2. Sai
CHAPTER 2
Sai
The front door of the flat doesn’t so much open as crash, bang and wallop. I blink and raise my eyebrows as I turn away from the risotto I’ve basically finished cooking. I look towards the corridor at the end of the narrow kitchen, then down at the corgi sitting not very patiently at my feet. “What’s going on, hey, Bow?”
She gives me a little whimper then jumps to her feet, tail wagging in anticipation. As far as she’s concerned, everyone is always delighted to see her, so why would there be a problem? I hear an internal door open and slam, though, so I think something must be up.
Looking down at dinner, I decide to turn off the heat and cover it. It’ll probably keep warm long enough to discover what’s going on. Or…at least not congeal so we can reheat up bowls in the microwave after whatever crisis has (hopefully) been averted.
The kitchen is situated in the middle of our single storey Clapham apartment. I wipe my hands on a tea towel before sticking my head out to look up and down the hallway. Like the kitchen, it’s long and so narrow we have to breathe in if two people pass each other. But this place has been home for over five years now, so I’m very fond of it even if it can be awkward.
The front door opens directly into the living-cum-dining room, where the corridor then leads past the spare room, my office, the kitchen where I’m standing, the bathroom and separate loo, concluding in the primary bedroom where my husband, Jude, is also leaning against the doorframe, his expression one of confusion.
“Was that Tian?” he asks.
I shrug and look back down to the closed door of the spare room. “Must be.”
Wordlessly, the two of us begin walking along the corridor, falling into step. Jude is freshly showered, having worked a day shift at the hospital. I love it when the three of us can manage a Friday evening together, but even though it’s usual for Tian to use his key to let himself in, typically he bounces inside like the bundle of joy he is.
Locking himself in the spare room is definitely cause for concern.
Of course, we call it the spare room out of habit for mixed company. Its actual purpose is our playroom. We created it after we started dating Tian seriously. If we have guests, it’s still possible to tuck most of the childish paraphernalia away, but that’s quite rare these days. It’s my boy’s sanctuary where he can truly be himself.
Right now, he’s using it to hide from us. I don’t like that.
I knock gently on the door. “Tian?” I call out gently.
“Go away!” he practically wails through the wood.
I share a look with my husband. Jude crooks an eyebrow. “Someone’s going to get their bottom smacked,” he says with a snort.
Bow whimpers again and dances around our feet. “Hush,” I tell him softly. “He sounds genuinely upset.”
Jude bites his lip and nods. I know him well enough after so many years to tell that he was making a joke because he’s worried. We both are. Bow, too. She’s got a natural instinct to detect stress and always does her best to ease it by crawling into your lap.
Except, I’m also feeling a surge of protectiveness as well as concern. If someone has hurt my sweet boy…
“Tee,” I call out more firmly. “Daddy and Jude are going to come in now, okay. We’re here to make things better.”
I don’t hear a spoken response, but I’m pretty sure I catch a sniffle. Oh, if my baby is crying, I will break down the blasted door if I have to.
Luckily, Tian hasn’t locked it, so I’m able push inside without incident. As usual, Jude is on the same page as me, and we both dart in but block Bow’s way with our feet. It might be that doggy cuddles are precisely what he needs right now. But as his Daddy, I’m going to assess the situation first and that will be easier without a cold nose and digger claws trying to get into everything, or non-stop barking.
“Good girl, just stay there,” Jude says kindly to her as we manage to close the door between us. She whimpers, but she generally knows if she’s been shut out, it’s for a good reason. We’ll be sure and fuss her extra when we come back out or let her in.
The overhead light is off, but Tian has flicked on the lamp that looks like a hot air balloon. I know this space is for designed to encourage his age play, but I can’t lie and say it doesn’t give me a lot of comfort as well. Tian loves all things vehicular, so I worked hard on a travel theme, giving it an ‘Around the World in 80 Days’ feel.
My baby boy is currently sat on the rug that looks like a map of the globe, hugging an elephant stuffed toy with one arm and angrily thumping coloured wooden blocks on top of each other, trying to make some sort of tower that crashes down as Jude and I step closer to him. Tian makes a high-pitched noise before smacking several of the cubes away.
“Uh-uh,” I lightly scold him. Crouching down, I take his free hand between both of mine, looking directly at his face until he meets my gaze. Eventually, he does, his eyes watery and his chin wobbling. “That’s it. Good boy. We’re not mean to our toys now, are we?”
Honestly, this behaviour is so out of character for him, I can’t help but let my imagination run wild. Did he get fired? He loves his job as a PA. It’s a smallish company, so there’s always a chance they’d have to make redundancies. But I’d really hope not at the very beginning of December.
Lord above. What if he was mugged? Or maybe one of his housemates was a dick again. The old urge to insist he moves in with us rears up again, despite us all having discussed the fact that we don’t really have the space here. But it’s getting desperate. I’d move to a bigger place for him. The three of us are committed, and if he’s having trouble at home…
I’m yanked from my tumbling thoughts as Jude scoots up next to Tian and hugs him tightly from the side. “Was someone mean to you, Tee?” he asks, deliberately using our baby’s little name.
I watch as my boy starts shoving blocks around aimlessly, not looking at either of us. He shrugs. “Doesn’t matter,” he mumbles.
My knees can’t take crouching for much longer, so I shift around and sit cross-legged in front of Tian. He clearly needs to keep his hands busy, so I rest my palms on his thighs and rub my thumbs against the material of his trousers.
“Of course it matters, darling. We love you and we don’t like it when you’re sad.”
Jude nods eagerly, placing a noisy kiss on Tian’s cheek. “Daddy and Jude take care of Baby Tee!” he declares, slipping into his more middle persona as well.
He doesn’t age play the way Tian does. My husband is a pure soul who loves hard and fast, and always sees things through more innocent eyes. He knows when to be professional or mature around different groups of people. But people who know him well appreciate that if anyone’s going to have a spaceship backpack or spend his free time playing video games, it will be him.
To my relief, the kiss gets a sweet little giggle out of Tian. He blinks wet eyes and looks between me and Jude. “I’m being silly,” he whispers.
I shake my head and squeeze his knees. “Your feelings are always valid, baby. Daddy would really love it if you talked us through what’s on your mind so we can help. Can you do that for us?”
Jude watches as Tian chews his lip, a look of adoration on my husband’s face. We’ve been dating Tian for almost three years now and I know we both feel forever about him. If the law would let us marry him, I’m sure we’d be working on a proposal this very Christmas. We’ve also talked about making a big deal about asking him to move in, but a bigger place would be a financial strain on all of us.
Anyway, that’s not the issue right now. He knows how we feel about him, and what we have is still wonderful. As uncharacteristic as this outburst is from my baby, I’m hoping we can sort it all out soon, then get back to enjoying our Friday night together.
I’m Daddy. It’s my job to take care of both my boys, and I take it very seriously.
Tian seems to turn things over in his head a little longer, nibbling on his lip. “You know I love you both so much,” he starts off tentatively.
I’d be lying if I said my heart didn’t falter a fraction in my chest. But as panicked thoughts flash through my mind, the logical part of me knows this probably isn’t a breakup.
Probably. Right?
“We love you, too!” Jude cries, sounding horrified that would be in question. Tian sighs and leans closer into their hug. That gives me a modicum of reassurance that this conversation isn’t going to end in disaster.
“I just don’t want you to feel like you’re not enough,” Tian mumbles, pulling at the edge of the rug.
Ah. Okay, right. I think I have an inkling of where this is going.
Jude and I have always been open in our relationship, whether that be seeking lovers individually or together to play as a threesome. That’s how we met Tian and fell in love with him. He’s the only man we’ve ever gotten serious about outside our own relationship, and we remind him how special he is all the time.
We don’t necessarily have time to date or scene or hook-up with anyone else these days, but Tian has been really looking forward to this Daddy Secret Santa thing one of the kink clubs has organised this year. I think the Daddy he got matched with caught his eye some time ago.
Since we officially became a couple, he’s never hooked up with another guy, let alone gone on a date. He’s never even talked about fancying anyone else. So this Secret Santa thing is kind of a big deal that Jude and I have quietly been very interested in, but he’s been very shy and private about it.
We only know it was happening because Jude overheard something at the club, Bootleg, when the two of them went out dancing the other night and the owner apparently talked to Tian about it. I’m not keen that he’s being secretive, so we’re overdue a chat anyway.
“What do we always say, baby boy?” I prompt him.
He sighs once more and finally meets my eyes again with his own. “We always come home,” he says dutifully.
“And?” I ask.
“And we always communicate,” he tells me, keeping hold of my gaze as he nods.
“That’s right,” Jude chips in earnestly.
“I know that you love us, and we love you,” I say firmly. “Because we have a lot of love to give, don’t we?” Both my boys nod. “And it’s also okay to want to go play and have sexy times with other people if that feels good, right?”
“Right,” they both agree, although Jude with far more conviction that Tian.
“So did something happen with your Secret Santa?” I ask him.
Tian screws his face up and wraps his fist around a block, banging it on the floor. Quick as a flash, I cover his hand with mine and hold it firmly. “Tee, if you keep treating your toys badly, you’ll be getting a smacked botty. Do you understand?”
His lip trembles. “What if Tee wants a smacked botty?”
I feel myself soften. “Then you ask Daddy to help you. Is that what you want?”
He shrugs and looks away again. “I don’t know.”
“You have to use your big boy words and tell Daddy how you’re feeling,” I warn him.
Of course I want to help him. Everything inside me screams to. But right now, the best way I can do that is by getting him to work through what’s got him so upset. I don’t mind if the spanking is a punishment or for pleasure, so long as Tian gets what he needs. In this moment, I’m not entirely sure what’s best.
“I like Daddy Evan,” he blurts out suddenly, his brow creasing and his eyes pooling with more tears.
I glance at Jude who subtly shakes his head at me. No, neither of us have heard this name before, but I’m guessing it’s Tian’s Secret Santa.
“That’s okay, baby boy,” I assure him. “You told us you would be going on a date. That’s fine.”
However, he’s still looking miserable. “Except I’m not,” he says shakily, snuggling closer to Jude. His tone has changed and he doesn’t sound so little right now. “I knew something was wrong as he hasn’t been active on the website since we matched. He messaged me on my way here to say there’s been a mistake and he never actually signed up for the date, his friend did it for him without telling him. But he doesn’t want to plan something last minute. He said it’s not a good time for him which means he doesn’t like me back and…and…”
He’s properly sobbing now, so I lean forwards and gather him and Jude in my arms, hugging them tightly and rubbing Tian’s back. “You are amazing,” I tell Tian firmly. “That’s not fair if Evan’s friend did this without telling him. But it makes sense if he can’t commit to something with twelve hours’ notice. I know you’re disappointed, but you don’t know what Evan’s circumstances are.”
Tian takes a few moments to calm his crying down before leaning back and wiping his eyes on his sleeve. I reach up and grab a tissue from the box on the bedside table, handing it to him before he can also blow his nose on his clothes. He obediently cleans himself up with it, then takes a deep breath and looks between Jude and I.
“I know he’s lonely,” he says with conviction. “I think someone broke his heart a while ago and I just wanted to try and make him happy. No one should be sad at Christmas.”
My heart swells. Both my boys are so caring, always thinking about everyone else around them first. That’s why they need me to be bossy and take care of them, otherwise I know they’d let their own desires fall by the wayside. Well, maybe not Jude. He’d brat his way through anything. But he wasn’t good at asking for the aftercare he needs before we met, and I soon fixed that.
“I quite agree, baby boy,” I tell Tian. “Have you tried talking to him? Perhaps you have an opportunity to get to know each other a little better now, regardless of who signed him up to the Secret Santa date.”
Tian takes another deep breath, and I can see he’s coming out the other side of his tantrum. “I just wrote back ‘Okay’ because I didn’t want to say anything I’d regret.”
I chuckle and lean forwards to place a kiss on his forehead. “Good boy,” I tell him earnestly. “Daddy’s very proud of you. Perhaps tomorrow Daddy and Jude can help you write out a longer message so you can explain how you’re feeling to him. If he doesn’t know it’s upset you this much, then he can’t make it better, can he?”
“What if he doesn’t care?” Tian asks quietly.
“Then he’s a wanker who doesn’t deserve you,” Jude answers hotly.
“Language,” I warn him, but it’s mostly for show. He knows he’s not supposed to use bad words when we’re having little time in the playroom. But I can’t help but love seeing my husband defend my boy like that.
Tian laughs wetly. He’s still shaking off his sadness. However, I can see a sparkle in his eyes again.
I genuinely don’t know this Evan from Adam. He could be a decent chap who’s equally a victim here. Or he could indeed be a wanker that callously hurt my baby’s feelings. Right now, though, I don’t care about him. I care about Tian and will do whatever it takes to make him feel better.
“That’s settled, then,” I say in my big Daddy voice. “We’ll get more answers tomorrow. But right now, Baby Tee, I think Daddy and Jude would love nothing more than to make you feel absolutely amazing. Isn’t that right, Jude?”
Immediately, Jude’s cheeks are flushed and his eyes dilated. It still turns me on so much to see how quickly my husband’s lust takes over for our sweet boy. Naturally, neither of us would ever wish for Tian to be in any predicament or to be feeling low. But Jude thrives on taking care of him just as much as I do. His way is just a little different to mine.
“Yes, Daddy,” he says breathlessly to me.
When it’s just us, he’ll either use my name or, depending on the scene, ‘Sir’ or ‘Master’. Tian sways between liking more regular sexy times and staying little. When he’s like that, Jude loves encouraging him by calling me ‘Daddy’ as well. I love that all three of us have our own unique dynamics with each other. It’s one of the most beautiful aspects of being polyamorous.
Jude looks back at Tian. “Would you like that, Baby Tee? Can I kiss you and play with you?”
Tian’s nuzzling his nose against Jude’s as he nods, their hug becoming something more as their mouths find each other. “Yes, please, please,” he begs.
I’m not sure what tomorrow will bring and how much Tian actually cares about this Evan guy. Perhaps he’s just caught up in this moment of rejection. But now he’s settled down, I intend to remind him exactly who he belongs to, even if it takes all night.
Especially if it takes all night.