Chapter 29
Sterling is precise as he removes the armor from my shoulders and chest—never careless, never touching more than is necessary, lingering only in presence.
Since the day of my twenty-first birthday, he has been by my side, hair as dark as shale after the rain, eyes bright as a summer sky. He towers over most, even Louis, yet rarely uses it against me, only coming to full height when he’s standing between me and a threat.
Not that there are any of those since the sorcerer was destroyed.
“I’ll be married tomorrow,” I say, not as a reminder—neither of us needs one—but because I can’t avoid it any longer. “And gone a day after that.”
The lines by his eyes tighten, but he swallows whatever is causing it. His words are gruff. “I’m aware.”
I expected Sterling to leave as swiftly and mysteriously as he’d arrived, but he hasn’t. Though he never wishes to explain why, he stays.
I hoped it was for me—a silly ember of hope that was extinguished when I found that I’d be traveling to Chance alone.
Once the weapons are stored, there is nothing left to do but prepare for today’s introductions. I may be bound by duty and circumstance, but that does not mean I need to go easily.
“I’ll miss you.” My admission lands feather soft in the silence.
Delicate. Fragile. “Everything I’ve read tells me I should be happy there, but I can’t imagine it.
Who will train with me and tell me when I’m dragging my feet?
Who will find me when I sneak into the orchards at night and sit with me as I count stars?
” What kind of marriage can I have if half of my heart remains here?
“You’re easy to love, Mia; you will not find yourself alone for long. Despite his”—he pauses—“relaxed manner, the prince is a good man. You have nothing to fear from him.”
“I’d feel less lost if you were with me.”
Sterling shakes his head. “You know I can’t.”
I sigh.
Anytime I think there’s something between us, something personal, something deeper than heir and guard, mentor and friend, he retreats. Perhaps leaving is the right thing. I’m not sure how much more of this I can withstand.
Better to face the unknown than the pain I’m slowly conflating with love.
“You can’t, you can’t—that’s all you will tell me. I don’t understand it. Make me understand it, please.”
Disapproval creases his brows, drags his frown lower. “Your brother is waiting.”
I stay Sterling with a hand on his arm. “So, he won’t mind waiting a little longer.”
“Mia,” he says, his tone as sharp as the dagger hidden at his side, “he isn’t the only one waiting.”
I huff. I hardly need him to remind me.
“Sterling,” I plead, and the rare use of his given name melts his reserve—a trick I learned quickly. “There’s something … if I’m going to go through with this, let us part honestly. Ever since we met, I’ve grown to care for you, as a friend, but also as more—”
He cuts me off with a command. “Mia, don’t.” His fists are clenched at his sides. The muscles beneath his beard shift like water in a stream. The crack in his calm facade is hardly a consolation.
I wait, but he says nothing more.
He always does this. Silence. Vagaries. He’s impossible. Getting to know him has been a fight, and don’t get me started on his past. The reasons for his move are vague, as are the details on his life before Ferntree.
How am I ever meant to know of anything of the world when he and Louis conspire to keep it hidden from me? Anything of him?
“It seems I am alone after all. I knew I would be once I left on the prince’s arm, my name signed over to his, but I thought I had at least one ally left. Hoped it so.”
“You don’t know how hard this is for me—”
“No, you do not know.” I push a finger into his chest, my traitorous heart spinning at the feel of hard muscle beneath cloth.
“You say you care, but you always stop me before I say … before I can tell you …” I shake my head.
I thought if we were anything, we were friends.
But now, I’m not so sure. “You promise protection but refuse to stay by my side when I need you the most.” My voice breaks as tears flood my eyes, and I hate how young I feel, as lost and naive as I’m accused of.
“Mia, please …”
“No.” I can’t be here anymore; it’s too painful. “Excuse me, I need to meet my future husband.”
I storm off before he can stop me.
* * *
Louis opens the study door with his mouth in a hard, flat line. “You’re late.”
I meet his stare with my own. Who cares? There’s no getting out of this arrangement, whether it happens now or later. No changing the fate that I agreed to—agreed because I had the childish expectation that my friend, the one who had sworn to protect me, would be by my side.
Well, if the Chance’s crown prince isn’t a patient man, we will have worse issues than my timekeeping.
Louis drops his gaze to the floor and sighs. I’m still wearing my boots from practice, their bright tips poking out from under my skirts.
“My apologies,” I say, stepping into the room. “But it won’t be the last time, so it’s better you know now, and we won’t have to waste time with sorries in the future.”
There’s an unfamiliar chuckle, and I turn to face the man I’m here to meet.
“I rather like waiting when the reward is so lovely, and I thank you for your honesty. It’s how every good marriage should start.”
Prince Lachlan is as handsome as the rumors say, which is a pleasant surprise. Tall and well defined. Older than Louis, but not by much. His hair falls past his brow, soft and clean, a shade darker than his honey-brown eyes. It brushes along sharp cheekbones, begs to be touched. Tousled. Ruined.
Yes, he is very pleasing to look at.
Strange that he’s unwed. As the only son, he should have been married off years ago.
Is there secretly something wrong with him that my brother hasn’t told me?
If there is, I must make my peace with it now.
Sterling is adamant that the prince is a good man, and I trust him, but this isn’t a love match. It’s a responsibility to unite our provinces and heal the scars the sorcerer cleaved out between our communities. I pushed for this, and I will honor my choice, no matter who this stranger is.
Louis looks eagerly between us, twitching with excitement. It’s no wonder; he was raised to take over our father’s role on the council, and trade between Ferntree and Chance is about to increase twofold.
“How was your journey?” I ask.
“Enjoyable,” Lachlan answers. “The waters were calm. Have you ever sailed?”
“No.” I offer nothing else.
“You’ll love it, I promise. I’m an excellent captain.”
“And modest, clearly.”
Louis gapes. “I apologize for my sister—”
“Please don’t,” Lachlan says, smiling wider. “Is there anything else you need, Louis? Only I’d like to get to know my fiancée.”
“I shouldn’t leave you alone,” Louis says, cautious. “Why isn’t your guard here?”
“That’s a question we’d both like the answer to,” I say, not hiding the bite in my voice.
Louis looks like a drowned puppy when he pouts. “I’ll call one of mine to stand watch.” He touches my arm. “At the first sign of trouble—”
With a flick of my wrist, I free the dagger Sterling gave me. “I know what to do.”
Louis’s eyes almost fall out of his head, and I prepare for his wrath, but Lachlan tips his head back and laughs.
“Oh, I believe this will be an even better arrangement than you promised, Louis.”
Flushed to the tips of his ears, my brother apologizes anyway and excuses himself. I take the opportunity to put a little distance between myself and this wayward prince.
I sheathe my dagger. “Mia Finnegan. Nice to finally meet you,” I say, dipping my head.
“Lachlan Williams, or Lucky if you prefer, and the pleasure is all mine, I assure you.”
His eyes are alight with more joy than I would expect for a man who has been strong-armed into an arranged marriage—or perhaps it’s only me who has been dreading this.
He’s not the one losing his entire world. My chest aches with the need to have Sterling here.
“Your brother mentioned you were well read, but not that you were also skilled with a blade.”
I look down at my hands; the tips are still stained with dirt. “He doesn’t approve.”
“That’s a shame. I find it admirable.”
He has a lovely smile. Warm, where I expected him to be cold. Interested, where I expected indifference.
He walks behind my desk, beckons me over. I’m curious.
“I brought you something.”
He passes me a scroll. It’s large, half the length of me at least, and I lay it over the desk to roll it out. Lucky holds the opposite end, and what I find steals my breath.
“It’s a map.”
There’s a similar one on the wall behind us, drawn before the world was split. I’ve studied it long and hard over the years, tried to imagine where the breaks were, swallowed down the pain of a wound we’d never be able to repair.
Before me is the new world, and it’s … beautiful. I didn’t think it would be. I’ve never seen the sea before, only ever heard of the horrors the sorcerer enacted with it, but this is …
Gosh, it’s so very blue.
A familiar, striking blue.
Lucky sets a candleholder down, holding the map flat.
“We’ll leave from here,” he says, pointing to our only port, far in the north.
He has nice hands. Large, sun-kissed, with strong veins.
“My crew is still there, looking after the ship and no doubt getting into trouble.” He turns his head toward me. “You’ll fit right in.”
I duck my head, hiding my blush. Chance sits to the east, the city spilling out from the summit of a cliff, where the land has been carved away. But they didn’t give up; they embraced their scars and celebrate them. It’s beautiful.
“The port must be filled with yellow blossoms by now.”
“You’ve done your research,” he says, pleased.
I have, but that’s not how I learned of it. “My guard, Sterling, has said many good things about Chance. I must admit, I’m curious to see it for myself.”
He’s close enough that I hear his breath catch. Curious.
“Do you know him?”