16. Lilith
Chapter sixteen
Lilith
A fter my visit with Leah and her informant, Josiah, at the coffee shop my shoulders feel like the weight is finally being taken off. Everything has felt so heavy since the murder and for the first time since then, it doesn’t feel like the entire world is against me. I have people on my side, people willing to not only believe me, but to fight by my side.
Leah had walked me back over to my building after the meeting, and I could tell it had raised her spirits as well. She talked about the baby with a smile on her face, and her eyes had their sparkle back. By the time we arrived though, she was struggling to keep the food from the cafe down and was ready to rush home. As much as I was enjoying the bliss that came with being around her, I knew it was best that she went home to rest. So I let her leave with no argument, but the silence in my apartment was deafening. While we might be close to catching John’s killer, I still haven’t told anyone about my latest “present”, which was still splattered across my kitchen.
I stare down at the wreckage, willing myself to clean it up, but after a few minutes I settle for promising myself to clean it up this evening. I waltz into my room and begin digging through my closet. Releasing myself from this
chokehold and flinging my thoughts into sex sounds easy right now. I know God wouldn’t want me to use this crutch but my faith has begun to waver. Would an all loving God truly put me through this?
I settle myself into a stool at the bar and let my eyes roam around the club. Upbeat music fills the air while sweaty bodies cling to each other with such promise out on the dance floor. Everyone here is content with having a good time, and I allow their energy to wind its way through me. Here, I was one of them. I wasn’t poor, helpless, Lilith.
I wave the bartender over with a smile on my face. “What can I get you, miss?”
“I’ll have a gin and tonic,” I respond . He gives me a nod before turning his attention to the patron next to me. I scan the club again, attempting to find me escape of the night, but come up short handed. At least until I look at the bar again. A taller man, with beautiful dirty blonde curls, filters in through the mirror behind the lined bottles of alcohol. His light blue eyes attach to mine in the mirror as he stands behind me. Instantly I recognize him as the man I rammed into at the cafe, and my jaw drops open with surprise. His dry chuckle coasts its way along my shoulders before the bartender returns with my drink, blocking my view of the man. I quickly tip and thank him before leaping from my stool and spinning around.
The area behind me is left vacant and my heart drops with disappointment.