CHAPTER 17
CARA
Feeling a little shell shocked, I stumbled to the stairs and walked down the first flight, so Gia wouldn’t be able to see me if she came out of her room.
There I sat on the top step of the next flight and buried my face in my hands as the tears came.
All I had wanted when I agreed to come back to the UK was to see Gia and know she was alright, but apart from that first day, she seemed to loathe me being there.
Even if I wasn’t a disappointment to Rafe, I feared I was definitely one to Gia.
It took me a while to pull myself together.
More than ever I felt like I didn’t belong there in that house, and I hated the thought that what Gia said was true – that things were worse there for her since I came along.
It did make sense. She was trapped at home now because of the men after me, and Rafe had been mad with her that morning because I had, inadvertently, landed her in the shit.
She definitely wasn’t getting as much of his time because he was worrying about me.
Was there more than that, things I didn’t even realise she was going through because of my presence there?
I didn’t want that for her. She might be spoilt and moody, but she was still my baby sister and I’d do anything she needed me to do to ensure she was happy.
I needed to mull it over, and I couldn’t sit mid-meltdown while I did that, so I pulled myself together, wiped at my eyes and cheeks, then got to my feet. I still needed to deliver my terrible sketch to Dio…or Dario? Either way, I had told him I would get him the image.
As I passed the fourth floor I felt this desperate need to go to Cal for one of the hugs he had promised me, but I knew he could be fast asleep and I didn’t want to wake him, even if I did feel brave enough to go to him at all.
I pushed myself past the floor with reluctance and went down to the office, sure that was where I would find Dio.
It was where he seemed to live when he was home.
“Cara? Is everything alright?” Rafe asked when I stuck my head inside and found him in there alone. There were two large desks inside, facing each other, Rafe was behind his, but the other was empty.
“Sorry to disturb you. I was just looking for Dio,” I told him.
“He’s home somewhere. I left him in the living room after dinner, with Dante and Cal. Is everything alright? Have you been crying?” He got to his feet and came closer, so I stepped inside, not wanting to be rude.
“I’m fine. I spoke to Gia, and let’s just say you’re not the only one she’s pissed off with right now,” I sighed.
“What has she done now?” Rafe asked through gritted teeth.
“Nothing,” I said quickly – too quickly if Rafe’s raised eyebrows were anything to go by. “She just…she’s mad with me, because I agreed with you on her needing to stay home. Don’t say anything to her though, please Rafe. We’ll figure it out.”
“I don’t want her upsetting you.”
“I’m upsetting her too though. It’s just going to take time for us to get used to being sisters again, I think.”
“Fine. I’ll stay out of it for now, if that’s what you want, but I know what she can be like, Cara. Don’t take her shit. She’s a very talented actress when she wants or needs to be.”
“We’ll be fine,” I assured him. “I should find Dio. I drew that tattoo for him…the one I saw on that guy.”
“Do you want me to give it to him? You look tired,” Rafe offered.
“No. I…I’ll find him. I slept all afternoon. I’m good. I might grab something to eat too, if that’s okay?”
“Cara,” he said with some disappointment.
“I know…don’t ask, but I…I can’t help it. I’m not used to this…all of this.”
“Then get used to it, sweetheart. You’re home now. Start believing it,” he told me with a gentle smile.
“I’m trying.”
“I know you are. Can I get a quick cuddle?” he asked, and I smiled as I lifted my head to meet his eyes, then nodded and went to him.
He opened his arms and I walked into them and wrapped my own tight around his waist. He was wearing his trousers and shirt still, but it was all a little more crumpled now, his shirt sleeves rolled up in a relaxed way.
“I love you Cara. I need you to know that, in case I forget to tell you in all of this chaos we’re messed up in. I’m happier than I can tell you to have you home.”
“I love you too. I need you to know that too. What happened in Chicago…what I did….I wasn’t trying to leave you. I was just so lost,” I told him.
“I understand, Tesorino. Just please, next time you feel that lost, come to me. Just give me the chance to find you, before you do anything like that ever again.”
“I will if I can,” I conceded. Rafe squeezed me tighter, that answer not quite what he wanted to hear, I assumed. Eventually he released me and stepped back.
“Go on. Find Dario and get something to eat. I’m always here if you need me.”
“I know that,” I assured him and finally he smiled a little.
I left it at that, hoping he understood I really was trying. It was just all so different though and it would take me time to feel comfortable there, if I ever did.
I couldn’t decide whether to go for food or to find Dio first, but thankfully my decision was made when I walked into the kitchen and found Dio sat at the island in there with a bottle of scotch open before him, staring at his phone which was in one hand, and a tumbler filled with the amber liquid in the other.
“Hey,” I greeted as I walked in. Dio looked up and smiled a little for my benefit I was sure, because he didn’t look as though the smile was natural. Instead he looked exhausted and stressed out, his usually tidy hair, messy, and his suit long gone, replaced with a scruffy t-shirt.
“Hi, how are you?” he asked, setting down his glass and phone to give me his full attention.
“Good. I slept pretty well this afternoon.”
“Glad to hear it. Arran mentioned you had a bad night last night.”
“Oh God, did he tell you he found me in my closet and that I laid all over him while I had a complete mental breakdown too?” I groaned.
“No, but you just did,” he replied. “Why were you in the closet?”
“It doesn’t matter. You wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me,” he persisted.
“I sound so ungrateful,” I sighed as I pulled out the stool beside him and slumped into it.
“I’m not used to huge rooms like the ones in this house.
It’s fine most of the time because so many people live here and there are people around constantly, but up there, in that huge room…
I hate it, Dio. It’s so big and silent. I feel so alone and lost in there.
I went to the closet looking for somewhere I could feel safe,” I admitted.
“You don’t feel safe here?” he asked with concern.
“I don’t feel safe anywhere, especially when I’m alone. I haven’t been safe anywhere for a really long time, Dio, and it’s hard to believe I’m suddenly safe here, especially after my past. It’s all I know…being cautious, always ready for the next threat or fight.”
“There are no threats here, Cara. I understand that it may take time for you to believe that, but I promise you that you are safe in this house,” he assured me.
“I’m trying to believe it. I might just have to sleep in the closet for now though,” I told him with a smile, hoping he’d relax some.
“What are you even sleeping on?”
“Someone put some comforters and blankets in there. They’re really comfortable actually. I slept there today.”
“Why don’t you share with Gia until you feel more comfortable? I’m sure she’d understand if you ask her,” he suggested.
“I don’t think she would, not right now anyway,” I scoffed. “She’s not too keen on me being here right now,” I clarified when Dio looked to me with question.
“What do you mean? I’m sure she’s delighted to have you home, just like Rafe and I are.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I shrugged. “We’ll work it out. Can I ask you something?”
“Anything, Piccola.”
“Do you mind me calling you Dio, or is it silly?” I asked him.
“Silly? What? Of course I don’t mind. That’s what you’ve always called me. I like that you still use that name. What made you ask that?”
“Gia said I shouldn’t call you that. She said you wouldn’t like it anymore. I just wanted to check. I don’t want to annoy you.”
“Cara, you could never annoy me, and certainly not by calling me Dio. That’s my name as far as you and I are concerned, okay?”
“Okay,” I agreed with relief. I knew it wasn’t a big thing to call him Dario instead, but calling him Dio was something that felt familiar to me, from my life before. I needed those things if I was ever going to settle there.
“Are you hungry? You missed dinner?”
“I was coming to find something to eat, but I wanted to find you to give this to you first,” I explained as I pulled the drawing from the pocket of my robe and handed it to him. “It’s not exactly a work of art, and I don’t remember all of the letters, but I think the ones I drew were there.”
Dario opened the folded sheet and studied the image. I worried it was too bad for him to even make head nor tail of when he just stared hard at it, but then he looked up at me and nodded.
“Thank you, Carr. This helps,” he told me.
“Do you know what it means?” I pushed.
“No, but I think I know the language those letters are from, which gives me a huge clue about who might be trying to get their hands on you.”
“Who?”
“I can’t be sure, and it doesn’t make any sense, since we have no dealings with them, but those characters you drew are from the Armenian alphabet, I think. I’ll need to check it out to be sure,” he explained.
“Armenian? And this family has no dealings with them?”
“Nope Never had anything to do with them. They don’t run from our ports. They have their own routes.”
“Then why would they come after me?”
“No idea. You can’t think of anything? Did your Mum have any dealings with any criminals, or get into debt with bad people? Anything like that?”