Chapter 36 Emmett #2
“Yeah. Of course.”
Opening the back door, I follow Reese out onto the porch then lead her to the dock that’ll take us to the water.
It’s a perfect summer day. The sun is reflecting off the water, but we’re surrounded by enough trees that provide plenty of shade from the heat.
The air is crisper out here than back home in Chicago.
But that’s not saying Chicago doesn’t have its own charms. That city has been a needed contrast to the years of solitude I spent out here.
We walk down the dock together, and when we reach the far end, Reese kicks off a sandal and dips her toe to test the water.
“It feels nice.”
She looks beautiful, standing on the edge of the water, trees surrounding her. If we didn’t have a game tonight, I’d happily spend all day with her out here.
But we still have a couple of hours at our disposal, so I toe off my shoes and toss my socks off to the side before taking a seat on the edge of the wooden dock. “Sit with me.”
Letting my feet sink into the water, I usher Reese to do the same. She kicks her other sandal off and I settle her between my legs with her back to my front.
We’re quiet for a long while, the sounds of nature playing their own soundtrack for us. She closes her eyes, dropping her head back on my shoulder as the sun illuminates her face.
Utterly content and at peace. With me. Just me.
From an outside point of view, it doesn’t seem like I can offer her much. I can’t provide for her financially. Though I make more money than I’ll ever need, she will always make more. Materialistically, I can’t give her anything that she can’t give herself.
But I can provide for her in every other sense of the word.
I can take care of her in every other way.
I can make her a part of my unconventional family that I love so much.
I can listen when she’s had a hard day. I can fight with her when she needs a safe battle.
Be her sounding board when she needs to talk something through.
I want to spend so many more days making her laugh, flirting with her, encouraging her, and challenging her the way she challenges me.
I want to be her closest friend because she’s mine.
I wonder if she knows that.
“Reese,” I whisper.
Eyes closed with the sun on her face, she hums in response.
“I know I told you that there was no part of me that wanted to be your friend, but I think you might be my very best one.”
A smile curves her lips. “That’s good, Em. Because it’s been occurring to me that I’d like to hang out with you for a lot of years to come, and that might be kind of hard to do if we aren’t friends.”
My chest splits with the easy confession. “A lot of years, huh?”
“A whole lot of years.”
I tighten my arms around her middle.
There’s something different about falling in love this time than when I did in my twenties. When I was young, finding love seemed like a rite of passage. A guarantee. A part of life everyone gets to experience and that it was simply my turn.
But now, getting this chance with Reese, it’s filled with more gratitude that I somehow found it again. There’s more of a fight to hold on to it. More desperation to keep it. Love feels more sacred this time around because I didn’t think I’d get the chance to experience it again.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her, but I keep that information locked up for another day.
“Can I ask you something?” she says quietly.
“Of course. Anything.”
Reese is silent for a moment. She swallows hard as a pinch forms between her brows. Whatever this question might be seems to have been weighing on her for a long while. “Do you think you have it in you to move on?”
Move on from her? Absolutely not.
“I don’t understand.”
She shifts between my legs, pulling her feet out of the water to turn and face me.
“There’s no wrong answer, Em. I’m just trying to manage my expectations here.
That first night I slept in your room. The night you told me about Miller and her mom.
You said you didn’t have it in you to move on.
I’m just wondering if that’s changed for you. ”
She studies me for my answer before the eye contact becomes too much and she forces herself to look away.
But I’m sitting here trying to rack my brain for what the hell she’s talking about. I retrace that conversation in my mind until I get to the part she’s referring to. The part when she asked me if I ever moved on after Claire.
I was drifting to sleep and didn’t have it in me to fully explain. I thought she understood, but it’s clear she’s been holding on to my words since that night.
“Reese.” I cup her face, bringing her eyes back to mine. “You misunderstood, baby.”
“How?”
“When I said I didn’t have it in me to move on, I didn’t mean emotionally.
Or that my heart was still taken. I meant that I physically didn’t have it in me to move on.
I was a single dad. I was exhausted all the time.
I didn’t have the time to focus on someone who wasn’t my daughter.
I was too busy trying to figure out how to do right by her.
And by the time Miller was old enough to be on her own, I was older too and thought I’d missed the train on the whole ‘finding a life partner’ thing. ”
Her brows lift in surprise. “Oh.”
I chuckle. “Yeah. Oh.”
“Well, that makes a lot of sense.”
She offers me a sheepish smile before turning back to the water, resting her head on my shoulder again.
But there’s something else she should know. Something that I haven’t said to anyone else because it hasn’t mattered until now. Until her. And she, more than anyone, needs to understand.
“I loved Claire.”
Reese nods against my shoulder. “I know.”
“But we had one year together, and it’s been over twenty years since.
After spending some of those early ones grieving—for myself, but mostly for Miller—I’ve been able to shift that grief to gratitude.
The thing I love most about Claire now is her daughter.
I thank God every day that I met her when I did because Miller needed me.
She is the best part of my life and I’ll forever be grateful to her mom for trusting me to raise her.
But I’m not still in love with someone else. ”
I’m in love with you.
But still, I hold those words in. Wanting to use them at a time that can’t be misconstrued with needing to prove a point.
Everything I said sinks in for Reese and as she melts into my chest, I feel the weight of them release a bit of the pressure. And when I crane to look at her, her nose is a shade of pink I’m not accustomed to seeing.
“That’s a really lovely outlook, Emmett.” Her voice sounds thick. “I just needed to understand where your head was at, for my own expectations.”
“My head is here, Reese. My heart too. You’ve got the whole thing.”
Turning to look at me, she runs a palm over my jaw, cupping my face. “Just know that you can talk about her with me whenever you want. It doesn’t make me uncomfortable. I’m glad you had someone to love you before. That would have been a long time to go without it.”
I drop my forehead to hers. “Are you calling me old?”
She exhales a laugh, and it helps her to swallow down some of the emotions. “Miller should know about her. Max too. So don’t ever feel like you can’t speak about her when I’m around.”
“Thank you for that.”
Reese pops a quick kiss on my lips before she drops her head back to my shoulder, letting the sun shine on her face again.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to wrap my head around her. Having her in my life. Being able to share parts of me with her. This house. These conversations. My important moments.
It reminds me of another important moment I want to share with her.
“Kai and Miller’s wedding is coming up.”
“Yeah? She’s going to make a beautiful bride.”
“She is.” I grin at the image. “Will you go with me?”
Reese slowly sits up, turning back to face me. “To your daughter’s wedding?”
I nod.
“I . . .” Her mouth closes, trying to find the words. “That’s big, Em.”
“It is big. So will you go with me?”
“But Miller—”
“It was her idea.” I cut Reese off before she tries to tell me that Miller might not want her there. “She brought it up.”
“She did?”
“I believe her words were along the lines of ‘our family is growing, and you deserve to have your person there.’”
Reese’s smile slowly blooms. “Your person, huh?”
“Yeah. Whether you like it or not, you’re my person, Reese. And I’d really like to celebrate that day with you. The guest list is small. Just the team and a few friends. It’s out in the middle of nowhere. The only people who will see us together will be those who support us. It’ll be safe.”
She thinks it over for only a moment before she gives me her answer.
“Okay.” She leans in and presses her smiling lips to mine. “I’ll go with you.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes. I’d love to.”
I kiss her once more before the energy flowing through me becomes too much. I’m too amped up. Too excited. Too fucking giddy around this woman.
Slipping out from behind her, I stand and strip off my shirt, tossing it onto the dock.
“What are you doing?” There’s so much joy in her tone, matching the way I feel.
“Going for a dip. And you’re coming with me.”
She bursts a shocked laugh. “No, I’m not. I don’t have a bathing suit.”
I drop my pants, kicking them off to the side.
“You don’t need one. There’s no one else for miles.”
“I’m not skinny-dipping with you, Emmett.”
“And why not?”
“Because we’re not kids.”
“Then why do I feel like one?”
That admission halts any retort she may have.
Yeah, I feel like a kid with her. Excited for what life has to offer. Excited to spend it with her.
Reese stands from the dock, joining me with an eager smile on her lips.
“Come on, baby. Slip that dress off and have some fun with me.”
And she does, letting it pool on the wooden planks before she takes my hand so we can jump in the water together.