Chapter Twelve
The snowflakes slowly conjoin across the piece of glass, separating me from the forest outside.
It has begun to fall harder each day, leaving us buried underneath a coat of white.
Completely unaltered, it reminds me of a blank page, waiting for the marks to tarnish its surface.
I wonder what that must be like, how it would feel like to be completely left alone.
To be whole in every sense, no scratches, no burdens, no memories. To just exist.
I place my palm against the window, letting the heat from my body melt the snow on the other side.
It creates a small area where I can truly stare out into the abyss of white that lies beyond the cabin.
Enjoying the small details of the wilderness has become my main source of joy since Kameron began hunting.
He’s gone for hours each day, doing whatever it takes to not let us starve.
Adam does his best to keep me from sinking deep within myself, but his company can only do so much when Kameron is the one I crave.
The energy has shifted between us since our moment out in the woods.
It’s now full of longing glances, and so many words left unsaid.
I don’t know where we stand, and I don’t know if he will really wait until I’m ready.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready. Guilt gnaws at my heart as that thought crosses my mind.
He has been trying for months now to show me that everything he has done has held my best interest at heart.
But can you really change a monster? Was he ever even a monster, or did I make that up to protect myself?
The ideas scramble together in my mind, as the faded memories of The Garden claw at the surface.
I’ve been told of the torture I faced, but I draw a blank every time I try to remember.
It hits me like the mention of an old friend.
The feeling that there was once something there, although the space now stays empty.
Eight years is a long time to change and mold a person.
Whoever Lilith Jones was before my time as a patient is long gone.
Hell, even before then the memory of the girl I once was is hazy.
Any recollection I can grasp of my time as a nurse feels as though they were lifetimes ago.
I’ve become a shell of who I was, although maybe it’s for the better.
Who’s to say I would be anything more than a broken woman if my memories had stayed intact?
Before I can be utterly consumed by my thoughts, a slam of snow against the glass breaks me out of my trance.
I watch as the powdery balls remnants slide down the window, only to reveal the happiest site I’ve seen in so long.
Kameron stands out in the snow, a smile pulling his dimples out of hiding, as he rolls up another snowball.
Seeing him radiate with joy sends something much stronger than butterflies loose in my stomach.
I squeal as the second ball pounds against the window, instinctively jumping back.
His smile turns mischievous as he beckons me to come out.
I scramble my way to the front door, quickly tugging on the oversized boots that were delivered for me, before darting out into the icy weather.
I search the wintery landscape, looking for him, yet the moment I lay eyes on him a small ball of snow bounces against my chest. Another squeal leaves me as I yell
out, “Oh! I’m going to get you for that one!”
His laughter echoes through the trees around us as I chase him deeper into the woods.
I stop in a small clearing and bend down, gathering up enough snow to make my revenge.
My cold hands turn red as I roll the powder into a perfect sphere.
Pulling my bottom lip in between my front teeth, my feet find their way back to a standing position.
I hold my breath as I listen to the silence of the woods, attempting to figure out which way Kameron would’ve gone.
A chill runs through me at the eeriness of the quiet.
Snap! The sound of a twig snapping sounds off alarm bells throughout my head. I spin in place, trying to find the source of the noise. The forest around me lays stagnant, the only sound I can hear is the beating of my own heart.
Crunch. The sound of a boot packing the snow into the ground sends me spinning in the opposite direction. “Kam?” I stutter out, the blood draining from my face.
I drop the snowball to the ground as I search the tree line once more, my heartbeat skyrocketing.
“Kam this isn’t funny!” I cry out, flexing my fingers, desperate to get the shaking under control.
Something deep within me knows that he is not the one hiding amongst the trees.
He has done nothing but prove to me that he wants to be my happiness, surely he wouldn’t want to frighten me?
Another rustle among the dead bushes sends me flying out of there.
I run out of the clearing, hopeful I chose the correct way back to the cabin.
Bits of dead branches bite into my flesh as I push my way through the woods.
Pain radiates through my legs, reminding me I haven’t properly used these muscles in so long.
Keep going, Lilith.
Keep going.
Keep going.
Keep. Fucking. Running.
I turn myself to take a glance behind me, when I notice the man dressed head to toe in camo, a rifle swinging by his side.
Although all I manage is a quick glance, it's evident this man means me harm.
His footsteps continue to sound closer behind me, my fear swallowing me whole.
My fear gets the best of me as I swivel back one more time to see how far he is.
My breath halters as I witness him close another foot between us.
I swing my head forward again, just as I slam into a solid wall of muscle. My body slams against the frozen ground as the sound rings through my ears.
Bang!
Bang!
Bang!