Chapter 3
Chapter Three
“She treats me as though I’m the villain,” I state to Adam.
He had previously worked for Apollyon and after trying to stop the imprisonment of Elijah, was forced to become a “patient” at the original facility, before being transferred over to the Boulder location.
While I have only known him for a few days, he’s the closest I’ve found to an ally against The Garden.
Especially once I found out a team of the nurses from the garden and him had been planning an escape, going as far as to secure a small cabin in Nederland to hide out in.
They dropped us off here with enough supplies for a week, my bombing causing an abrupt end to their time for preparation.
“You are in her mind, Kameron,” he groans, running his roughed up palm over his face. “You have no idea what they’ve done to her.”
“So then tell me,” I plead, desperation leaking through each word.
He looks up from his seat on the porch and watches the rising sun for a moment, taking the time to decide whether or not he’s comfortable sharing this with me.
But he doesn’t understand how badly I need this.
How vital it is for me to break through to Lilith and get her back to me.
She is my soul, separated from my body. Without her I have no lifeline, no heartbeat, I am nothing if I’m not hers.
“They use cattle prods at the new facility to train the new patients,” he starts off, a sinking feeling hitting my gut.
“Everytime you speak out of place or behave in a way they claim is sinful you get shocked. I hadn’t been there long enough to experience any mental changes, thank god.
But now imagine Lilith, completely altered due to her religious psychosis, entering that place. ”
Our eyes connect as he finishes, “she thought you were an angel, Kameron. How many times do you think she needed to have her skin burned by an electrical current before she began to view you as a monster?”
I stare at him, feeling the anger begin to bubble up to a boiling point. Adam turns back towards the now risen sun and shrugs, “if they couldn’t breed their idea of saints, they were going to create them.”
Biting the inside of my cheek I rise to my feet and begin making my way back inside. Adam has given me quite a lot to mull over, and now the situation with Lilith has grown more complex. I’m no longer fighting just my past self, but also the version of me that has been beaten into her mind.
I slowly tap my knuckles against the door to Lilith’s bedroom, knowing I won’t be met with a reply.
Ever since the incident in the bathroom, she's been stone cold silent.
Not that there was much opportunity for us to talk considering she won't leave her room.
But my beautiful girl needs to eat, she needs to build up the strength it's going to take to fight her demons.
I gently push the door open to find my little sinner curled up on the bed, facing the wall. Her black hair flows behind her along the sheets, a stark contrast to the white fabric.
“I brought you some dinner,” I say as I walk up to place the bowl of spaghetti down on her nightstand. The clink of the porcelain against the wood causes me to cringe and take a step back.
“You know Lilith, at one point I was a believer,” I start, not wanting to leave her presence quite yet. “I loved God with all my heart, and then I lost my parents.”
I watch her, waiting for a sign that she’s listening, but she doesn't move. Instead my beautiful girl stays still, as if she were a painting, bits of acrylic stuck to the fabric of a canvas.
“I watched them drown. It was my fourteenth birthday and we were headed home. A drunk driver slammed into the side of the car, forcing us into a tailspin that ended with us at the bottom of Santee river.”
Still she doesn’t move, but I can’t help but find comfort in being next to her, so I continue on. “After that, Apollyon took guardianship of me, claiming it would be what my parents wanted.”
I step closer to her, “claiming that he would raise me up under the guidance of the lord, just as they had.”
Finally her head turns towards me, her big gray eyes staring back at me with an almost scary vacant look. I take another step towards her, allowing my knees to bump into the bed. A smile slowly begins to spread across her face. “Lilith what’s wro-”
Her hand seamlessly glides from under the pillow, holding onto an object that catches the light, and lunges towards me. My heart drops as I reach out to grab her wrist, but as I feel her skin against mine, the room around us begins to go black.
Kameron- age fifteen
I quietly enter the dining room. Apollyon had sent a maid to retrieve me from my room for dinner.
It’s the first time in three days he’s allowed me to leave.
Before my forced quarantine, two of the nuns from The Garden had come in with Apollyon to initiate my ‘baptism’ into their church.
They claimed God wanted every bit of me.
Now, my body is still decorated with bruises from being held down.
“No, no, this won't do,” he had said when I tried to go outside, “the lord wouldn’t want you showing off your marks. It’s not fair to the other children who have yet to get that close to God. ”
“Come in, son,” Apollyon states as he pulls out a chair next to him at the table.
My eyes quickly glance to him before scanning over the table.
Two pizzas are set out, still in their cardboard holders.
My heart jumps at first with excitement, I haven't had pizza since before my parents passed.
That excitement is quickly replaced with raw fear when Apollyon impatiently taps the cushion of the seat.
I quickly hurry and join him, mumbling out a soft thank you as I sit down. He pulls one of the boxes closer to us, the smell of the hot pepperoni wafting up off of it. My stomach growls and he lets out a chuckle. “Go on and eat, boy.”
I carefully reach forward and pull one of the slices from the circle. My mouth waters as I get ready to take my first bite. For the first time in so long, a glimpse of happiness fills me. But as the food touches my lips, Apollyon’s hand reaches forward, shoving it in.
My eyes go wide as I try to pry his fingers from my mouth, but his strength over me wins. He holds it there, an evil grin playing at his lips, before reaching forward with his other hand and plugging my nose.
“If you are going to be ungrateful for the gift that God has given you, you don’t deserve the air he has created.”
I thrash around in my seat, silently begging him to just let me go. The edges of my vision begin to darken as he continues on. “I have given you the holy seed, the ultimate baptism, and you have yet to thank me.”
I attempt to slap at his hands, but all of my energy has been depleted. I feel myself go limp as the world around me continues to darken.
The room around me spins as everything begins to come back into view. The first thing I’m able to register is her screams. My eyes lock on to Lilith’s, which are filled to the brim with fear. I try to blink a few times, but my eyelids feel so heavy, almost as if I could lay down and drift away.
When they finally open again is when I notice the blood. It trickles down her pale skin, starting from her wrist and falling off of her elbow onto the comforter. Only then do I realize I had dug my nails into her, still holding her arm up from her attack.
“Let me go!” She screams, desperately trying to yank her limb out of my grasp.
I drop her arm instantly, and back away to the other side of the room.
My heart races as I open my mouth to apologize, yet nothing can come out.
My thoughts race as I realize that I attacked her, that maybe I truly am the monster.
The door slams against the wall as Adam barges his way into the bedroom, his head immediately swiveling into the direction of Lilith. I watch as his body tenses up when he notices the blood, the guilt of harming my little sinner continues to grow.
“What the fuck?” He yells out as he rushes over to Lilith.
She falls into the older man's embrace as the sobs building behind the dam in her throat finally break through. I watch in shock as he gently rubs his hand down her back, soothing her in ways I couldn’t dream of.
None of this is how it was supposed to be, it seems as though no matter how hard I try, all I’ve done is terrorize her further.
My eyes drop to the floor as I walk myself out of the room, making sure to shut the door behind me.
My back presses against the wood and I slide myself down to the ground, completely lost within my own self pity.
My whole life has been a nightmare since I fell into Apollyon’s grasp, and it was one I thought I could finally escape.
These flashbacks, the time I’m losing to the memory of him, prove otherwise.
Maybe there is no escaping, I think to myself, letting my head hang in between my knees. Maybe I’m not meant for something better.
I feel the sting of the tears collecting in my eyes for the first time in so long.
The mental pain reverberates through my body as I continue to stay slumped against the door.
I wanted nothing more than to save her, to show her the light of the world, to give her the space to grow into the woman who could burn cities to the ground with one look.
I wanted to be her king, to stand by her as she found her strength, and to kneel at the throne and worship her as she deserves.
The first tear finally falls from my eyes, I watch as it splashes against the floor, dispersing into many smaller droplets.
It reminds me of the first gift I had left Lilith, and how she let her rage finally take place front and center.
A smile pulls at my lips as I remember seeing the glass sparkle across her kitchen floor.
The resemblance fuels me enough to finally get my ass off of the floor. If Lilith can wield her emotions in such a beautiful and haunting way, maybe it's time I take a lesson from her. Apollyon can’t continue to win.
I’m sitting at the small dining table in the center of the main room of the cabin when Adam finally emerges from the bedroom. “She’s asleep now,” he notifies me as he joins me.
“I never meant to hurt her,” I begin, feeling the regret and sadness begin to build up inside of me once again. “She is everything to me. She is my reason to breathe.”
A small smile tugs at the corner of Adam’s mouth, smile lines creasing into his dark complexion. “Good.”
I'm taken aback by his answer, almost as if he was speaking in tongues. He must notice my confusion because he continues on before I get the chance to question him. “Now Kameron, I know you don’t hold faith in a higher power, but maybe you can learn to let your faith reside in her.”
I lean forward, clasping my hands together on the table top, trying to keep my irritation at bay. “Adam, forgive me, but I don’t understand what you’re trying to get at here.”
This time his small grin spreads fully across his face, “if we’re going to take down The Garden, the solution resides within the two of you.
You both matter so deeply to the men in charge.
Imagine what you could do if you were united.
” He lets out a small chuckle before continuing on, “she has more strength than you realize, give her time to heal her inner wounds.”
I lean back in my chair, letting his words coat my mind. I’ve always claimed that my little sinner had a fire in her, ever since that night at the bar when I watched it first ignite. Am I smothering her? I think to myself, a frown dragging down my lips.
Adam’s gravelly laughter breaks my train of thought, “did I fluster the Kameron Lethki? The same guy who has taken countless lives and bombed a church?” His brown eyes raise to meet mine, crows feet creasing into his skin. “Looks like this old dog can learn a new trick.”
I can’t help the smirk that forms as I try to hold back the laughter. It’s been so long since I’ve had a healthy relationship with an older man, and while I hate to admit it, my daddy issues have me lapping up his advice and humor.
“Thank you, Adam.” He gives me a knowing smile before standing up and heading off down to his room.