Chapter 22
ELOISE
T his sickness seems to be getting worse, and whoever labelled it as morning sickness should be fired because it’s not just in the morning.
It’s all-day sickness, and although I haven’t actually thrown anything up yet, my stomach keeps threatening it.
I didn’t sleep at all last night, I just kept thinking about Ren and all those pictures he drew.
I have no idea how long he’s been living in the hovel across the street.
I don’t know when his mind started to conjure up all these images of our lives together, but the more I think about it, the less scared they make me.
That sketch of him cutting me was so wrong and sadistic.
So why can’t I get it out of my head? Why did I touch myself in the shower last night, just thinking about how it might feel?
The sordid truth is, I like being at his mercy.
I like him being in control, and I like his pain.
I even like that there’s a part of him inside me, right now, making me feel as if I’m going to throw up the breakfast I forced down.
I’d smiled a little when I was brushing my teeth this morning, thinking of the picture I saw of me dipping my toes in the ocean, and smiling down at a neat, little baby bump.
I’ve never been in the ocean before. It’s definitely the kind of thing I’d want to experience for the first time with Ren.
Another dose of reality hits with a thump when I realize how fucked up all this is.
Ren hasn’t just been following me; he’s based his whole life around me. He’s mapped out our future, and I don’t even know how I feel about the sketches he’s drawn of me with cuts on my skin. I’m pretty sure that I shouldn’t have started fantasizing about them myself, though.
The work day seems to drag longer than usual. I skip lunch because I really can’t stomach it, and when home time eventually comes around, I’m looking forward to going home and crashing out.
I’m desperate to sleep. I need to give my mind a rest for a few hours, and as I walk back toward my apartment, I instinctively look out for any signs of Ren.
It’s crazy that I’m a little disappointed that I don’t see any; most women would be at the police station getting a restraining order if they were me.
But I miss him. It’s been just over twenty-four hours, and already I feel as if a part of me isn’t there anymore.
A month may not seem like a long time, but it’s all the time I’ve needed to discover that despite all of Ren’s flaws, I’m in love with him.
I get to my apartment and look up across to the warehouse like I did this morning, but Ren isn’t looking out this time.
I can’t sense him out here with me either, and I shake my head and try to get fucking real when I start feeling disapointed again.
I told the man to stay away from me; this is what I wanted.
Once I’m inside, I check my mailbox, and seeing that it’s empty, I head up the stairs, preparing for a long night of feeling sorry for myself.
Opening the door, I throw my keys on the side unit and see Ren sitting on the edge of my bed with my travel case beside him. I don’t know whether to be relieved or angry.
“I told you to stay away from me,” I remind him, doing my best to look mad at him, because that’s how I should be feeling. He looks as if he’s been in a fight; his lip is split, and one of his eyes is swollen. I want to ask how it happened, but I know he won’t tell me.
“I warned you I wasn’t very good at that.” He attempts a smile, and I reopen the door for him to leave.
“You need to go, Ren.” I have to be strong. I have to think logically before I jump into things feet first again. It’s not just me I have to think about anymore.
“I can’t do that, Kitten.” He gets up and starts slowly walking toward me, and I feel nerves and excitement dance in my stomach as he nears.
“You need to come with me,” he whispers.
“I’m not going anywhere with you. Leave.” I gesture with my eyes out the door, and he shocks the hell out of me when he slams it shut and breathes through his nostrils like a bull.
“Kitten, I love this stubborn little act. It’s real cute, but I’m not playing games. You need to come with me.” I can see the frustration in his eyes, he looks crazy mad, and the hand he has pressed against the door to keep it shut is shaking from all the tension he’s holding onto.
“Ren, you're scaring me,” I tell him, hoping it’ll make him see some sense and calm down.
“I’m not leaving here without you. I packed you a bag; you're coming with me.” He snatches at my wrist and drags me toward the bed, and I instantly go into defensive mode when I think about the little life inside me.
“Ren, I have to tell you something.” I lost the test at some point between here and the warehouse. For all I know, Ren could already know I’m pregnant; perhaps this is why he’s acting this way. Right now, it’s my only defence.
“I already know. You left this behind yesterday.” He takes the pregnancy test stick out of his pocket and places it on top of the travel bag. “And this is exactly why you need to come with me.” His voice comes out a little more frantic.
“You're not making any sense. Do you honestly expect me to leave here with you after everything I saw yesterday?”
“Eloise, we’re gonna talk about what you saw yesterday.
I’m gonna explain it, but you gotta start being honest with yourself.
Were you really that surprised by it all?
You already knew I was obsessed with you.
You quit asking questions weeks ago because you knew you wouldn’t like the answers.
” He stares back at me, making it hard to argue when everything he’s saying is true.
“You shouldn’t have all this stress; it’s bad for the baby.” He shakes his head, looking disappointed in himself.
“Then don’t break into my apartment. How did you even get in here?
” I look back at the door, and the more I think about it, the more I realize this isn’t the first time he’s gotten in here without me letting him in.
The other night, when he left so abruptly, he came back to me while I was sleeping.
I didn’t even question how he got through the door.
“I told you, I’m gonna explain all that, but first we gotta get out of here. I’m gonna get you to some place safe, then we can talk. I promise.”
“Safe from what, Ren? You're acting crazy.”
“Don’t make me do this by force, Kitten. I don’t wanna hurt you or the baby.”
“You won’t,” I tell him confidently, because all those times he told me he would never hurt me. I believed him.
“Eloise, this isn’t a game; you're in some real danger, both of you are, and until I know what that danger is, I have to get you out of here.”
“Are you mad about it?” I touch my hand over my tummy protectively.
“Mad about it? Are you kidding?” He laughs at me as he steps forward and places his hand over mine.
“I couldn’t be happier.” His nose brushes against my cheek, and his lips tease mine, making me forget why I’m putting a shield up between us.
“Now, are you gonna be a good girl and let me keep you, and this precious little thing I put inside you safe?” he asks, making my insides melt as he kisses me, and I quickly push him away before I give in to temptation.
“What danger, Ren? How do I know you haven’t made all this up?” I need to start thinking with my head and not my heart. I can’t avoid questions anymore.
“Baby, I will put you over my shoulder and carry you out of here if I have to,” he warns in that same calm voice. “You gotta trust me.”
I stare up at him, and despite what my head says, everything else inside me is screaming to do as he says.
“Fine.” I go to lift my bag off the bed, but he grabs my hand.
“Uh, uh, uh.” He shakes his head. “I got it.” Lifting up the bag in one hand, he takes hold of my hand in the other and starts leading me to the door. I swallow down that sick feeling in my throat, not sure if it's coming from being pregnant or fear of doing the wrong thing.
Ren keeps a tight hold of my hand as we cross the street and head down the alley beside the warehouse.
He passes the door that was open yesterday and moves on to the small empty parking lot around the back.
Taking a set of keys from his pocket, he crouches down to unlock the roller door on one of the garages.
After he’s pushed it all the way up, I stand shocked at what I see behind it.
“ Holy shit. ” I stare at the car as he opens the trunk and tosses my bag inside.
“Ren, that’s a Maserati.” I stand stunned and slightly concerned about where it came from.
“I didn’t know you had a thing for cars.” He opens the passenger door for me.
“I don’t, I just…Ren, where did you get this?” I start to panic when I realize how new it is; the paintwork is flawless, and when I slide in past the door, the interior is pristine, too. It even has that new car smell.
“It’s not gonna be conventional once the kid gets here, but it’ll do for a couple of months.
” He shrugs as I look around at all the gadgets on the dash.
Ren leaves me to explore as he paces around the hood, then gets into the driver’s seat beside me.
He leans across to my seat, and I brace myself for him to kiss me, but instead, he tugs on my safety belt, pulling it around me and ensuring I’m buckled in.
“Gotta keep you both safe.” He smiles before pressing a kiss to my lips and sitting back to fix his own belt.
I listen to the engine purr when he starts it up, feeling the vibration come from under my seat, and as he pulls out and drives us to the top of the alley, all I can do is pray that I’ve made the right decision.
Ren drives us further and further outside of the city, not saying a word and focusing on the road. I can’t go on pretending as if all this is normal for a second longer. I need to know what his plan is and where he’s taking me.
“Are you gonna tell me more about this danger I’m in?” We came off the freeway ages ago, the roads are getting windier, and the woodland surrounding them is getting thicker.
“I told you, I’m gonna tell you everything once we get where we’re going.” He reaches his hand over the console to my thigh, and I can’t deny that it feels good to have his hands on me again, especially when he moves that hand to rest over my stomach.
“I get that you're happy about this, Ren, but aren’t you a little scared too?” I’m curious about what he’s really thinking.
“What's there to be scared about?” He looks at me in confusion.
“Lots of things. We’re gonna be parents, are you really ready for that?
We barely know each other. What if, in a couple of months, we figure out we don’t like each other?”
“That's not gonna happen.” He shakes his head and laughs at me.
“It’s not just that. What about finances? I don’t earn much from my job, and I’m assuming that your investments don’t do all that great either. How are we gonna afford to raise a child?”
“I don’t want you worrying about any of that, I got it covered.” He pulls down a private road that seems to head us deeper into the woods, and when huge cast iron gates appear in front of us, I look past them to the mansion-style house and really start to worry.
“Is this your plan?” I laugh through my tears. “You're gonna grand theft auto our child into college, and break into rich people's houses?” I drop my head into my hands in despair, and when I hear him start to laugh, I look up and see that the gates have started opening.
“Ren?” I’m confused when he pulls through them and drives right up to the front door.
“Master Ren.” An older guy, dressed smartly in a suit, looks pleased to see him once he steps out of the car and rushes to get my door for me.
“How’s it going, Otto?” Ren offers me my hand so he can help me out of my seat like a gentleman. “Miss Meadow’s here has a bag in the trunk, can you have it taken up to the main bedroom?”
“Ren?” I tug on his hand, wondering what the hell is happening.
“Certainly, sir, it’s nice to have you home. Your uncle will be pleased.” I notice Otto’s eyes roll as we pass him, through the doors, and into an open staircase grand foyer.
“Nice to have you home?” I repeat the old guy's words, staring at Ren and trying to absorb everything that's happened in the last hour and a half.
“Well, well, well. The wanderer returns.” A voice bellows from behind him, and Ren snarls before turning to face the man standing by one of the doors. He’s equally as tall as Ren, but much rounder and he’s looking really pissed.
“Head on upstairs, take the third door on the left, and make yourself comfortable,” Ren tells me, taking my hand and kissing it softly. I seem to forget all the questions I have when he touches his hand to my tummy and strokes it with a smile. “I’ll be up real soon.”
“Ren, we really need to talk.” I glance up at the high ceilings, confused by the grandeur of this place compared with the warehouse.
“I know we do, and we will,” he tells me seriously.
“Follow me, Miss Meadows, I’ll show you the way.” He hobbles past me, carrying my bag and looking like he’s struggling.
“I can take that,” I offer, and just as Ren goes to speak, Otto interrupts us both.
“Not on my shift, you won’t.” He smiles at me warmly as he starts leading me up the stairs.