Chapter 31
thirty-one
ASHER
She falls asleep almost immediately. I barely get a chance to clean her up – or offer her a real dessert – before she’s sprawled across my sheets like she belongs here.
Her hair is a wild halo on the pillow, one hand curled beneath her cheek and the other resting where I can feel the warmth of her on my chest.
I should be sleeping too. God knows I need it. But instead I lie here watching her, unable to look away.
I brush a strand of hair from her face, letting my fingers linger just long enough to memorize the softness of her cheek.
She sighs in her sleep, turning toward me like she knows I’m here and she needs me closer.
My chest tightens.
Before I can pull her against me, my phone buzzes from the nightstand, cutting through the silence. I slide out of bed and reach for it, the screen glowing in the dark.
Brad’s name is written in black.
Stepping into the hallway in only a pair of shorts, I answer quietly, pulling the door closed behind me.
They’ve been working all night. That’s what he said they’d do when he pushed me out of his house to go pick up Francie.
“Keep it normal. Don’t let anybody think you know we have a breach,” he’d told me. “We don’t want them to panic and hide.”
“What’s up?” I murmur, looking at the clock on the hallway wall. It’s past midnight. They all need to go home and get some sleep.
“We’ve found them,” Brad says. “The mole. We know who it is.”
FRANCIE
A pair of soft lips press against my mouth and I groan, my eyelids fluttering open to see Asher leaning over me. He’s fully dressed, in a suit and tie. And from the way his hair is damp he’s showered too.
“What time is it?” I murmur. The room is still dark, but I have no idea whether that’s due to some expensive blinds, or the fact that it’s not morning.
“Just before one.” He brushes a lock of hair out of my face. “I have to go to the office. Go back to sleep.”
I sit up. “Is something wrong?” I ask him.
He hesitates. Then lets out a soft breath. “Brad’s found something. He wants to take me through it.”
“And it can’t wait until morning?” My stomach tightens at the expression on his face. It’s tense. Like he’s trying not to boil over.
“No.” He shakes his head. “What time are you leaving for Virginia?”
“Eleven,” I tell him, trying not to show my nervousness. Yes, I love my brothers but I’m so scared they’re going to take my revelation poorly. “Will you be back before then?”
He shakes his head. “I don’t think so.” His phone vibrates. It’s only when he pulls it out that I realize it’s an old flip phone. Not a smart phone, just a handset that can make calls and send texts. He looks at whatever is on the small screen and winces. “My driver will take you to Virginia.”
“It’s okay. I have a ride.”
“I’d rather know you got there safely,” he says.
I force a smile onto my face, because he seems so different from the man who opened himself up to me only hours ago. “It’s fine. I’ll text you when I get there.”
He nods, but the crease in his brow doesn’t ease. He leans down to kiss me again, slower this time, his lips lingering like he’s trying to memorize the feel of mine.
When he finally straightens, I lace our fingers together.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I’m worried about him. “Maybe I shouldn’t have come here.”
I’m a distraction. I know that. And he has so much going on.
“I’m fine,” he says a little too fast. “Just need to deal with this shit.”
The breach. I open my mouth to ask him about it, but then his words from earlier in the night flash back into my memory.
I want to lose myself in you.
Everybody makes demands of him. His employees, his family, and whoever is trying to ruin his business. I don’t want to be that person. Yes, I want him to talk to me, but if there’s one thing I know about this man it’s that he’ll open up when he’s ready.
So I swallow the questions I have about what’s going on and nod.
“I’ll call you tonight,” I say instead. “To give you the low down on how my brothers take it.”
“Are you worried about their reaction?” he asks.
I shrug, trying to be nonchalant. “It’s far beyond time they found out. I’m a romance author, not a serial killer. I don’t know why I built it up in my head for so long.” And it helps that Charlie’s coming along with me. He’s my ride.
He thinks it’s hilarious that I’m finally coming clean.
Asher nods, but there’s still that distant look on his face.
“Don’t worry,” I add, wondering if he’s worried about me disclosing our relationship as well.
“I’m not planning on overwhelming them with too many revelations at once.
I’ll start with the writing before easing them into the idea of us.
I’m not sure that ‘by the way, I’m dating this older guy I met at a sex club’ will go down well. ” I smile at him.
“Thanks for the PR strategy,” he says dryly.
“You’re welcome.” I sit up and reach for him.
He leans in instinctively, his arms wrapping around me, his mouth claiming mine. His kiss isn’t gentle. It’s hungry and hard and sends shots of desire through my body that have no place being there when he needs to leave.
But I kiss him back anyway. I don’t want to forget this. Don’t want to forget the way he feels. Not when I have to go face my family and tell them I’m not who they think I am.
When he pulls away, he stares at me for a moment, his breath soft against my cheek. I close my eyes and think about earlier. The way he felt as we made love, because that’s what it was.
The way he moved inside of me like he never wanted to stop.
The way he told me he was loving me.
I’m still not sure he realizes what he said. But those words are imprinted on my brain.
I’m falling in love with him. Or, let’s face it, I’ve fallen. I can’t be without him anymore.
And I don’t want to try.
I let out a ragged breath. I want to tell him how I feel. But it’s so not the right time. “Why does it always feel like we’re saying goodbye?” I ask.
Asher’s gaze holds mine. Then he leans in and presses his mouth against my brow, lingering for a beat too long.
Like it hurts to pull away.
“It’s not goodbye,” he says quietly. “We both have things to sort out. You’re going to face your brothers and finish your book. I’ve got to handle this shit with the breach. And then we’ll be together again.”
“Where?” It comes out before I can stop it. I hate feeling needy, but that’s what I am right now.
“Here,” he says. “Or Liberty. I don’t care. But we’ll be together. And we’ll make some plans.”
His words wrap around my heart like a promise.
“You’d better be there when I type the end,” I tell him. “I’ll want to celebrate.”
His lips curl into a genuine smile. “I’ll be there,” he promises. “I’m planning on giving you some ideas for the sequel.”
His phone buzzes again. He rolls his eyes, and I smile at him. “Good luck.”
He gives me a wink. “Right back at you. Let me know when you get to Virginia.”
“I will,” I promise.
He kisses me again, and then he’s gone. The door clicks behind him and I let myself fall back on the mattress, turning my head to his pillow. It’s still dented. Still smells of him.
Tomorrow is going to be interesting. But suddenly I’m not scared of my brothers’ reactions.
Because I finally know exactly what I want.