Chapter Five
The wedding was every bit as beautiful as Soren expected after seeing the hotel and learning Shane had paid for the entire thing. Of course, it was equally possible he was so goddamn happy that everything looked twice as amazing. He had just never felt this way, and Soren didn’t know where to go with it. At the reception, Soren danced with so many people, he thought he might drop. It turned out Anna’s mom had been a ballroom champion and was over the moon to have someone to match her. Between the dancing, champagne, and food, Soren thought he might pass out as soon as they got back to the room. All thoughts of sleep had gone out the window the instant the door closed, and Shane’s mouth covered his. Now he fought to keep his head upright as Shane drove him home from the airport. He kept dozing off and jerking awake. Soren couldn’t recall the last time he had been this exhausted. He nearly cried in relief as his apartment came into view.
“I’d ask if I could come in, but you look half dead.”
“You can come in.” The offer popped from Soren, with no thought to his messy apartment or the weariness of his bones.
A sweet smile touched Shane’s lips, making it worthwhile. “I’ll carry your bags in for you.”
It would have been even nicer if Shane offered to carry him inside, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. He would take whatever help he could get. Just the idea of climbing the stairs made him want to puke. Soren also started to overthink things as he began the climb. A couple of years back, Soren had made the move from living above a Chinese restaurant to living above The Back Porch. It was a coffeehouse frequented by the gay community and owned by an ex professional football player. Several times before the move, Soren had brought his laptop in to use their Wi-Fi and get some work done while enjoying the pastries. His all-day patronage had made him friends, especially with the owner, Wrecker. The moment the upstairs apartment became available, Wrecker had offered him the place at a steal. It was much easier to use the Wi-Fi now. He had gotten lucky as hell, but still. It was a tiny place, and likely look even smaller compared to the life of luxury Shane had lived for the past twenty-odd years. He kind of regretted inviting Shane upstairs.
Still, he unlocked the door and switched on the light. The place was cleaner than he had let his imagination recall. So there was that. Unfortunately, the mess he hadn’t picked up before leaving was all his crayons, markers, and coloring books. They were a mess in a circle on the floor, practically mapping where he had lain while playing. Thankfully, Shane didn’t say anything.
Soren tried distracting him, nonetheless. “Thank you so much for this weekend. I had a blast and everyone was so nice.”
Shane set Soren’s suitcase and backpack by the door and then kicked it closed behind him. Before Soren had time to blink, Shane had swept him off his feet. “Bedroom.”
Soren swallowed at the growl in Shane’s voice. He pointed toward a nearby doorway. Shane headed that way with a muscle ticking in his jaw. He fascinated Soren. It was like he was this huge, barely leashed beast. That was a fanciful thought, he knew, but Shane could be incredibly sweet. But Shane could also be scary, and that made Soren so unbelievably hot. Things didn’t go exactly as expected.
Shane set him on the edge of the bed and went down on his knees. He removed Soren’s shoes. “Where are your pajamas?”
Soren motioned toward his dresser. “In the top drawer.” He watched as Shane crossed the room and searched the drawer, coming out with his brown bear onesie, before returning to Soren’s side.
Shane undressed him like he would a child.
Soren let everything happen to him. When he was down to nothing, Shane pushed, tumbling Soren onto his back. Then Soren’s dick was in his mouth. Soren’s eyes rolled back in his head. He had never been more on fire. Shane showed no mercy. The entire experience very obviously wasn’t about a shared moment. He wanted to get Soren off as quickly as possible. That wasn’t a problem. Exhausted or not, Shane’s mouth was out of this world. It took no time for the pressure beating at his crown to turn to ecstasy. Soren was shameless. He didn’t hold back his cries. He felt higher than ever. Soren really hoped Shane didn’t want him to return the favor. It would be way too obvious he had no idea what he was doing.
“Oh, wow. You really did that. Gold star.”
Shane laughed against his skin as he kissed his way up Soren’s body. “Let’s get you ready for bed, little one. You’re exhausted.”
Soren might have argued and offered to get Shane off if he wasn’t half dead while Shane dressed him. He wanted to thank Shane again for the weekend and drive home how happy he was. Unfortunately, the darkness swallowed him, and everything was gone.
Shane felt the tiniest blip of guilt as he tucked Soren into bed. He was out cold, and Shane knew it was his fault. Just like tonight, Shane had been incapable of giving Soren an ounce of peace since getting inside him that first time. He hadn’t expected to become an addict, but here they were. Even though his body ached, Shane wasn’t even sorry he wouldn’t get his. He would take what he could get.
Once he had Soren settled, Shane headed to the living room, closing the bedroom door behind him. A million thoughts flitted through his head as he cleaned up Soren’s crayons and markers before they got destroyed. Something became a little clearer the more time he spent with Soren. Soren knew Shane wasn’t one of them. He was just Banks’ personal guard. If he was at The PlayPen, it was because he had to be. Soren was a Little. He just knew Shane wasn’t a daddy and chose to close that side away to be with him. Shane didn’t want that. He had met Soren at The PlayPen. Shane had craved him and pursued even knowing his preferences. If anyone should bend, it should be him. Plus, the more glimpses he caught of what it would be like to be Soren’s daddy, the more the idea intrigued him. He wasn’t as turned off as he would like to think he would be.
He sat on the couch and stared at nothing for a moment. Shane didn’t understand his thoughts. In fact, he needed to steer clear of that path. He wasn’t free to be with Soren. To an extent, they could be together, but Shane couldn’t give him a home and life. It would always be Soren living on Bosi terms. Soren was the only one who wouldn’t gain a damn thing, but a guy too old, rough, and mean for him. He didn’t know where to go from here. Shane loved supervising Soren’s living room camp-outs with Kyson. He adored the games, movies, and snacks. The laughter. He shouldn’t have started this. This could only end with Soren hating him.
Shane pushed to his feet and headed for the door. He double and triple checked the locks before leaving Soren behind. The drive home was a silent heartache. A reality check. At some point, Soren would realize Shane was barely more than an indentured servant. Maybe he got paid well, but he had still contracted away his entire existence. How could he ask Soren to do the same?
Unfortunately, the house wasn’t silent when Shane got home. He heard the laughter before he came through the door. Axton was passed out on the couch and Banks had Kyson thrown over his shoulder. Kyson seemed to be thoroughly enjoying the ride.
“Whee!”
Banks snorted. He looked Shane’s way. “The Littles had a wine and cheese night.”
Kyson tried pushing himself upward to look at Shane. “Shane is home?” He gave up when his arms gave out. “Hi, Shane. Is Soren with you?”
“I took him home. He has to work tomorrow.”
“That’s cool. You missed the fun. We had wine and games and cheese and more wine. And then, Axton bought us even more wine.” He giggled, making Shane smile. “Is Soren with you?”
Shane’s smile grew. “No.”
“Oh, yeah. You said that.” Kyson spoke every word upside down and face pressed against Banks’ back. It was obvious Banks was ready to put him to bed. “Did you two have fun? Is Soren still a virgin?”
Shane’s stomach dropped.
Kyson’s arm shot out, making a wild motion. “Don’t answer that. I want to be genuinely surprised when he tells me. Right now, I think I just might throw up.”
Banks was headed down the hall before the words died on Kyson’s lips, leaving Shane staring at nothing but remembering everything. Soren had been all blushes. Shane had been so fucking rough. He thought he might be sick. It never occurred to him. Soren was twenty-five. Shane had lost his virginity at like twelve. That didn’t make it right, and he had always been big and looked older. But fuck, damn near every guy he knew had been with a dozen people by eighteen. He should have known. He absolutely should have fucking known. Of course, Soren wouldn’t say anything or complain. He just let Shane hurt him. Shane felt sick. Soren was asleep. He couldn’t call and confront him. Then again, did he deserve to say anything? This was on him. He was older and more experienced. What a fucking mess. Every time he turned around, there was another reason Soren should stay far, far away from him. What the fuck was he supposed to do now?