Chapter 34
thirty-four
ASHER
For a moment I assume it’s a coincidence as the lamplight hits the face of the last person I want to see as she takes a step toward me.
“What do you want, Annalise?” I’m unable to hold back the sigh of frustration I feel at not being able to walk back into my apartment and go to fucking sleep.
She’s wearing a black dress and the kind of high heels that look awkward as hell to walk in. But somehow she does, taking another step toward me.
Enough for me to see the shadows under her eyes. The way her skin looks sallow.
And for one moment, I actually feel sorry for her.
“We need to talk,” she says softly. Like she doesn’t want anybody else to hear.
I frown. “There’s nothing to talk about.” And then I remember the other night. The way she looked when she saw me with Francie at the restaurant. Christ, I don’t have the bandwidth for this kind of drama.
“Nathan’s insurance refused to pay his hospital bills,” she tells me.
“I’m sorry to hear that.” But it’s not my fucking problem. I don’t add the last bit. I’m not the biggest asshole in the world. Not yet. “Maybe he can use some of the money I paid him.”
“You don’t look sorry. And it’s your fault. If you hadn’t thrown him out of his own company…”
I put my hand up, annoyed. I don’t have time for this.
“Look, Annalise, whatever Nathan has done, including snorting all that money up his own nose, is his own fault. I’m sorry he’s sick, I really am, but it has nothing to do with me.
I’m tired, I’m cranky, and I have no idea why you came here to say this. ”
“Because I have these.” She pulls an envelope out of her purse, her expression somehow triumphant. It reminds me of the days my dad would win at poker. When he thought he was the king of the world.
My stomach tightens as she passes it to me. And against my better judgment, I take it, knowing that no good can come of this. The envelope feels warm against my fingers as I slowly lift the unglued flap.
There are prints inside. The glossy type, like you used to get before selfies were a thing and memories were forever.
And then I see what’s on them.
Francie.
Her eyes closed. Her lips parted. The same picture we found in Shaun’s house. But in a much, much better resolution.
“She’s very… expressive, isn’t she?” Annalise says.
I narrow my eyes at her. “How did you get this?” Did Shaun sell the stills to her? How did he even know about her?
She shrugs. “Let’s just say your security breach was more thorough than you realized.”
“You know about the breach?” My voice is low. I’m trying not to let the fury overwhelm me.
“I am the breach.” She gives me the softest of smiles. “Did you really think you could get away with screwing me over?”
I look at that picture again. At Francie. All I can think about is how happy she sounded on the phone.
“I have the videos, too, of course.” She wrinkles her nose. “Those weren’t my kind of fun to watch. Of course, you don’t seem to have lost your touch.”
I say nothing.
“And backups. I’m not an amateur here. Shaun was very detailed.”
“You paid him?”
“Shaun’s an old friend.” She lifts a brow. “Not that his name is really Shaun. But I think you know that already.”
There’s a crushing feeling on my chest. Like the world is trying to push against me. Box me in. That kid being pushed into the cupboard, hearing his father screaming out in pain.
Knowing he’s responsible.
My head starts to pound.
“What do you want from me?” I grit my teeth so hard my jaw aches.
Her knowing eyes catch mine. “An apology would be a good start,” she tells me.
“An apology for what?” I can’t stop looking at the photograph. It’s like every mistake I’ve ever made, pixelated and formed into the face of the woman I love.
“For treating me like shit. You didn’t have to throw me to the wolves when Nathan tried to remove you from the company.”
“You were feeding him information,” I remind her. “You were in my bed while your brother worked to gut my company.”
“It was his company too,” she says, like I didn’t already know that. “And family’s complicated. You of all people should know that.”
“Ethics aren’t.”
“Don’t be so dramatic,” she replies, her voice light. “You always took things so personally. That was part of the problem.”
Something twists in my gut. The same hollow, scraping feeling that’s been following me for days. The same one I got when I found out that my dad had started to use Eden to cheat at poker, the exact same way he’d used me.
And I hadn’t protected her.
Annalise tilts her head. “But none of that really matters anymore. What matters is those videos,” she tells me. “And what I intend to do with them.”
My jaw tightens. “If you do anything at all to expose these I’ll fucking slay you.”
Her lip curls. “I’m not planning to do anything at all. As long as you do what you’re told. I want you to walk away. From the company. Transfer fifty percent of your shares to Nathan and fifty percent to me. Quietly. No fanfare. No scandals. You just… walk away.”
“And if I don’t?” I lift a brow.
Her smile is ice cold. “Then I upload these photographs and the world can see your little girlfriend playing show and tell.”
Something inside me snaps. “I swear to God if you hurt her…”
“I’m not the kinky asshole who recorded her. That’s all you. All of this is you.” Her eyes catch mine and I can see how deadly serious she is. “You handed her to me on a silver platter, Asher. You get to decide what happens next.”
The roaring in my ears reaches a crescendo. She’s right. This is me. My carelessness. I thought I could control everything.
I was wrong. And now history is repeating itself, giving me the worst déjà vu.
I’m the common denominator.
“Leave,” I tell her, my voice cold.
She looks delighted. “Gladly. But I’ll need your answer soon. Or these videos go viral.” She tips her head. “And we both know how far you’ll go to protect the people you care about.” She lifts her hand to wave goodbye, then turns on her heels to walk away.
I stare down at the envelope and the fucking pictures of all the mistakes I’ve made.
The thing is, she’s right.
I fucked up. Big time. And the woman I care about is going to get hurt.
“You fucking idiot,” Hudson says. But there’s no malice in his voice. If anything there’s sympathy.
He knows I know better than to do something this stupid. I’m a security expert for fuck’s sake. I committed the cardinal sin of thinking I was in control.
And I never have been. Not since that moment I saw her on the security cameras of the Ivory Rooms. Every part of my body has been doing the thinking for me. My dick, my heart.
But not my head.
We’re sitting in his office, because we don’t know if mine is compromised. We don’t know if my house is compromised, either. I’ve even switched phones again, but Francie’s phone could be compromised, so I can’t even talk to her.
Brad is doing another sweep of everything. And I haven’t told him the exact details because the less people who know about this the better. But the two men in front of me know everything.
Because I trust them with my life.
Hudson flew in first thing this morning. And West was already in Manhattan for a meeting with a client, so he’s come to strategize, because if anybody knows how to deal with assholes it’s West. He does it for a living as a media lawyer and general troubleshooter in Hollywood.
“Okay,” West murmurs. “Let’s go through this again. From the very beginning.”
I grit my teeth, because I don’t want to. We’ve already done this once and I’m ready to take action. But there’s no action I can take that doesn’t involve compromising the woman I promised to protect.
“The Ivory Rooms,” he says. “There could be evidence of you both being there, correct?”
“There are no photographs of that in any of the blackmail she provided,” I tell him. “I think it was too early. She doesn’t know about that.”
West lifts a brow. “You should still assume she has details of that. So we have that, the… videos of yours and Francie’s…” he trails off and I wince.
“Of her completely exposed,” Hudson adds, lifting a brow at me.
Message received. I’m a dick. But at least he agreed to be here to help.
“And then of you two outside the lighthouse,” West adds.
I nod.
“Anything else?”
“No.” I shake my head, because I’ve wracked my brain and can’t think of anything else.
“But all Annalise showed you were stills. So how can we be sure she has the videos?” Hudson asks.
I turn my laptop around to show him the email I received this morning. “There’s a video attached,” I tell him. “It shows everything.”
It’s Hudson’s turn to wince. “Christ.”
“Yeah,” I nod. “I know.”
“And Francie? What does she say?” West asks me.
“I haven’t told her. I asked her to head straight for Liberty.
” I look at my watch. “She should be arriving any time now.” Because of course I chartered a plane for her.
And arranged for a car to take her to the ferry.
” I look at Hudson. “Skyler knows to pick her up and take her to your place, right?”
Hudson nods. He, of all people, knows that I need her to be safe right now. And Liberty is the safest place I can think of. Plus, there are no security cameras at Hudson’s house. And we can monitor everybody that goes on and off the island.
And knowing the woman I care about is safe – at least for now – is everything.
“I still think you should tell her,” Hudson says. “Nothing good comes from hiding things.”
I lift a brow at him. “Pot meet kettle.” The man has more secrets than the Illuminati. “You didn’t exactly follow your own advice with Skyler.”
“And I’m trying to teach you from my mistakes,” he points out, but he looks resigned.
“She can’t find out. She’s got enough going on. She has to finish her book, she’s just reconciling with her brothers. I can’t endanger any of that.”
Neither of them says out loud what I know they’re both thinking. I already have.
“So that’s it, you’re just going to capitulate?” Hudson asks. “Give the shares to Annalise and Nathan?”
I swallow hard. “I don’t have another choice.”
“And what if they renege? What if she uploads them anyway out of spite?” West asks. “A woman scorned and all that…”
“My lawyer is already drawing up an ironclad agreement.”
“Like the last one?” Hudson lifts a brow. And he has a point. Nathan and I signed a legal contract.
But I’m still on the verge of losing everything.
I look my brother straight in the eye. He looks as messed up as I feel. But he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t need to. I can already hear the echo of my own thoughts bouncing off his skull.
I’m a fucking idiot. It’s not the first time I’ve hurt the people I love.
But it has to be the last. I can’t keep doing this.
“The contract will have contingencies,” I tell him. “It’ll be so tight they could strangle a lawyer.” I lift a brow at West. “Present company excluded.”
“I’ll check it over too,” he offers. “Make sure that if she releases anything she’ll go down with it. And she’ll know it. That’s the important thing.”
“You really think she cares about going down?” Hudson asks, leaning back in his chair. “She’s not stupid, she’s vindictive. That’s worse.”
For a moment none of us speak. Hudson knows all about vindictive exes. His daughter’s mother stole their child and took her to a different continent, after all.
He might have his daughter back now, but the scars remain. And the law did nothing to help him until it was too late.
“I have no fucking idea what else to do,” I admit. “She’s desperate. Her brother’s dying, her life’s imploding, and she wants someone to burn for it. If giving her the company keeps Francie safe, then that’s what I have to do. Let her burn me instead.”
“You’re giving her control over you,” West murmurs. “You’re going to lose everything. All the years you’ve worked on this. Your intellectual property. It’ll all be gone.”
I drain the last of the water in the glass on Hudson’s desk. And let out a long breath.
“What else can I do?” I ask them.
They exchange a glance.
“No. I’m not talking to Francie. You know how she’ll react. She’ll try to dissuade me. And I’m not going to let her do that. Annalise can destroy me, that’s fine. I’ve been destroyed before. But I won’t let them destroy Francie.”
Rubbing the back of his neck, Hudson looks as resigned as I feel. “I’ll stand by you. Of course I will. No matter how this shakes out.”
“Thank you.” My voice is hoarse.
“Same.” West nods. “You’ll get through this.”
I give them a weak smile. “I hope so.”
And yeah, I probably will. But will she? If I lose her because of this…
I can’t even finish that thought. I’m between a rock and a hard place. Either I lie and protect her, or tell her the truth and throw her to the wolves.
Neither of them says a word. But I can read the expressions on their faces. I’m well and truly fucked.
Francie deserves better than this. Better than secrets and manipulations and some twisted white-knight fantasy where I martyr myself for her safety.
But I don’t know how to stop.
“I need to go to my lawyer’s office,” I say hoarsely.
Hudson nods.
West stands up. “You want me to come with you?”
I shake my head. I love them both. But this is my mess, not theirs.
“But I’ll keep you updated.”
“And you’ll send me the draft agreement, right?” West asks. I nod, grateful for his support. Knowing I don’t deserve it.
Then I look at Hudson. “Are you going back to Liberty today?”
“I have a few meetings tomorrow. I’ll go after those.”
I let out a breath. I need him to be there. To make sure she’s safe.
Before I can tell him that, my Nokia buzzes and a text message appears in black across the tiny screen.
Made it to the ferry. When will you be back? I need some writing inspiration, Asher style. – Francie x
Her words feel like a fist around my throat, squeezing tight.
My thumbs hover over the keypad. I could lie. I could tell her I’m coming back now. That we’ll celebrate with wine and words and that thing she does with her tongue that makes my brain short-circuit. But I don’t. Because lies might feel like comfort, but they’re still fucking lies.
Instead, I slide the phone back into my pocket and say nothing.
She still thinks I’m the hero of her story, but instead I’ve turned into the fucking villain.