27. Dont Break Down
Chapter twenty-seven
Don't Break Down
Astoria
I can still feel his dick pumping into me, filling and breaking me as it sweeps in and out. His come is leaking out of my torn ass. My insides are in scorching, throbbing pain. It was stupid, and now I’m paying for it. Stupid to think anything was changing, that there was a drop of humanity in him. Part of me isn’t surprised at all. I stay on the floor. Maybe he has a camera on me and once he sees I haven’t moved, he’ll come down and I can tie the chain around his neck and kill him.
Don’t break down, don’t break down, don’t break down. It's what I need to do. I need to kill him. God, please help me. I don't want to do this. I'm not a killer. No one is coming for me. Either I kill him, or I kill myself.
Six months. Mindy! I scream in my mind.
I do the next stupidest thing. I break down until a headache with a continuous beeping attacks me, until I’m dizzy, and have to go to the bathroom to vomit. When I think about the fact that I may be pregnant, it gets even worse. I stand, and as I wash my mouth, the water stops running. He closed the pipes again, and I didn’t even have a chance to shower, which means I have to sleep with his come in my pussy and ass.
I don’t recognize myself when I look at the mirror above the sink. The same rage I had this morning when speaking about Dad rolls and explodes in me, and I pound at the mirror while screaming. It cracks and cuts my palm. The blood is significant and again, I couldn’t possibly give a damn. Slowly, take a big piece of mirror and squeeze it in my palm, watching drops of blood fall to the ground while my head throbs from the crying and screaming. I place my cheek on the cold ground beside the bed, facing away from the door and bathroom. As time passes, I slowly gather the chain of the collar closer and closer.
It’s too much, all I went through today, mentally. I can't keep living like this.
I doze off thinking that I don't have a choice.