Chapter 19
This must be what defeat feels like.
When Huey left, he went on and on about this city chewing him up and spitting him out, how he was like gum thrown into the gutter—disliked and discarded.
I’m sorry to say I pitied him. Don’t get me wrong; I’m still mad as hell that he cheated on me and dumped me via a voice message, but a small part of me cheered. I’d proven that I was stronger than him because I’d stayed. He couldn’t hack it here, but maybe I could.
I was hacking it.
Until today.
Alone in my apartment, surrounded by packing boxes, I don’t feel triumphant.
Unemployed and soon-to-be homeless, I have a choice to make.
I think about Lucky’s easy grin and the perfection of his dimples, offset with a single snaggletooth that only adds to his bad-boy image. How much his devil-may-care attitude reminded me of … well, me, when I moved here. So sure of myself, of my future. Ready to take on the world.
Maybe that’s why we’re drawn to each other.
I think about Sterling and how much I still admire him—a storm cloud of determination and courage.
He surely hates me, barely uttered as much as a good morning, yet I believe in his work and will forever want to follow in his footsteps.
I’ve always hoped for his advice, for him to be a mentor, if not a friend.
Leaving will deny me a chance with either man.
Most of me wants to stay, a soul-deep drive to continue what I came here for—a mission stitched into my bones that feels bigger than me. I’m meant to be here—at least, I thought I was.
Do I really want to pack it all up and go home?
* * *
Don’t look at me, this was your choice:
move back home (go to 22)
go back (go to 9)