Chapter Eight – Alex
I checked my watch. Almost time for the shift changeover. But, if I was being honest, there was something else on my mind entirely – something a whole lot more pressing.
And something I knew I needed to clear the air about before either of us could move forward.
It was just past midnight, and Solomon stepped back through the apartment door, yawning and stretching his arms above his head.
You ready? he asked me, and I nodded. But, before he could head through to his room, I caught his arm.
Hey, I told him. We need to talk.
He frowned at me, playing dumb.
What about?
You know what about.
His eyes flashed for a moment, with an emotion I wasn’t entirely sure I could read.
Her?
Her.
He sighed and leaned back against the door.
What about her?
I ran a hand over my shaved head, a habit I’d picked up at times of stress. And, right now, fuck, I needed it – needed something to get my head off the girl sleeping in the room across from us right now, the girl I wanted nothing more than to wake up and...
No. I couldn’t let my mind go there. I couldn’t. I had to control myself. I was better than that. I wasn’t going to let myself get drawn into whatever fucked-up desire had started to fill my head the moment I had seen her in that robe the day before. I wasn’t going to allow myself to be controlled by that. I prided myself on being able to run my life exactly as I wanted to, not giving in to any bullshit that I knew wouldn’t have led me to a good place.
You’re into her, aren’t you? I asked him bluntly. He eyed me for a moment, his face not giving anything away.
You are too, he shot back. I gritted my teeth. Fuck, I wished I could deny it, but there was no way I could. He knew me too well for that. Even though we’d known each other for only a year or so, the two of us had worked together so closely that there was nothing either of us could sneak by each other. Every little detail was out in the open, whether we wanted it or not, and here, now, he knew just what was on my mind.
Yes, I am, I growled, more angry at myself than I was at him. She’s...I don’t know what she is. Like a succubus.
A what?
I’ll explain another time, I replied, waving my hand. I...I need to know that you’re not going to do anything about it. That’s what I need to hear from you right now.
He parted his lips. I could see in his face that he wanted to assure me I had nothing to worry about, but he couldn’t, not quite, not totally – no, some part of him knew, whether he wanted to admit it or not, that he couldn’t control himself around her. He couldn’t keep himself together.
Come on, man, I told him sharply. You know we can’t let anything happen.
I know that, he fired back. But it’s not that easy. You’ve seen her. You know how she is-
I don’t know how she’s been acting with you, I pointed out. Has she said something to you? Made a move, or something?
He shook his head.
I don’t think so, he replied. It’s hard to tell, with her. It’s like... it’s like she doesn’t even know what she wants.
Yeah, so it’s up to us to make sure we do, I pointed out. And make sure we don’t fuck this up by getting involved with her. You know what Maxim would do to us if he found out that we were even having this conversation?”
He winced. He knew the answer to that as well as I did, even if he didn’t want to admit it. Maxim Antonov wasn’t exactly known for taking well to people messing with his family, and his daughter. Yeah, it would have been more than anyone could be expected to handle.
You’ve got my back on this, don’t you? I asked him. I needed him to say yes. I needed him to tell me that he wasn’t going to fuck this up for us, no matter how tempted he might have been. Because, right now, it felt as though I was relying on him, trusting him not to make a mess of things. If he made a move, if he did something we couldn’t take back, I wasn’t sure if I had it in me to hold off myself. Even the thought of him touching her brought a flare of jealousy up in my mind, and it hadn’t even happened.
Yet. It hadn’t happened yet.
Look, man, she’s just toying with us, he protested. It doesn’t even matter. Nothing’s going to happen. She’ll get bored of us soon enough, and then-
And what if she doesn’t? I demanded. I was well aware that I was asking myself as much as I was asking him – I was pleading with him to tell me what I needed to hear, that it was crazy for either of us to think about her like that, that we would have landed in more trouble than either of us would ever have been able to handle if we weren’t careful. And yet...and yet, despite all of that, despite knowing, without a shadow of a doubt, how messy things would have gotten if I had let myself get drawn into her, I still wanted her. Still couldn’t stop thinking about the way she had flirted with me in the car, the way her eyes gleamed with playfulness in the dark. The way she had looked at me, like she wanted me, like she needed me.
And the knowledge that I needed her right back.
We’re here to look out for her, he pointed out. And if she wants something more, that’s on her. I’m not going to deny it if it happens.
I rolled my eyes skyward. This was the last fucking thing I needed. The one person I needed to be able to trust, above all else, looking me in the eye and telling me that he didn’t know if I should even think about it.
Yes, you are, I growled at him. You have to. We can’t lose this job. It’ll ruin our reputation-
Have you seen her? he shot back. You really think anyone in the world would blame us for going after that?
I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment, and then opened them, landing my gaze on Solomon once more. I dropped my voice low, making sure she wasn’t going to wake up to the sound of us having this discussion about her.
You need to forget that you ever even thought about her that way, I told him. And focus on your job. You hear me?
He stared back at me. I could see defiance in his eyes like he was daring me to fight him on this.
It’s time to start your shift, he told me, and he pushed past me and towards his room. The question hung unresolved between us, and I knew, at that moment, it was going to be a serious problem.
I groaned and leaned against the door. Maybe taking this job hadn’t been a good idea in the first place. Maybe I should have turned it down before we’d had a chance to move into this apartment.
Because, right now, I was having a hard time believing that either of us was going to be able to control ourselves. And I didn’t want to find out what was going to happen if we fucked up.