CHAPTER 4
CARA
Rafe was in the kitchen when we entered, and I immediately worried about him.
He wasn’t dressed in his trousers and shirt like usual.
Instead he was wearing scruffy navy sweatpants and a black tank top.
His hair was in disarray with no product in it, and when he turned to face us all, he was too pale, dark smudges under his eyes.
“Cara? What are you doing down here, sweetheart? Terza is getting your breakfast ready to bring to your room,” he worried as he shot to his bare feet and came towards me.
Cal set me down without me needing to ask, so by the time Rafe got to me I was ready to wrap my good arm around him and hold him as tight as I could.
“I’m okay. I wanted to check on you and Gia. How is she?” I asked. Rafe just held me too, and he seemed in no rush to let me go or answer my question.
“I’m so sorry Gioia Mia,” he uttered softly against my hair.
“You have nothing to be sorry for. I knew what I was walking into. I’m just grateful you arrived in the nick of time.” I told him.
“Please don’t do that again. I understand that you thought you had to, and I’m so grateful to you for getting yourself and Gia out in one piece, but please never put yourself in danger like that again.
If anything like that happens you come to me, alright?
I will handle it. I need you safe, Cara.
You have to stay safe.” He sounded emotional as he almost pleaded with me.
“I’ll do everything I can to stay safe. I promise, Rafe. And if kidnappers text me again, I’ll let you know, okay?” I sniffled as tears filled my own eyes. His very obvious love for me, and fear of losing me choked me up. I wasn’t even his full sister, but it didn’t seem to matter to him.
“I was so scared I’d lost you both,” he told me. He was still holding me as tight as I thought he dare, like he was too afraid to let me go.
“You didn’t though. You got to us in time, and we’re both home now.”
“How are you?” he asked as he took a deep breath, then stepped back, releasing me.
“A lot better than last night. The doctor left me some pain meds that are helping. I’m alright,” I assured him.
“The concussion?” He looked past me to Cal with question.
“I woke her every two hours through the night to keep an eye on her, but she’s been fine. Her shoulder is the biggest issue. It’s causing a lot of pain,” Cal explained.
“You woke me every two hours?” I asked with confusion.
“It’s procedure following a head injury. I just woke you enough to ask you a few questions and check your pupils.”
“Huh. I don’t remember that.”
“You were exhausted. You barely woke,” Dante told me.
“Everyone come and sit down. I’ve made you all a hot breakfast. You look as though you need it,” Terza declared as she started laying out serving dishes of everything needed for a full English breakfast.
“Do you feel up to eating something?” Rafe asked as he wrapped his arm around me and led me to a high seat at the counter.
“Just try and stop me,” I laughed. “I’m starving this morning.”
“Eat up, sweetie. I’m so relieved to see you this morning. Are you alright?” Terza fussed as she came up behind me and leaned over to kiss the side of my head.
“I’m fine, Terza. Thank you. This all looks amazing,” I told her.
Rafe helped me up into my seat, then pushed it under the counter for me, so I could reach everything. I was relieved when he sat beside me. He clearly hadn’t slept the night before, so he really needed to at least eat.
“How is Gia?” I asked again as we all started filling our plates. Arran, who sat at my other side, must have grown tired of my one armed struggle to grab a little of everything, and took my plate, filling it for me himself.
“I don’t know. She wouldn’t let me stay with her last night. I tried to talk to her, but she’d locked herself in her room,” Rafe answered.
“That okay, wee one?” Arran asked as he set a heaping plate of food before me.
“Perfect. Thank you.”
“Haven’t you seen her this morning? She seemed pretty drunk last night, Maybe she’ll be calmer today?” Dante suggested.
“I really hope so,” Rafe sighed. “And no. I haven’t seen her yet today. I knocked on her door this morning, but she didn’t respond.”
“Was she hurt badly?” I asked with concern. Had the doctor even checked on her?
“She had a small cut on her head and some scrapes and bruises, but nothing serious. She was just so afraid though. It was so unlike her, the way she was clinging to me. She wasn’t even like that with me when she was tiny. I just didn’t know what to do.”
“You did the right thing staying with her, Rafe. It was my fault she blew up like that. I’m not sure why, but clearly me being here is upsetting her a lot,” I pointed out.
“Well, she’ll have to get used to it, because you are not going anywhere, Cara. Do you hear me? You belong here just as much as Gia does, and I don’t want you getting any wild ideas about leaving,” Rafe said pointedly.
“Don’t be ridiculous, Rafe. Gia has lived here for most of her life.
She belongs here a lot more than I do, and she’s still a child.
If my being here is causing her as much distress as it did last night, then I’ll have to leave.
I’m an adult. I’ll be fine,” I explained stubbornly.
It was the truth, even if the idea of having to leave that house, where I had found some peace and safety, hurt more than I would ever admit.
“No one is leaving. It’s not safe, You both need to stay here where we can protect you,” Dante decreed with a finality I’m sure he felt would bring it all to an end.
“Let’s just see how things are this morning. Like we said, I’m sure Gia will be calmer once she’s sobered up,” Cal suggested.
I decided to table the discussion for the time being, and instead started eating.
Cal had put my arm back in the sling, so I couldn’t use it even if I wanted to try, and I was struggling with anything I couldn’t cut with my fork.
Still, the food was amazing as always and I started to feel better with every bite I took.
Everyone went pretty quiet as they tucked in too. It had been a long night for everyone, and we hadn’t eaten dinner the evening before either. We were all famished.
I had put away entirely too much food by the time common sense told me to call it quits – having eaten almost the entire, enormous plate of bacon, sausage, egg, and toast that Arran had served up for me. I groaned as I sat back in the seat and rubbed at my stomach which was aching already.
“Ye alright, Cara?” Arran asked. I glanced up at him and found not just him watching and waiting for my answer, but all of the guys.
“Sorry,” I said with some embarrassment.
I hadn’t meant to make that sound so loudly, or even out loud at all.
“I just ate too much. I’m not used to it, but it was so good.
I hope one of you is feeling up to prising me out of this seat and rolling me through the house,” I joked as I smiled and looked between them.
“What do you mean by not being used to it? You didn’t even eat that much,” Rafe questioned.
“It doesn’t matter,” I told him with a shake of my head. He was exhausted and dealing with enough that morning, without hearing any of my sob story.
“It matters to me. You didn’t eat properly before? In Chicago?”
“Money was tight,” I shrugged, then regretted it instantly as my shoulder started to throb again. “I certainly never got to eat like this.”
“What about Mum?” he asked.
“I always made sure she had food, Rafe. It wasn’t healthy, and by the end she couldn’t really prepare anything for herself, but I swear she always had food available…something she could get for herself. Usually dry cereal. But I did cook hot food for her too when I…”
“Cara. Stop, sweetheart. I didn’t mean that. I know you did everything you could to take care of Mum, even though she absolutely did not deserve it. I was asking why Mum didn’t do more to make sure you ate better.”
I nodded and took a breath. Guilt rode me hard at just the mention of my Mum, and when Rafe had asked, I had just assumed he had seen my failure towards her as keenly as I felt it.
“I told you, she was out of her mind by the end, Rafe. If I hadn’t have brought food, she wouldn’t have eaten, and likely would have starved to death. I’m not even sure she knew fully who I was during the last few months,” I explained.
“And before that?” he pushed.
I sighed deeply, realising Rafe wasn’t going to let this drop.
“You know what she was – an addict. Drugs and alcohol were her only real concerns. I survived though. I’m here now. There’s no use in continuously re-hashing the past.”
“I know,” he nodded. “But I just…she needed to eat too. I just assumed…I thought she would have at least provided food for you.”
“She did sometimes. Other times were tougher, but it was fine,” I lied.
I just wanted him to drop the subject. I had already put him through the ringer, and now Gia was acting up even more than usual.
The last thing he needed was to go looking for more guilt to plant on his shoulders, all for things he couldn’t have changed.
“It wasn’t fine. Cara!” he snapped, his sharp, almost shouted words making me jolt in shock.
“Rafe,” Dante reprimanded.
“He’s no’ mad wi’ you, lass. You’re alright,” Arran soothed, leaning in close and wrapping his arm around my shoulders.
“I…I know,” I agreed, but my voice wavered as I kept my eyes on Rafe.
His fist was clenched, sitting on the counter before him, and he was taking deep breaths, like he was trying to calm himself.
I wasn’t scared of him. I had confidence my brother would not hurt me, but I felt wary of him.
I had never seen him look that angry or…
unsteady. He looked like he was the one standing at the precipice of a cliff that morning, and I was desperate to find a way to pull him back from it.
“Rafe, you’re worrying Cara right now,” Cal spoke up.