Epilogue
About Two Years Later
Tess Gardner Is Ready … to Park Your Car
In her first film role since wrapping up
the Vindicators series, the actress says
she just wants to have a good time.
by Caroline Wen for Vanity Fair
For Valet Girl, Tess Gardner’s first role since closing out the Vindicators quadrilogy, the actress says she couldn’t resist “going a little method.” “I’ve always thought I’d be a great valet,” Gardner says with a laugh, early into our lunch on the patio at All Time in Los Angeles.
“So if I was going to do the movie, I wanted to try it for real.”
Gardner, in her mid-thirties, still resembles her superhero persona offscreen, even dressed in a casual black dress and a pair of sneakers she claims her stylist asked her not to wear, and sunglasses she pops up on her head once our conversation begins, even though it’s sunny in the Los Feliz neighborhood where Gardner owns a home.
Her wavy hair is somewhere between blonde and brown—a bit darker and freer than Princess Platinum’s controlled ponytail in her titular shade of blonde—but even when she isn’t smiling—which is rare—Gardner’s green eyes still hold on to a hint of that superhero gleam.
Her rescue dog, Rosie, a purebred pug Gardner adopted about six years ago, tugs on her leash as Gardner calmly sips her ginger turmeric tea, as if this is how she usually consumes a hot beverage.
“Rosie is learning to become a café dog,” Gardner explains. “We took a café dog class—did you know those existed?—but every day is still a journey.”
I bring the conversation back to Valet Girl.
Gardner claims it was tough finding a valet company willing to let the actress park cars, but eventually she was given a shift at a Valley restaurant that would prefer to remain anonymous.
How did it go? “I’ll admit it was more stressful than I expected.
I know that I’m a great driver, but the pressure of driving someone else’s car weighed on me more than I anticipated.
Stunt cars on set? Whatever. This was another story.
Also, my everyday car is pretty small—I don’t even have a real back seat.
So I’m not sure I was ready to squeeze giant SUVs in and out of small spots, but I got through it.
I cleaned up in tips! If I ever decided to abandon acting, I think I could have a future at the valet lot. ”
Valet Girl is the first film from Gardner’s new production company, Girl Goblins I’m aware that it might have gone very differently.
But I also want to think positively. I’ve been more embraced than I ever expected, after all, by fans.
And Pantheon didn’t push back on anything, as far as I know!
For the Vindicators 4 premiere, no one said that Rebecca couldn’t walk the red carpet with me.
They only asked I wear more than a robe when we did it, which was coincidentally what my wife demanded too. ”
Next up for Gardner is an “exciting and meaty” role in a new play by playwright Lucía Molina.
Earlier this year she earned a Tony nomination for her leading role in the Broadway production of Stephanie Hoff’s Hometown.
“I’m redesigning my life so I can do more theatre.
I love film, but the intimacy and immediacy of the stage, the relationship with your company members and the audience—there’s just nothing like it. ”
The show is being developed at the Public Theater in New York, where Gardner and Frisch live “some of the time.” “I’m technically a resident of California, and she’s technically a resident of New York, so we’re constantly looking at our schedules and figuring out the maximum possible amount we can live in the same place at the same time.
” I wonder aloud if those kind of logistics put a lot of wear and tear on a marriage, but Gardner quickly disabuses me of this notion.
“I feel like girls spend their whole lives growing up being told they can be anything they want to be, but also not to be too ambitious or gross about it. So to spend my life with someone who’s as into her career as I am mine, it’s the best. Every time one of us gets an offer that’s geographically inconvenient, the other is always so quick to say, ‘You have to take this, we’ll figure it out later,’ and we always do.
I hung out in Chicago while she directed a show there, she hung out in New Mexico for a bunch of my Vindicators 4 shoot.
And now we’ll be in New York together for the next several months while I’m acting in this play and she’s directing a new revival of Les Liaisons Dangereuses at the Roundabout. ”
For now, though, Gardner is excited for the upcoming premiere of Valet Girl and future projects from her production company, as well as the early summer weather of Los Angeles, which she says she ranks as the best in the world.
She invites me along for a walk through the neighborhood with Rosie after we eat (for those curious: me, a turkey sandwich; Gardner, the Nicoise salad), and points out the blooming lavender of the jacaranda trees, almost like tangible proof of LA’s unique seasonal superiority.
“I’m so lucky to travel so many incredible places for work, but I chose this city a decade and a half ago, and to live out such a happily-ever-after here, well, I’m the luckiest girl alive. ”
Gardner checks the time on her gold, pink, and orange watch and apologizes; it’s later than she thought, and she and Frisch are hosting dinner tonight for Gardner’s brother and his girlfriend Aisha Ward.
“I decide to make these elaborate dinners for people, which means I need to spend most of my afternoon in the kitchen. Also, if you’re about to ask, no, no one expects this from me.
I’ve fully taken it upon myself, which Rebecca will remind me later when she’s trying to have a regular conversation and I’m saying something unhinged about marinades. ”
We walk back to my car, and I can’t resist asking, holding up my key ring.
Gardner lights up and hands me her dog’s leash before hopping into my Subaru Crosstrek and expertly navigating it out of a tight spot and off of Hillhurst Avenue and onto a quieter side street.
Gardner absolutely could have a backup gig, if she ever needed one, but something tells me she’s never going to have to quit her day job.