Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
Dan opened his eyes. His phone buzzed on the nightstand.
He reached for it, his sleep-befuddled fingers missing it the first time before he finally curled them around it, the vibrations traveling up his arm.
He stabbed at the screen when his bleary eyes picked out Gary’s name. “Hey.” His head felt heavy.
There was a pause. “I woke you, didn’t I? I’m sorry.”
“S’okay. I didn’t intend to sleep this long. What time is it anyway?” He focused on the screen. “Oh my God. It’s four o’clock.” Dan sat up. “Do you need me? I can be there in—”
“Relax. I was only calling to say you could rest easy. Riley and I are going through the crossover list—again—and Lewis is checking out a new lead, but we’re almost done for the day.” Another pause. “Plus I was worried about you.”
An effusion of warmth spread through him. “Thanks for the concern, but you don’t need to worry about me.” When Gary fell silent, goose bumps broke out on his arms. “Gary? Something wrong?”
“Would it be okay if I stopped by your hotel? Just for a chat.”
Dan took in his room in one glance. “Sure. When were you thinking of?” Hopefully after he’d cleaned up the place.
“Maybe in an hour? And to sweeten the deal, I promise not to turn up empty-handed.”
You could turn up naked and it wouldn’t bother me none.
He chuckled. “Sounds like an offer I can’t refuse. Buzz me when you get here. I’ll have to come down. It’s one of those places where you need a key card to use the elevators. I’ll meet you in the lobby.”
“See you then.” Gary disconnected.
The prospect of Gary’s visit sent a welcome burst of energy tingling through him, and he launched himself from the bed, heading for the bathroom. A hot shower would make him feel human again. Except that was bullshit, and he knew it.
He wanted to be at his best for Gary.
Dan eyed the white cardboard box with interest. “What’s in there?” He’d picked up a hint of chocolate in the elevator coming up to the room. “And iced coffee… how did you know?”
“It was a hunch. I get them now and then.” Gary opened the lid to reveal…
Dan grinned. “Chocolate cream pie. Oh, I like you.” He leaned against the seat cushions, holding his plastic cup in one hand, and sucked on the straw. “Damn. You were right. Good coffee.”
Gary glanced at the room. “Wow. Very nice. You even get a couch.”
Dan studied him. “You didn’t come here to bring me coffee and chocolate deliciousness, did you?”
Gary sagged against the cushions. “Why do I get the feeling I’m an open book to you?”
You have no idea.
“Maybe you’re easy to read. But you did say you wanted to chat, remember? So what are we chatting about?”
Gary took a long drink of his coffee, then put the cup down on the table in front of them. “Something I didn’t feel comfortable discussing at the precinct.”
Dan arched his eyebrows. “Color me intrigued.” Something fluttered in his belly, and his heartbeat quickened.
“When we were in Travers’s office this morning… I thought you were brave, by the way, speaking out like that. I meant to say as much at the time, but we got called out to Liberty Drive, and….” Gary’s face tightened. “You didn’t owe Lewis an explanation. He was being an asshole.”
“He’s been an asshole since we met in Travers’s office. I’m getting used to it.” When silence fell once more, Dan gave him a speculative glance. “If there’s something you want to ask, please, come right out with it. I promise you, there’s little you can say that will shock me.”
Except if Gary suddenly pointed to the bed and told Dan he wanted them in it, Dan had a feeling his heart might explode.
Gary said nothing for a moment but took another long drink.
He set the cup down, straightened, and looked Dan in the eye.
“You said you know guys who use GHB. So… maybe I got this all wrong, but I kind of assumed you learned this in an intimate situation. But at the restaurant, you told me you’re wary of relationships, and why.
So I guess I was trying to understand how the two match up. ”
It felt as if someone had turned the room’s thermostat way up.
Gary flushed. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad you have some experience with this.
It could be invaluable. God knows who I’d discuss it with if you weren’t here.
” His Adam’s apple bobbed sharply. “Actually, I do. I’d have gone straight to Cory.
” The flush in his cheeks almost matched his hair color.
“You know what? This is none of my business. Forget I asked.”
Dan grabbed his cup and drank, mostly to get his throat to work.
He kept his focus on the clear plastic lid.
“I hook up occasionally with guys I meet. I’m not on Grindr, or any similar app for that matter, so I can’t help you there.
Yes, I’ve been offered GHB from time to time, and I’ve always declined.
But about what I said at the restaurant—” He raised his chin to gaze at Gary’s flushed face.
“—I like to keep things casual for a reason. There have been a couple of times where it was more than just sex. And yes, I wanted that. But the closer we got, the more entangled my emotions became.”
“And then you saw something.” When Dan blinked, Gary continued. “You told me as much at dinner. Remember?”
That whole evening had been reduced to a blur once he’d seen Gary’s tattoo.
Dan took a couple of deep breaths. “I don’t read minds, okay?
But when I touch people, I see things they’ve done, things they might not want others to see.
And that one time, the guy I was falling for?
” He shuddered. “He had a cruel streak, something I hadn’t even glimpsed until then.
You know how it is when you first meet someone.
You’re on your best behavior, right? You want to make a good impression. ”
“I guess.”
“Well, we’d been together a couple of months, and yes, I had it bad, but not bad enough that I wanted to stick around and see what happened once he got comfortable being with me.
Because I’d seen how he’d treated his exes.
” He drank a little more. “When it happened again with a different guy—different circumstances, though—I got the message. Stick with sex and keep my heart out of it.”
Gary’s eyes widened. “You can’t live like that.” His voice quavered. “Shutting yourself off from the possibility of falling in love with someone. Is that what you really want?”
That tremor shook him. “You’re a good man. You care for people.”
“Of course I do.”
“So answer me this. Are you in a relationship?”
Gary huffed. “I’m a cop.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“Yes, it is. It takes a special kind of person to put up with a cop’s life because there are times when that life takes over. There’s no such thing as a normal day. There’s a lot of stress, emotion, even danger.”
“So you don’t date? How does that make you any different from me?”
Silence.
Dan sighed. “And I’m not shutting myself off. I don’t want to stay single all my life. I want someone to come home to, someone to share my hopes and dreams. But like you said, it will take a very special person to cope with me. With my gift.”
“Now I get why you said sometimes it feels more like a curse,” Gary murmured.
“Yes, but I have faith. He’s out there, waiting for me.”
And I pray to God he’s sitting right in front of me.
“Then I hope you find him.” Gary glanced at his watch. “I should go.”
Don’t. Please don’t. “Can I ask a case-related question?”
He stilled. “Sure.”
“The bottles of GHB at the crime scenes… did they have any prints on them?”
“Not one.”
“And what about today?”
Gary smiled. “You’re a smart man. There were prints on it, but they belonged to the deceased. Yet another argument for this being the work of a copycat.”
“Then might I suggest another line of inquiry? See if you can locate any of Robin Fields’s exes. Find out if he ever used drugs during sex.”
“You don’t think he did, do you?”
Dan shook his head. “It would’ve been easy enough to press his fingers to the bottle when he was dead, wouldn’t it?
To make it look as if he was the last person to touch it.
And while you’re at it, check the papers, the news sites.
Maybe word has gotten out about the GHB.
I’m not suggesting that’s what killed him—I think it was simply there as a prop.
” He glanced at the box. “You can’t leave yet. You haven’t eaten your pie.”
Gary smiled, and the light in his eyes set Dan’s pulse racing again. “Then I’d better stay and eat it.”
Dan picked up the remote. “I was going to find a movie to watch. Something familiar that doesn’t require deep thought.” He hesitated, then continued, “You could stay and watch it with me. Unless you’re leaving because there’s somewhere else you have to be.”
Stay. Please stay.
“I was going home to eat, that’s all.”
“Then eat with me.” Dan grabbed the in-room dining menu.
Gary’s eyes twinkled. “I thought the food here didn’t grab you.”
“They do mac and cheese.” He rolled his eyes. “It’s pretty difficult to ruin that. And there’s a blueberry pizza.”
Gary’s lips parted. “Blueberry… pizza?”
He nodded. “With vanilla cream cheese, hazelnuts….”
“Stop with the sales talk. You had me at blueberries.” Then he glanced at the white box. “Except… we’ve got chocolate cream pie, remember?”
Dan grinned. “Two desserts. Works for me.” He handed Gary the remote. “You can choose the movie.”
“You sure?”
He smiled. “I trust you.” For reasons I might never share with you.
That didn’t stop him longing to do just that.