Chapter 13
Chapter 13
Neisy
NOW
“Levi, get your shoes on. We’re going to be late.” That kid will be the absolute death of me. He moves in reverse, especially in the morning. Kane and I joke about giving our six-year-old coffee for the jolt of caffeine. We look forward to him becoming a teenager so that’ll be an option. In the meantime, every morning is a struggle with him.
“He’s still in the bathroom, Mom,” my eldest, Charlotte, tells me when she comes downstairs ready to rule the fourth grade.
“Seriously?”
“Would I lie to you?”
“Never. Watch the twins while I fetch him.” I kiss the top of her blonde head and take the stairs two at a time. “Levi! Let’s go.”
“I’m coming.”
“Not fast enough.”
“Dad says these things cannot be rushed.”
I roll my eyes because that’s absolutely true. Kane takes forever in the bathroom, and his son is him all over again in more ways than one.
“If I have to come in there…”
“You do not want to come in here.”
“You’re going to miss the bus.” I drove Charlotte to school every day until the twins arrived and made it impossible to get four kids out the door by seven forty-five every morning. The bus is the best thing to ever happen to me since the twins were born.
“I haven’t missed it yet, and I’m not gonna start today.”
“Please, buddy. Hurry up.”
“I’m coming.”
The sound of the toilet flushing gives me hope that I won’t be trucking four kids to the elementary school this morning.
“I’ve got your stuff.” I go back downstairs with his sneakers and sweatshirt. The mornings are still cool, but it’ll be in the seventies by midday. I love the fall, but not as much as I love the lazy days of summer when no one has to be anywhere until cheerleading starts up for Charlotte in late August.
I’m in the kitchen closing lunch boxes when my phone rings. When I glance at it and see that it’s Kane, I grab it. He’s been deployed on the U.S.S. Dwight D. Eisenhower aircraft carrier for two weeks and is due home later tonight. I’m thrilled to realize he’s back in cell range.
“Hey there.” I hold the phone in the crook of my neck to keep my hands free.
“Hey, yourself. How goes it there?”
“Usual morning chaos thanks to your son.”
“I love how he’s my son when he’s causing chaos and your son when he makes the honor roll.”
“What’s your point?” I ask, smiling. I can’t wait to see him. Everything is better when he’s home.
“No point. Just sayin’. I miss you guys. How’re my babies?”
“They’re wonderful. Charlotte is in charge while I smoke Levi out of the bathroom.”
Kane laughs.
“It’s not funny, and it’s all your fault for telling him a man needs time to himself in the morning.”
“That’s the truth.”
“If you teach Hayes and Hudson that, too, we’re going to have a problem.”
“I can’t wait to see you guys.”
“Same.”
“Date night after bedtime?”
“It’s on.”
We’ve become experts at date nights in our own home, since finding a babysitter for four kids under the age of nine, including nine-month-old twins, isn’t a simple proposition.
“What time will you be home?”
“Should be there by late afternoon. I can see land.”
“They’ll be so excited.” I never tell them he’s due home until he’s back in port, lest something happens to delay him. That doesn’t seem likely today, so I feel safe telling them.
“Same. I’ll take them to the park to give you a few minutes to yourself before dinner.”
“I won’t say no to that.”
“See you soon. Love you.”
“Love you, too. Hurry.”
“I’m hurrying.”
“Was that Dad?” Charlotte asks.
I hand her lunchbox to her just as Levi finally appears in the kitchen to down a protein bar.
I point to his shoes. “Yes, that was him. He’ll be home this afternoon.”
“You get all silly when he calls after deployment,” she says, batting her eyelashes as she mocks me.
I sputter with laughter. “Are you having a seizure or something?”
“Haha, nope. That’s you when Dad comes home.”
I bop her playfully on the head, retrieve the twins from their high chairs and step outside the front door just as the bus lumbers down the street. Another close call. Somehow I manage to juggle the twins and blow kisses to Charlotte and Levi and get myself back into the house without disaster.
I put the babies down on their mat in the playroom and run into the kitchen to grab my coffee without taking my eyes off them. They’re quick these days.
When I return to the playroom, Hayes has Hudson’s foot in his mouth.
I don’t stop that until Hudson starts to protest and then I separate them. But like the proverbial magnet and steel, they’re right back on top of each other a minute later. They hate being separated for any reason.
I’ve just put them down for their morning nap when the doorbell rings.
It’s probably my neighbor wanting me to try her latest confection. She’s working on getting a home baking business off the ground, and I’ve been assisting with social media.
I swing the door open, but it’s not Gretchen.
The sight of Houston Rafferty brings back a thousand painful memories in one big rush of emotions from a time I’d much rather forget. What the hell is he doing here? “Houston?”
“Hey, Neisy.” And that name… I haven’t gone by that since the summer from hell.
“Wh-what’re you doing here?”
“Could I come in for a minute?”
I realize I’ve been frozen in place since I realized who was at my door. “Of course.” I unlock the storm door and open it for him.
As my old friend steps into my house, I’m screaming on the inside. Houston was always so good to me, but he’s a reminder of a time I’ve worked so hard to leave in the past.
“Beautiful home.”
“It’s a mess. Four kids.” I shrug. “I gave up years ago.”
“I was happy to hear you and Kane were still together.”
“H-how did you find me?”
“I saw Ronnie.”
My mom’s cousin, who owns the restaurant where I worked with Houston. I haven’t seen Ronnie in years, not since…
I cross my arms, wishing that could protect me from the onslaught Houston’s unannounced arrival has unleashed.
“Could we sit?”
If he hadn’t been the one person from that time who was good to me, I would’ve said no, we can’t. I would’ve asked him to leave. But because it’s him asking, I sit on the loveseat while he takes the sofa in the one room that’s not been completely overtaken by kids.
“Why are you here?”
“I have some news about your case.”
Those words make me go cold all over with dread. “My case? There is no case. It was dismissed for a lack of evidence.”
“A witness has come forward.”
It takes what seems like a full minute for his words to register. “A witness.”
“Yes.”
“Someone saw him…”
“Yes.”
He never blinks.
I look away. I can’t bear this.
“Neisy—”
“Please don’t call me that. I’m Denise now.” I want to tell him Neisy died a long time ago. Denise was forced to pick up the pieces of her life and carry on, to find love, meaning and joy, things Ryder Elliott tried to take from Neisy.
“I’m sorry, Denise.”
“What do you want from me?”
“I’m the police chief in LE now. The attorney general may be willing to reopen the case based on this eye-witness testimony.”
“No.”
“No?”
“I’m not reopening the case. The first time almost killed me. I can’t go through that again.”
“I understand how you feel, but—”
Rage, the kind I haven’t felt since that summer, boils up inside of me. “Unless you were attacked, assaulted and robbed of your virginity by the local hero and called a slut by his friends, you can’t possibly understand how I feel. Unless you miscarried the baby you were left with after that night, you can’t possibly know the journey I was forced to take to get my life together or how long that journey took. It took years , Houston. I can’t go back to that place again because someone who failed to do the right thing then wants to clear their conscience. There’s nothing in this world that could make me revisit that time.”
“Not even to get justice?”
I shake my head. “Who’s the witness?”
“I suppose it doesn’t matter because if you’re not willing to participate, we have no case.”
“It matters to me. I want to know who left me in the woods after I was raped and then sat on that for all these years.”
“Blaise Merrick.”
It takes me a second to put a face with a name. I remember Arlo Merrick because I had a class with him, and he was one of the boys who signed that hideous affidavit full of lies. Blaise didn’t stand out to me, which means she wasn’t one of the tormentors.
“Why didn’t she come forward?” As soon as I ask the question, I hold up my hand. “Never mind. I know why. She grew up with him. I was nothing to her.”
“You weren’t nothing to her. I took her statement. This has weighed on her soul every day since it happened. She explained that she had close ties to him through her brother, who’s still one of his best friends. Her best friend at the time was dating his brother. And she wasn’t allowed to be in LE with the car. A lot of things conspired to keep her quiet, and she regrets that very much.”
I find that hard to believe. “So why now?”
“Ryder is running for Congress. Blaise said she couldn’t bear to think of him running for office, knowing what she did about him. She said the minute she heard about his campaign she couldn’t hold on to this secret for another second. She drove straight from her home in New York City to LE and asked to see me.”
My insides twist into knots.
Ryder is running for Congress.
Blaise saw him rape me and is willing to testify to that or Houston wouldn’t have come all this way to find me.
Houston puts a business card on the table in front of me and then stands to leave. “Think about it. If you change your mind, give me a call.”
I want to tell him I won’t change my mind.
As I walk him to the door, my mind races with thoughts, emotions and memories that’ve been buried for years. It took a long time, a very long time, not to think of that summer every day anymore. I can’t revisit that dreadful time and continue to care for my family. I know that as sure as I’m breathing. It would undo me all over again. I survived it once. I can’t do that a second time.
“I’m sorry to show up out of the blue this way and upset you, but I didn’t want to call you with this news.”
“You’re only doing your job. Congratulations on becoming chief, by the way.”
“Thanks.”
“Your dad must be proud.”
“He is.”
“The rest of your family is well?” I force myself to ask even though I don’t care about anyone from that time except for him, the one friend I had.
“Yeah, Dallas lives locally with his wife and three kids, and Austin is in California. She’s married with two little boys.”
I feel rage at the mention of Dallas, who also lied about me to save Ryder. “What about you?”
“Not married and no kids. I guess you could say I’m married to the job.”
“Thank you for coming, Houston. I’m sorry if it was a wasted trip.”
“It wasn’t wasted because I got to see an old friend. I’m glad to see you happy and doing well, Denise. You deserve that.”
“We all do. Don’t give the job too much.”
“I’ll try not to.” He gives me the tender look of an old friend. “Take care of yourself.”
“You do the same.”
Kane’s homecoming is the usual circus with the kids wanting every second of his attention after missing him for two weeks. He takes Charlotte and Levi to the park and then helps with homework and baths while I go through the motions of making dinner.
“What’s going on?” he asks when he catches me zoning out for the third time.
“We’ll talk after they’re in bed.”
“Are you okay?”
“I think so.”
He gives me a curious look before scooping up the twins to get them to bed first.
Charlotte and Levi take longer to settle down and require multiple stories from daddy.
He comes downstairs more than an hour after he went up.
I’m waiting for him with a glass of the Cab he loves.
“First things first.” He sits next to me and leans in for a lingering kiss. “Hi there.”
He makes me smile even at the most difficult of times. “Welcome home.”
“These deployments get harder all the time. I want to be here with you guys.”
“Does that mean you’ve made a decision about staying in?” As he nears the eight-year mark, he’s torn about whether he wants to make the navy a career.
“Maybe, but we’ll talk about that later. What’s going on with you?”
“Houston Rafferty came to see me earlier.”
That name and the memories that go with it shock him as much as Houston’s visit shocked me. “What’d he want?”
“To tell me a witness has come forward who can back up my story about what happened that night.”
He stares at me, his expression conveying shock and anger. “A witness has come forward now ? Where’ve they been all this time?”
“She had close ties to him. Apparently, she couldn’t live with it any longer after she heard he’s running for Congress.”
Kane blinks and looks as angry as I’ve seen him since that summer. “He’s running for Congress.”
“That was a surprise to me, too, but the witness told Houston there was no way she could let that happen.”
“But she had no problem watching you be savaged when this first happened? She didn’t have the decency to step forward when her testimony would’ve sent him to trial?”
“It was complicated for her.”
“Complicated for her ?”
“Shhh, Kane. Keep your voice down.”
“I’m sorry, Dee, but I don’t want to hear how this was complicated for her. You went through hell, and she could’ve helped you but chose not to.”
“Houston said her brother was best friends with him .” We never say his name in this house. “Her best friend was dating his brother. She wasn’t supposed to be there that night and would’ve gotten in big trouble at home. Not to mention she grew up with him and didn’t know me from Adam.”
“She saw you being attacked and assaulted and said nothing. I don’t care what reasons she thinks she had. There’s no excuse for sitting on something like this for fourteen fucking years . And that son of a bitch is running for Congress?”
“Kane…”
“I’m sorry, but this is infuriating.”
“I know.”
He softens, puts his arms around me and holds me close. “Of course you do. What did you say to Houston?”
“I said I wasn’t interested in revisiting that time in my life.”
I wait for him to respond, but he doesn’t, so I pull back to look at his face, which is set in a stormy expression that’s so unlike his usual chill demeanor it’s unsettling. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I want you to nail that mother f’er to the wall. He’s running for Congress ? Fuck that shit, Dee. He doesn’t deserve that kind of job. He doesn’t deserve anything after what he did to you.”
“I don’t know if I can do it. The first time almost killed me.”
“It’d be different this time. You’d have someone backing up your story, and you’re not seventeen anymore, having to deal with other kids defending him.”
“The same people will still defend him, especially the ones who lied under oath to defend him the first time.”
“So what? They can’t touch you. You’ve got a whole life that has nothing to do with them.”
“I don’t want everyone in my new life to know about this. I don’t want to reopen that wound. I’m afraid it’ll change everything and undo all the hard work we’ve done to move on from it.”
“Those are reasonable concerns, but let me ask you this. What if it’s not just you he’s done this to? What if there’re others?”
“Don’t put that on me! I can’t be responsible for what he’s done to other people.”
“I’m not saying you’re responsible. I’m saying if you testify, maybe you can stop it from happening to someone else.”
I get up because I can’t bear to sit still. “I don’t want anything to do with it.”
“It’s your call.”
“Will you support me if I decide I can’t do it?”
“I’ll always support you, and you know that.”
“It may not even happen. Houston is talking to the AG’s office. It’ll be their call about whether to reopen the case after so much time has gone by.”
“Whatever you decide to do, I’ll be right there with you.”
“Thank you.”
“Come back over here.” He holds out his hand to me. “I missed you so much.”
I take his hand and sit next to him. “I missed you, too.”
As I lean into his warm embrace, I’m determined not to let the past interfere with my happy, contented present. But that’s easier said than done. Ever since Houston showed up on my doorstep, the memories of that time are as fresh as they were then.
“Have you told your dad about this?” Kane asks.
“No, I wanted to talk to you first.”
“You need to tell him.”
“I’m afraid Dad will kill him when he hears he’s running for Congress.”
“He won’t do that, but he’ll want to. Just like I do.”
“I can’t talk about this anymore if I’m to have any chance of sleeping.”
“What can I do?”
I wrap an arm around his waist and snuggle in closer. “Just this.”
“ This is my favorite thing in the whole world.”