CHAPTER 6 #2
“What about Louise….a-and Terza?”
“Louise left us last year. We decided Gia was old enough to manage without her, and Louise was ready for a new adventure. She moved to France to live with her sister, but she rings us often, and she plans to visit us this Christmas. Terza is still our house keeper, still keeping us all alive and in line,” he chuckled.
I rested my head back against the wall again and closed my eyes.
It was so strange to think of all of the people I had loved and been forced to leave behind.
While my life changed completely, theirs all went on much the same, and that was a relief to know for sure.
I never wanted anyone I cared for to suffer the way I had, but it also made me feel bitter inside.
Just because of my mother’s poor decision making and Marcello’s psycho temper, my whole life had been ripped from me and replaced with a battle I had no choice but to wage for the last eleven years.
“I didn’t love her, Rafe,” I uttered shakily.
“Who, sweetheart?”
“Mum. I…I stayed with her and I tr-tried to take care of her, but I…I never loved her. I d-don’t think I even liked her. How terrible is that?”
“It’s not terrible. She took you from me, and everyone who loved you because of a situation she created. She never showed you any love, or even kindness from the day you were born, and I’m assuming that didn’t change when it was just the two of you?” Rafe prodded.
“She hated me,” I admitted. “Then she….I don’t know.
I just….I think she lost it eventually. I don’t think the drugs and th-the drinking helped, but she…
it got worse. I should have got her help, but I w-was scared.
She told me….said so many times that you a-and Marcello…
.that you’d kill us if you f-found us. Somewhere along the way I believed her and then I…
.I think I lost my mind a little too, trapped in fear right with her. ”
“Everything she said about me was bullshit, Cara. Please believe that. Dad was another matter entirely, but he died not long after you were gone. Ever since then all we’ve ever done was search so we could bring you home.”
“It’s not home now, Rafe. There is no home….hasn’t been since the day I left you,” I admitted tearfully.
“You have a home, Cara. It’s in my house in Kensington.
I have a room all ready for you on the top floor.
Gia’s room is on that floor, and mine too.
I painted your room in shades of lilac and cream, because they were always your favourite.
Gia helped me pick out the furniture, and every Christmas we took a photo and framed it, for your room, so you would be able to see Gia grow up over those years you were gone.
I filled the shelves with books, because you used to love to read so much.
It’s been there since we all moved in, and it’s just waiting for you, just like Gia is too. ”
“You m-made a room for me?” I asked emotionally.
“Of course we did. I’d never make a new home that you weren’t a part of. I knew I would be able to bring you home one day. I would never have stopped looking for you, if that’s what it took. I love you Cara. I always have and I always will.”
“I don’t…” I didn’t even know how to respond.
“Sshh. It’s alright. I don’t expect you to say it to me, You haven’t seen or known me for a very long time.
I know you need time for me to prove myself to you again, and for you to get to know me as I am now, but just try to give me a chance, please?
I’m not perfect, but I try to be the best man I can be for my family.
I need to be allowed to take care of you, Cara.
I need to protect you and know you’re safe.
I’ve been out of my mind with worry for you for so many years, I think I lost my own mind a little too. ”
“But I…I’m n-not your sister…not properly.”
“Don’t ever say that again, Cara,” Rafe bit back ferociously.
“I don’t care if we share one parent, two, or even none.
You have been my sister since the day you were put into my arms hours after you were born, and you will be my sister until I take my dying breath, and beyond.
We share blood, but I’ve come to learn that blood isn’t all that makes a family. ”
“Sorry. I ran down to reception for some first aid supplies. How are we doing in here?” Dio asked as he came stalking into the room with a green first aid box in one hand and my backpack in the other.
Rafe slowly pulled back a corner of the tissues he still held to my arm, and leaned in close.
“I think the bleeding has stopped. Come and look if you think it requires stitches,” Rafe spoke up.
“Are you comfortable with me coming closer, Carr?” Dio asked as he froze a few feet behind Rafe.
“You’re the only one who ever called me that…
Carr,” I told him as I took him in again.
He’d been around eighteen when last I saw him, and though those same bright blue eyes still sparkled as they used to, so much of him had changed.
He didn’t smile the way he used to, and he looked so serious, not that any of it took away from how devastatingly handsome he was.
He had definitely become a man, and then some.
“You want me to stop? Does it bother you?” he asked.
“No,” I shook my head. “I like it. Reminds me of before.” I met his eyes and smiled just a fraction.
He took it as my ascent and came closer, taking each step very slowly and deliberately, all for my benefit, I assumed, until he was on his knees beside Rafe.
He took hold of my arm and lifted the covering. The bleeding had stopped.
“It looks okay to me. Hand me the first aid box and I’ll clean it up and bandage it. No need for stitches,” Dio told Rafe.
“Are you a medic, or something?” I asked, curious.
“No. I’ve just fixed up a few wounds in my time. I work for Rafe. I oversee the finances mainly.”
“That’s bullshit. You run the whole show as much as I do nowadays,” Rafe corrected him.
“The business?” I questioned.
“We build, own, and operate a vast string of hotel and entertainment businesses. Restaurants, bars, nightclubs. Places like that, but the main earner is the hotels and resorts we run worldwide,” Rafe explained.
“It’s all legitimate business and it works as a good cover for the small foothold I have no choice but to maintain in the criminal enterprises our father got us tied up in. ”
“Your father. I don’t…can’t think of him as mine. He’s just Marcello to me,” I corrected him, and he simply nodded. The only good thing to come out of the whole mess my life had become, was knowing that monster of a human being wasn’t blood related to me.
We all remained silent as Dio cleaned the wound on my arm, then dressed and bandaged it. It was a little overkill for a cut I would have just stuck a band aid on, but I could see it calmed Rafe to have it tended to.
“What happens now? Mum’s body?” I questioned.
“We couldn’t contact the police, Cara. I’m sure you understand why. I had the apartment cleaned up and Mum’s remains taken for cremation. The ashes will be given to us, and you can spread them or keep them. I think the choice should be yours, since you knew her the most.”
“I don’t want to keep them!” I cried, cringing at the thought.
“Whatever you want to do is fine. I can deal with them if you don’t want anything to do with it, Gioia. Whatever you want,” Rafe told me gently.
“Yeah…please. I can’t….I don’t want to…to do that. I can’t,” I gasped as my breath got harder and harder to catch.
“I’ll handle it. I’ll deal with everything.
It’s going to be alright,” Rafe told me as he very slowly, giving me time to move away, slid his hand to mine and gently covered it.
“All I need you to do is help me take care of you, okay? Anything you need or want, you just tell me and I’ll make sure you have it. ”
“Can we leave? I…I want to see Gia, a-and Terza.” I requested shakily. Seeing that my baby sister was safe was at the top of my priority list.
“Yes, absolutely. I’ve scheduled the jet for later today if you feel up to that?” Rafe asked, and I just nodded. A jet?
“I…I d-don’t have a passport though. Mum lost them,” I admitted.
“Not a problem. We’ll get you a new one, and other identification when we get you home,” Dio told me. “My Mum will be so overcome to have you home. I hope you’re ready for a whole lot of being force fed Italian food,” he added with a smile.
“Chicken alfredo…that was my favourite. Gia would only eat macaroni. Do you remember, Raffy?” I asked as the memories came back to me.
“I remember. Gia’s still a fussy eater now. She pretty much lives on chicken nuggets like a five year old,” he chuckled. “What do you like to eat now, Cara?”
“Anything. I don’t mind,” I shrugged. I definitely wasn’t fussy. I knew too well what true hunger was to ever turn away food.
“How about you get cleaned up and dressed if you want to, and we can order some room service?” Dio suggested.
“Can I…is it okay if I take a shower?” I asked as I glanced between them nervously.
Ideally I wouldn’t want to be in the vulnerable position of showering naked when I had no idea of how secure I was, but I could feel my mother’s drying blood all over me and I could barely keep it together recalling why it was there.
“Of course it is, Tesorino. You don’t have to ask. Will you manage? You seem rather unsteady?”
“I’ll be fine,” I agreed. I’d find a way. I always did.
“Don’t worry about that bandage I just put on. We can dress it again when you get out,” Dio added.
“Do you want me to wait in here, in case you need help?” Rafe asked.
“No!” I answered too quickly. I saw the hurt cross his eyes again and felt crappy for putting it there. “Sorry. I just…it’ll take time…for me to know you again. I’ll b-be okay,” I tried to explain.