Chapter 33
thirty-three
FRANCIE
By the time I come back downstairs, freshly showered and wearing linen pants and a t-shirt, the smell of something delicious is wafting from the kitchen. I peek in to find Linc and Brooks bickering over pasta.
“Finally,” Linc says, grinning. “I need your help. You’re a woman of taste. Pasta should always be underdone, right?”
“Al dente.” I nod. “With a bite.”
The oversized table is set for seven, with linen napkins, crystal glasses, and the kind of silverware that only comes out when Mom’s hosting.
“Is all this for me?” I ask. Because my brothers aren’t usually ones for such pretense.
“Of course.” Myles says, sweeping in. “You’ve come home. It’s something worth celebrating.”
There’s a stupid lump in my throat that no swallow will get rid of. I let out a breath. “Thank you.”
“Always,” he says softly.
“Dinner’s up,” Linc calls out, always the domesticated one. When his son was born – Rowan who’s now twenty and breaking hearts at college – he took a sabbatical and became a house husband. “Brooks, take the salad and bread over. Myles, can you pour the wine? Everybody else, help me serve.”
For a minute or two, there’s complete mayhem. The kind you can only get in a big family, six of whom are all over six foot two. But finally we’re sitting down, eating Linc’s delicious carbonara, groans of appreciation echoing around the room.
I eat politely, carefully twirling the spaghetti around my fork the way my mom taught me, but my brothers eat like a pack of wolves who’ve been fasting for a year. And I can’t help smiling as they banter and bicker and steal food off each others’ plates.
It’s loud, warm, and just a little overwhelming. And it makes me feel like I’m part of something that I haven’t been for a long time.
Which makes it harder to bring up the thing I have to bring up. Ugh.
So I don’t. Not for a while. Instead we talk about everything and nothing. Eli’s coaching schedule, Liam’s new house project, the fact that their kids are growing up and making their gray hairs turn steely.
The food disappears faster than I thought humanly possible, and by the time I go to clear the plates – and am swatted away by Linc – the air is thick with satisfied sighs and the sound of wine glasses being refilled.
Then Myles clears his throat and my stomach tightens.
He’s at the head of the table, his posture straight, his hands clasped together like he’s chairing a meeting.
Which technically, he is, even if he doesn’t know it. I know I need to tell them. But right now, I feel like the food is sitting heavy in my stomach, my nerves twisting tighter with every laugh and bite.
“We should raise a toast to Francie.” He lifts his glass to me. “It’s good to see you.”
“To Francie,” my brothers say, lifting their glasses.
I give him a smile. “Thank you.”
“We wanted to talk to you about something,” Myles says once they’ve all swallowed down their wine. He glances around at the others. Every single one of them goes suddenly silent.
The hairs on the back of my neck prickle.
I look over at Linc. My pal. My closest brother. “This isn’t an ambush,” he tells me quickly, as though he can sense my unease. “It’s just… we’ve been talking. About you.”
“And we realized we’ve made some mistakes,” Myles says. “You’ve always been our little sister. But I think we forgot you’re also a grown up. A woman with her own dreams. And… we would like to be part of that. If you’ll let us.”
I open my mouth. This is it. “I can explain,” I say quickly. But Myles holds his hands up.
“It’s not your fault,” he says. “It’s all ours. We should have realized how excluded you felt. How hard it was to talk to us.”
“But I…”
“We want to help you build a cabin,” Linc blurts out.
I blink.
“What?” I look around at them. “Is that what you think this is about?”
“We all built our own cabins. Helped each other. Just as soon as we became adults.” Myles gaze catches mine. “You should have one, too. We didn’t even think about it. And that’s our faults. So we want to do that for you. As soon as possible. Work on designs, order the materials. Do it together.”
I’m not sure what I expected when I walked in here today, but it wasn’t this. A table set for me, a toast in my honor. And now this. An offer to be their actual sibling. Their equal.
To have my own place around the lake.
As a kid, I longed to be part of their tight knit group. They were all so much fun, so grown up. But also so much older than me, they were my dads more than my brothers.
But this offer. To build something permanent. Something mine.
Something they want to share with me.
It’s making me want to cry.
“Are you sure?” I whisper, the lump in my throat back with a vengeance.
“Of course.” Myles blinks. Because my brothers are many things. Overbearing, loud, mildly allergic to emotions. But they’ve never been disingenuous. And the way they’re all looking at me now, like they’re excited to make me part of this…
It makes my chest feel full.
I bite my lip because the last thing they need is for me to cry. They can only cope with so much emotion.
“Thank you,” I manage. “That means a lot.”
Linc gives me the softest of smiles. “We miss you. Whenever we’re together it feels like there’s something missing because you’re not there. We want you to have your own space. One that we can help you build. It’s important to all of us.”
I nod. “I love that, I really do.”
And then I pause, my finger tracing the rim of my wine glass. Because they’re being so open with me. They deserve the same respect.
“But there’s something you should know,” I say, taking a deep breath.
Linc’s face immediately falls. “Shit, are you pregnant?”
My mouth drops open. “What? Where did that come from? No. It’s not that.”
“It wouldn’t matter if she was,” Brooks points out. “She’s an adult, she can do whatever she likes.”
They start talking over each other again, and I have to pick up my spoon and hit it against my glass to get their attention.
“Can you all shut up?” I ask them. “I’m trying to talk here.”
They all have the good grace to do exactly that.
And then I do it. I look at them, the brothers who’ve always felt so distant but who feel so close right now.
“I’ve been lying to you all. I’m not a barista,” I tell them. “I’m a published writer. I write romance books. I’ve been publishing under a pen name for the last five years.”
There’s complete silence.
The kind you can only get in a room full of men who have absolutely no idea how to process what you’ve just said. I can see Myles’ fingers twitching, like he’s desperate to call his wife for advice.
“Wait,” Linc says. “Why didn’t you tell us?”
I pull my lip between my teeth. It’s so difficult to put it in a way they’ll understand.
“I guess at first I was afraid I might fail. And I didn’t want anybody knowing if I did.
And then, when they became popular, I was worried…
” That they’d interfere. But I can’t tell them that.
“I just wanted something that was mine, I suppose. Then the lie grew and it got too big to tell you.” I look at them. “I’m sorry.”
Myles winces. “No, I’m sorry,” he says. “That you didn’t trust us enough. That’s on us, not you.”
Linc blinks at me. “What kind of romance?”
I turn to look at him. “Fantasy. Romantasy, they call it.”
Linc nods. “Zoe is into those,” he says, talking about his stepdaughter. “I read one of them on a flight.” He looks at Brooks. “It was dirty as hell.” He starts to laugh and then trails off. “Wait. Are your books spicy?”
It’s so Linc that he even knows the term for sexy books. “Um, kind of,” I admit. “I guess they’re in the middle. But they’re about to get spicier.”
“In the middle?” Myles echoes. “What does that mean? And what the hell is spicy? Are there chilies in it?”
My lips twitch.
“It means it’s dirty,” Linc says, winking at me.
I roll my eyes back at him. He’s really not helping. So I turn to Myles.
“It means my romantic scenes don’t fade to black, but I also don’t write super sexy, descriptive books.” Until now. But we’ll deal with that later.
Brooks snorts into his wine.
“You know we’re going to read them now, right?” Holden asks me. “All of them.”
“God help us,” Eli mutters.
“My books aren’t exactly written for men your age,” I say, trying to imagine them reading those parts.
“That’s ageist,” Linc says. “And possibly sexist.”
“I’m just warning you. You might not see me in the same little sister light anymore.” I then explain to them about the new book, that unlike the others it’ll be in bookshops.
Myles face lights up. “Twisted Publishing?” he murmurs. “I know Alice DuChamps. Maybe I should…”
I narrow my eyes. “No. Absolutely not. If you interfere I will burn this house down.”
Myles lifts his hands in mock surrender. “Fine. But if you ever need help…”
I take a deep breath. I know it comes from a place of love. “Thank you,” I tell him. “But I have a great agent and I have this.”
He nods. “Okay.” And then he smiles at me. “I’m so damn proud of you.”
Oh. That sends a shot of happiness straight through me.
“Thank you.” I nod. “That means a lot.”
Linc clears his throat. “So is that it? The big confession? Or is there anything else? A secret baby? A secret boyfriend? Or are you planning on running off with a hot dragon?”
Oh god, he really has been reading books like mine.
“Not tonight,” I say lightly. “One shock to the system is enough.”
They laugh, and the moment feels warm and real. Like I’m part of something I’ve always longed for.
I can’t wait to tell Asher how well it went. To hear his voice.
I know I’ll have to tell my brothers about him soon. But not tonight.
We’re not there yet, but we’re getting close.
I’m not hiding anymore, and it’s a good feeling.
ASHER
“What do you mean he’s gone?” I ask Brad, a frown pulling at my lips. “We had eyes on him. Twenty-four seven.”
Brad’s face is tight. “I know that. But the guard took a bathroom break and…” He shakes his head. “Don’t worry, I’m dealing with him.”