CHAPTER 2 #2
The sound of the door of the apartment across the hall being slammed closed way too hard, jolted me back to some form of reality.
I started to question why the apartment next to us, and the one across the hall hadn’t heard what went on in my apartment the day before.
Did they hear and just not care? Why didn’t they call the police?
Finally I forced my gaze away from my mother’s dead face and looked down at myself.
My hands were covered in blood, because they had been sat at my sides in the pool of blood that had sat there with me all night.
I was so cold my body was shaking against the hard floor and I ached in a way I had never known before.
I forced myself to stand and instantly dropped down to the sofa, my legs too stiff and numb to hold me up.
My eyes automatically looked around me between so many pieces of my mother.
I hadn’t loved her. Not for a long time.
I wasn’t sure if I ever had to be honest. She’d never been a mother to me, and she delighted in making sure I knew that I meant nothing to her.
But she was still a person. She had never done anything in her life to deserve the death she got.
Anger surged through me and I found myself bunching my bloodied hands into fists.
My family had done this. Would they return to kill me too, once they realised I was there?
Did they leave because they didn’t know I lived there?
There was only one bedroom. after all, and it wasn’t like we had photos of my Mum and me smiling together all around.
There wasn’t a trace of me in that place except for one small basket of clothes, and a plastic bag with some toiletries all hidden in the cabinet under the window which looked untouched.
A part of me wished they had just waited for me.
Maybe it would be easier if they’d just killed me the day before.
My fight would be over and I wouldn’t have to fear anyone coming after me anymore.
I’m not sure what I was thinking when I eventually pulled my phone from my pocket and opened the internet browser I rarely used.
Maybe I wanted to bait them so they would come and find me, and end my misery once and for all.
I was angry, I know that, and telling them I wasn’t afraid of them was definitely on my mind, but more than anything, as I searched for my brother’s name on the internet for the first time ever, I think I just wanted a chance to ask him why he never came for me.
I needed to know if he was the reason our mother was before me, massacred.
I needed to know why he stopped caring about me, because he was the only person in my whole fucked up life who ever had, and I missed that so very much.
I didn’t really take in any of the information on the search I ran.
I just saw an image of my brother next to the name of a company, and I called the number that was listed for that company, based in London.
Rafe looked the same as I remembered him, and it made me miss him even more than I had for the last eleven years, which shouldn’t have even been possible, but it was.
All of my anger at him faded as I saw his face again, for the first time in so many years.
A man answered the call, and when I tried to speak it came out hoarse and rough.
It took a few attempts for me to push the squeaked words out that I knew he needed to hear – that Rafe De Santis was my brother and I needed to speak to him.
I was put on hold, and I almost lost all of my nerves and hung up as I waited and waited, but the music droning in my ear stopped and I heard a voice I never thought I would again.
“Hello? This is Rafe De Santis. Who is this?”
I gasped deeply at the strange sensations that ran over me at just his voice.
Fear came first, and I had expected that.
My Mum had drilled it into me for years that I couldn’t trust Rafe any longer, and I had started to believe her when he never came for me.
I had questioned everything I ever thought I knew about my brother.
But there was relief too, that he was alive and safe, because the fear that our Dad had killed him for helping my Mum and I escape had haunted me for years, ever since I was old enough to realize that was a possibility.
Then came excitement that my brother was finally there on the phone, and despair at how much I so desperately missed him. .
“Hello? Cara? Is that you, sweetheart?” he asked, and I crumbled. Hearing him say my name and call me ‘sweetheart’ was overwhelming. How long had I wanted to hear his voice? “Cara, if that’s you, I’m here. Just talk to me. I’m right here.”
“W-was it you? O-r w-was it him?” I asked, my voice trembling so hard I could barely get the words out.
“Was what me? What’s happened? Are you safe?” Rafe asked all at once.
“Mum!” I screamed. “Was it y-you?!” My anger came out of me like a living breathing thing and I ripped my throat out with the screeched words, but I had to know. I needed him to tell me.
“I haven’t had anything to do with our Mum since the day you both stepped on that plane, Tesorino.
I don’t know where she took you, and I have spent every single day since then, just trying to find you,” he told me emotionally.
Tears filled my eyes and any energy I had found to be angry rushed from me.
I collapsed down onto my side on the sofa and stared at my Mum’s face again, the phone held tightly against my ear.
“You pr-promised, Rafe. You promised…you told me you’d come for me,” I sobbed. “Why didn’t you c-come and s-save me?”
“I tried, Cara. I tried so fucking hard. I looked for you everywhere. I hired investigators and reported you kidnapped. I did everything I could but you and Mum, you were just gone. I tried to keep my promise but I….I couldn’t and I’m so sorry. So fucking sorry,” he told me shakily.
“He f-found us. Mum…she…she’s dead. He knows where we are,” I explained weakly.
I don’t even know how he heard me because my voice was less than a whisper, It was hours since I drank anything, and all of the crying and frantic breathing had ripped my throat raw, not that I cared about any of that in that moment.
“Who found you? Where are you?”
“Dad! He found us and h-he…he k-killed her. There was s-so much blood and Mum….he cut her up, Rafe….he ch-chopped her up and l-left her here. Tell me you d-didn’t know…please t-tell me you didn’t do this.”
“Cara, listen to me. Dad is dead. He has been for over a decade. I promise you I didn’t have anything to do with this. If I knew where you were I’d be there right now, holding you tight and bringing you right back home with me. I love you. I’m your brother. I would never hurt you.”
“Mum s-said you were like him…like D-Dad. She t-told me not to trust you.”
“She lied to you. Don’t you remember me, sweetheart? Don’t you remember how much I love you and Gia? I would never ever be like him.” he pledged, and I believed him right then, because I did remember him, and he sounded just the same as I had pictured him in my mind for so many years.
“I miss her…Gia. Is she alright?” I asked shakily. Tears were constantly flooding down my face, but I didn’t have the strength to move my other arm to wipe them away.
“She misses you too. We both need you here at home, where you belong.”
“I don’t belong there anymore. I don’t be-long an-anywhere.”
“You do. You belong with me. I’m going to come for you this time, and I am going to bring you home,” Rafe told me. “Can you tell me where you are and what happened? Are you hurt?”
“Mum’s dead,” I whimpered. “She w-won’t st-stop looking at me.”
“Jesus fucking Christ!” A deeper voice exclaimed and I gasped in fear, even though the voice was only through the phone. I wasn’t thinking straight. I hadn’t eaten, drank, or slept in almost twenty four hours, and I was most likely in shock.
“It’s alright. That’s just Dio on the call with me, okay? He’s trying to track your location so we can come and get you. Are you still in America, Cara?”
“Dio?”
“I’m here, Piccola. I’ve missed you.” It didn’t sound like Dio’s voice, It was deeper, but he was the only one who ever called me ‘Piccola’ and the familiar word made me start sobbing again. It took several minutes for me to gather myself enough to answer Rafe’s question.
“Chicago. We….or just me now, I guess. I…I’m in Chicago. It’s okay though, Rafe, i-if they come first, okay? I…I don’t mind…not really.”
“Cara, what are you talking about? If who comes first?” Rafe snapped at me.
“The men…to k-kill me like they killed M-Mum. I don’t mind, but I….I wish I could see you again first.” There was a beeping and when I moved my cell to glance at it, I saw the prepaid credit was almost run out.
“CARA?!” Rafe was yelling by the time I got it back to my ear.
“I h-have to go. My phone…I missed you Rafe. I’m sorry.
” That was all I managed to babble into the phone before the credit ran out and the call ended abruptly.
I set it down on the sofa beside me and closed my heavy eyes.
I was so tired, and knowing Rafe wasn’t the bad guy had brought me peace.
He had tried to find me and that was enough for me.
In my state of shock I simply laid there, amongst the death all around me, and went to sleep.