9. Kristin
9
KRISTIN
Will
I see the housekeeping elves are back to their sneaking. Thanks for the surprise, Sunshine.
I chewed my lip as I read the text message over and over. And over.
And over.
“So, like I was saying,” Kyle Kingsley continued, clearing his throat. His voice snapped me back to reality. “You can go the used car route. We’ve got some great ones with decent mileage. But I’d recommend going with a new car if you want something that’ll last you long term. Plus, you won’t have to visit the mechanic as often. It will save you money in the long run.”
“That makes sense,” I said, nodding as if considering my options. There wasn’t much to consider, though. I didn’t have the money for better down the road . I just needed something to take me from point A to point B tomorrow.
Steve couldn’t even diagnose all the things wrong with my old clunker. He just called the time of death. Ignoring my protests, he even paid a professional mechanic for a second opinion. No pulse. Not even worth selling for scrap parts.
The guy at the junkyard laughed when Steve hauled it through the gate.
Chase told me to use his truck for as long as I needed, but that thing guzzled more gas than my wallet could handle.
I had a little money saved up for a new car. The writing had been on the wall for months. Unfortunately, a little just wasn’t enough.
“I should probably stick with something used,” I said to Kyle, trying to hide the desperation in my voice. The thought of spending that much money had kept me on a hair trigger all day. The kids were with me, though, so I did my damndest to keep it together.
Kyle nodded. “Cool deal. Just follow me.”
He led us to the lot filled with used cars parked side by side. He pointed to a few that would be good options. Thankfully, one of his employees needed help, and he left us alone.
“I don’t like that guy,” Logan muttered.
Kylie nodded in solidarity. “I can’t believe Miss Bridget is with him. He gives me the creeps. She can do so much better.”
I shot them a warning look. “He’s being very kind and helping us get a good deal, so zip it.”
“Still a creep,” Hunter mumbled under his breath.
I walked through the row of cars, peering at the information posted on the windows. My phone buzzed again.
Will
You didn’t have to ding-dong-ditch. Could’ve stuck around and had a cup of coffee with me.
Kristin
Sorry, I had to run as soon as I clocked out. I’m car shopping. Any advice?
Will
Let me go with you.
I smiled at his last message. He was presumptuous, and I didn’t hate it.
Will
One question. Are we going to talk about that belly button piercing of yours that I got a look at the other night? I think it’s cute.
Oh, sweet baby cheeses . The man was doing a number on me. I wondered what he would think about my tattoo. Did he have tattoos? What did he look like underneath all those long sleeve shirts?
I stared at my phone and wished I could flirt better. I didn’t want to take it too far or lead him on, but there was nothing wrong with a little playful banter.
I didn’t really miss dating all that much. The last time I had a boyfriend was when I was nineteen and in college. Sex had never been great, but what nineteen-year-old actually knew what they were doing in bed? I fooled around a little in my former life, but nothing memorable ever happened. Probably a blessing in disguise .
I didn’t know what I was missing, so there was never anything to miss.
Will wasn’t the Luca type—all slick, muscly, and charming like a celebrity. Which was good, because God knows I embarrassed myself when I first met Luca at Maddie’s houseboat. It took six months of seeing him at poker night before I stopped getting all giggly around him.
He wasn’t the Steve type. Even though Steve has a heart of gold, he was growly, gruff, and built like a fridge.
And he definitely wasn’t the Isaac type—the jet-setting playboy who basked in the limelight. Hell, he was pretty much the complete opposite .
Will didn’t fit any of those molds. He was secure in who he was. Quietly confident.
Some guys filled out a t-shirt so well they could turn me into a giggling mess. Sure, he was as hot as asphalt in the middle of July, but Will made me laugh and kept me at ease. Some used their charisma and confidence to dominate every room they entered. Will carried himself humbly and made space for me to feel like I belonged.
There were a lot of types of men out there, but Will was a man among men.
He also seemed like he would know a thing or two about the art of female pleasure. He was soft-spoken, but always in control. I imagined him being confident in the bedroom. Those thirteen extra years on earth had probably given him enough time to perfect his moves.
He may have been the strong silent type, but the man was a downright flirt.
Goosebumps flashed across my arms at the memory of that night we played pool at the bar. The way he put his arms around me while I lined up my shot. The way he knew when to move closer and when to put enough space between us to leave me craving his orbit again.
And that text about my belly ring? That decision had been the impulse of a sixteen-year-old girl. Lately, though, I had thought I was getting too old to keep the piercing in. Sure, I liked it, but it wasn’t becoming on me, as Cheryl used to say.
Will liked it, though…
Kristin
Good to know you like the piercing. At least you won’t be too shocked if you ever see what else I keep hidden.
See? I thought to myself with a satisfied smile, stuffing my phone in the back pocket of my uniform pants. I could totally flirt. Kind of.
I needed to work on that.
“This one?” Kylie asked, cringing.
“Huh?” I snapped to attention and looked around. I’d been standing in front of the same car for far too long. It only had two doors and too many zeros on the price tag. What I really need is a mini van, but even I wasn’t desperate enough for a mom car.
“You’re being weird today, Krissy,” Hunter piped up.
I sighed and tightened my ponytail. “Sorry, guys. Just some, uh, stuff at work.”
“I’m hungry,” Zoey whined.
“I know, sweetie,” I soothed, smoothing my hand over her hair. “It’ll only be a little longer. Can you hold on for a few more minutes?”
She pressed her cheek to my leg and whimpered.
I surveyed the options before turning to Logan. “What do you think, Lo? Anything we should test drive?”
He shrugged and kicked at a piece of loose gravel.
What I wouldn’t give for someone to lean on. I didn’t need someone to take the burden of responsibility off my shoulders. All I wanted was for someone to prop me up while I caught my breath.
Sure, I had the poker club. They were the most incredible group of friends that someone could ask for. But I craved something more.
Something to call mine.
Was it so wrong to want a little space to become a whole person again? I spent every second of my life taking care of other people.
Hell, I would have settled for a night by myself. Dating required more time and energy than I had to give, but taking myself out for dinner? That sounded like a fantasy. Dinner at a restaurant, a glass of wine, a book, and no one to bother me.
A girl could dream .
“Found something you like?” Kyle Kingsley asked as he wandered back over to us.
“I think this is the one,” I announced, deciding on a small car that didn’t look like a total heap of scrap metal.
“Great choice, Kristin. I’ve been waiting for this one to go to a good home. It’ll be a good fit. Let’s go inside and get you squared away,” he said, leading us back to the office. He helped me sign all the paperwork and handed over the keys.
Chase said he’d have Steve drop him off at the dealership to pick up his truck later. It was probably a good thing that Chase was bringing Steve as a babysitter to make sure he didn’t go ape shit on Kingsley if they crossed paths.
I swung through a drive-through and sprung for a celebratory dollar-menu dinner. With the car payment added to my heap of bills, things would be even more tight than they already were. But I wanted the kids to feel like today was a win.
We got home later than usual, so it was a rush to finish homework, take baths, then— finally— off to bed.
With all that behind me, I rummaged through a laundry basket for something to wear to sleep. Less was more with sleepwear during the summer. Our window unit AC couldn’t keep up with the sweltering summer heat. I couldn’t wait for the change of season when I’d be able to open the windows at night.
“Krissy?” Zoey’s small voice carried from the hallway.
I snagged an oversized t-shirt and threw it on. “Yeah, Zo?”
She tiptoed through the darkness, dragging Floppy by the ears. “I can’t sleep.”
“Why not?”
She sniffed. “Dunno.”
There had been a lot of nights where Zoey couldn’t sleep. Kindergarten hadn’t been bad. When she started first grade, though, she noticed that most of her friends had more than one parent. She realized something was different about her situation .
I never lied to Zoey, but I also shielded her from the ugly reality as much as I could. She had no memories of our parents, but she understood I wasn’t her mom.
I was nineteen when Zoey was born. Off at college, living carefree. There was quite an age gap between us, but that was just the way it went since my parents were so young when they got pregnant with me.
Zoey had been eleven months old when the cops busted our parents for selling drugs. Reading through the police report was where I first learned that Bill and Cheryl—no longer mom and dad to me—kept their stash hidden under Zoey’s crib. Recalling that revelation still made my blood boil with the worst kind of hatred.
No one suspected the friendliest real estate agent in Beaufort would deal hard drugs. No one suspected that a mom of five who served as the head of the PTA would push pills in the carpool line.
Bill and Cheryl had everything: the big brick house, white picket fence, and a picture-perfect family.
But it was all built on sinking sand. A foundation of lies.
They could rot in prison for all I cared.
I was the one who left my dorm and showed up in the dead of night to comfort my petrified siblings. I helped Zoey take her first steps. I potty trained her. I helped her learn her ABCs.
I was the one who gave Logan the talk. I taught him how to drive. I helped Kylie decide whether she wanted to use pads or tampons when she got her first period. Hunter hadn’t hit any significant milestones yet— thank God . But they were inevitable. The day would come when his voice dropped and his upper lip sprouted an unfortunate looking caterpillar.
“Do you want a glass of water?” I asked.
She shook her head and sniffed again.
I scooped her up in my arms. “What’s the matter, Zo?”
She buried her head in the crook of my neck. “I have to sing a song for parents’ day at school tomorrow. ”
“Zoey!” I exclaimed in a hushed tone. “That’s great! Are you feeling a little nervous?”
She shook her head. “Everybody else will have a momma and a daddy there, and I won’t. After the program, all the mommas and daddies are ‘sposed ta come to the classrooms and sit at our desks wif us and I won’t have anyone there.”
I dreaded parents’ days at school. I dreaded parent-teacher conferences. I dreaded daddy-daughter dances. I especially loathed Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Obviously, not every kid had two parents at home, but I still hated it for my kids.
And innocent Zoey didn’t understand where our parents were, what they had done, or why they had nothing to do with her.
She whimpered. “Why did mommy and daddy have’ta go away?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. With a shaky breath, I said, “Because sometimes it’s better that way. But you have me and Logan and Ky and Hunter, and we’re still a family.”
She seemed to accept that and squeezed me tight. “Do you wanna sleep in my bed?”
“I don’t think there’s room for both of us, babe,” I said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “But I think Mr. Floppy needs some extra snuggles tonight, so maybe he’d like to sleep with you?”
“Okay!”
I picked up Zoey’s beloved stuffed bunny and booped her nose with him. At least Mr. Floppy pried a smile out of her.
I cradled her in my arms and carried her back down the hall to the small room she shared with Kylie.
“Do you think one day we’ll have a house with a bunch of rooms?”
I smiled faintly. “Maybe someday you and Kylie won’t have to share a room.”
Zoey shook her head and yawned. “I like sharing a room with Ky, but you need a real bed too. ”
That damn lump in my throat grew larger.
The older kids remembered what life used to be like. A safe neighborhood. No sharing rooms. No sleeping on a busted couch. New clothes and family outings. It was only a matter of time before Zoey started looking at things more critically. I wanted to slow time down.
I tucked her in and planted a kiss on her forehead.
A lone tear streaked down my cheek as I padded back to the living room. I wiped it away and told myself not to spiral.
The house rule allowed only one person to cry at a time. Since Zoey was having a tough night, I’d just have to save my breakdown for another day.
I tossed my pillow and blanket on the couch and flopped on my back, completely drained.
My phone lit up from its spot on the wobbly end table. I reached over my head and unhooked it from the charger.
Will
How did car shopping go? Any luck?
Kristin
Your girl got some new-ish wheels and a nauseating car payment.
Will
My girl, huh? I like the sound of that.
A smile forced its way onto my face, and my cheeks went red. All the worry and stress slowly drained out of me, and I relaxed into my pillow.
I’d get to see Will tomorrow.
My heart raced at the thought. The excitement almost made me forget that Rich had berated me for fraternizing with a guest. Maybe we couldn’t have lunch together anymore, but I’d still get my forty-two minutes with him while I cleaned his room.
Kristin
I didn’t mean it like that, Solomon.
Will
I know what you meant, and I said what I said.
Kristin
Working late?
Will
Yeah, got into a flow with a new project. Making good progress. Figured I’d take a break to ask how your night went.
Kristin
As good as can be expected, I guess. Tell me more about your project.
Will
Tell me more about your night.
Staying tight-lipped about my life outside of work had gotten harder and harder. I knew the kids didn’t need to be protected from someone like Will. It was really the other way around. Will needed to be protected from my life outside the inn.
At work, things were nice and neat. I could flirt and bask in the attention. No harm, no foul.
My home life, on the other hand, tainted everything it touched. Will didn’t deserve to be collateral damage just because he flirted with me at work. And my siblings shouldn’t have to witness the inevitable disaster.
Sure, I was the big sister and not the parent. But I still felt responsible for keeping our house of cards as stable as possible. I didn’t want to bring boyfriends around and let the kids get attached, only to devastate them when it eventually didn’t work out. Because why would it work out?
Only a fool would drive straight into a shit storm.
Kristin
Nothing out of the ordinary.
Will
Tell me about the ordinary then. Or maybe you could tell me about it on our date.
Kristin
Goodnight, Will.
Will
See you in the morning, Sunshine. Sweet dreams.