Chapter 35
Maddox held open the door of the Prism Youth Collective building for Denise and ushered her inside.
There wasn’t as much activity going on there as there would be on a typical Saturday because so many people were at the festival, but a few teens were hanging out in the rec room area playing a board game.
They waved at Maddox and then went back to their game.
“Here it is!” Maddox grinned as they swept their arm around the space and watched Denise take in the rainbow muraled walls with assorted posters, bookshelves, computer station, and furniture.
“I’m still not sure how I feel about Bobbette yakking about me behind my back, but I’m excited to show you this place. ”
Denise laughed. “I think Bobbette was only talking because she’s proud of her sister and because she appreciates all the time you’ve spent helping her. So, is that what primarily goes on here? Tutoring?”
“That’s part of it. The main point is just to be a haven for youth, especially queer youth in the community.
We have tutoring, counseling, a gender-affirming clothes closet, classes and literature about sexual health, and shelter for kids experiencing homelessness until we can get them more permanent help from the county or state. ”
“Amazing!” Denise’s face lit up as she explored the space, examining the bookshelves and pamphlets and admiring the photos on display from various past events. “I’m so glad places like this exist for these kids.”
Maddox’s heart clenched as she watched Denise. Sharing this space with her felt more personal than anything else they’d shown her up to this point, and seeing her interest and enthusiasm was doing all kinds of strange things to their heart.
Denise paused in front of a photo of the float the Prism Youth kids had helped make for the Blueville Pride Parade a few months before. Maddox and several of the kids were standing in front of the float and waving to the camera.
“You’re obviously an amazing mentor and role model for these kids,” Denise said softly without taking her eyes off the picture.
Mentor. Role model. Maddox prided themself on wearing many hats, but both terms made their skin itch uncomfortably.
They rubbed the back of their overheated neck.
“I don’t know that I’d say that, really.
I mean, I like to hang out here and help when I can, sure.
But, hell, I’m usually the one doing all the learning! ”
“What do you mean?” Denise turned to look at them now. Her face was open and curious.
Maddox dug their hands in the pockets of their jeans and frowned.
It was awkward explaining all this sometimes, which is probably why they didn’t do it that often.
“I mean that, well, I knew I liked girls when I was really young. But I didn’t figure out I was nonbinary until a few years ago…
and it was because of volunteering here. ”
Denise stepped closer. “Really?”
“Yeah. I’d known a few trans people over the years, but it wasn’t until I started hanging out here that I actually began to do my homework.
There was a trans girl and an enby kid getting tutoring when I got here.
I wanted to learn how to support them as best I could, so I watched videos and listened to books and a bunch of podcasts.
The things I learned that way and from hearing the kids talk about their experiences and feelings really resonated with me.
I saw all these parallels between what they were describing and how I’d felt in my body and looked at the world ever since I was a kid and—I don’t know—I guess you could say the puzzle pieces just sort of fell into place. ”
“Maddox, that’s…that’s really beautiful,” Denise said. There was a slight glisten in her eyes as she looked at them.
Maddox took a deep breath and released it. The corners of their mouth lifted. It felt good, both freeing and fulfilling, to have shared this part of their story with her.
“Thank you for telling me about that.” Denise reached over and carefully took their hand, giving them plenty of time to pull away, but that was the last thing they wanted to do. Not when the warm, smooth skin of her fingers and palm against theirs felt like everything good and perfect in the world.
“Thanks for listening,” Maddox replied, their voice hoarser than they’d intended. “I know it wasn’t part of your research. Learning about the area and all that.”
Denise squeezed their hand, and her hazel eyes lit in a tender smile. “It’s learning about you.”
Maddox’s breath hitched. Denise was standing so close now, they could feel the heat of her body and catch that faint, soothing aroma of lavender that always followed her around.
Their gaze dropped to her mouth. All it would take was a tiny push forward, and they could lean down and press their lips to hers.
“Whoo-hoo!” A cheer went up from the corner where the kids Maddox had almost forgotten about finished their board game. Maddox jerked backwards a step with a nervous laugh.
Denise slowly released their hand and stepped away. Her cheeks were pink, and she chuckled too, then nodded to the kids. “They really do seem to like it here.”
“They do,” Maddox agreed, their voice returning to normal. “The Taylors, the couple that started this place, try to keep the doors open every day so the kids have a safe place to hang out whenever they need it.”
“I imagine some of them don’t get that at home,” Denise said in a hushed tone.
“Unfortunately, no.” Maddox shook their head. “We do everything we can for those especially, including helping them get jobs to build up work experience and savings.”
Denise turned to them. “You mean like Lenny? Did you get him that job at Middle Waters?”
Maddox nodded. “Lenny and a few others over the years.”
“I see.” Denise bit her lip as if in deep thought, but the gesture was incredibly distracting. Maddox turned and led the way to the back of the building to show off the classrooms and the clothes closet.
When the tour was over, they stood outside the building. The air had turned cooler as dusk settled in. Denise rubbed her hands together and bounced on the balls of her feet. “This place is amazing, Maddox. Thank you for showing me!”
“I was so glad to do it,” Maddox assured her.
They pulled their jacket closed and zipped it. “There’s a great little Italian place around the corner. It’s cozy and warm, and the food is excellent. You wanna check it out?”
Denise pursed her lips and looked away. “Maddox, I’m sorry…”
Shit. Had that sounded too much like they were asking her out? That’s not how they’d meant it. Was it? No!
They opened their mouth to adjust their tone, but before they could say anything, Denise continued, “I need to get back to the resort. I have some work to do and a few calls to make before it gets too late.”
“Yeah, of course.” Maddox’s palms went sweaty. At least she’d given them a nice brush-off instead of once again reiterating their respective roles and the need for professionalism. But it didn’t do much to ease the sting of being rejected for the date they hadn’t actually meant to ask her on.
Maddox reread the resort’s event calendar for the third or fourth time, still not retaining what they had seen.
It had been twenty-three hours since Maddox and Denise had returned to the resort after the Prism Youth Collective visit, which was the last Maddox had seen of Denise.
Not that they were counting. And not that Denise owed them a check-in either.
Granted, in the past couple of days, the two of them had seen a lot of each other, but that was because Maddox had been showing Denise around like she’d asked.
Now that was over, and Denise had work to do.
At least they hoped it was work that had kept Denise out of sight all day and not that she was avoiding Maddox after their awkward dinner invitation.
They really hadn’t meant anything by it.
The two of them had shared several meals over the past few days while exploring the festival and shops.
Those had been relaxed and easygoing, even fun.
There was no reason dinner would have been any different, was there?
An image of Denise facing them while they’d talked at Prism Youth popped into Maddox’s head.
Despite their best efforts, they’d relived that moment over and over again since it had happened.
Denise holding their hand, smiling into their eyes, inching closer and closer…
or maybe Maddox had been the one doing that.
In that moment at least, things hadn’t exactly been relaxed.
And they certainly hadn’t been professional.
And that’s why it was best Denise was keeping her distance now—whether or not she was doing it on purpose.
Maddox forced their brain to focus on the calendar event they’d been trying to reference and clicked off the app once they were done.
The luncheon that would happen here next week would be outdoors, if the weather cooperated.
That meant they’d need to ensure the proper chairs were accessible and ready to set up when the time came.
Thank God. They weren’t in any shape to do computer work right now. They needed physical activity to distract them. Locking the computer, they left the office and headed across the resort courtyard toward the storage building where they kept the outdoor chairs.
Even now, they couldn’t help taking a quick glance across the darkening courtyard toward the Cypress Lodge where Denise was and wondering if she was cooped up in her room working.
“Maddox!”
They shuffled to a stop at the sound of Oliver calling to them from the doorway of the Sycamore Lodge they’d just left. Once they returned, he clapped them on the shoulder. “Are you busy? Denise wants to talk about the buyout again.”
“At seven o’clock at night?” Maddox had no idea why that was the first question to enter their mind.