13. Grady
13
GRADY
Elliot stares at me for so long that I think I might have broken him. When he finally blinks, it seems to bring him back to me. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Friends-with-benefits,” he explains, looking down at where I’m still holding his hands in mine. “We can do that.”
I’m not sure what to ask next, but I know I need to be the one that takes initiative here. “When do you want to start?”
“Start?”
“Yeah,” I lean forward, gently brushing my lips against his knuckles. “We could start right now if you?—”
“We need to do your PT!” He cuts off my question, and I see the panicked edge to his gaze as he looks around the room. “We didn’t finish this morning.”
“We can just do twice as much the next time.”
Elliot’s eyes finally find my face, but the look in them is one of annoyance. “That isn’t how it works, Grady.”
“Who says?”
“I say,” he mumbles, gently extracting his hands from my grip. “We need to get to the gym before everyone has to be in uniform.”
“Elliot,” I try to stop him, but he moves faster than expected. He’s out the door before I can say more than his name, and I hiss a curse under my breath before following him.
“I think we need to warm you up again.” Elliot’s looking at his tablet, back in full trainer mode now that we’re in the gym. I want to make a joke about knowing a good way to warm me up, but I don’t think he’ll appreciate it right now. “Then we’ll do the second half of the session. We should have enough time for that and a cooldown.”
I let him walk me through the warmup and the first few exercises. I wait until the deep red flush has disappeared from his face before I start the conversation again. “You said you have a list. Is it like an actual list that you’ve written down, or is it more of a general idea?”
“A list?”
Confused Elliot is one of my favorite versions of the man. It’s genuinely adorable when he has no idea what’s going on. “Of things you want to try.”
Elliot’s eyes widen in shock, and he nearly releases the exercise band he’s looping around the pole. “I-I-I don’t. That’s not what, uh, I d-don’t have a list.”
“Elliot,” I step toward him, carefully taking the band away before he accidentally snaps one of us with it. I knew he’d be nervous, but this is bordering on panic and that’s the last thing I want. “If you’re not comfortable with me?—”
“I am,” he cuts me off, a deep breath sawing in and out of his lungs. “I am. I just…have you ever had someone offer you everything you’ve ever wanted, and you’re not sure what to do with it?”
The image of Elliot moaning my name while riding my cock comes to mind, and I feel myself nodding at the question. “It’s overwhelming.”
“Exactly,” he sighs, relief flooding his features.
I don’t even realize I’m reaching for him until my hand grazes the side of his jaw. Elliot shudders, leaning into the touch with a soft sigh. “We can go slow. You tell me what you want to try, and we’ll do it.”
“That isn’t exactly fair to you.”
“This isn’t about me.” I pull my hand back from his face as I step into position next to the pole. Grabbing the resistance band, I line myself up and start the next round of exercises.
“There has to be something you like doing, though.” Elliot is watching me, but the way he’s worrying his bottom lip tells me he isn’t seeing me through whatever thoughts are crowding his mind. “I don’t want to be selfish.”
My harsh snort of laughter brings him out of his head. Elliot rolls his eyes, but there’s a soft smile playing on his lips. “What? I don’t! No one likes a selfish partner.”
I nearly drop the band at the word partner, but I learned that lesson once today and have no desire to do it again. “You’re not going to be selfish. I like all kinds of stuff, and if there is anything I don’t want to do, I’ll tell you.”
“You promise?”
Elliot’s soft green eyes meet mine in the mirror, and I know I have to be honest with him no matter what. If I lose Elliot’s trust in this, I’ll lose Elliot, and that cannot happen. “I promise.”
He nods once before turning his attention to my body. His fingers sliding against my arm as he adjusts my posture sends a shiver across my skin. I open my mouth to ask if public sex is on his list and if we could move it up to right fucking now , but I’m interrupted by the sound of someone yelling our names across the room.
“I was wondering where you guys went,” Mills huffs, flopping onto the bench next to Elliot’s tablet. “King is here, and he’s cranky.”
“I am not cranky,” King snaps, appearing at Miller’s side. “I’m tired of your shit, but I’m not cranky.”
“Same thing.”
“Not really,” Hoax huffs, jumping onto the treadmill to my right. He gives Elliot an odd look, and I see a silent conversation pass between the two of them. I’m desperate to know what that’s about, but this doesn’t feel like the time to ask. Maybe later, when I have Elliot freshly fucked and in my bed.
I remind myself that this isn’t the time for that, either. Especially when I catch Steal’s eye in the mirror, and he shoots me a look that says my thoughts aren’t as private as I had hoped.
Mills sighs heavily, turning to lie across the bench. “Can you believe we’re getting fucked with the late game tonight and an early game tomorrow?”
Everyone grumbles in agreement as Elliot adjusts my posture again. He doesn’t touch me this time, and I immediately miss the feel of his hands on me.
“Where did you get a candy bar?”
At Hoax’s exasperated sigh, we all turn to face Miller, who has half a candy bar sticking out of his mouth. “Frum va vendin maccinne.”
“What happened to the version of Miller that slapped sandwiches out of people’s hands because they weren’t healthy enough?”
“Yeah, dude,” I frown at Miller in the mirror, realizing the last few meals I’ve seen him eat have been candy-based. “What’s with the sudden sweet tooth?”
“I like candy,” he shrugs, tossing the wrapper into the bag at his feet. “You’re all just jealous that I can maintain this physique while loaded up on sugar.”
“You’re headed for an early retirement if you don’t get that under control.”
King’s statement is met with resounding silence. No one moves, all of us holding our breath to see how Miller will react. He’s never been great with the idea of retirement, but it’s been an especially touchy subject since King announced he was leaving last season.
“Maybe I am,” Mills shrugs, lacing his fingers against his chest as he stares at the ceiling. “Would that be so bad?”
Movement at my side pulls my attention to Elliot, who is watching Hoax with a pinched brow. My gaze moves to where the young pitcher is standing completely still on the treadmill. He’s looking at Miller, but the glassy sheen to his eyes makes me think he’s not focusing on the other man. Elliot carefully walks toward the treadmills, one hand out as though he’s prepared to catch Hoax if he falls. I can’t hear what Elliot is saying over King and Miller’s conversation, and I nearly snap at the other two men to shut up.
“I never thought you’d come around to the idea, Mills.”
“I never thought you would either, but you seem to be enjoying yourself.”
“Because it was my time.”
“Are you saying it’s not my time?”
“I’m not saying anything.”
“Then stop raining on my dream.”
“I thought baseball was your dream.”
“Don’t you say it was only my dream,” Miller growls, pointing an angry finger at King. “We played this game together. Won and lost together. We were supposed to retire together .”
“We’re not married, Mills.”
“Fuck you, Samuel .”
My attention snaps away from Elliot and Hoax at the pure venom in Miller’s voice. There’s no jest to the words, no joke on the heels of his statement. I’ve never seen Miller angry, but I’m seeing it now. His arms are crossed, brow furrowed, and mouth set in a hard line.
“It’s not like you talked to me or even had the fucking decency to tell me that you were thinking about it. You just fucking did it. And then,” he snaps, pushing off the bench to stand in front of King. “You got the tattoo that we talked about getting together , and you didn’t fucking tell me about it. I just saw it, and when I tried to ask you about it, you did that fucking thing that you always do. Oh, no, Miller might have emotions. Better shut this down before he gets upset. Better not tell him that I’m being forced out. Better not tell him that I fell in love. Better not tell him that I’m proposing to my girlfriend.”
“What?” Elliot and Steal ask the question in unison, but Miller ignores them as he stares King down.
“I’m tired of you acting like I can’t handle life. I get that your shit is way worse than my shit could ever be, but that doesn’t mean I’m wrong in the way I process things. You’re my best friend, and that means something to me. It means I can trust you with everything, and I thought that went both ways, but apparently, I was wrong.”
“Mills—”
“I’ll see you guys on the field,” Miller grabs his bag, moving around the group on his way to the door. We all watch him go, none of us sure what to do in this uncharted territory.
“Grady,” Elliot calls after me, and I realize I’m already halfway across the gym on my way toward the door Miller just disappeared through. I ignore him, hoping Mills won’t have gotten too far away yet.
It turns out I needn’t have worried. Miller is leaning against the wall opposite the gym door, his head tipped back, and eyes closed.
“I figured it was mean to make an injured man run.”
“I appreciate you looking out,” I meet his soft smirk with one of my own, though he doesn’t see it. “But I’ve done much more than run with this injury.”
“Are you really going to brag about your sex life right now? Can’t you see I’m a wounded man?”
“I didn’t think there was a version of you that wouldn’t want to hear about other people’s sex lives.”
“There isn’t,” he admits, cracking one eye open. “He, she, they?”
“He,” I move across the hall, leaning beside him.
“Was it good?”
“Unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.”
“Uh-oh,” Mills smiles at the ceiling, his eyes closing again. “That’s what I said about Lottie.”
“Next, you’ll tell me I’m on a slippery slope toward love .” I force a small laugh, hoping the knot in my chest will loosen sometime soon.
Miller turns his head toward me, a frown furrowing his brow. “I don’t think like that anymore.”
“No?” I can tell we’re coming around to the real conversation, but I try not to push it too hard. I’ll give him the opening to bring it up if he wants, but I won’t force him if he doesn’t. “What do you think about now, Mills?”
“Retirement.”
“You think you’re ready?”
“Fuck no,” he sighs, rubbing a hand across his face. “I just said that to piss off King.”
I had a hunch that was what happened, but I didn’t want to say it in case Miller wasn’t aware that’s what he was doing. “Why did you want to piss off King?”
“He bought a ring.”
“And that upsets you?”
“He didn’t tell me he was going to do it, he just showed it to me out of nowhere. And I know,” Mills rolls his eyes dramatically. “King buying a ring for Ellie has nothing to do with me, but I always thought it would . I’m not delusional, I knew King would get married and have babies, and that they would become his priority. I just always thought he would still want me there with him, you know?”
“Yeah,” I agree because I do know. King and Miller aren’t just best friends . King’s parents both died when he was young, and Miller’s family took him in. They were raised as brothers, and that’s a bond that far surpasses friendship.
I think of my own brother and how the only conversations I’ve had with him in the last year have been two short and empty phone calls. How would I feel if he got engaged and didn’t tell me? Probably the same way I felt when Callum told me Theo was dating Charity Lawson—like complete shit. Like I’ve let down the only person who has always been there for me. Like I’m not enough.
“I shouldn’t have told everyone he’s going to propose.”
“Probably not,” I nod, adjusting my position against the wall when my shoulder starts to ache. “But the good thing about King is that he will forgive you. In fact, I bet he’s in there right now trying to talk the guys into letting him come after you.”
“I threatened to knock Conrad out when he got in my way,” King’s grumbled reply comes from the doorway opposite us, and I feel Miller stiffen at my side.
I give Mills a reassuring pat on the shoulder before moving out of King’s way. He instantly takes my spot on the wall, head tipping back to look at the same piece of ceiling Mills is staring at. The two of them stand silently next to each other, and I push my way back through the door to the gym to give them a minute alone.
They’ll figure it out. And if they don’t, I’ll trick them into seeing the truth. Miller is emotional, but he’s not irrational. King is closed off, but he’s not dead inside. There have been a lot of changes in their friendship lately, and neither one of them has done an even halfway decent job of navigating it, but they’ll be alright if they just talk to one another.
“Everyone good out there?”
“No one was throwing punches, so it felt safe to leave them alone.”
I give Steal a tight-lipped smile that he returns with a nod. I’m not surprised he stepped between King and the door. The scrappy little shit never backs down from a fight when it’s to protect someone he loves, and as much as he and Miller argue, I know they love each other deep down.
Deep, deep down.
“Is he going to retire?”
The quiet question comes from the treadmills, where Hoax looks seconds from throwing up. “Nah, he’s not retiring. Not for a long time,” I assure him, reaching out a steadying hand when he steps off the end of the treadmill.
Hoax nods several times, his hands fidgeting with the bottom of his t-shirt as he makes his way over to the bench Mills recently vacated. I try to catch Elliot’s eye, but his focus is entirely on the pitcher. Elliot is whispering something to Hoax, who is still nodding his head.
“Any idea what that’s about?” Steal is at my side, watching Elliot and Hoax with a look that I feel mirrored on my own face.
“No clue,” I admit. Hoax takes a few deep breaths, and Elliot smiles encouragingly at him.
Before Steal can say anything else, the gym doors open, revealing Miller and King. Neither of them is bleeding, and Mills has a lopsided smile on his face, so I assume they got their shit sorted without me having to bang their heads together.
“Post-game family night tomorrow. Ellie and King’s apartment. Non-negotiable.” Miller points at each of us, his eyes lingering on Hoax and Elliot momentarily as he tries to place what’s wrong. “You good, Hoaxley?”
“Yeah,” he gives Mills a halfway believable smile. “All good.”
“Good,” Miller moves over to him, slapping a hand loudly against the younger man’s shoulder. “Because I need to win at least three more World Series before I can retire, and I can’t do that with you on the bench.”
We all groan, throwing towels and empty water cups at Mills. If he keeps jinxing us, we’ll never even make it to another World Series.
Elliot catches my eye over everyone’s heads and gives me a small smile, nodding toward the pole where I’d been doing my exercises before everything went to shit. There isn’t time to do the rest of the workout before the guys change, but Elliot doesn’t seem as worried about it now.
“It’ll be alright,” he shrugs, looking down at the tablet. “Besides, you technically had an extra workout this afternoon.”
The deep flush that spreads across his face as he says those words makes my heart pound. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah,” he smirks, finally meeting my gaze. “And I thought you might get another one tomorrow night.”
Sweeter words have never been spoken.