15. Katie
15
KATIE
Dallas can’t even look at me.
I don’t know why that makes me so happy, but it does. I’m practically gleeful.
I’m still furious with him for everything that’s happened today. I’m also completely exhausted from it all. Seeing Max, arguing with Dallas and even letting the memories of Toby rise to the surface. My massive cry by the lake and talking things over with Olivia. The new horse, seeing Flynn, jousting matches in the kitchen with Sadie, and Dallas’s revelation that it doesn’t happen as regularly as the sun rising anymore.
The last thing I want to be doing right now is going into a bar full of people who probably hate me. Max has had years to poison their thinking about me. He’s always blamed me for taking his brother away and because he hated me before I even started dating Toby, I’ve never felt like I could explain to him what actually happened.
I don’t even understand why he hates me so much. I sort of get this thing where he thinks I took his brother away from him, then got him killed—which is absolutely not what happened. But the vendetta against me from before Toby. That’s the part I don’t understand.
The first time I met Max he dismissed me. Olivia and he had been friends back then. I couldn’t understand it, until she told me he acted differently around me than he had anyone in his whole life. She would know. She’s known him almost that long. The only part of Max’s life that Olivia wasn’t there for was the time when she wasn’t born yet.
She didn’t have a choice but to be friends with him. Their parents were friends, they were neighbours. There weren’t a lot of options.
So it was Olivia and Max and Toby and Flynn. Until I arrived and somehow took Max’s place without even trying.
I’d feel worse about it, except he’s such a massive jerk that even Olivia and Flynn distanced themselves. Toby never said Max was a reason for leaving town, but he didn’t have any issues leaving his twin behind.
I turn all of this over in my head, for the millionth time, and I’m still no closer to an answer or explanation than I have been over the past six years.
Some tiny part of me had hoped Max would soften over time, but he clearly hasn’t.
So, Dallas has to bear the brunt of my frustration. My frustration about tonight, about Max, about being stuck back in this tiny town when I worked so hard to break away from it, despite loving so much about living here .
If I have to endure tonight, then I get to have a little fun with it.
I’m not sure he really minds, though the fact he hasn’t been able to look at me properly once since I changed my clothes might mean I’m causing him more drama than even I intended.
I just wanted to feel desired, to have someone admire me. It doesn’t count when it’s Flynn who’s been like my brother since we were sixteen, and Dallas makes an easy mark.
I wanted that admiration from a man I know finds me attractive. I just didn’t realise how effective it would be.
Dallas is slouched over a corner table now, staring into his beer like he wants to murder it. Olivia is chatting to a girl who seems vaguely familiar. She could be someone who was at school as the same time as us, though I’m sure she wasn’t in our year.
“You coming to dance with me, cowboy?” I reach over and nudge Dallas’s shoulder.
He grunts, and looks up, but not directly at me. It’s like he tries but just can’t do it. His gaze focuses just over my shoulder. “I’m good.”
“I thought the whole reason you came was to watch me show off my dance moves.” I lean in close, so no one can overhear. My knee presses into his thigh. “But you can’t even look at me.”
He sucks in a breath and his eyes finally meet mine for the briefest second. “I’m sure Flynn will dance with you.” His voice is tight and he presses his leg right back into mine.
“Yeah, of course I will,” Flynn says from my other side. “Come on, Katie Kat. ”
I grit my teeth. I love Flynn to pieces. But his timing right now couldn’t be worse. I’m finally making progress. Progress towards what, I’m not exactly sure. Making myself feel better by tormenting Dallas?
I let Flynn take my hand as I slide out of the booth, using the movement to hide my sigh of disappointment.
Flynn twirls me onto the patch of worn flooring at the side of the room we call a dance floor, then grabs my waist and pulls me in. He’s an exceptional dancer when he’s not attempting to ballroom dance, and I follow his lead, getting lost in the beat. Songs pass in a blur. For a moment I forget where I am and just enjoy being reunited with my friend.
A slower song comes on and without hesitation Flynn pulls me close. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and rest my forehead against his neck.
“What’d you do to the boss?” Flynn asks in his typical teasing tone.
“Dallas? Nothing.” I give a half-hearted shrug.
I can practically feel him roll his eyes at me. “Sure, sure. So why can’t he stop watching you, but only when he doesn’t know I’m looking? Whenever I catch him out, he looks like I’ve walked in on him in the middle of a murder or something.”
It’s my turn to roll my eyes now. “You exaggerate, but also, have you seen these boots? The sole reason they exist is to bring men to their knees.”
He releases me from his tight hold and takes a step back, assessing me. “You’re right. They’re fucking excellent boots. But, I think this is more than the boots, Katie.” He pauses and rubs at the back of his neck. He’s going to say something awkward next. “Maybe you should give him a chance. He’s not a bad guy.”
“A chance? A chance for what? We work together, there isn’t anything else to this, Flynn.”
He shrugs as he pulls me back into dance position. “I just think you’d be a good match for him.”
I gape at him. Do they know? Between Flynn and Olivia dropping hints about me and Dallas, I feel like they know. But they can’t, unless Dallas told them. If that’s the case …
Before I’m able to respond to Flynn’s wild claim that has zero relevance to anything , there’s a tap on his shoulder. We both turn to find the subject of our conversation standing beside us. Dallas shoves both hands into his pockets and still refuses to look at me as he mutters something.
“I can’t hear you,” I say, despite being pretty confident I know what he said.
“I said, can I cut in?”
Flynn grins down at me. “Sure thing, boss.” He turns away and is back by our table before I have a chance to process he’s gone.
I turn back to Dallas. His hands are still in his pockets, his shoulders are hunched and he’s chewing his lip, like he’s nervous. His gaze hovers somewhere around my knees and off to the side. He finally lifts his eyes and looks directly into mine. He puts out a hand, palm up, and waits. He’s not going to force this. He’s still giving me the choice.
I put my hand in his and feel a ripple of heat pass through me as he gently closes his calloused fingers around it. I step closer and he slides an arm around my waist.
“Warning you,” he says against my ear. “I cannot dance like Flynn can.”
I want to laugh, but I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he made me laugh, so I keep it in. Instead, I focus on the way he holds me against him, our bodies not exactly pressing together, but touching all the way up.
This is a terrible idea.
It reminds me far too much of the first night and what his hands felt like on my waist then, when he lifted me so I was straddling his lap.
It reminds me of the way those calloused hands roamed over my skin, from my waist to my breasts and down to the curve of my ass. The way he fitted his hand against the side of my neck and brushed his thumb across my mouth.
It reminds me of how he kissed me against the wall, trapping me with his hot hard body as he pressed it into mine.
A wave of lust and desire crashes over me and after a quick scan of the room to check Flynn and Olivia aren’t paying us any attention, I grab Dallas’s hand and pull him into the darkened space between the end of the bar and the jukebox. There’s a short hallway that leads to a storeroom and probably an office or two.
I don’t know what my plan is, and as far as terrible ideas go, this one blows everything else out of the water.
“What’re you—” Dallas starts to say, before I yank him into me and he cuts himself off. I press my back against the wall and his arm comes to rest beside my head as his body crowds mine. It’s so reminiscent of the first night we met that my knees go weak for a moment.
Dallas is finally looking at me.
I press my hands against his chest, slide one higher to curl around his neck and catch in the soft strands of hair at the nape of his neck.
His free hand comes to rest on my side. He licks his lips and looks at me like he wants to devour me.
I lean forward, push up on my toes and reach towards him.
My mouth is an inch from his. His grip tightens on my hip.
“Katie,” he breathes. “No.”