CHAPTER 5 #2
“Fuck!” I hissed as I threw myself back against the wall and dropped to a crouch. I pushed my hands angrily into my hair and tried to keep breathing. “Do you know what they are?” I asked quietly.
“No.” Dario dropped down to a crouch beside me and pressed a hand on my shoulder. “Opioids I would guess. Maybe oxy, or fentanyl. Something like that. Might explain why she’s so thin and pale?”
“I did this, Dar,” I gasped as my breath seemed to rush from me. I lifted my head and ripped at my hair as I pulled my hands free of it. “I fucking failed her. I did all of this to her.”
“You never stopped searching for her, Rafe. You did every-fucking-thing that you could to get her back. We all did. It’s not your fault. If anyone is to blame it’s your fucking parents.”
“I don’t even know what to do. How do I help her when she doesn’t even trust me?”
“You show her that you are the guy you always were, and you earn her trust back. We can get her into rehab if we need to, counselling, therapy, whatever the fuck she needs…you can give it to her. You can take her home and prove that she does belong there, and always will. She’s going to need you now, Rafe.
Don’t let the guilt take you from her all over again. ”
“Mr, De Santis?” I looked up and saw the doctor stood in the doorway above me.
I jumped to my feet instantly and moved so I was opposite him.
My legs felt shaky as I forced them to hold me upright, and it was an unusual feeling.
I had been trained my entire childhood to never look weak, or to show it, at least, and I was really fucking good at it.
But Cara, seeing her so broken and hurt, and seeing what had happened to our mother, even though I had no love for the woman, it had knocked me and I was struggling to get it together.
I was relieved when Dario stood too and was at my side, where he’d always been.
He, Dante, and Arran were the only ones I trusted to see who I truly was behind the facade I wore outside of our home, but Dario was the only one who knew me well enough to see how badly I was struggling right then.
“Call me Rafe,” I said. “How is she?”
“Sleeping. She’s suffering from exhaustion and dehydration. I expect her to sleep for some time, and I’ve hooked her up to some intravenous fluids for now too.”
“Was she injured?” Dario asked.
“There are some bruises on her body, of varying ages. Her right shoulder is very badly bruised and there’s some swelling too. You said you didn’t think she was present when the attack at her place happened?”
“We don’t think so, but we don’t know for sure. Cara was very upset when she managed to call me. She wasn’t making much sense, then the call ended and we couldn’t get her to answer again. You think she was there?” I asked anxiously.
“I can’t say for sure, but some of the bruises look pretty fresh, and there are handprint bruises on her hips. I obviously can’t do any further assessment without her consent, but there was some blood, just a small amount on her inner thighs.”
“Jesus Christ!” Dario hissed as I took in the doctors words and tried to make sense of them. Why couldn’t I think straight?
“You…you think she was…was r-raped?” I asked through my tight throat. I glanced past the doctor and into the room where Cara was now curled up under a thick duvet, so small she barely took up any of the enormous bed.
“I think it’s a possibility,” the doctor nodded.
“That’s why she was so scared to be touched,” Dario told me, and I agreed. It made complete sense. If she had been there at the time of the attack, then she had witnessed what happened to our mother too. I couldn’t even fathom what she had been through.
“Please just tell me what I can do to help her,” I almost pleaded as I looked to the doctor again.
“On the whole she’s medically fine. I’ll leave some painkillers for the bruises, and that shoulder.
I’ll also give you some antibiotics. Obviously, we don’t know for sure what happened, but the blood on her thighs indicates some tearing, and that could lead to infection.
Ideally she needs to be seen by a gynaecologist for a full exam, but that has to be up to Cara. ”
“She’s scared of me. I don’t want to upset her,” I told him, and he looked sympathetic as he gently patted my arm.
“She’s scared of everyone right now, Rafe.
She’s been through hell by all accounts.
You just need to be patient and careful with her.
Maintain distance if that’s what she needs, but show her that you’re here for her too.
I believe she’s really going to need someone to lean on in the coming weeks.
You need to find a way to earn her trust so she feels she can come to you when she needs you. ”
“She has a sister too, and a big family. We’ll all rally around her,” Dario spoke up, and I nodded my agreement. I appreciated his reminder that I wouldn’t be facing all that was to come alone.
“Good,” the doctor nodded. “I’ll just arrange the meds I mentioned. I’d liked to keep her hooked up to fluids for the next twenty four hours. She’s extremely dehydrated, and I’d guess she’s underweight too. Do either of you know how to switch out the saline bags?”
“I can handle it,” Dario agreed.
“Excellent. I’ll leave enough to last you for twenty-four hours. I’ll also leave my number. If you have any problems you can call me anytime and I’ll come back. Kyle mentioned you plan to fly back to the UK tomorrow?”
“That’s right. I want to get her home where I can keep her safe,” I spoke up.
“That should be fine. Just make sure she drinks plenty when she wakes, and try to get her to eat too. Small amounts as often as possible will probably work better initially, but let her guide you. I assume you’ll see that she is under the care of a doctor, and possibly a psychiatrist when you get to the UK? ”
“I’ll make sure of it,” I agreed easily.
“If she wants to see the gynaecologist, and have the sexual assault exam done, contact me and I’ll arrange everything. Evidence can be gathered and stored safely, in case Cara ever decides she wants to report what happened to her to the police.”
“I’ll talk to her,” I nodded, but going to the police wasn’t much of an option considering who we were and what had happened in that apartment when Cara was attacked.
It was unfair of me to have to tell her that but I could also assure her that justice would be done, and in a much more fitting way too.
The bastard, or bastards that had touched my sister and left her there with our mother’s mutilated remains, would pay dearly for their crimes when I got a hold of them. Of that I was sure.
Dario followed the doctor into the bedroom again, and they were talking about changing the I.V.
bags and how to remove the needle when Cara was awake and with it enough to drink enough water.
I just remained where I was, staring at my sister as she lay in that bed, so pale, and beaten down.
She had been through hell, and I likely didn’t know the half of it.
I had to get her home, where she would be protected at all times.
I had to get her to the rest of our family where she would be loved and cared for enough that she could start to find a way to heal.
Unfortunately, I felt it may be too late to ever make that happen though, after everything I had allowed to happen to her , with every minute I failed to find her when she needed me.
Dario showed the doctor and his brother – Kyle – out of the hotel suite at some point. I wasn’t paying much attention by then. I had pulled a chair from the corner of the room up to the side of the bed Cara lay in and I was seated in it, just watching her sleep.
Eleven years had passed since I put her on that fucking flight and sent her away, like the na?ve fool I was back then.
In that time she had changed, become a woman.
She was taller, though not by much. Her sweet, rounded face was thin now, and her colouring was completely pale – a stark contrast to the tanned little girl who was always blushing, that I remembered.
But as she lay sleeping I saw her – the same eyes, and her slightly pouted lips.
She still moved her lips as though she was talking, but without any sound, every now and then, as she slept.
She was beautiful, as she always had been, but so much more delicate and fragile looking than anyone I had ever known.
I had no idea what she would need from me to be whole once again, but whatever it was, I would see that she got it, and so much more.
I would take care of her this time and I would never lose her again.