping to fix things; maybe things had blown over. But he was serious, so he left. I tried checking his Instagram, but every picture was deleted, and he unfollowed me. I feel like living is a burden every day.
“I still can’t believe he would do that!” Ashton shouts, pacing back and forth across my bedroom. I still can’t believe he would do it either.
“Me neither,” Danny says, pinching the bridge of his nose, trying to get rid of the headache he has from my constant crying. They haven’t left my side.
They found me in the middle of the parking lot, curled up into a ball, crying. I was hoping I’d get run over by a car.
Now Scotty’s living his single life in Kentucky, playing basketball. Leaving me to pick up the pieces of his absence.
“Lara, he literally spent hours at the mall finding your Christmas present! We talked about you at lunch! He has loved you forever. What the fuck. What the fuck. WHAT THE FUCK!”
Ashton is very confused by the situation; he has no clue that Scotty would do something like that to me. I started writing letters to him.
Dear Scotty,
I hope your flight to Kentucky emergency lands into the Bermuda Triangle.
Love, Lara!
They aren’t very productive, they sure as hell aren’t getting me out of this pit of depression.
“Lara, I’m sorry this is happening. Scott is just figuring things out for himself.”
“I’m done talking about Scotty,” I announce. “Let’s talk about your love lives. Like Ashton, how are things going with Axel?”
“Do you mean Marcus?” Marcus, his prom date.
“No, Axel.”
Ashton looks at me with a confused look for a while before Danny butts in. “She ‘knows’ Axel has a crush on you.”
“That’s crazy… We are just friends.” Ashton laughs sarcastically, I sit up in bed fast.
“So I’m right?!” I shriek. I watch Ashton’s face turn red.
“We were just hooking up, that's it.”
“Oh my god, really?” Danny asks. My excitement is clear on my face; at least I got something right, after being wrong that Scotty would forgive me and come back.
“Remember when he got rejected? I think it’s because I told him I didn’t want to hook up with him anymore, I wanted to see other people romantically. I didn’t think it was me at first, but it was.”
I think he’s talking to Danny because I’ve never heard about Axel being rejected.
Scotty would love to know I was right. Right, I can’t tell him anymore.
“So Lara was right? Wow.”
Lara
“Come here, child.” Grams holds her arms out wide, and I rush into them.
They drove all this way to visit me at home.
She squeezes me as tight as she can, but she's been pretty weak recently.
“I brought cookies.” I laugh between tears.
Life has been so hard recently, ever since Scotty left. Maybe everything was pretend.
“Come give your grandpa a hug.” I look behind Grams to see my grandpa wearing a blue plaid shirt and his hat. I hug him too, wiping the snot from my nose. My eyes are red and puffy from crying.
We walk over to sit down on the couch. Gram is greeting my parents, so it’s just my grandpa and me. I know he’s about to give me some wise advice.
“Scott loves you,” he starts. I want to scream, “He doesn’t!” but maybe my grandpa is right.
“Then why did he leave?” I ask quietly, the question rings in the back of my mind like an alarm that I can’t turn off, a clock I can only snooze, but it doesn’t last for long. No one has the answer to any of my questions.
“I bet it was hard for him to leave, too.” He explains. “Scott told me he loved you before you even started dating. He told me he loved you while he was visiting.”
“He was faking it.” I try to make myself believe. I don’t know what could be true or not.
“You’ll meet again, when everything is calm.”
I want to believe that, but when I meet him again, will I still have this grudge against him?
“Kiddo, he cut off his family. That’s how serious this is. Whatever’s going on in his head will become clearer; he just needs space. I know you can’t forgive him immediately, and I know that you shouldn’t, but you’ll forgive him one day.”
He clears his throat to continue speaking.
“You may not date again, you may not be friends again, but you’ll have that closure.”
“But we had such a good relationship.” I burst back into tears. “I don’t want closure, I want him.”
“Oh, honey.” He pulls me back into a hug.
“You know the best way to get over a man is to get under another one!” Gram shouts to try to make me feel better. I laugh softly, but my chest still aches. It will always ache.
5 years later
‘Dress’
— Taylor Swift
Lara
“Grandpa, are you okay?” I ask as I frantically rush into the hospital room, seeing him connected to an IV drip. I see Grams in the chair next to the bed, holding onto his hand tightly, not tight enough to cause pain, though. He opens his eyes when he hears my voice.
He gives me a weak smile. “Damn heart won’t fail on me this time.”
He had a heart attack 10 years ago. His heart actually stopped.
This time, the doctors say it isn’t as severe.
I’m still worried sick about him. I love my grandpa, and I want him to attend my wedding…
if I ever have one. It seems like Scott doesn’t want anything to do with me since I rejected him.
I saw him win on TV, his basketball game.
I couldn’t care less.
I care so much.
“Where’s lover boy? I thought he would come with you.” My heart twists before shattering into a million pieces. I wish he would come with me, but he’s just an asshole who always chooses his career over the people who love him.
“Basketball game.”
“They got him working on Christmas, too, wow.” Grandpa grunts.
“He probably just didn’t want to come,” I explain.
“Of course he wanted to come, don’t say those silly things.” Grams pipes in. If he wanted to come, he’d be here right now. He isn’t.
“Child, Scott loves you. Why would he come if you rejected him? He thinks you don’t feel the same way.” Grams tells me. Is it true? Did he break my heart, or did I break his?
Scott
I’m frantically trying to finish Lara’s book on my flight from New York to Washington. It's a five-hour flight. I have plenty of time, yet I fell asleep, and now there’s only 1 hour left until we arrive at our destination. I need to tell Lara how I feel before it's too late.
I shut the book. I only brought my carry-on so I can leave. I immediately order a cab. I know she’s at the hospital right now because her Grams called me and told me it might be a good idea to figure out me and Lara’s messy relationship.
The cab gets stuck in Christmas day traffic, I hop out of the car and begin running towards the hospital.
Every word Lara wrote broke me all over again.
I did this to her, my legs burn, but I don’t stop.
I wipe sweat off my forehead, slowing my steps when I see her, standing outside the hospital.
Both her grandpa and her best friend were in the hospital. I feel so much pain for her.
“Lara!” I call out, she turns to me, then freezes. I keep walking after her until I’m in reach of her hand, and I pull her closer to me.
“I read it,” I say.
“You shouldn’t be here,” she tells me, but I don’t care. I need to tell her.
“I know.” I shake my head, stepping closer anyway. “I had a huge Christmas game. The stadium was packed, I won, but none of it mattered after I read the last page of your book.”
I clear my throat, trying to clear the lump. “Do you know what it felt like?” I ask quietly. “Reading about the girl I love, convincing herself she wasn’t enough because of something I did?”
“Scott-”
“No, just let me say this one thing.” My eyes are glassy, my throat has a lump in it. I desperately swallow, trying to make it go away. “You wrote our story like it was over. Like I was someone you had to outgrow to survive. But our story isn’t over, Butterfly. I’m not over you.”
Silence hangs between us.
“I’m not that guy anymore.” I tuck her hair behind her ear. “And I’m not here to ask you to forget what I did. I’m here because I finally understand it.”
I stare at her, waiting for her to say something, but she doesn’t. When she stays silent, I continue. “You spent hundreds of pages trying to say goodbye to me… and I’m standing here begging you to let me write the next chapter with you.”
“You loved me when I was still figuring out who I wanted to be. And I let the world convince me that loving you was something I had to hide… or give up.” I pause. “That’s the biggest mistake I ever made.”
“I tried to stop loving you,” Lara whispers.
“I know.” My voice cracks.
“I deleted pictures, blocked your number, told myself you were just a lesson I needed to learn.” A tear slides down her face. “But still every part of me looked for you in every crowded room, wishing you’d hold my hand.”
“Then let me spend the rest of my life making up for the years I left you waiting.”
She crashes her lips against mine in the middle of the hospital parking lot.
I don’t care though. I don’t care how many people are watching, I just need her.
Our first real kiss in five years, and it feels so right.
I wish I had confessed sooner. I wish I did everything right the first time.
I love where we are now. Not because she’s forgiven me—but because we finally chose each other.
My perfect little butterfly.
“I love you, Scotty.” She called me Scotty. I’m going to pass out from joy.
“I love you, Butterfly.” We may not be in high school still, but we still love each other the same, the same as we always will.
“Promise me you’ll never tell me we're just friends again.”
I laugh softly. “I promise.”
“Oh, and grandpa's fine, he’s getting discharged tonight.”
“Oh, perfect.”
“Tell me you love me one more time,” she whispers.
“I love you so much.”
“I love you too.” She returns.
We never were a perfect love story. We were messy, stubborn, and too young to understand that love isn’t enough when fear gets in the way.
We spent years becoming strangers, but we also get to spend the next years as lovers.
Considering the mess we’ve gone through I know we’ll never choose anything else over each other again.
In the end I chose Lara. Now for the next coming years I will always choose Lara.